White Wives in Love with Black Lovers?


Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
It's very likely, however, that the wife is becoming more emotionally attached to someone that will not reciprocate that same level of emotional attachment, and that will become a problem down the road as the wife desires "more" and her lover pushes away. And if, by chance, the lover does reciprocate and develop the same level of emotional attachment, then the wife often moves toward him and away from her husband ... and the marriage faulters.

It requires a fine & delequate keel in maintaining these types of relationships for very long.
I have to say that falling in-love with a lover is something that is really unavoidable in many situations. Shortly after me and hubby met and he moved in with me, he brought over a friend from work who stayed the night 3-4 times a week. He slept in my bed with me and my hubby, who was then just a possible boyfriend.

After about 2 months of this, I had to admit to my now hubby that I did have very strong feelings for M. It was tough for me because I was still learning about my now hubby and I was very much enjoying learning M as well. I was still unsure of my deepest feelings for my now hubby, but at the time I knew that I was very much in-love with M.

I very much enjoyed being with my now hubby, but when I knew that M was going to be at the house and spending the night I got the warm fuzzies. My kids were still unsure of how they felt about my now hubby, but they knew they liked M and liked having him around.

My now hubby lived with me, and I knew I loved him on some levels, but I also knew I was already in-love with M. And the fact that I was still unsure of how I deeply felt about my now hubby, and I knew that I was already in-love with M, and my kids truly cared for and wanted M to live with us had my heart torn in 2 different directions.

M moved in with us after about 6 months. Having both him and my now hubby in my bed every night was amazing. I had two men in my bed every night which made me feel very special. Both M and my now hubby were great lovers. Both M and my now hubby were both helpful around the house, but M was much more romantic.

M didn't want to be part of the group sex that me and my now hubby often experienced together. M wanted just me. He shared me with my now hubby because we lived together and M felt he was the third in our relationship. The thing was that M was actually number one for me and my now hubby was still in the stages of having to prove to me that he was the right man for me.

When my now hubby was required by his work to travel more, it was nice having M at the house every night and all the weekends. I was able to be with the man I was in-love with. When my now hubby would come home from being away for 3-4 days, I felt a deep desire for him, but any time M was around my now hubby would step aside. This made me wonder how he really felt about me.

For the year that M lived with us, he was faithful to me. My now hubby during this time was still married to his now ex-wife and they still had sex on occasion. During this time, my now hubby had shared me with numerous other men and had watched me gang banged several times. And we had begun regularly frequenting the adult theater on Friday and Saturday nights.

M was not real hip on the fact that my now hubby shared me with so many other men. He liked that my now hubby shared me with hm, but often I felt that M shared me with my now hubby and put up with what my now hubby liked me to do.

When M and I went out, just the two of us, he wanted me dressed up, but not slutty. When my now hubby and I went out, just the two of us, he always had me dress "sexy." He wanted me to dress in such a way that other men knew that I was available, sexually. And often I had sex while out on dates with my now hubby, but the sex was not with him. M was much more conservative in these ways.

On the one hand I liked that my now hubby brought out the wild side of me. On the other hand I liked that M was faithful and didn't want other women and didn't want to share me with other men. Sexually, both M and my now hubby were equally talented. M was not much bigger than my now hubby, yet he came a lot more.

When the three of us were home together, M was more often the one with his arm around me or walking up behind me and caressing my breasts and kissing me. At these times I would glance over and see my now hubby smiling and obviously enjoying that I was enjoying M.

Both M and my now hubby fulfilled me in different ways. When we went to bed, since both me and M slept on the same side we cuddled all night. And my now hubby, because he slept on his left side was the one essentially sleeping alone, even though there were 3 of us in the same bed.

M and I made love in the middle of the night often. My now hubby pretended, more often than not, that he was asleep the whole time. To this day, my now hubby will not wake me in the middle of the night, even when he wants me, sexually, because he says that if I am asleep, then I need my sleep, not to be woken up just because he has a hard on or a desire. And although I have repeatedly told him that often I like being woke that way, he won't and never has.

When my now hubby and I came home one night from a date, where we had gone to dinner and then spent 4 1/2 hours at the adult theater where I had sex with several men I had never seen or met before, M told us he was moving out. He said that he loved me and the kids, but the lifestyle that me and my now hubby lived was not his thing. He said he couldn't ask me to choose between him and my now hubby and he felt it was better if he left on good terms.

I have to admit that I was devistated. I told M that I was in-love with him. He told me that he was as well, but he couldn't stand the thought of coming between me and my now hubby. I had to really think about who meant more to me. I was about to lose the man I had fallen deeply in-love with. And I was having to decide where to go, whether to let M go and allow my now hubby to stay, or to tell my now hubby to go back to his ex-wife and keep M.

