Encouraging My Wife to Open Up About Her Fantasies: Tips?

axelmartin77 said:
Well how open are you two with each other? Would it be weird if you showed her sexual memes? Like how vulgar could you be do you think?
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She is quite open, but of course should seems like something that, for example, is "connected" with some situation or jokes we usually make.
If it is joking meme, I think there's not much limit (just not hardcore I suppose)
 
TOfuck said:
hi all!

I've got a bit of a situation here that I'd love some input on. I fell that my wife is open to trying new things in the bedroom, such as mfm, but there's a noticeable hesitation in expressing this desire. I believe it's because she's afraid of hurting my feelings or going against societal norms that promote monogamy.

When we talked about mfm, some days ago, she finally admitted she can be interested, but only after asking a lot about my feelings about ("but I know you won't allow me", "but you'll react badly", "but what you in front of another male", etc...). In that occasion, I've not openly said "yes, it's totally ok for me, don't worry", but I've tried to let her focalize on her instead of me.

I've always told her she can tell me anything, and, for example, I've been open about my own desire of a fmf (about which she stated clearly that she doesn't know if she can resist looking someone else on me, or "competing" for my body). She's comfortable talking about sex in general, but I want her to feel completely at ease sharing her deepest desires with me.

How can I make her open up about her fantasies and desires?
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Sounds like you are on the way... Take it easy, and don't rush it. This is about building trust and she really needs to know and trust you that you will not be hurt, or jealous .. which is understandable. Incorporate these fantasies into your sex... Start by asking her to describe the first cock she touched and sucked? .. the first time someone came in her pussy? Has she ever seen another couple make love? and let her see how hard this makes you while you are working your way round her body and eating her pussy ... stopping if she stops... Over time make her tell you her fantasies as you eat her .. and then...after she has cums and is desperate for your cock (which she will be) , insert the tip and make her promise she will have another man before you thrust deep inside her.. make her promise ... She will !! ... Also fantasize about things like having a long term lover, and visiting other places with him.. .. the excitement of checking into a hotel. One room for all three of you - just a large king size bed.. .. the receptionist knowing she will be having two cocks inside her later .. Another thing .. she will ask how can you bear to see her being pleasured by another man.... and you can let her know, she may not understand it, but all she has to know is that she can trust you. Overall.. have fun, take it easy and slow and enjoy the journey.
 
JohnEE said:
Sounds like you are on the way... Take it easy, and don't rush it. This is about building trust and she really needs to know and trust you that you will not be hurt, or jealous .. which is understandable. Incorporate these fantasies into your sex... Start by asking her to describe the first cock she touched and sucked? .. the first time someone came in her pussy? Has she ever seen another couple make love? and let her see how hard this makes you while you are working your way round her body and eating her pussy ... stopping if she stops... Over time make her tell you her fantasies as you eat her .. and then...after she has cums and is desperate for your cock (which she will be) , insert the tip and make her promise she will have another man before you thrust deep inside her.. make her promise ... She will !! ... Also fantasize about things like having a long term lover, and visiting other places with him.. .. the excitement of checking into a hotel. One room for all three of you - just a large king size bed.. .. the receptionist knowing she will be having two cocks inside her later .. Another thing .. she will ask how can you bear to see her being pleasured by another man.... and you can let her know, she may not understand it, but all she has to know is that she can trust you. Overall.. have fun, take it easy and slow and enjoy the journey.
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Thank you very much for the interesting suggestions.
 
The key is to make her feel loved. If you can make her be sure that you are going to love her and there is no chance you are going to regret it, she might build the necessary confidence. Be patient, it took me months. And do not insist too much.
Ah, and once she agrees and does it, never try to talk her out of it. Let her enjoy.
 
8 pages of mostly single men or men not engaged with a partner on the site giving advice to another one who doesnt quite seem to understand his spouse or basic communication skills. Priceless.
 
