How to talk with wife?

[zhili]

Question for women only. I want to know your opinion on what the first conversation with your boyfriend/fiance/husband should look like about changing your lifestyle or trying sex with another man. What is/was important to you in such a conversation? What did you pay attention to, what encouraged you and what rejected you? Just... What should a proper conversation with your partner look like on this topic?

 

[MarianayRamon]

My name is Mariana (40) married and adulterous with the complicity of my husband.

My post is more directed to men who want to experience the cuckold or Stag and Vixen culture, and do not know how to approach the subject with their wives.
The most important thing is that in the couple there is good dialogue and a lot of trust.
If this is not the case, it is necessary to work a lot on these two keys because nothing can be undertaken without dialogue and trust.
Something important to understand is that the cuckold culture is not recommended for marriages or couples in crisis.
If the relationship is in crisis, sexual openness will not solve the crisis but will aggravate it.
STEP 1
Every husband should wait for the right moment to ask his wife if she believes adultery can negatively affect a relationship or marriage.
Surely she will answer that she is indeed convinced that adultery ruins a marriage or partnership.
No doubt she will answer that to be politically correct, even if she is not convinced.
The husband should then tell her that he does not believe that adultery affects the marriage, -when there is love-.
And then take the opportunity to tell his wife that he "loves her so much that if she slept with someone else, HE WOULD STILL LOVE HER" and even "love her even more...".
It is convenient not to insist too much on that point so as not to irritate the woman, so after the previous step we will move on to the step called "without words" but with gestures and attitudes.
STEP 2
This other step consists of the husband buying sexy clothes for his wife or encouraging her to buy and wear sexy clothes.
At first the wife may feel a little shy about wearing sexy clothes, but if the husband starts to be more and more affectionate and sweet when his wife wears sexy clothes, little by little she will understand that wearing sexy clothes is a good way to get her husband to behave more affectionately and she will understand that it is WORTH IT.
STEP 3
The third step will be to get the wife to start paying more attention to her body.
To do this, the husband should suggest to his wife that it would be a good idea for BOTH of them to start going to a gym to keep fit and HEALTHY.
It is important that husband and wife go to the gym TOGETHER, so that he can encourage his wife's progress when the effects of the exercise begin to take effect in her body.
It is important that the husband's constant loving attitude will encourage his wife to please him.
STEP 4
The fourth step will begin when the husband starts telling his wife that he is noticing that men are looking at her with desire.
And that this does not displease him because, if this is happening, it is because she is beautiful and desirable.
The husband should make it clear that he is happy to have a wife, beautiful and desirable and that his main "reward" is to notice how other men desire her.
Even with all this "warming up", the wife may still not be very willing to take the "step" of yielding to the siege of some man interested in taking her to bed.
At that point the husband should go back to STEP 1 and reassure her that if she sleeps with someone else it will not affect her husband's love for her.
Then go back to STEP 2 and insist on the use of sexy clothes on the wife, and double the bet by looking for even more daring "outfits" than the ones used at the beginning.
In the same way, repeating step 3 will mean that the wife will dare to use the gym as a "showcase" to show the effects of gymnastics on her body.
For that the husband should look for her to wear leggings in the gym that highlight her attributes.
The repetition of the fourth step should already include comments from the husband that there is some guy who looks at the wife with desire.
And it is very important that the husband makes it clear that this does not bother him and does not make him jealous.
It is important that at this point the husband dedicates himself to banish from his wife the idea that JEALOUSNESS IS A SIGN OF "LOVE."
I say this because that is a widespread idea among women, and many interpret that a husband who is not jealous, means that he does not love her.
So with words and attitudes the husband must demonstrate to his wife that the fact that he does not show jealousy over his wife does not mean that he does not love her.
As you see, this is a repetitive and ROTATIVE process so as not to saturate the woman who needs REPROGRAMMING.
consists of going back to step 1 each time step 4 is reached, but always doubling the stakes
A visit of the couple to the nudist beach, and some incursion of both by a sex shop would be an optimal complement for this process.

 

[danum99]

Question for women only. I want to know your opinion on what the first conversation with your boyfriend/fiance/husband should look like about changing your lifestyle or trying sex with another man. What is/was important to you in such a conversation? What did you pay attention to, what encouraged you and what rejected you? Just... What should a proper conversation with your partner look like on this topic?

hi there,
i'm dan. half of an asian couple living in malaysia. im a cuck myself and i thought i would try and help you out, fulfilling your dreams of cuckolding.

the impt question is whether she is able to fantasise. this is never an easy question to answer as it involves many factors. most impt of which is whether she IS ABLE to at the very least, fantasise with you about being a hotwife. THIS IS KEY.

if she has not, then it is a harder hill to climb.

1. there are some things that you must first learn - patience and persistence. these are your tools to help you achieve this.

