Well I thought my wife was ready to take a bbc but boy I was wrong. For years and years me and my asian wife have been roleplaying with a black dildo and me watching her get fucked. She orgasms and enjoys it. I always asked if she was ready for a real bbc and she would say maybe. So the last time we were doing this she said she wanted to give me a show and have me watch her take a bbc. So I thought she was ready FINALLY! So I contacted a bbc bull and was setting up a meeting for her. The bull sent me a pic and I showed her and she was really impressed and even said it would really stretch her pussy. So I was super excited that this was going to actually happen after so many years. I then communicated to her the exact plan that we would go out for dinner, get some drinks and go over to his place for her first bbc experience. Well she said no and that she wasn't ready and might never be. She also called me a perv and said she didn't want to talk about it. At this point I want to give up on her and she just wants to be a boring wife not a hotwife. Anyone else have a similar experience?
Hotwife...we have a problem!
- Thread starter sharky20
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eyespy07
Male
Hey man! Sounds like she just wants to fantasize in the bedroom but when it actually comes time to do the deed, she gets cold feet. Women are peculiar this way. Probably doesn't want to be seen as a slut (by others) and will only do stuff for you in the bedroom.
I think this is the hardest part to communicate to women that you want to try this stuff out mainly so that she gets the most satisfaction. If anything, she's loyal to you and probably thinks your fantasy come to life would be like cheating. Have you let her chat with some of the ladies on here? Maybe they can convince her to see things from your POV?
I have explained over and over to her that she's not cheating, that I want to do it so not to feel guilty. She then said she will feel guilty to herself so how I defend that. She has said she wants to be a slut hotwife for me during our sessions but I guess she's just teasing me. She did say that about being loyal to me. I don't think she would chat on here about it cause she's not proactive that way. I'm just bored of the dildo play acting like she's gonna actually do but always chickens out. So sick of that!
eyespy07
Male
Could be a cultural thing. Good part is that she's loyal. Bad part is that she doesn't want to escalate it further. Have you reassured her? Do you watch IR movies together? Really tell her your ideas. She needs to hear it from someone else that it's okay with you.
Yes could be cultural, could be catholic guilt, she's not overly religious but still. Yeah it's good she's loyal as I don't worry she will fuck around me behind my back but its also not good when I want to see her fucked. Oh I have reassured her and told her my ideas over and over til my head could explode. Yes we have watched asian on bbc porn many times, she will look at it but not like to watch much. She also way overthinks it. She thinks cause I got bored with the dildo play that I will get bored with her taking real bbc (which I don't think I would ever) and this will lead to orgys or something. I told her I don't want to fuck other woman either. The things I would have done for her if she was a hotwife. I wanted to take her to Vegas, NY for bbc fun but not now.
Sounds like you need to make it more about her fulfilling your fantasy than it just being about her pleasure. This conversation should always be had after drinks. Also when she is on board and this is one of those rare cases but you should allow the bull to have some communication with her to butter her up by flirting and so on.
I have read hotwife profiles where women have said "I don't understand why my husband likes this but I want to satisfy him so that's why I am doing this"!
Let it go if she don't want it its NOT FOR HER .Fantasy is one thing Reality is another
I know you dont mean this but please never say this to her. not if you want her to be more adventurous.
Very similar! This is a common thing and she may never be able to go for it. You could be the most communicative partner and encourage and llisten to all her concerns. You could be doing this for many years.
For me.... youre a cuckold. It's your sexuality not just a fetish. Think carefully about your future with this lady. I wish you well and Im happy to chat further in messages.
This makes you sound like a complete asshole. You just want YOUR fantasy played out rather than considering her feelings and concerns. If you really want her to be happy try listening. It took over a year for me to build up the courage to go through with meeting a BBC. Rather than acting like her pimp have HER talk to the potential partner on the phone.
Rock 9n sister, 100%!
Biggest problem is, you didn't involve her. You made plans for her. She wants to want it. Let her do the planning with you or herself. Most likely, it's too late tho. If I was you, don't mention it for at least a year or so.
On the money, I think so many men don’t understand that a woman must be hardwired for this lifestyle. No man can coerce a woman into choosing to live a your fantasy. It’s in a women’s DNA you may encourage. But the decision is always the females. Careful what you wish for. Seen several men not cope when living the reality of a female led relationship
I feel ya buddy. It's getting to the point I'm feeling lied to and when she talks about finding someone I just roll my eyes. She just puts no effort into any of this. Sexual chemistry is just so important when it comes to a relationship so I just feel as if she really loved me she would, at least, make an effort in any sort of way. Most marriages end because of a lack of sexual chemistry which is something we just lack. It's like if it isn't her way she just isn't interested in it. I'm getting to the point I don't even want to have sex with her. It would be one thing if she would just be honest with me and admit it isn't ever going to happen but the lying about it just makes me resent her. It's like she just doesn't care about my needs at all because she doesn't like me watching porn at all, she doesn't want to role play anything, she just wants boring sex the same exact way each time. It's like she expects me to just repress this kink like it doesn't exist. I just don't even want to be in this relationship anymore so I can find someone that isn't so prudish and boring. I've tried to explain this to her but she just hears what she wants to hear.
If she's not ready dude. It not the end of the world if you love her. You need to both be on the same page not just you. That's selfish
She could have a point. At what point would one BBC not be enough for you as you are pushing already.
Surely has to be natural progression if to work dude
Agree
