I hate to be misunderstood especially when someone does not really read or comprehend what I wrote. You stated, "You reason you must pretend to be something you are not" This is the exact opposite of what I said. Read what I wrote again.Admirable but in a philosophical and abstract way, to me anyway.
You reason you must pretend to be something you are not. I don't look at it that way but more importantly I don't feel about it that way. It's not about having an advantage not coming out but about a disadvantage when coming out to society. With close friends it can be different.
If I would feel there is a moral obligation to go public with our fetish I would. If I would describe myself as gay or bi, I would feel a moral obligation to come out. I also speak out about monogamy and that I don't believe in it. There is no question about that even among my family. I don't say we fuck other people to them tho, those conversation just don't happen. I simply never have felt the need and would not feel comfortable doing it either.
It's about privacy. A friend of mine does BDSM. He never tells me what his specific kinks are. It's just a matter of what you are comfortable with sharing. I hear plenty about the people he meets in the kink, so most likely that's something he does want to share. Perhaps he's like me keeping the specifics private, or he assumes I am not interested in meat hooks jabbed places I don't want think of and therefore avoids the subject. I have friends who do not share my obsession with my work (surprise!) while with colleagues its all we talk about. I won't bore them with my appreciation of sinewaves. Would I stop being his friend if he started talking about meat hooks and sex? No, I would just squint a lot while he's speaking, which might be a bit weird
You might subconsciously avoid certain topics about your personality or even simply don't speak about them consciously not related to your sexuality. So while I am sure I can confide my best friend with all the details of my kink, I simply do not want to myself!
In my book a true friend is someone when ******* hits the fan (think STD, bad date, etc) are there for you no questions asked.
interesting perspective - i like the way you think..
Before you do, you might want to talk about interracial first and test her reaction. Unless you know she has been with black guys, if so then she should encourage you.
Ok here we go
Since you make such a big fuzz about me not reading you properly let me indulge with your own quotes.Ok here we go
"There are many different levels of trust If you can't share what you do interracially with a "best" friend and expect discretion I would have to ask how good a friend she really is."
As I have written before, with a best friend it might be different. It does not have to be, important distinction and as you might have read in my original post I went on to explain why. (see the coming out analogy)
Then you go on the say that if your peers do not accept you for who you are they can not be your peers. You also say society will never change if people are not the first to jump.
"Moreover, nothing can change if we all just accept the current dogma regarding race and status. Someone always has to be the brave one and be the first to jump. Strength of character is always recognized and those who are in position to be hurt by violating socially accepted but dogmatic principles of what is acceptable and what is not, are likely to be accepted and followed provided they articulate their reasoning to their associates and followers. Their credibility will outweigh and eventually change public opinion. This is true only if they have enough strength of character is follow their ideals and a deep need not to be hypocritical. While this could cause pain in the short term, the wisdom of racial equality is undeniable once thought out and if my peers can't think it out, they can't be my peers regardless of their social status."This is exactly why I talked about coming out. You are talking about racial equality. (!?) This implies there is a morality in this all for the good of society. That is why I made an analogy with coming out as you can read in my original post. This is a subject I think society is actually being helped. I do not see how this kink can help equality between races accept for creating a single race rendering this kink obsolete.
At some point it comes down to how well I live with myself. Pretending to be what I am not for social or economic advantage is self destructive even if I know I am doing it, if it violates my true principles. Ultimately, those who "respect" me must be those who respect who I really am. Only in this way can I truly have a 'best" friend.Then I simply followed your reasoning; Pretending to be what I am not for social or economic advantage is self destructive even if I know I am doing it, if it violates my true principles. Well as you might have noticed it does not violate my principle and values and you can read EXACTLY why in my original post, if you had read it
you make interracial relationships synonymous with kink. I don't get that. Moreover, it seems you just want to be "right" as opposed to having an actual discussion. I'm not impressed and what I wrote still stands. I don't get your points and so, I can't respond to things like "I do not see how this kink can help equality between races accept (Except) for creating a single race rendering this "Kink" obsolete. This is jibberish.Ok here we go
"There are many different levels of trust If you can't share what you do interracially with a "best" friend and expect discretion I would have to ask how good a friend she really is."
As I have written before, with a best friend it might be different. It does not have to be, important distinction and as you might have read in my original post I went on to explain why. (see the coming out analogy)
Then you go on the say that if your peers do not accept you for who you are they can not be your peers. You also say society will never change if people are not the first to jump.
"Moreover, nothing can change if we all just accept the current dogma regarding race and status. Someone always has to be the brave one and be the first to jump. Strength of character is always recognized and those who are in position to be hurt by violating socially accepted but dogmatic principles of what is acceptable and what is not, are likely to be accepted and followed provided they articulate their reasoning to their associates and followers. Their credibility will outweigh and eventually change public opinion. This is true only if they have enough strength of character is follow their ideals and a deep need not to be hypocritical. While this could cause pain in the short term, the wisdom of racial equality is undeniable once thought out and if my peers can't think it out, they can't be my peers regardless of their social status."This is exactly why I talked about coming out. You are talking about racial equality. (!?) This implies there is a morality in this all for the good of society. That is why I made an analogy with coming out as you can read in my original post. This is a subject I think society is actually being helped. I do not see how this kink can help equality between races accept for creating a single race rendering this kink obsolete.
At some point it comes down to how well I live with myself. Pretending to be what I am not for social or economic advantage is self destructive even if I know I am doing it, if it violates my true principles. Ultimately, those who "respect" me must be those who respect who I really am. Only in this way can I truly have a 'best" friend.Then I simply followed your reasoning; Pretending to be what I am not for social or economic advantage is self destructive even if I know I am doing it, if it violates my true principles. Well as you might have noticed it does not violate my principle and values and you can read EXACTLY why in my original post, if you had read it
Gibberish? How it it not accurate? Feel free to prove me wrong, discus the actual subject and do not start changing it when you don't find answers following your own rhetoric.
