Chapter Two: Master the Three Way Relationship
As mentioned in the first chapter, the Bull/Wife/Cuckold relationship is a three way relationship. Your goal is to master the details of this relationship and then become the Master Of The Relationship.
Most men think of getting be be a Bull means that you get to fuck another guys wife...that's it. "I just want to fuck a guy's wife, I can forget about the husband." Wrong. Fail. Go back to start or stay in the fantasy mode, pulling on your own dick. Or, go back to the clingy 20-something airheads and drama queens; enjoy the feeling of being some rich libby gal's token trophy Black bed partner house-boy. If you are interested an a more fulfilling and high quality sex life, then read on and take notes. This chapter covers the most important stuff, the foundation of a Bull's relationship in this experience.
So, as a Bull/Wife/Cuckold relationship is a Three Way Relationship, it is by very nature more complex than the single relationship. Even if the Wife you are with is cheating on her husband, he is still there in the background, in her marital bed and in her marital head. I will devote a special chapter to 'The Cheating Wife", but for now we will stick to the basic Bull/Wife/Cuckold relationship; most of the rules carry over to Cheating Wife.
You must realize and understand, straight up, that you are entering the domain of an established Wife-Husband relationship. Before you answer the online request, before you make that first phone call, before the first vidchat, before you show up at their door, the Wife and Husband have already talked through what they want and expect out of the relationship with You. They expect You to fill a role, provide a service and be a part of an experience. That is why they have reached out to someone with your attributes.
Therefore, your first, and probably most important task, is to find out exactly what they want and FIT INTO that role. Understanding is the key to Mastery.
The Prize comes when you master your role and then evolve it to fulfill Your desires. Patience and skill here will reap rewards that will continue to return on the time you have invested.
FIELD NOTES:
You must follow a certain protocol to become involved with this new three-way relationship. One word of advice: no matter what you expect the relationship to become later, during the first meeting or two you should be a complete gentleman. Until you get some signal from the couple you should NOT initiate anything sexual or act as anything other than a complete gentleman. Even if things should progress into the bedroom during the second (or even first) meeting, you should progress slowly and not overwhelm them.
The perfect relationship WILL NOT happen instantly. It takes an investment of time by everyone, including you. Like any sexual relationship, learning the needs and desires of the other person is a process. As you learn the couple, and they learn you, the relationship becomes more comfortable and the sex gets better. Eventually it will become what you/they envision, but only if everyone works together.
PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS:
Now, let’s start with “what everyone wants”. There are many variations of cuckold/Hotwife play. Communication is key to getting a clear picture of the desired relationship. There are many studies and theories as to the motivations for the Hotwife-cuckold lifestyle among otherwise monogamous couples. You may want to read up on it, to become better educated about why she wants to fuck someone else and why he wants her to do so. It is both fascinating and erotic reading. The better educated you are the better your experience can be.
The most common underlying theme for most Hotwife/cuckold couples is for the Bull to
become the sex partner of choice for the wife. It is this sort of relationship that I personally recommend that you pursue as it leads to the most rewards for you, the Bull. This can range from seeing the wife occasionally, all the way up to daily sexual encounters. Every couple has a different idea; it’s important to know what their expectations are. In addition, “real life” can and does often restrict or interfere with the scheduling of play times.
As a Bull, it’s important to realize that you’re dealing with a married couple with job(s), a family, social obligations, perhaps children, etc. There will be times when play will need to be canceled or postponed because of the realities of life. You should always be sensitive to that, and never become angry about last minute changes, cancellations, etc. Be understanding about these setbacks and you’ll be rewarded with a more appreciative and willing wife!
Once you establish everyone’s expectations about frequency, another thing to discuss is how the meetings are arranged. Some prefer regular schedules, i.e. every Saturday night for instance. Others like more flexibility, and even spontaneous meetings. Some of the hottest experiences I’ve been involved with have been spontaneous texts that resulted in late-night, last minute encounters (Horny? Can you come over? Or can I come see you?). If this spontaneous encounter is your thing, then tell the couple up front that you are 'okay' if she wants to hook up with you on short notice. (notice that I said that you should make it clear to Her? This is one area where you begin to assert your dominant role over the husband.)
