Encouraging My Wife to Open Up About Her Fantasies: Tips?

TOfuck said:
yes, ok, but I think that from starting discussing about what happen during business trips to arrange the meeting, in these 2 years, there was lot of talking. How you made it? what was her reaction at first?
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No It didn't, wife had only mentioned about what others had said that some had done. It only opened the dialog of the possibility of us fucking others
 
TOfuck said:
great achievement. I'm just wondering how you make convinced her to just bedtalk about that to actually her asking to make it for real.
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Well basically for all your comments about this, to us you and your wife don't talk. We talk about everything, not just bed talk.
 
TOfuck said:
hi all!

I've got a bit of a situation here that I'd love some input on. I fell that my wife is open to trying new things in the bedroom, such as mfm, but there's a noticeable hesitation in expressing this desire. I believe it's because she's afraid of hurting my feelings or going against societal norms that promote monogamy.

When we talked about mfm, some days ago, she finally admitted she can be interested, but only after asking a lot about my feelings about ("but I know you won't allow me", "but you'll react badly", "but what you in front of another male", etc...). In that occasion, I've not openly said "yes, it's totally ok for me, don't worry", but I've tried to let her focalize on her instead of me.

I've always told her she can tell me anything, and, for example, I've been open about my own desire of a fmf (about which she stated clearly that she doesn't know if she can resist looking someone else on me, or "competing" for my body). She's comfortable talking about sex in general, but I want her to feel completely at ease sharing her deepest desires with me.

How can I make her open up about her fantasies and desires?
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You broke the cardinal rule. You have said that you’d like a FMF situation. She might now think the only reason “You” want a MFM play time is get what you ultimately want which is another woman. Jealousy is the root of problems in the swinging lifestyle. You will have to try to unwind your desire for another woman in your bed.
 
Wifeandmelooki said:
Well basically for all your comments about this, to us you and your wife don't talk. We talk about everything, not just bed talk.
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We talk a lot, about everything of course. But it's just this point about her most inner sexual desires that she still is evasive. Basically if I ask her "what you really want to do/try" she reply "I don't know I have to think..." and other no-answers like these. I mean, she is open in talk about sex in general, but not about what she want.
 
TOfuck said:
We talk a lot, about everything of course. But it's just this point about her most inner sexual desires that she still is evasive. Basically if I ask her "what you really want to do/try" she reply "I don't know I have to think..." and other no-answers like these. I mean, she is open in talk about sex in general, but not about what she want.
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Well than you have to talk to her, not others in chat
 
TOfuck said:
she is open in talk about sex in general, but not about what she want.
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Look at the positive, here ... she's still willing to have conversation about the topic, and not getting upset. So basically, she's looking to you to give her a good, logical reason to move forward. Treat this opportunity as a jigsaw puzzle ... the answer is there; you just haven't found it yet.
Married women, particularly those with an established family, tend to apply more logic and common sense to these kinds of discissions. She probably feels she has a lot to lose if you react in the wrong way when she takes another man to bed. And to be honest, I think she's justified, as I, also, don't think you really realize how you may react when she takes another man for sex. You might think you do, but you possibly don't. There are a lot of emotions created when this event happens, some of those are negative ... like jealousy of enjoying it, her aggressiveness of being with a new man, etc etc. Does she wish to risk her happy marriage over a crazy idea that you WANT more than she does?

A good marital relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust and honesty. Until you establish those within your marriage its very risky to bring in outside entertainment to stimulate your sexual desires. So, it's good you desire to get her to verbally & mentally open up before perusing a 3rd person to your love crib. You really need to crack open her sexual fantasy box and see what SHE finds extra-stimulating. Everything will work out in the end if you use patients and understanding. Just keep in mind that this is mostly a fantasy to most people, and like fantasies, eventually will stop having the same excitement once fulfilled.