2. never push her. you must be very very patient in getting your fantasy to be a reality. always let her think she is in control of it. this means that if she does not want to talk or fantasise anymore, stop. respect her wishes. start again another time. but be persistent. she will give in eventually.

this is a slow and steady process and your Mrs MUST always have the feeling that she is in control. ALWAYS! This reassures her that should she want to stop, IT WILL BE STOPPED. only then will she trust you.

3. AGAIN REMEMBER that the focus here is your wife. not you and what you desire her to do for you (please understand this as they will learn the truth).

this was one of the methods i used on my wife......

my mrs loves to suck cock. she really loves it as she can go for an hour or more just sucking on one. and you will only enjoy having your cock sucked IF the person sucking enjoys what she is doing. i should know this as im her hubby. she loves to swallow too. and not the porn you watch type where they spit it out! she love to taste it and swallow (i suppose this was the thing that turned me bi too as i loved watching her do it so much that i too got hooked).

so during my convincing her to join a swing party, i bought a vibrator and when she was sucking my cock, i used the vibrator on her. now when she sucks she is in heaven and then applying the vibe on her pussy was the ultimate for her. i used that moment to fantasise that it was a mutual friends. an american guy that we knew (she is partial to orang putih). this method me a great deal in convincing her that another cock or cocks would be great in our sex life. so i did this time and time again. this was the persistent part. as long as she likes sex, half the battle is won.

about 4th month - the reluctance soon gave way. and she began to allow me to talk to her about a third person.

about 8th month - then i began to ask her things. and she answered!!

with this i knew i was doing the right things.

10th month - while having sex SHE asked for the vibrator.

after a year of some hard work she finally agreed to join in a swing party. and the rest is history. this was the patience part.

she enjoyed herself at the party. and it was enjoyable to watch her too.

so keep plugging at it. always remember that the focus is on her. not you.

we began with swinging, then moved gradually (as my cuckold side began to emerge) to threesomes and finally cuckolding. this is something i really enjoy. i especially watching the action up close (like in fucklicking) as it is so intoxicating.


dan

 

[zhili]

My name is Mariana (40) married and adulterous with the complicity of my husband.

My post is more directed to men who want to experience the cuckold or Stag and Vixen culture, and do not know how to approach the subject with their wives.
The most important thing is that in the couple there is good dialogue and a lot of trust.
If this is not the case, it is necessary to work a lot on these two keys because nothing can be undertaken without dialogue and trust.
Something important to understand is that the cuckold culture is not recommended for marriages or couples in crisis.
If the relationship is in crisis, sexual openness will not solve the crisis but will aggravate it.
STEP 1
Every husband should wait for the right moment to ask his wife if she believes adultery can negatively affect a relationship or marriage.
Surely she will answer that she is indeed convinced that adultery ruins a marriage or partnership.
No doubt she will answer that to be politically correct, even if she is not convinced.
The husband should then tell her that he does not believe that adultery affects the marriage, -when there is love-.
And then take the opportunity to tell his wife that he "loves her so much that if she slept with someone else, HE WOULD STILL LOVE HER" and even "love her even more...".
It is convenient not to insist too much on that point so as not to irritate the woman, so after the previous step we will move on to the step called "without words" but with gestures and attitudes.
STEP 2
This other step consists of the husband buying sexy clothes for his wife or encouraging her to buy and wear sexy clothes.
At first the wife may feel a little shy about wearing sexy clothes, but if the husband starts to be more and more affectionate and sweet when his wife wears sexy clothes, little by little she will understand that wearing sexy clothes is a good way to get her husband to behave more affectionately and she will understand that it is WORTH IT.
STEP 3
The third step will be to get the wife to start paying more attention to her body.
To do this, the husband should suggest to his wife that it would be a good idea for BOTH of them to start going to a gym to keep fit and HEALTHY.
It is important that husband and wife go to the gym TOGETHER, so that he can encourage his wife's progress when the effects of the exercise begin to take effect in her body.
It is important that the husband's constant loving attitude will encourage his wife to please him.
STEP 4
The fourth step will begin when the husband starts telling his wife that he is noticing that men are looking at her with desire.
And that this does not displease him because, if this is happening, it is because she is beautiful and desirable.
The husband should make it clear that he is happy to have a wife, beautiful and desirable and that his main "reward" is to notice how other men desire her.
Even with all this "warming up", the wife may still not be very willing to take the "step" of yielding to the siege of some man interested in taking her to bed.
At that point the husband should go back to STEP 1 and reassure her that if she sleeps with someone else it will not affect her husband's love for her.
Then go back to STEP 2 and insist on the use of sexy clothes on the wife, and double the bet by looking for even more daring "outfits" than the ones used at the beginning.
In the same way, repeating step 3 will mean that the wife will dare to use the gym as a "showcase" to show the effects of gymnastics on her body.
For that the husband should look for her to wear leggings in the gym that highlight her attributes.
The repetition of the fourth step should already include comments from the husband that there is some guy who looks at the wife with desire.
And it is very important that the husband makes it clear that this does not bother him and does not make him jealous.
It is important that at this point the husband dedicates himself to banish from his wife the idea that JEALOUSNESS IS A SIGN OF "LOVE."
I say this because that is a widespread idea among women, and many interpret that a husband who is not jealous, means that he does not love her.
So with words and attitudes the husband must demonstrate to his wife that the fact that he does not show jealousy over his wife does not mean that he does not love her.
As you see, this is a repetitive and ROTATIVE process so as not to saturate the woman who needs REPROGRAMMING.
consists of going back to step 1 each time step 4 is reached, but always doubling the stakes
A visit of the couple to the nudist beach, and some incursion of both by a sex shop would be an optimal complement for this process.