It’s important to know what the couple enjoys. If they’re into the wife having the freedom to reach out to the Bull when she’s horny, or if you all agree that she’s “sexually on demand” to the Bull, then you can enjoy impromptu daytime, lunchtime, or late-night quickies. Yes, there are the occasional couples that will immediately agree to and expect from you, a sexually dominant role. Play into that fantasy and make it become your reality with the wife. Talk it over with them, see if they are open to it, see if it excites her and her husband to know that you may, on a whim, call and demand sex from the wife.
Many couples enjoy some level of sexual denial for the husband. Some enjoy limiting intercourse between themselves for several days before the wife plans to meet with the Bull. Others go so far as limiting the husband to handjobs, blowjobs, etc., during the entire time that the wife is seeing another man. This can be a fun area for the Bull to participate. Perhaps demand that the wife refrain from fucking her husband before their dates for a set number of days. As the Bull, you may even get enjoyment from voicing your demands to the husband in the wife’s presence (i.e., I don’t want you fucking her until I do her Friday night). But, as stated earlier, this is an advanced technique, not to be used or discussed in the early encounters with the couple.
The idea of the Bull becoming the sole sexual partner of the wife can be fun to explore, and it’s a core theme in almost all Hotwife-cuckold relationships, with many choosing for the Bull to become her sole “intercourse” partner.
Another area to discuss upfront is your communication with the wife. Some couples prefer that the husband coordinate meetings between his wife and the Bull. Other husband’s grant their wife complete freedom, and she can call, email, text, etc. These are by far the easiest and hottest arrangements, as you can tease, flirt and engage the wife 1-on-1 with complete privacy.
Next you should discuss what the couple expects when it comes to you being alone with the wife. Some couples only play together. This can range from MFM threesomes, to the cuckold husband merely being present and watching. Other couples prefer that the husband be on the premises, but not necessarily in the same room, such as waiting in the living room or in the guest bedroom, perhaps listening in, etc. Respect that if they request it. This is part of the Three Way Relationship.
Then again, many couples enjoy the wife going out alone on “dates” with the Bull. Realistically, most “dates” consist of the wife merely visiting the Bull at his home or a hotel for a sexual encounter. It’s not uncommon for the husband to help the wife prepare for her dates, often helping her bathe, do her hair, shave her legs and pussy, pick out sexy clothes and help her dress. Some Bulls take advantage of this by contacting the husband before the date and dictating what he wants the wife to wear for the date, and the husband will select/purchase those items for his wife.
I intend to devote an entire chapter on 'Rituals In The Relationship' to expand on this theme. In my experience, all successful relationships like this have rituals at their core.
Personal Field Note: I have demanded of all wives who wish to have sex with me to shave their pubic hair, usually completely. Three reasons. First, I tell them that I will give them oral sexual pleasure, and longer pleasure if they are completely bare. Second, this is a physical sign, modification to the wife's body that signifies to the married couple that I have requested this, the wife must comply and the husband must accept. Third, I request that the husband help in the shaving of the Wife. He becomes actively involved in the modification of Her for Me. Everyone knows, everyone participates in this three way process. End digression.
Some Hotwife-Bulls will call the husband while having sex and let him listen in, or videotape themselves having sex so the wife can show it to the cuckold-husband later. In recent years some have turned to Skype, webcasting and other internet based products to share their acts with the husband watching in real time or close to it with smart phone pictures before and after the sexual 'event'. Don't be afraid to bring this aspect up and explore it with them. Pictures--convey 1000 words.
There is a certain excitement that can result from the Bull taking the wife out in public for dinner or a movie, etc. This can be a wise move by a smart Bull, as it not only starts the relationship off in a more traditional manner, but there is also some risk of the wife being seen in public with a strange man. While this may feel uncomfortable for the wife, she will also feel “naughty” and find it exciting nonetheless, which can lead to heightened sexual response later in the evening. This also shows that the wife is sufficiently attracted to the Bull that she will go outside her comfort zone and “take chances” to be with him. This is a good sign. The Bull will be able to push the wife in other areas as well, perhaps persuading her to do things that she may not do with her husband (semi-publix sex, visit a swing club, threesome with another male/bifemale, etc.). Pick up on those clues.
However, this brings up the
issue of privacy and discretion.
You must ALWAYS respect a married couple's rules on privacy and discretion in the relationship. Break their rules and you are out, at least in the early stages. Rules need to be established for all three of you, at the start.
