Yes, I DO prefer "thugs"

MonicaV said:
The problem with this statement is that it reflects the foundations of many problems of the African-American community. As an educator, I know from my own experience how difficult is to create interest in studies among young people living on the edge of society, as they consider some street subcultures as a form of identity or rebellion against social norms. This reality in the USA acquires a racial dimension that makes the problem greater and seems to be an important factor of alienation very difficult to overcome.

Of course, we cannot struggle against our sexual impulses that rarely are politically correct. Sexual arousing many times implies playing with cultural stereotypes. That is not a problem if you are cynical about it, but that statement implies making no difference between stereotype and reality.
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I totally agree. So many black man struggle with being alienated and stereotypes
 
Idowives0763 said:
This topic always seems to bring a certain amount of discord whenever it is brought up. I'm going to attempt to shed a little light on it in my own little way. This may get a little lengthy so please bear with me.

First I will address some of the reasons why some of us black men get so offended at the whole thug vs non thug debate. The truth is that for most of us, even the most successful of us, come from the very environment that breeds real thugs like a swamp breeds mosquitoes. In other words, most of us either started out in some type of hood or we are only one generation removed from it (meaning that maybe our parents made it out and gave us a better upbringing but were still close enough to have close relatives who still lived there). So we have very intimate knowledge of what a real thug looks like, sounds like, acts like, etc. Now, since we have lived this there are probably many men here who can attest to the fact that getting out of that environment is not the easiest thing to do. Like Chris Rock said...in the hood, you get more respect coming home from jail than you do coming home from college...or even the military. It sometimes seems like the only way you can escape the hood without giving up your "hood pass" is to either make it out through sports or music. God forbid you use your brain to get out because if you do, people will actually question your 'blackness'..and I'm talking about other black people. If you were to ask most black men on this site, not matter how educated, well traveled and accomplished they are if they have had anyone close to them end up either dead or in jail before the age of 21, I'm sure that most of us could give you a nice sized list that would include childhood friends, classmates and family members. In other words, if you make it out of that environment you are somehow viewed as "not as black" (whatever the hell that means). I can personally remember encountering this. First of all, a little background about myself. I am originally from Philadelphia, North Philadelphia to be exact. The type of place that wouldn't be on anyone's list of desirable places to live. Now I had a mom who simply did not tolerate "street talk" in the house. She wanted me to talk like I had some sense so she stressed education and she wasn't hesitant about whipping my ass whenever I veered off that path.. Sometimes this would carry over when I was outside in the neighborhood with my friends and they would look at me like I was crazy. They accused me of "speaking white" because I had an early command of the English language. I used big words and I knew whet they meant lol Fortunately I was able to get out but I could go back to my neighborhood at any time (in fact I was there 2 weeks ago for a family funeral) and still see the same guys, sitting on the same stoop, going to the same ******* store, talking the same ******* that they were 20, 30 years ago. It's actually pretty fucking depressing. I bet there are countless black men here who could echo this same sentiment. Basically what I am saying is that by the time most of us get out and distance ourselves from "that life" we have encountered so much BS attributed to our "blackness" that it ruffles our feathers to see some white women saying that we are not as black as someone else because we don't display certain attributes. Trust me, we never lose that edge that got us through and out of that environment. We just know how to not only turn it on and off, but also how to scale it back based on a given situation. And truthfully, we don't feel the need to turn it on just for the sake of getting some pussy. Now, if you were to follow some of us back to our hometowns (which to be honest, most of the white women here would be terrified to do so), you would see just how hood we can be.