This is the answer I was hoping for. Nicely described steps. Thank you for your help!

 

[zhili]

hi there,
i'm dan. half of an asian couple living in malaysia. im a cuck myself and i thought i would try and help you out, fulfilling your dreams of cuckolding.

the impt question is whether she is able to fantasise. this is never an easy question to answer as it involves many factors. most impt of which is whether she IS ABLE to at the very least, fantasise with you about being a hotwife. THIS IS KEY.

if she has not, then it is a harder hill to climb.

1. there are some things that you must first learn - patience and persistence. these are your tools to help you achieve this.

2. never push her. you must be very very patient in getting your fantasy to be a reality. always let her think she is in control of it. this means that if she does not want to talk or fantasise anymore, stop. respect her wishes. start again another time. but be persistent. she will give in eventually.

this is a slow and steady process and your Mrs MUST always have the feeling that she is in control. ALWAYS! This reassures her that should she want to stop, IT WILL BE STOPPED. only then will she trust you.

3. AGAIN REMEMBER that the focus here is your wife. not you and what you desire her to do for you (please understand this as they will learn the truth).

this was one of the methods i used on my wife......

my mrs loves to suck cock. she really loves it as she can go for an hour or more just sucking on one. and you will only enjoy having your cock sucked IF the person sucking enjoys what she is doing. i should know this as im her hubby. she loves to swallow too. and not the porn you watch type where they spit it out! she love to taste it and swallow (i suppose this was the thing that turned me bi too as i loved watching her do it so much that i too got hooked).

so during my convincing her to join a swing party, i bought a vibrator and when she was sucking my cock, i used the vibrator on her. now when she sucks she is in heaven and then applying the vibe on her pussy was the ultimate for her. i used that moment to fantasise that it was a mutual friends. an american guy that we knew (she is partial to orang putih). this method me a great deal in convincing her that another cock or cocks would be great in our sex life. so i did this time and time again. this was the persistent part. as long as she likes sex, half the battle is won.

about 4th month - the reluctance soon gave way. and she began to allow me to talk to her about a third person.

about 8th month - then i began to ask her things. and she answered!!

with this i knew i was doing the right things.

10th month - while having sex SHE asked for the vibrator.

after a year of some hard work she finally agreed to join in a swing party. and the rest is history. this was the patience part.

she enjoyed herself at the party. and it was enjoyable to watch her too.

so keep plugging at it. always remember that the focus is on her. not you.

we began with swinging, then moved gradually (as my cuckold side began to emerge) to threesomes and finally cuckolding. this is something i really enjoy. i especially watching the action up close (like in fucklicking) as it is so intoxicating.


dan

Thanks for your help, Dan! It's a long process and it's all about her, but how did you find yourself and your needs in this? Will this come with time?

 

[danum99]

Thanks for your help, Dan! It's a long process and it's all about her, but how did you find yourself and your needs in this? Will this come with time?

how did i find myself and my needs in this? im not sure i follow you buddy.

could you kindly elaborate please? be happy to answer in any way i can.

dan

 

[zhili]

how did i find myself and my needs in this? im not sure i follow you buddy.

could you kindly elaborate please? be happy to answer in any way i can.

dan

Encouraging our wives into this lifestyle is a demanding and long process. Once you can convince her to try it, she needs to start discovering what feels good to her BUT When is the time to talk about your fantasies? Her fantasies and yours.

 

[danum99]

Encouraging our wives into this lifestyle is a demanding and long process. Once you can convince her to try it, she needs to start discovering what feels good to her BUT When is the time to talk about your fantasies? Her fantasies and yours.

the thing is, if your wife does not fantasise about sex with other men, then there is never a good time AND anytime is a good time. and dont fuss about her fantasy and your fantasy. just focus on 1 fantasy. hers, yours, whatever.

in short, there is nothing stopping you from introducing fantasy in your sex life. it was the same with us. i intro'ed a 3rd person in our fantasy early in our life together. she talked a little. then some more and so on. but this was merely fantasy.
then i intro'ed sex vids and the fantasy became visual.
then i began with a dildo. and in some way it was physical (see where im going with this?)

this went on for a bit before i talked to her about involving a real person in our sex life.

so this involves a bit of time. from day 1 to reality it took some 13 months.


dan

 

[milankaundmann]

Es gibt Frauen, die es grundsätzlich nicht tun!