Husbands have been known to post vids of their wives on the internet without the wife's consent or knowledge. The usual result is divorce in that instance. Bull's who are sloppy and break the couple's privacy rules are usually finished. Break their privacy rules intentionally and you will be out, they will tell their swinger friends and you will never be welcome around any other couple.
They may request that, as a condition of bringing you into their home, you duck down below the seat of the car until the car is in their garage and the door closed. I have seen this happen personally. They have busy-body neighbors and don't want gossip about 'the Black man in the car late at night' traveling around the neighborhood. Just comply.
If the wife goes to your apartment or door to your house, she may want you to greet her as though she's there in some capacity other than your fuck buddy. She could be your 'real estate agent', or 'nurse' or whatever you two make up. Do it. If she wants to leave your home very early in the morning, before your nosey neighbors see her leaving your home after an overnight---let her leave without mentioning a thing. Her privacy is to be respected and the Couple's private lives are their business---keep it that way.
Ah, the Overnight'er
Some couples enjoy overnight encounters. However, this is more common with couples that have already experienced some Hotwife-cuckold play in the past, and is probably not something newer couples would find appealing. However, if it is a possibility, it’s important to discuss those details too. There are many possibilities here, including the wife spending the night at the Bull’s home, the Bull spending the night at the couple’s home, or even an overnight hotel stay. Some also enjoy the wife and Bull going together for out-of-town trips, short cruises, etc.
In those instances where the Bull stays at the couple’s home, there are variations. Will the Bull and wife sleep in the guest room, or in the master bedroom? There is often significance to the wife’s “infidelity” and the marital bed, and the Bull should be sensitive to that.
Some couples limit the wife’s sexual play to places other than the marital bed, i.e. the marital bed is sacred and only for them. Other couples derive additional pleasure from the wife “cheating” in their marital bed, and playing there can be even more exciting for them. You should discuss this ahead of time.
Also, when spending the night it’s important to be clear about the expectations for the husband. Will he be present all night? Will he be present only during the sex, then go sleep in a separate bedroom? The couple often already has an idea of what they would prefer here, so you should find out.
Personal Field Note: I enjoy giving the husband the order, usually phrased as a strong suggestion, that he be the one up early to make us all breakfast in the morning. This transfers him to the role of servant. It is a subtle but powerful example to all of my growing dominant position. At the breakfast table, sit close to the wife, your arm around her, your black chest exposed shirtless, as the husband serves the two of you your breakfast. Almost better than the....well....
Decide what other places/variations you all might enjoy. Some couples fantasize about the wife and Bull having sex in the backseat of a car or a semi-public spot. Some cuckold husbands enjoy the thought of coming home from work to find their wife in bed with the Bull, or knowing the Bull was at his house fucking their wife while they were at the office. Multiple partners, videotaping sexual encounters, outdoor sex, etc., can all enhance the experiences to be shared.
Assorted Issues:
Bear in mind that most Hotwife-cuckold couples also focus on the Bull being “well-hung”, or at least being better hung than the husband. Ironically this is not something to be avoided around the husband, but instead should be openly discussed as a point of excitement (she NEEDS a bigger cock and he LOVES knowing she needs it). Hopefully, as the Bull, you are better endowed than the husband. However, if not, it’s still possible to build the desired relationship since much of it has to do with the Bull’s attitude and manner. If sufficiently assertive and dominant, most any Bull can still pull it off no matter what his endowment. GAME.
The age of the Bull is an area of some debate. Because most couples are seeking a Bull for the wife’s sexual pleasure, they prefer someone with a high sex drive and good stamina. Obviously this is more common in younger men. However, some women find it difficult to be sexually attracted to men significantly younger than they are. As a general rule I find that most couples prefer a Bull to be several years younger than the husband, but not so young as to have insufficient experience to sexually please a mature, married woman. Confidence, demeanor and a good attitude round it out. Don't try to overpower the Couple Relationship here, just reshape it around your being the sexually dominant one.
Verbal Play:
Verbal play can also be critical, with both the wife and the Bull engaging in some level of interaction with the husband. Experienced Bulls enjoy telling the husband how enjoyable their wife is in bed, in a teasing, taunting manner. Common things to say might include: Your wife has a sweet pussy; She loves my big dick; She sucks cock great; I’m going to fill her with my cum; This pussy is going to be mine; Your wife is such a slut, etc.
