Hubby left earlier than usual to meet with someone to look at a job.
There's a mood over me that's a bit serious,maybe too much so for here. But,I've written things here as a form of therapy before,so why not?
I'm not depressed or anything of the sorts. In fact I feel rather good,,,,,just in a mood for pondering about myself,what's important or not,questioning my purpose,my being.
Why? Why what,one might ask. Why do I do what I do? I think I know the answer,and it's really not complicated,at least not from my perspective. I'll try to explain in the simplest way possible.
As anyone who's sexually adventurous can tell you,all activity that's fun and satisfying is good,and fulfilling.(pun noted)
Where I might be different than some others is that there's a dependency aspect to my having sex with multiple men and sometimes groups of men. It became a factor with Curt and the crew. It happened again in Germany,and probably again after we came back stateside,but to a lesser degree. And now,it's happening again. In all of those situations,some guys came and went without much thought. Yep,...Bam! That was good! Thanks and Goodbye. But,also in each of those situations,there were several guys for whom I became their sole source of sex. From my perspective,it's a meaningful relationship,and albeit temporary,it's not unimportant. It's mutually beneficial for them and for me,as it satisfies a basic need. Whoring really is important. Someone needs to do it,so it may as well be me.
There's a mood over me that's a bit serious,maybe too much so for here. But,I've written things here as a form of therapy before,so why not?
I'm not depressed or anything of the sorts. In fact I feel rather good,,,,,just in a mood for pondering about myself,what's important or not,questioning my purpose,my being.
Why? Why what,one might ask. Why do I do what I do? I think I know the answer,and it's really not complicated,at least not from my perspective. I'll try to explain in the simplest way possible.
As anyone who's sexually adventurous can tell you,all activity that's fun and satisfying is good,and fulfilling.(pun noted)
Where I might be different than some others is that there's a dependency aspect to my having sex with multiple men and sometimes groups of men. It became a factor with Curt and the crew. It happened again in Germany,and probably again after we came back stateside,but to a lesser degree. And now,it's happening again. In all of those situations,some guys came and went without much thought. Yep,...Bam! That was good! Thanks and Goodbye. But,also in each of those situations,there were several guys for whom I became their sole source of sex. From my perspective,it's a meaningful relationship,and albeit temporary,it's not unimportant. It's mutually beneficial for them and for me,as it satisfies a basic need. Whoring really is important. Someone needs to do it,so it may as well be me.