I think many people on here just don’t get it. A number of us have sexually repressed wives who have had it beat into their brains since they were little girls that exploring or even embracing their sexual needs and desires is not what good girls/women/wives and certainly not mothers, DO. That indoctrination comes from society at large, Madison ave., parents and especially religious teachings.
Many will go their entire lives not taking agency over their true sexual selves and it’s sad. Some break that mold but only after some compelling event (divorce, cheating spouse, slip up “under the influence,” another man flirting/hitting on her rekindling desires and needs she may have buried or forgotten about).
What I and others know is that if we approach our wives about non-vanilla wants/needs and they are asked or expected to take agency over the decision to accept or reject that activity, their indoctrination/training kicks in and the answer will be 100% “no way!”
But I know for my wife, especially because one of her big hang ups is she has poor body image (she shouldn’t, trust me) and she doesn’t think other men find her attractive, if we were away from home for a weekend, she had a couple adult beverages on board, and a good looking black guy flirted/hit on her, the odds of her taking the leap would go way up. This is the case because:
- When we are away from home she is freer, less stressed, much more adventurous and far hornier.
- She has known about my fantasy and how insanely it turns me on since well before we got married.
- Again, she doesn’t believe she is attractive and other men find her sexy (doesn’t help that she wears her wedding ring, doesn’t dress slutty, doesn’t go to bars and clubs, and she’s shy)
- A guy coming on to her is FAR different than her being asked to own and take proactive agency over a non vanilla sexual choice. It allows her to have cognitive “wiggle room” to say to herself or others if the situation came to light, “well this was an unusual situation, I had a few drinks, this younger good looking guy was coming on to me, we were on vacation, I let my guard down….. stuff happened. Normally I would NEVER do this but….”
My belief, which I think it supported by numerous anecdotal accounts on here regarding how wives got started in the lifestyle, they try something like this (fucking a well hung black guy with their husband’s approval and usually prompting), they get a lot of pleasure, excitement, satisfaction, etc. nothing bad happens in their relationship with their husband (quite the opposite many times), they aren’t struck by lightening, their ki-ds and other family members are totally unaware what went down, they feel sexy, desired, confident, self assured….. and they say, let’s keep it going.
At the end of the day, this would be about me creating opportunities for my wife to make a decision. No pressure, no telling the guy, “oh she’s a sure thing, totally will go for it.” Truth is I just don’t know. Assuming the guy is cool and polite, worst case scenario is she politely declines his overtures if they are unmistakable (if it was just sexy flirting there wouldn’t be anything to decline) and she would fuck me senseless later. That’s worst case.
If it were to come out that I arranged it, there would be bitching from her at me for a week plus, and she would never, ever believe a man coming on to her in the future was real and not a set up. If I were to find the right guy I think it’s worth the effort.