I'm sure you have some swinging lifestyle clubs around; I'm pretty sure they do in Naples. Why not take her to a "hospitality night" event where the club is desiring to bring in new members. Having casual talk with club memebers over a few drinks might be the thing that gets her to open up. Just let her move at her own pace. Usually, club members are clothed in the hospitality area to help relax the attendees.

I really encourage you to remain patient and let this happen naturally. Some things are just worth waiting for. Mac
 
kim&bobby827 said:
Netflix there is a series called ballers, it’s about football players. A lot of IR sex in it.
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Why you want to watch stuff that doesn't pertain to your situation. She likes the idea of fucking another guy, but don't have the nerve to say anything about it. Your best bet is go to swingers clubs and parties. See if she actually will fuck
 
Nevada Couple said:
You broke the cardinal rule. You have said that you’d like a FMF situation. She might now think the only reason “You” want a MFM play time is get what you ultimately want which is another woman. Jealousy is the root of problems in the swinging lifestyle. You will have to try to unwind your desire for another woman in your bed.
Click to expand...
I see the point, but I partly disagree. The goal I'm trying to pursue is to be both open on what we want, and telling her I'd like to have an fmf (as well as others), is a way to have me doing the first step in this direction. And she's also joked on this saying that she will think about organize a surprise one day (but not with her in the trio).
 
MacNfries said:
Look at the positive, here ... she's still willing to have conversation about the topic, and not getting upset. So basically, she's looking to you to give her a good, logical reason to move forward. Treat this opportunity as a jigsaw puzzle ... the answer is there; you just haven't found it yet.
Married women, particularly those with an established family, tend to apply more logic and common sense to these kinds of discissions. She probably feels she has a lot to lose if you react in the wrong way when she takes another man to bed. And to be honest, I think she's justified, as I, also, don't think you really realize how you may react when she takes another man for sex. You might think you do, but you possibly don't. There are a lot of emotions created when this event happens, some of those are negative ... like jealousy of enjoying it, her aggressiveness of being with a new man, etc etc. Does she wish to risk her happy marriage over a crazy idea that you WANT more than she does?

A good marital relationship is built on a solid foundation of trust and honesty. Until you establish those within your marriage its very risky to bring in outside entertainment to stimulate your sexual desires. So, it's good you desire to get her to verbally & mentally open up before perusing a 3rd person to your love crib. You really need to crack open her sexual fantasy box and see what SHE finds extra-stimulating. Everything will work out in the end if you use patients and understanding. Just keep in mind that this is mostly a fantasy to most people, and like fantasies, eventually will stop having the same excitement once fulfilled.

I'm sure you have some swinging lifestyle clubs around; I'm pretty sure they do in Naples. Why not take her to a "hospitality night" event where the club is desiring to bring in new members. Having casual talk with club memebers over a few drinks might be the thing that gets her to open up. Just let her move at her own pace. Usually, club members are clothed in the hospitality area to help relax the attendees.

I really encourage you to remain patient and let this happen naturally. Some things are just worth waiting for. Mac
Click to expand...
Wow, lot of valuable tips and contributions.

Agree 100% about the prudence in consolidated and happy marriages. I see the point, and, in particular about mfm, having me and her openly saying what we'd like to do doesn't directly implies we will do it. I'm not sure I'd like to share her with someone else during sex, but the point is that I want to know if she desires it.
In fact the point is that I really want not just to look into her "sexual fantasy box", but having her open and show it to me. And this, as I was saying above, doesn't mean that whatever is in my or her box will be done. Something can continue being a fantasy or just topic for roleplaying among us in the bed. But the important point is discussing.

I was not aware of hospitality nights, thanks for the hint.

I agree also about patient, I'm quite sure is a long time journey.
 
TOfuck said:
I see the point, but I partly disagree. The goal I'm trying to pursue is to be both open on what we want, and telling her I'd like to have an fmf (as well as others), is a way to have me doing the first step in this direction. And she's also joked on this saying that she will think about organize a surprise one day (but not with her in the trio).
Click to expand...
Okay I’m just thinking that might be her hesitation
 
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