First, I want to say before I proceed that I hope the admins here will allow a post from a brand new member that is seeking advice/help. My wife, my high school sweetheart and first love and I have been married 2 years after years of living together. Last year, we decided to spice up our sex life and discuss the possibility of her being with a black man. She was initially opposed and came around at my urging. I am, and have always been a bit on the sexually submissive side. I am of the mindset that black men, in general are superior to white men, especially in the bedroom. I wanted my wife to experience that.
We ended up meeting a really great guy off of a dating app. He had everything going for him. Handsome, educated, successful, muscular, and the BBC. The first time he was with my wife I watched them. I had never seen her behave in such a way when we had sex. He completely dominated her (In a non hurtful way) and she fully submitted to him. She appeared to love every minute of sex with him. After a few times, she informs me she didn't want to see him any longer. Because I always respected her wishes, I agreed. Whatever she wanted. Over the last 6 months, our sex life literally has become non existent. She won't let me touch her in any way. We get along fine and she is affectionate, but not like before.
I have asked her all along if she loves me and if she's happy and she says yes. I was suspecting her of seeing someone else, and I asked her if she met someone else and she has denied it.
So I set a trap for her because I needed to know the truth. Told her I was going to Jacksonville for business and that I would be gone 2 days. I checked into a local hotel and rented a car she wouldn't recognize and waited across the street from our home during the evening. On the very first night I am away, I see her pull into the garage around dinnertime and a black Cadillac Escalade pulled in behind. Who gets out but the black gentleman we met off the dating app. I waited about 20 minutes or so and get out of the car and run to the side of the house where our bedroom window is located. I can hear pretty much everything they are talking about because our windows are original, single pane windows that are in desperate need of replacement. Their conversation is pretty basic and then I begin to hear them passionately kiss and that leads to sex, in our martial bed. I could hear them talking to one another during sex, saying I love you, etc. I am sitting there, back to the wall of our home listening to everything, devastated. I get up, get in the car and head back to my hotel. I wake up early the next day, his SUV is still there. He spent the night. Mind you, I texted my wife around 11 the night prior telling her I was at the hotel relaxing. She texted me back a bit later telling me "I love you and goodnight".
Night two "away" I return to wait for her to arrive home from work. She arrives alone and about an hour or so later, he shows up again. I do the same exact thing I did the night before, sit on the side of the house, just below my bedroom window and listen to them have sex this time for about 2 hours. It concluded with him asking her if "he could cum inside of her" and she responded "yes, I want to feel you inside of me".
Now dont get me wrong, I am happy she enjoys being with this man in a way she never has with me. He is a good guy, quality person and I did inititate this originally, so I do share alot of the blame. I am just fearful I am losing her to him and eventually she is going to divorce me.
I return home from the "business trip" and everything is "normal" like before but no sex or intimacy between us whatsoever. I am also very concerned that she could potentially end up pregnant. Why do I say that? Well, when they first were getting together and I knew about it and was present, he had inititally asked if he had to wear a condom. My wife and I both agreed wearing a condom was a must as my wife has never been able to handle the side effects of the birth control pill. We always prevented pregancy in the past with me wearing one. He asked to cum inside of her that second night and she said yes. Why would he ask that if he were wearing a condom? Makes no sense, does it?
I am home tonight, sitting here and once again, head still spinning. I want to just come right out and ask her but I am fearful of her response.
Please, admins, I have literally no one else to talk to about this. If you can allow this post just long enough for me to get some advice, I would deeply appreciate it. I love my wife and just want my marriage to return to normal but I do not know how.
If anyone here wants to contact me, plz feel free to send me a private message.
Thank you so much.
The divorce is already final.