The wife can also participate, working together with the Bull to stimulate her husband, saying things like: His cock is bigger than yours; He fucks me much better; I want him to cum in me; Do you like seeing me like this?; I’m going to fuck him more than you; He’s stretching my pussy out; etc.
Sexual Intercourse:
This one is so huge that it's going to have its own chapter. Suffice to say that understanding couples needs and desires are critical. Discuss them. Respect them, at first. Ask what form of birth control they use, what they want you to use (it's condoms nearly 100% of the time so accept that you will be wrapped for the first several sessions)
Take the initiative in proving to the couple that you are 'clean'. Show them a clean bill of health, even if they don't ask for one. This is your task, do it and get it over with quickly to put them at ease with you. All three of you will be playing in the same pool, yeah? They want it all clean, as should you.
The Sperm, Yours and His:
There is no other way to say it; this is about The Sperm. Your sperm is your calling card, spread it everywhere-the deeper the better. His sperm, your goal is to minimize that as much as possible and, if possible/willingness, eliminate it all from the relationship. (I will have a chapter devoted to guiding you through the process of getting hubby to willingly get the 'snip-snip' procedure that will disconnect his balls. I have had three hubbys go though it 'for the relationship' so I have field experience)
If you are at the age where you have had a vasectomy, in no way ever are you to tell the wife/husband. For them, there is risk in you in their relationship, on many levels. Your sperm is a major risk and a major part of the excitement. Reveal that you shoot blanks and you will probably never hear from them again.
As I mentioned, your sperm is your calling card in the relationship. To be sure, your sperm excites the hubby as much as the wife. He will smell it on her when she returns to her home after being with you. He will smell it, see it and possibly taste it when he makes love to her after she has been with you. He might find her panties covered in it after she drops her panties near the washing machine. Your sperm will drive him crazy and that's okay with him.
Your sperm will scare the heck out of the wife, and that's okay with her. You sperm, you seed, is a contaminate, in her mind, in the relationship with her husband. For many years, perhaps exclusive until now, her pussy has been the right of her husband to inseminate. You are here to break that exclusive right and she knows this. It scares and excites her at the same time. Perhaps she has born her husband children, perhaps children are in their future. Your sperm could take root where it should not. It is a frightening and exciting thought that is always present in the back of her mind. Exploit this to your advantage.
Here is where your relationship with the hubby pays off. Most wives will NOT want you to cum inside of them bareback. Simple truth. Most husbands will want/expect the Bull to cum in their wives. Also a simple truth. Use this to your advantage. Talk to him about it. Invite him to the bar and discuss it over a few beers, take him fishing and bring it up, find a way to be alone with him and discuss getting his wife to accept you cuming in her. Your task is to have him convince his wife to accept your sperm. (yes, this is complex, chapter devoted to it too)
Remember: All Relationships Evolve Over Time
After discussing all of the above important issues, you should have a good idea whether or not your desires and those of the couple are a good match. If they are, then what you need to do is craft a plan that has one important goal:
You must become the Alpha Male in the relationship.
All social mammals have Alpha Males. They are the fastest, strongest and/or smartest males in the pack. Females are instinctively drawn to the Alpha Male because they have the best genetic material. Human females are no different. If two men are in her life, a woman will instinctively become more attracted to the Alpha Male.
When you come into the relationship, remember that you are altering an existing bond between two people. There is an emotional bond and a sexual bond. You don’t EVER want to do anything that interferes or hurts the emotional bond. If you do, both the husband and the wife will react negatively. In fact the strong emotional bond is required to give them the comfort to include a third person in their relationship. If you weaken their emotional bond then insecurities and jealousy will emerge and ruin everything. NEVER ever make a play for the wife as anything other than a sex partner. If you do then everything will come to an end.
However, their sexual bond is entirely different. Not only CAN you break that bond, you MUST break it. Breaking their sexual bond and then bonding sexually with the wife is your goal. When it comes to sex, you want her to think of you.
When you first meet the couple, know that the wife loves her husband and looks to him for sex. If you do everything right, in time she will still love him but--------- she will LUST FOR YOU if she begins to view you as the Alpha Male.
Becoming the Alpha Male in the wife’s eye is easy, but only if you follow a certain path.
This chapter has been long, but necessary as it forms the foundation.
Many of the topics touched on will be addressed in their own chapters.
The next chapter---The Path to Alpha