The "black girl" confrontation and Dealing with racial tension.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Mrs.InCharge, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. Mrs.InCharge

    Mrs.InCharge Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    Hello all,

    I want to be as delicate as possible with this but I think it's a very real issue and has happened to me personally not but three years ago.

    Your really into your bull. He takes you out to the club to show you off. You notice a few women throwing shade but you ignore it.

    Then, in the ladies room, four black women verbally and physically assault you for "stealing their men" and "being hoe"

    My question is:
    What advice would you give a younger white girl who's in this situation?

    Sincerely,
    Sara
     
  2. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    This has happened to me a while ago and I wrote about it on here. I was in a club and being chatted up by younger black guys. I genuinely didnt think anyone would take offence. Then a black girl came over and got a bit aggressive, calling me names etc. I was a bit shocked if anything.
    I just talked my way out of it and got friendly with the girl. She had a couple of tattoos and i showed her mine so got talking about that. Only problem was then she got really 'friendly' with me and stayed with me for the rest of the evening, as we drank more she even kissed me several times and i was too nervous to not respond.
    At the end of the night she had her arm round me as we left the club together. Then her boyfriend turned up so we kissed and parted. I still dont know what would have happened if the boyfriend hadnt turned up!
    Dont know if this helps, but be friendly and nice, hopefully all ends well! X
     
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  3. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Generally, I would say walk away from any potential confrontation, especially if you are outnumbered.

    However, if that isn't to your satisfaction, think of something witty or sarcastic to come back with the next time this happens.
     
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  4. Splitter

    Splitter Active Member

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    Being able to disarm threats and protect yourself is a life skill. As an adult, this is something that could have been learned in high school.

    Maybe it's different for white women, but as a Black male I have learned to be aware wherever I go. Not guarded, but aware. Know your surroundings. I don't naively stroll into anywhere; if there are people I am noticing them and checking out their energy.

    Strong body language and confidence. Speak slowly but firmly, with relaxed eye contact. Avoid raising your voice and accusatory framing of sentences.
     
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  5. Mrs.InCharge

    Mrs.InCharge Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    Great advice from everyone. My experience was an eye opening situation. I mitigated the situation but I've seen it happen to others and wanted to offer the question. I did not know it had already been covered
     
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  6. Ginger_69

    Ginger_69 Active Member

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    I have been in this situation a few times as well. I just walk away and in most cases the black men have stepped in and backed them down.
     
  7. TexasCuck214

    TexasCuck214 Active Member

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    People can be stupid, but I have seen the opposite opinion from black girls. I overheard some black girls talking with whites and latinas, and they ask them if they ever been with black guys. They are almost offended if the white girl says no, and they seem really happy when if they learn that the girl went black before.

    One time I was trying to talk with a sexy latina that I met downtown. In the middle of me talking with her, this black lady (who was with her black male friend) walked up to her and asked her if she liked black guys. It was kind of a ghetto and awkward situation for all, and neither one of us ended up getting her number :(
     
  8. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    It's ok, perhaps some people didn't know that it had already been a topic, and it's good to get more people involved in a dialogue when they have something of value to contribute.
     
  9. Ann4BBC

    Ann4BBC Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Apologies! When i said i had already wrote about this i meant when someone had asked me if i had considered going with black lesbian ladies and i answered this was the closest i had come to it! So i dont think there is another thread like this! XX
     
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  10. Mrs.InCharge

    Mrs.InCharge Well-Known Member Gold Member

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    Oh ok. : ) I'm so new I don't want to cover others paths lol
     
  11. bigblackbull76

    bigblackbull76 My BBC would bodyslam KingKong off top the Empire Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

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    @Mrs.InCharge - thank you so very much for starting off this thread. This is something that should be addressed and discussed in a general forum topic for all especially those new to Interracial dating or for those who have not yet faced these challenges but one day may be confronted by other ignorant, intolerant, hateful, and bigoted people.

    I have dated many white/asian and other women who were non-black and I have felt the laser-beams coming from Black women's eyes almost burn a hole in the back of my head many times before when they would see me. I have been in bars, and other settings where I was the only black guy or maybe 1 of 2 with white women also and had eyes all stare. I am very secure and confident in my own skin, I've traveled the world been to dangerous places, and I feel like I can handle my own anywhere and nothing really bothers me but @Splitter and my brutha @bm_from_southjersey have provided good advice in being conscious of your surroundings and make an exit to avoid unnecessary confrontation when possible if outnumbered. Sometimes to make a scene is not necessarily the right thing to do especially if it is going to lead to physical harm.

    I've been a practitioner of the martial arts (Akido, Thai-boxing, and Jeet Kun-do) so I'm not prone to run from a fight as I feel confident I can handle myself physically and I've sparred in a few Mixed martial arts matches as well. But one thing Bruce Lee (the founder of Jeet Kun-do) said that has always stuck in the back of my head about the first move in any fight was this "take a step back and run if you can".

    Yep, thats right Bruce Lee said the first step in any fight was to take a step back, and this is something in most of the moral Kung-fu movies like the Shaolin Temple, 36 Chambers, The Legend of Fung-Sai Yuk, etc. is to always avoid fighting when possible. Even the Art of War espouses as a major tenet "Know your enemy...", and "For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill."

    The Art of War is also about deception and you feign weakness to your opponent even though you are strong to throw them off, but in this case you are the bigger and stronger person to ignore their racist behavior and not feed into it emotionally nor give them the pleasure of making you feel any less of a human. The person who can avoid being argumentive and fighting is really the bigger and stronger person as it takes alot to hold back your anger when you are ready to throw punches and go toe to toe blow for blow with someone.

    So enough of me blabbering on and on for now, check out these amazing videos that may be of some help too on combating racial tension with Interracial relationships.

    This first one was pretty good and look how other black people stepped in to confront the biggotry and hatred they witnessed occurring. I like how the last black guy and black lady handled the situations. They said some really beautiful things that should soften anyone's hearts that are hard with hatred.



    Ok another good one, a black guy, white girl meeting the white girl's parents who are racist and I love how the one white guy got up and defended the black kid saying "I don't know this kid but I'm not going to sit here and listen to you make racial slurs at him". Great and inspiring stuff that gives me hope about humanity still:



    Now in the last video I don't necessarily agree with what the black guy did and I personally would not have shaken nor hugged the white lady and told her that her mind-state was old, backward thinking and racist and has no place in our day and age of integration and I'm glad old people who think like her (both black and white) are dying off with those old mentality of race separation. But that's just me.

    I watch a few videos from my bro here Tyrone Magnus whom is a funny guy and here is one when he was dating a white women addressing a letter written to them about Parents breaking up a white girl's relationship with her black boyfriend. The mudshark lover line got me laughing too:
     
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