If your wife falls in love from a good fucking it's not the male you should be asking about, you should be asking yourself what in the hell have you been doing. I say this because, fucks come and go, and what may be a good fuck today, may not measure up tomorrow. So maybe, just maybe ask yourself what is your wife getting besides a good fuck? Is he taking the time to show her how much she matters, is he listening to her, is he doing what you should be doing out of the bedroom. Sorry, but there is no nice way to put.
If i understand you correctly, you may be wrong. One thing we all have to accept is the fact that no two human individuals experience sex and love the same! Everybody who has a proclivity for an open relationship lifestyle will have to accept that there are people who are
intrinsically monogamous. If that is a husband's wife, there will be no "good way" of sharing her. He will have to accept that any move in that direction will cause major problems to their relationship and may even be the starting point of the ending of their marriage. - And
that is the "no nice way" to really put it.
Let's face it... there are women (and men) who fall in love over sex very easily and for them it does not rely on a partner showing them how much they matter or if those are even listening to them! It's a bodily function dictated by establishing feelings, hormones and emotions that cannot
consciously be controlled. It's the geno-psycho-social makeup of a person including a great portion of the subconscious mind that altogether build an established system that becomes part (the
sexuality and
bonding portions) of an individual's personality. And for the most part those are established even earlier than when puberty sets in.
Having that said... There are people who can separate love from lust more easily and people who can consciously control their emotions to an extent so that being sexually shared can be chosen and used as an advantage and enrichment for their lives.
There are also people who are dead against being shared at first because of moral or social reasons but who are enabled to adjust their morals and/or view of their assumed behavior in society or they may use the "trick" of building up a safe
secret portion of their lives that would fence them from their peer's view - all that "simply" via a thought process that leads them to change their minds and accept the overweighing advantages of being sexually liberated and shared.
But not every person is enabled to do that - perhaps because their sexuality and bonding scheme are more seated in their genetics and biology than their psycho-social programming, or it is too deeply rooted in their subconscious mind so they cannot overcome; or "simply" they come to a different conclusion following their thought process. If a person cannot even imagine a single advantage from a shared lifestyle, most probably there will nothing be able to change their mind. The latter is particularly true for a person who does not feel sexual attraction toward anybody at all (i.e. an asexual) or a person with a very low libido who already finds it hard to put up with the primary partner's higher libido.
It is a lesser spoken but crucial aspect of this lifestyle... If you are a husband with a kink fantasy of sharing your wife AND you have a wife who is
naturally not made for being shared then better keep your fantasy a fantasy because there will be
nothing that can ever make sharing your wife work!!!