It all started very well. He is the kinda guy you can talk about everything. And he's very hot. Very strong in bed. After 2 weeks it was all sex and less going out. And now we don't meet so often. I feel like he's loosing interest in me. He once told me he wanted to introduce me to one of his friends, Black too, right in the middle of doing it. I took it as a joke. Then I also found out he has a second facebook account where he appears in company of another girl, only 2 weeks ago. She is more voluptuous than me. I didn't say anything to him. He also asked me to prepare for anal, but i don't like it. Is all this something you find cliche or is it just me? I'm not saying I'm disappointed. I'm crazy for him. But I don't know what to do?
How to keep your Black man?
- Thread starter Hannelore
- Start date
You have to be up for anything.
You have to give up your ass
maybe have a discussion with him?
Thanks for the input, guys.
Yeah, I've been thinking about discussing with him openly about his facebook second self and all. But I'm afraid he could think I'm sniffing around him. So, yesterday, when he came to see me I just told him I needed some time. Then he asked if he did something wrong. I went like I was confused about his signals. He said we are grown ups, educated and all that. That he's got a tight schedule with his rehearsals - he's musician. But he would like to spend more time with me. Not showing much of emotions. I got a mental block and I had to break up lying about helping my roomie with her project. He would meet me over the weekend.
Got little doubt about a side woman role. But he was all but sincere when he has had this chance.
Seems like the only option. But not sure I wanna use it.
Yeah, I've been thinking about discussing with him openly about his facebook second self and all. But I'm afraid he could think I'm sniffing around him. So, yesterday, when he came to see me I just told him I needed some time. Then he asked if he did something wrong. I went like I was confused about his signals. He said we are grown ups, educated and all that. That he's got a tight schedule with his rehearsals - he's musician. But he would like to spend more time with me. Not showing much of emotions. I got a mental block and I had to break up lying about helping my roomie with her project. He would meet me over the weekend.
Got little doubt about a side woman role. But he was all but sincere when he has had this chance.
Seems like the only option. But not sure I wanna use it.
Never do anything that you are not comfortable doing! Simple as that
You're obviously aware of your boundaries and stick with them. If you want to compromise them then only do so when you are comfortable to do so and mutually agreed upon.
It's all about mutual fun and respect (before, during and after) ... right?
Good luck with this particular person, I hope it turns out well for you. Take care.
You're obviously aware of your boundaries and stick with them. If you want to compromise them then only do so when you are comfortable to do so and mutually agreed upon.
It's all about mutual fun and respect (before, during and after) ... right?
Good luck with this particular person, I hope it turns out well for you. Take care.
Mmhh, not actually. Maybe I expected too much.
Thanks, Darkns. You're absolutely right. Unfortunately, he did not come clear on his behavior. Just business as usual. So, I continued as well, after I also started seeing others at the same time. But I don't think he cares. For good or for bad.
....So, Hannelore, are you wishing to compete for his attention with this other woman? Look, most of us guys have the attention span of a knat, ok? If he's currently trophy hunting, and many guys do this ... he's just wanting to hang some "conquests" on his wall; once you're there, he moves on to another hunt.
....I think, before getting your panties all ruffled up, you need to decide exactly what is it you want from a relationship with him? He really has no reason to be monogamous with you ... unless you offer him something exceptional. He's already suggested handing you off to one of his friends ... that's a HINT! He'll still want to be with you on occasions, but he doesn't want routine, and that's what it becomes when a guy finally decides on just one woman. It happens all the time with women, but, you just don't notice it ... you have guys interested in you, but you're just "sampling" ... you'll know when you find the right one, and if its right for him as well ... bingo, lightening bolts appear, the waters divide, and the birds sing beautiful music.
....I'd treat him as a casual date and find more guys or activities that will allow you to cease wondering about him. One thing guys can't tolerate, is a woman making the decision to move on. Maybe its a control issue, or ego thing, but if he calls you for a hookup, and you're nonchalantly busy, his interest in you may just increase ... he'll wonder what & who is competing for his time with you. The less you tell him (and it'll probably ******* you to not say anything), the better it'll be. Once a guy has spent some 'sheet time' with a girl, he kind of likes to feel he can do it again and again WHENEVER he wants ... just don't give him that.
ps ... if you've never read this paperback book, you should ... my wife loves it and got me to read it as well .... "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" ... you'll understand men a lot better afterwards, I promise.
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Best to do is walk away dont need drama do u?
Unfortunately, I think you're spot on. And that's what I'm doing right now; just trying to be less emotional about it. Will bounce him back when he calls for a date. At least, once. Shame, because I believe he's good value. Maybe, he doesn't know it himself or is too sure about it.
Yea but sm foo just like drama u kmw
I sort of relaxed my rel to him and it seems it worked. I feel less attachment now. But he also came and said sorry for being so busy and againd told me he wanted to introduce me to a friend of his. It turned out it is a girl he was with some time ago, he admitted, a professional photographer who he wanted to take some shots of me. I'm not modelling and I'm not a perfect body either, but he says I look very interesting (to him), blah, blah. Still not convinced. His other facebook account had no updates since August. But I don't know how many others he keeps. We'll be meeting his 'friend' photographer on Thu.
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