Now, as for the white women who are attracted to thugs. I don't really see it as wanting a guy who is criminally inclined or anything like that. It's really not that serious. As someone else stated, it's not really a black/white issue. Certain women have been drawn to bad boys since forever. Just look at pop culture. Think Happy Days....Richie vs the Fonz. Their parents drill into their heads that they should marry a Richie, so naturally they go in the opposite direction. It's the Fonz who excites them. He's the one who makes their pussy wet. He's the one they lust after. He is who they were forbidden to see by their parents. So when I hear white women talk about their interest in thugs, what I really hear is that they like a bad boy because chances are, their husband or they men they routinely encounter are not bad boys. When they see that black man who is successful, educated, etc, it's not that they don't see him as less black, they just don't see him as a bad boy, therefore he does very little to excite them because he is so much like the typical men she deals with. What I would like to hear more of is exactly which characteristics women find appealing in thugs. Personally I think part of it is the swagger...that "play by your own rules" type of mentality. A person who sets trends instead of follows them. A person who is confident enough in himself to know that he doesn't have to chase women. He makes them work for his attention and isn't afraid to replace them if he feels they are coming up short. He keeps her guessing, keeps her on her heels, keeps her from feeling too comfortable with her position. He keeps her working. I could be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

A the end of the day, we are all free to like what we like. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't 'do it for us'. My thought is this, I know that I'm not every woman's cup of tea. The flip side of that is that there are women out there who want to buy what I am selling. I simply choose not to waste my time on those who don't. I never take it personally.

I'm not trying to settle any disagreements here. Just trying to shed some light on where each party could be coming from so that we have a better understanding of each other. I'm sure there will be plenty of people on both sides who will disagree with what I have written. I've said my peace and I wish all of you a blessed day.
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Thanks for your input. You did bring up some good points. However, I grew up in a middle class suburb and went to a private school for half my life. My mom came from a middle class background and my dad grew up in a small poor town in the south. We've had a few people in my family get involved in some *******(the older generation) but overall, that's not us so I can't relate to the hood struggle. Most people in my family pursue higher education, especially the women. And yeah, I have been accused of "talking white" my whole life. It's annoying when some ignorant white girl, who I'm in the same grade with, same school, same teachers, and love in the same neighborhoods tell me that i'm "so well spoken". Our blackness is not defined by poverty, ability to learn and speak or crime. I'm still gonna get funny looks in white neighborhoods just like crip from the block.

Regarding the thug thing, I have zero issue with someone liking who they like. I'm a short dude and have no problem with women passing on me because i'm so short. It is what it is. What I don't like is someone who ain't one of us telling me what makes me less of a representative of my race than someone else. If we aren't thugs, can't rap, dance, sing or do anything to entertain folks, we aren't as black. Its cool to think we are lame and don't have swag, etc., but dont attack our blackness. Lots of people love to go "slumming" with black folks then when ratchet ghetto time is over, they go back to their white lives and look and talk down on black folks saying "look at these thugs". By the logic in this thread, Obama, MLK, Frederick Douglas, etc. are less black than Big Meech or something. If I said I like Asian women because they are submissive and their men are underequipped and too busy watching anime, I would totally expect an Asian woman to come for my neck(and rightfully so).

Bottom line is, fuck who you want to, but I'll be damned if i'm gonna let someone who isn't even black throw my entire race under the bus. I don't want them to change WHO they like. I want them to change their idea of what blackness is.
 
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TexasPervySage said:
Thanks for your input. You did bring up some good points. However, I grew up in a middle class suburb and went to a private school for half my life. My mom came from a middle class background and my dad grew up in a small poor town in the south. We've had a few people in my family get involved in some *******(the older generation) but overall, that's not us so I can't relate to the hood struggle. Most people in my family pursue higher education, especially the women. And yeah, I have been accused of "talking white" my whole life. It's annoying when some ignorant white girl, who I'm in the same grade with, same school, same teachers, and love in the same neighborhoods tell me that i'm "so well spoken". Our blackness is not defined by poverty, ability to learn and speak or crime. I'm still gonna get funny looks in white neighborhoods just like crip from the block.