AnnieS said:
8 pages of mostly single men or men not engaged with a partner on the site giving advice to another one who doesnt quite seem to understand his spouse or basic communication skills. Priceless.
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It seems to me a bit too harsh as a comment.
My intentions were just to get some of the experiences of other people here that maybe faced the same situation. That's I think is also the purpose of this place: put stuff on table and discuss.

I know already the communication is the key and I can spend lot of time here telling you I have a super strong understanding of my wife and I love her with all my self and more, but I don't think anything I can do will convince you (that of course makes sense, since I'm just one nickname on a forum writing stuff). But it's not my goal, neither.

The point is exactly because I deeply understand her and what she think, I feel there could be something in the sexual desires that she is a bit "blocked" to express openly. Maybe I can be wrong, or maybe not. I've and I'm still talking with her of course (also a lot depends on the moment of course), but I've also opened this thread (that it's not about interracial or other specific kinks, but general) to know some experience from others. It seemed to me not so bad, honestly. Yes, some contributions are better than others, but 🤷‍♂️
 
If you know her so deeply and intimately- and I’m being serious not snarky, then how come you are 8 pages deep in conversation with people you have no idea who they are and will give you this skewed perception that all you need to do is show her IR porn or buy a black dildo and she’s gonna all of the sudden become some crazy IR queen? Think about that. You know her so well and has she ever expressed this desire, ever said to you hey this turns me on, or I find that very erotic? Since you know her so completely and intimately why is she hesitant to share this fantasy about wanting to be with a man of another race with you? Could it be it’s your fantatsy ? Not hers? And she’s doesn’t have some hidden agenda or is “blocked” from expressing her desires? Perhaps she is and it’s not fitting your “fanatasy” of what you want it to be. Again I’m expressing what I’m seeing in this thread from a women’s perspective and what I see is a whole bunch of men telling you what she wants or what you can do to make her want what you want. That’s never going to happen. If she doesn’t want that or it doesn’t turn her on -there isn’t any magic button that all of the sudden is going to flip and she’s going to be someone she’s not. I say this with sincerity and that 80-90% of the “advice” you’re getting here is from men who can care less about your marriage and are only in the thread for thier own jolly’s. It gets them off this fantasy of a women goes to bed and wakes up after seeing some IR meme and is like yeah that what I want to do today!! Go find some stranger who’s black and suck his dick because I saw a picture!!! It is as absurd as it sounds.
 
AnnieS said:
If you know her so deeply and intimately- and I’m being serious not snarky, then how come you are 8 pages deep in conversation with people you have no idea who they are and will give you this skewed perception that all you need to do is show her IR porn or buy a black dildo and she’s gonna all of the sudden become some crazy IR queen? Think about that. You know her so well and has she ever expressed this desire, ever said to you hey this turns me on, or I find that very erotic? Since you know her so completely and intimately why is she hesitant to share this fantasy about wanting to be with a man of another race with you? Could it be it’s your fantatsy ? Not hers? And she’s doesn’t have some hidden agenda or is “blocked” from expressing her desires? Perhaps she is and it’s not fitting your “fanatasy” of what you want it to be. Again I’m expressing what I’m seeing in this thread from a women’s perspective and what I see is a whole bunch of men telling you what she wants or what you can do to make her want what you want. That’s never going to happen. If she doesn’t want that or it doesn’t turn her on -there isn’t any magic button that all of the sudden is going to flip and she’s going to be someone she’s not. I say this with sincerity and that 80-90% of the “advice” you’re getting here is from men who can care less about your marriage and are only in the thread for thier own jolly’s. It gets them off this fantasy of a women goes to bed and wakes up after seeing some IR meme and is like yeah that what I want to do today!! Go find some stranger who’s black and suck his dick because I saw a picture!!! It is as absurd as it sounds.
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Priceless! It’s along the same lines of “couples/women” saying they are getting a room in your particular area and they seem to instantly go ghost once you call them out on it. Happened today
 
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