How to proceed?

[slowrideher]

This past weekend, after a few beers, but not enough to be *******, and for the first time ever, my wife asked me to tell her again about my desire for her to sleep with other men. I was caught totally off guard and a little surprised, but didn't want to miss an opportunity to make a little progress. She asked me why I wanted her to sleep with other men and how we could arrange it. As I have no experience in making something like this work and only had what I've read on the internet to fall back on, she said she would do it, but not because she wants to, but because she knows that it is something that I want, and she wants to fulfill all of my desires. That's not really how I want this to happen, I want her to want it as much as I do, so we talked about it for at least three hours. It's been at least two months since I have brought up the subject (see the About part of my profile), and since she brought it up out of the blue, she has to have been thinking about it at least occasionally and I believe that she is interested. All of the talk lead to some fantastic sex and even more talk about finding a lover for her. She wants me to find the guy and arrange everything, but wants it all to happen far from where we live, with which I agree, but she's convinced it isn't as easy as I believe to find someone. She says she knows women who have been looking for someone for years and are unsuccessful, to which I reminded her that we aren't really looking for a long-term relationship, but just a one-night stand. She says she has girlfriends that go to bars and try to pick up guys but are rarely able to find anyone worth taking home or even being succesful flirting.

I am considering an on-line dating site, but don't want to post any pictures showing my wife's face on the internet.
What would you guys suggest as a way to find someone?
She also stated interested in swinger's clubs, but I don't know if I am interested yet in jumping in the deep end?

 

[slowrideher]

Just cut out her face from the pics but show her off and they will take notice. You will eventually have to let them see her face but just just let them know you guys want to get to know them and build a comfort level before you do that. It's a respect factor and if they can't be understanding to your requests then your probably better off looking else where. It shouldn't be a big issue. You could do like we did and open a Twitter account for the sole purpose of talking to other like minded people and men with BBCs about your fantasy and you would be amazed how many men you will talk to. We actually have met up with a couple different guys thru twitter. You can also check out FetLife we've met lots of guys and other couples on there as well. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice. I never considered just blocking out her face, but it's a great idea.

 

[Dblinsey]

Hi,

From your description, I think she is more than ready to give it a try. Also, I think that while she is 'doing it for you' that may be just a smoke-screen; she's interested on her own, but using that as a dodge so that it doesn't appear that it's her idea alone.

You also indicated that you want to do something out of town. That's fine. Look for someone who is far enough away that you can drive, but not so far that you're on the road for a super long time. I'd suggest about 100 miles away.

If/when you're contacted, get a photo of the guy and arrange for a social meeting so that the two of you can judge him in person. Go to the location early and spend the day looking at local sights. Make it a kind of mini-vacation - a weekend get-away.

At the appointed time, meet him at a public place, a tavern or cafe. Let things run their course. Arrange for a signal from her that indicates that she is interested (bringing a comb out of her purse or something similar). If you don't get the signal, then politely break it off (Hey, you're really super, but we'd like some time alone to discuss it...) then leave.

If he does meet her requirements, then invite him back to the hotel. If condoms are a requirement, make sure YOU supply them, some crazies out there tamper with them. Never agree to go to his place (he may have video cameras set up without your knowledge). Insist on your hotel room.

Have fun!

If you have further questions, please ask.

Best of luck

Donna

 

[MacNfries]

She also stated interested in swinger's clubs, but I don't know if I am interested yet in jumping in the deep end?

I think you might have a misconception of swinger clubs, slowride. When referring to swinger clubs, we're not talking about a Roman orgy where everyone is running around dicking everyone else. The truly well run swinger clubs are called "adult lifestyle" clubs ... clean, well managed, and no one is ****** to do anything with anyone else, and often plenty of condoms if safe sex is a desire. Attending one when they hold their hospitality events, allows you to converse with member (often fully clothed) and establish relationships with those you feel comfortable with associating. They allow you to wade as deep into the water as you feel comfortable, particularly if you've explained beforehand that you're both novices. This also has another benefit in that it tests your mental state in handling such activities ... watching your wife perform with other men, even if its simple necking or a blowjob. The whole purpose of adult swinging is to enhance the relationship you and your wife share with each other, not to simply satisfy some fantasy that either you or her have at the moment.
With adult lifestyle clubs, there's usually no charge for females or swinging couples. Go to the hospitality area, chill out, have conversations with people who are into this. Ask the questions you have concerns about, THEN decide if you desire to go forward ... "seeing is believing".
With that in mind, if the two of you have never done any kind of swinging activities, just handing your wife over to black males to watch her get fucked isn't all that good of idea. See how you and her react to men (in general) rubbing her, touching her in private areas of her body, kissing, oral sex, etc ... before getting down to intercourse. Then, once you do, decide if its going to be safe sex or bareback and/or whether its ok for guys to ejaculate inside her or pull out beforehand ... its how do you want it? Just remember, SHE is the one taking the physical risks.
If either of you get cold feet along the way, develop yourselves a "safe word" that halts what is going on so whichever of you is getting up tight, the other can come to the rescue and the two of you take a breather.
Again, this isn't to help YOU get your cookies off watching her get plowed, its to strengthen the relationship you have WITH her.