Regarding the thug thing, I have zero issue with someone liking who they like. I'm a short dude and have no problem with women passing on me because i'm so short. It is what it is. What I don't like is someone who ain't one of us telling me what makes me less of a representative of my race than someone else. If we aren't thugs, can't rap, dance, sing or do anything to entertain folks, we aren't as black. Its cool to think we are lame and don't have swag, etc., but dont attack our blackness. Lots of people love to go "slumming" with black folks then when ratchet ghetto time is over, they go back to their white lives and look and talk down on black folks saying "look at these thugs". By the logic in this thread, Obama, MLK, Frederick Douglas, etc. are less black than Big Meech or something. If I said I like Asian women because they are submissive and their men are underequipped and too busy watching anime, I would totally expect an Asian woman to come for my neck(and rightfully so).

Bottom line is, fuck who you want to, but I'll be damned if i'm gonna let someone who isn't even black throw my entire race under the bus. I don't want them to change WHO they like. I want them to change their idea of what blackness is.
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Respect
 
TexasPervySage said:
Thanks for your input. You did bring up some good points. However, I grew up in a middle class suburb and went to a private school for half my life. My mom came from a middle class background and my dad grew up in a small poor town in the south. We've had a few people in my family get involved in some *******(the older generation) but overall, that's not us so I can't relate to the hood struggle. Most people in my family pursue higher education, especially the women. And yeah, I have been accused of "talking white" my whole life. It's annoying when some ignorant white girl, who I'm in the same grade with, same school, same teachers, and love in the same neighborhoods tell me that i'm "so well spoken". Our blackness is not defined by poverty, ability to learn and speak or crime. I'm still gonna get funny looks in white neighborhoods just like crip from the block.

Regarding the thug thing, I have zero issue with someone liking who they like. I'm a short dude and have no problem with women passing on me because i'm so short. It is what it is. What I don't like is someone who ain't one of us telling me what makes me less of a representative of my race than someone else. If we aren't thugs, can't rap, dance, sing or do anything to entertain folks, we aren't as black. Its cool to think we are lame and don't have swag, etc., but dont attack our blackness. Lots of people love to go "slumming" with black folks then when ratchet ghetto time is over, they go back to their white lives and look and talk down on black folks saying "look at these thugs". By the logic in this thread, Obama, MLK, Frederick Douglas, etc. are less black than Big Meech or something. If I said I like Asian women because they are submissive and their men are underequipped and too busy watching anime, I would totally expect an Asian woman to come for my neck(and rightfully so).

Bottom line is, fuck who you want to, but I'll be damned if i'm gonna let someone who isn't even black throw my entire race under the bus. I don't want them to change WHO they like. I want them to change their idea of what blackness is.
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Do you think your last statement is likely?
 
daydreamer3 said:
Someone posed this question in another thread, but something happened the other day that made me think about it more... I have always been more attracted to the "thug" type of black guy... kind of like Wesley Pipes in porn. LOL The guy I've been seeing for years is not THAT extreme but he does have a "thug" side to him that I find really sexy. And to me "thug" is kind of like a "bad boy." I don't mean someone who is an actual criminal-- like a ******* or murderer or anything horrible like that. I mean a guy with an "edge." One who has a "street" side to him. In other words, I'm not looking for a white guy with black skin. I'm looking for a black guy with black skin (I even prefer darker black guys over lighter ones). No offense to anyone! :oops:

So anyways, the other night I met a more "clean cut" type of black guy at an event. I thought he was cute, we made out a bit, but I wasn't fully turned on by him... Not the way I am to the more "thug" type of guy I've been seeing on and off for years! So I realized that for me, that is a BIG PART of the attraction I feel to black men. Does anyone else feel this way?
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Omg. I love a strict and very controlling Black men putting me in my place and reminding me of it in and out of the bedroom.
 