 

[toolman2c]

My name is Mariana (40) married and adulterous with the complicity of my husband.

My post is more directed to men who want to experience the cuckold or Stag and Vixen culture, and do not know how to approach the subject with their wives.
The most important thing is that in the couple there is good dialogue and a lot of trust.
If this is not the case, it is necessary to work a lot on these two keys because nothing can be undertaken without dialogue and trust.
Something important to understand is that the cuckold culture is not recommended for marriages or couples in crisis.
If the relationship is in crisis, sexual openness will not solve the crisis but will aggravate it.
STEP 1
Every husband should wait for the right moment to ask his wife if she believes adultery can negatively affect a relationship or marriage.
Surely she will answer that she is indeed convinced that adultery ruins a marriage or partnership.
No doubt she will answer that to be politically correct, even if she is not convinced.
The husband should then tell her that he does not believe that adultery affects the marriage, -when there is love-.
And then take the opportunity to tell his wife that he "loves her so much that if she slept with someone else, HE WOULD STILL LOVE HER" and even "love her even more...".
It is convenient not to insist too much on that point so as not to irritate the woman, so after the previous step we will move on to the step called "without words" but with gestures and attitudes.
STEP 2
This other step consists of the husband buying sexy clothes for his wife or encouraging her to buy and wear sexy clothes.
At first the wife may feel a little shy about wearing sexy clothes, but if the husband starts to be more and more affectionate and sweet when his wife wears sexy clothes, little by little she will understand that wearing sexy clothes is a good way to get her husband to behave more affectionately and she will understand that it is WORTH IT.
STEP 3
The third step will be to get the wife to start paying more attention to her body.
To do this, the husband should suggest to his wife that it would be a good idea for BOTH of them to start going to a gym to keep fit and HEALTHY.
It is important that husband and wife go to the gym TOGETHER, so that he can encourage his wife's progress when the effects of the exercise begin to take effect in her body.
It is important that the husband's constant loving attitude will encourage his wife to please him.
STEP 4
The fourth step will begin when the husband starts telling his wife that he is noticing that men are looking at her with desire.
And that this does not displease him because, if this is happening, it is because she is beautiful and desirable.
The husband should make it clear that he is happy to have a wife, beautiful and desirable and that his main "reward" is to notice how other men desire her.
Even with all this "warming up", the wife may still not be very willing to take the "step" of yielding to the siege of some man interested in taking her to bed.
At that point the husband should go back to STEP 1 and reassure her that if she sleeps with someone else it will not affect her husband's love for her.
Then go back to STEP 2 and insist on the use of sexy clothes on the wife, and double the bet by looking for even more daring "outfits" than the ones used at the beginning.
In the same way, repeating step 3 will mean that the wife will dare to use the gym as a "showcase" to show the effects of gymnastics on her body.
For that the husband should look for her to wear leggings in the gym that highlight her attributes.
The repetition of the fourth step should already include comments from the husband that there is some guy who looks at the wife with desire.
And it is very important that the husband makes it clear that this does not bother him and does not make him jealous.
It is important that at this point the husband dedicates himself to banish from his wife the idea that JEALOUSNESS IS A SIGN OF "LOVE."
I say this because that is a widespread idea among women, and many interpret that a husband who is not jealous, means that he does not love her.
So with words and attitudes the husband must demonstrate to his wife that the fact that he does not show jealousy over his wife does not mean that he does not love her.
As you see, this is a repetitive and ROTATIVE process so as not to saturate the woman who needs REPROGRAMMING.
consists of going back to step 1 each time step 4 is reached, but always doubling the stakes
A visit of the couple to the nudist beach, and some incursion of both by a sex shop would be an optimal complement for this process.

WOW u make this sound like your certain a sexy but vanilla white wife will find she she needs a bbc/bwc, with ur great instructions ive found myself silently talking to my unaware sexy younger redhead wife of 20yrs in that manor, this has swelled me so much little dew drops are seeping out. Ive thot of telling her i want 2c her split wide n deep by a bare naked big cock that deep seeds her, But as i start i get Scared for fear of loosing her and chicken out. I sware i fuck her much better when im pretending 2b watching a studly cocksman pushing his cum out around his cock each time he bottoms up inside her yearning hot needy pussy..

 

[toolman2c]

This is the answer I was hoping for. Nicely described steps. Thank you for your help!

I agree 100%. That was a great help for my experienced newly found desires for my younger unshared, unaware redhead wife..