ps .... keep in mind, also, that lots of people are "visually stimulated" first, particularly men ... so you want her looking her best going in ... "first impressions". And really, just relax as if its a regular social event ... met & greet & chat, first.

 

[dumblonde]

wow lots of good advice! another way (maybe not the best but whatever works for you guyz) is to try it while yr on a real vacation...vegas, jamaica, paris...maybe with sum1 local or maybe with another traveler you meet there.

 

[slowrideher]

Thanks for some very good insight. The way you describe it makes be believe a swinger's club may be the way to go.

 

[AdorableAllie]

wow lots of good advice! another way (maybe not the best but whatever works for you guyz) is to try it while yr on a real vacation...vegas, jamaica, paris...maybe with sum1 local or maybe with another traveler you meet there.

This is a good way to jump in, it’s how we did it and it opened the door

 

[Loylty4Roylty]

This past weekend, after a few beers, but not enough to be *******, and for the first time ever, my wife asked me to tell her again about my desire for her to sleep with other men. I was caught totally off guard and a little surprised, but didn't want to miss an opportunity to make a little progress. She asked me why I wanted her to sleep with other men and how we could arrange it. As I have no experience in making something like this work and only had what I've read on the internet to fall back on, she said she would do it, but not because she wants to, but because she knows that it is something that I want, and she wants to fulfill all of my desires. That's not really how I want this to happen, I want her to want it as much as I do, so we talked about it for at least three hours. It's been at least two months since I have brought up the subject (see the About part of my profile), and since she brought it up out of the blue, she has to have been thinking about it at least occasionally and I believe that she is interested. All of the talk lead to some fantastic sex and even more talk about finding a lover for her. She wants me to find the guy and arrange everything, but wants it all to happen far from where we live, with which I agree, but she's convinced it isn't as easy as I believe to find someone. She says she knows women who have been looking for someone for years and are unsuccessful, to which I reminded her that we aren't really looking for a long-term relationship, but just a one-night stand. She says she has girlfriends that go to bars and try to pick up guys but are rarely able to find anyone worth taking home or even being succesful flirting.

I am considering an on-line dating site, but don't want to post any pictures showing my wife's face on the internet.
What would you guys suggest as a way to find someone?
She also stated interested in swinger's clubs, but I don't know if I am interested yet in jumping in the deep end?

Honestly? My partner does most of the finding men for me, he networks through various sites like fetlife, doublelist, and then just others he knows. He sends them my pic once he gets a feeling for him, shows me their pic and if it's a go we will do a group chat on kik. We are pretty successful.

Also also, when I go out solo, it just depends where your from who you are going to pick up. Sites like Ashley Madison the female doesnt have to pay and every pic will be blurred

 

[slowrideher]

Honestly? My partner does most of the finding men for me, he networks through various sites like fetlife, doublelist, and then just others he knows. He sends them my pic once he gets a feeling for him, shows me their pic and if it's a go we will do a group chat on kik. We are pretty successful.

Also also, when I go out solo, it just depends where your from who you are going to pick up. Sites like Ashley Madison the female doesnt have to pay and every pic will be blurred

Some great insight. If we break the ice and make a little more progress, this may be the way to go.

 

[slowrideher]

Since the weekend, this has been a topic of discussion several times. I consider that a good thing, but although I don't know that I'm answering all of her 'correctly,' I am answering them honestly. The question that stumps the most is if I want this because I am bored. I never considered that question, and it caught me off guard. We have been together for many years, and although I have experienced the occasional loss of libido and associated erectile issues, I've never considered boredom as a factor.

 

[tomtomjim]

go on adult friend finder and look for men in a place where you can meet such as a close town or city and then message the men who interest you. you do not need to send a picture since most men are eager and will like a verbal description. if you find one or more that interests you start and email conversation and then have her do a phone chat with them and eventually you can set up a date. make sure to voice your wishes and fears and hers as well