daydreamer3 said:
Someone posed this question in another thread, but something happened the other day that made me think about it more... I have always been more attracted to the "thug" type of black guy... kind of like Wesley Pipes in porn. LOL The guy I've been seeing for years is not THAT extreme but he does have a "thug" side to him that I find really sexy. And to me "thug" is kind of like a "bad boy." I don't mean someone who is an actual criminal-- like a ******* or murderer or anything horrible like that. I mean a guy with an "edge." One who has a "street" side to him. In other words, I'm not looking for a white guy with black skin. I'm looking for a black guy with black skin (I even prefer darker black guys over lighter ones). No offense to anyone! :oops:

So anyways, the other night I met a more "clean cut" type of black guy at an event. I thought he was cute, we made out a bit, but I wasn't fully turned on by him... Not the way I am to the more "thug" type of guy I've been seeing on and off for years! So I realized that for me, that is a BIG PART of the attraction I feel to black men. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
yess! i love bad boys
im really attracted to black guys with tattoos and some piercings.....
 
daydreamer3 said:
Someone posed this question in another thread, but something happened the other day that made me think about it more... I have always been more attracted to the "thug" type of black guy... kind of like Wesley Pipes in porn. LOL The guy I've been seeing for years is not THAT extreme but he does have a "thug" side to him that I find really sexy. And to me "thug" is kind of like a "bad boy." I don't mean someone who is an actual criminal-- like a ******* or murderer or anything horrible like that. I mean a guy with an "edge." One who has a "street" side to him. In other words, I'm not looking for a white guy with black skin. I'm looking for a black guy with black skin (I even prefer darker black guys over lighter ones). No offense to anyone! :oops:

So anyways, the other night I met a more "clean cut" type of black guy at an event. I thought he was cute, we made out a bit, but I wasn't fully turned on by him... Not the way I am to the more "thug" type of guy I've been seeing on and off for years! So I realized that for me, that is a BIG PART of the attraction I feel to black men. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...

It's the bad boy thing on steroids! I'm such a sucker for it.
 
daydreamer3 said:
Someone posed this question in another thread, but something happened the other day that made me think about it more... I have always been more attracted to the "thug" type of black guy... kind of like Wesley Pipes in porn. LOL The guy I've been seeing for years is not THAT extreme but he does have a "thug" side to him that I find really sexy. And to me "thug" is kind of like a "bad boy." I don't mean someone who is an actual criminal-- like a ******* or murderer or anything horrible like that. I mean a guy with an "edge." One who has a "street" side to him. In other words, I'm not looking for a white guy with black skin. I'm looking for a black guy with black skin (I even prefer darker black guys over lighter ones). No offense to anyone! :oops:

So anyways, the other night I met a more "clean cut" type of black guy at an event. I thought he was cute, we made out a bit, but I wasn't fully turned on by him... Not the way I am to the more "thug" type of guy I've been seeing on and off for years! So I realized that for me, that is a BIG PART of the attraction I feel to black men. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
Definitely agree. Thug-alpha types are it.
 
daydreamer3 said:
Someone posed this question in another thread, but something happened the other day that made me think about it more... I have always been more attracted to the "thug" type of black guy... kind of like Wesley Pipes in porn. LOL The guy I've been seeing for years is not THAT extreme but he does have a "thug" side to him that I find really sexy. And to me "thug" is kind of like a "bad boy." I don't mean someone who is an actual criminal-- like a ******* or murderer or anything horrible like that. I mean a guy with an "edge." One who has a "street" side to him. In other words, I'm not looking for a white guy with black skin. I'm looking for a black guy with black skin (I even prefer darker black guys over lighter ones). No offense to anyone! :oops:

So anyways, the other night I met a more "clean cut" type of black guy at an event. I thought he was cute, we made out a bit, but I wasn't fully turned on by him... Not the way I am to the more "thug" type of guy I've been seeing on and off for years! So I realized that for me, that is a BIG PART of the attraction I feel to black men. Does anyone else feel this way?
Click to expand...
I'm everything you looking for
 
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