M left that night and we found out that following Monday that he had also quit his job. We have never seen him since. In the last five years we have had several men live with us for 3-6 months at a time. Of those men, I fell in love with 2 of them. The man who lives with us now I am very much in-love with. I find it hard not to fall in-love with a man who is in my life for an extended period of time who is not just living with us, but who is also my lover.

Me and my hubby have been married for a year now, and our live-in has lived with us for 2 years. Am I in-love with my hubby? Yes. I am also very much in-love with our live-in. The thing is that now my hubby is mostly faithful and our live-in has me and several other women on a regular basis.

Both my hubby and our live-in like me to dress and act slutty. They both bring out my wild side. And I love that. Yet at night it is our live-in that I make love to most often. It is also our live-in who I make love to every morning. It is also our live-in who wakes me up in the middle of the night to make love to me. My hubby may share my bed with me, but, more often than not, it is not him I am having sex with in "our" bed.

I married my hubby because I want him in my life for the rest of my life. I am in-love with him. Yet, I am glad that our live-in, whom I am very much in-love with, lives with us as well. And I am hoping that he lives with us for a very, very long time. I am a very sexual person. When a man wants sex with me, I feel loved and wanted and desired. I feel special and cared for. My hubby, being the voyeur that he is, prefers to watch. Although hubby is not as sexual, or sexually active as I am, he speaks my other love languages.

Our live-in makes me feel loved because he wants sex with me. My hubby makes me feel loved, on this level, because he allows me to be with other men. Our live-in fulfills my need for physical touch himself, while my hubby fulfills this need by allowing me to be with and by taking me to places where I can get that from other men.

A woman falling in-love with her lover is not always a bad thing. Sometimes her falling in-love with a lover is the balance their relationship needs.


Real Person
Gold Member
And, as you found with "M" and your current "live in", it is possible to have a polyamorous relationship that works well for all as long as they all compliment each other's position in the relationship and there are no jealousies or competition.

The only problem for "M" was his desire for a monogamous relationship with you, possibly fueled by the perceived dangers of you having sex with numerous partners, which eventually became more than he was comfortable with. He did the only loving thing he could do, which was to set you free to be who you are and move on with his life.

Now you have a "live in" that is more compatible with your needs and, hopefully "M" has found a lady that more closely matches his.
My wife told me that while her and her boyfriend were making love, he told her he loved her. She said she responded the same. After that she explained how even more amazing the sex became. She does say that her love for him is very different than the love for me. They do have amazing chemistry sexually, mostly making love passionately to each other.
I don't know anyone that this has happened to.
Pardon, but what? A wife that fell in love with her lover, or a polyamorous triad?
i would say the first is quite common (unfortunately, from my POV ;) ), and the second is not something that "happens", rather what people choose. jm2ct`s

BTW, thanks @maryann 660ac for resurrecting a 3 1/2 y.o. formerly unknown as dead thread. (<- This is no sarcasm. i like the discussion it brings along!) :blackheart:


Real Person
Sorry but I know many swingers that have been swinging for many years and they are not looking for love at all so I see nothing common about it. Swinging takes a level of trust and even though it can be betrayed it is the exception, not the rule.
Okay, maybe you`re right. But i was not strictly talking about the swing lifestyle but more general. Including hotwives, slutwives (are these necessarily swingers?) and even cheating wives.
Being used to a person, the closeness, mutual bodily response, orgasms and hormones do something. There will probably be a point you start to talk with a regular about things beside the sheets.


Real Person
From what I understand about hotwives and cheating wives it is done with the husbands consent. I feel people assume that women have to be in love to have sex. I know far more men that think they are in love because that got laid. LOL I just don't like terms like "it is common" or "happens all the time" or " always". It isn't common. All of these lifestyles are consensual. Cheaters are just pure slime and are not welcome in this lifestyle by most.


Gold Member
As most of you know I left my husband to move in with my black boyfriend. We weren't newlyweds by any means having been married nearly 30 years. I didn't move in with the black guy because I loved him but because I needed sexual satisfaction. I had spent years faking orgasms and the only way my husband could even approach making me orgasm was by eating my pussy. Why I needed to be with my lover 24 hours a day instead of just a day or night here or there was because I wanted to be available to my lover anytime. He could take me when he wanted or he could share me with his friends. I spent 29 months with Jamal before I went back to my husband and I don't regret any of the time I was his wanton, black cock slut.

She confessed she was in love with A, her steady bf. They'd go away for weekends at times and whenever he had to travel for his work she'd get the blues til he returned and he always brought her something. As stated elsewhere I was cut off and she was black-only so she missed him profoundly.
Whenever he came to see her she'd wear one of the nighties he'd bought for her; inevitably they'd end up on the couch kissing and fondling like horny teens until she'd audibly ask him to fuck her. At that point they'd walk back to the bedroom and close the door; but during one of those times is when she told him she loved him. I think that is when she decided to have his baby if he got her pregnant.