The first time I got fucked in the ass it was quite chaotic to say the least.
I was 19 years old and he was about 35 years old. We had been talking for a week on Tinder, I was very curious and eager to try a BBC for the first time, and I have always had a bit of a fetish with the age gap.
I wasn't sexually new or anything, I had my experience, but I was excited because this was going to be a good jump.
During the dirty talk we both said a lot of dirty things, and to be honest I mentioned that he could do "whatever he wanted" with me.
The long-awaited date finally arrived, I was already with my boyfriend, so he told me to be careful, call him for anything and all that.
I met this man, he picked me up in his car, and we went directly to the motel. The first round was absolutely incredible, more than I imagined and I felt like I was in heaven. There we were naked catching our breath and I was basically stroking his cock waiting for the next round.
We started with a blowjob, a little 69, and then he put me on all fours, knees on the carpet, half of my body on the bed face down.He was eating my ass quite a bit, I was in an incredible lustful stupor so I didn't pay attention to anything that was happening back there. So I didn't realize at what point he lubricated his cock liberally.
He put his hands firmly on my shoulder blades with all his weight on top of me and penetrated my ass basically just by aiming and using his hips, HARD.
I screamed like a bitch so loud that I hurt my throat, I squirmed and kicked like crazy. The pain was simply indescribable, fucking overwhelming and absolute, as he lay on my back, moaned in my ear and rubbed his balls against my ass with his entire cock inside.
He penetrated me hard, slowly but completely, falling on top of me and clapping my ass outrageously, I screamed and when I could finally speak I hysterically told him to stop. He just calmly told me to "stop struggling his cock with my ass" so it would hurt less and he didn't stop.
He increased the speed a little and luckily it didn't last much longer, maybe 5 minutes, while I tried to resist, clutching the sheets like crazy, biting the pillow and screaming.
There are several notes here. When I have discussed the matter, some people have wanted to tell me how I should have handled the situation. Many tell me that I should have taken off with ******* so that at least he would miss his aim and perhaps stop discouraged. But those people have never had something like THAT shoved up their ass with that *******, I was paralyzed with pain, my whole body was tense and I could barely move, I kicked and writhed, but I wasn't doing any of that voluntarily, it was just my body responding violently in spasms, I couldn't do anything but scream and wait for it to end. That's why you see these "painal" videos with girls screaming hysterically on all fours and they won't get off, they can't, I've been there. The body becomes tense, all the muscles tense, It's like a cramp that doesn't allow you to move. You are also thinking a thousand things and you don't react because the pain doesn't let you think clearly, you just want it to end.
He cums inside my ass moaning in my ear and telling me how wonderful I am and how delicious that had been. I was in fucking pain and hysterical, but I wasn't scared, nor did I feel "abus-ed", a lot of people have tried to tell me how I "should" feel, but I know what I felt.
Obviously I was furious with him. But he was so calm that it made me think that maybe I overreacted. He simply told me to calm down, that the pain would go away, that he loved it and he would make it up to me with the next rounds. He also mentioned that I mentioned that he could do whatever he wanted with me and that he thought I was completely serious, so he did it.
I stayed and the next 2 rounds were good, although I didn't feel as comfortable anymore. I saw him several more times and each time he did the same thing once per night, but I got a little used to it, I liked him a lot and I think that's why I put up with it.
To this day I don't know if it was right or wrong, I think it's more complex than just "it was wrong." To be fair, I never asked him out of bed not to do it again, but maybe out of fear of losing him and maybe he knew it and took advantage of it. Also to be fair he just lost control when he did it and I also know what it's like to be that horny and not be able to stop.
What I do know is that I'm not traumatized or anything, I just think he was a bit of an idiot for taking advantage and I for allowing it without being more firm.
Some other black guys have done it without asking me or stopping when I tell them to do it, but I won't deny that I get a little excited when they do it.
It is complex and with many grays, with sex it is often like that.
