Holding Back

[lisasparrows]

If I were to allow my husband to have a fmf, I would be upset if he seemed to enjoy her a little too much. I know that sounds selfish, but that's just the way it is. I would think a smart guy would tread lightly in those situations. He could enjoy it as much as he wants, but don't be too obvious about it.

When I watch videos of woman trying this out for maybe the first time, a lot of times they don't appear to like it. I discussed this with a member on this site, and I sent him a clip. We both think she liked it, but she did have some strange facial expressions that would lead you to believe otherwise. My friend and I had a good discussion about it, and then it hit me; maybe she just hated the camera aspect.

A few days later I had a different thought. What if she was just afraid to show how much she liked it. I can totally understand a woman trying to hold back her enthusiasm. I guess I'm mostly talking about the beginning of the lifestyle. The conversations that go back and forth between couples, can be pretty scary. Does she think I'm a freak? Will he think I'm a slut?

So when you took the plunge, was that going through your mind?

 

[whiteshadoe]

If you confuse the enjoyment of a good fuck with some deeper emotional attachment then you might want to consider a different hobby.

 

[lisasparrows]

If you confuse the enjoyment of a good fuck with some deeper emotional attachment then you might want to consider a different hobby.

So I'm guessing that's a no? lol

 

[whiteshadoe]

All I know is when we finally did what I was hoping we would do it was as awesome as I could have hoped. She had a great time and I never felt any less loved for it. If you're unsure you have to talk about it but it seems silly to put stipulations on how much enjoyment your SO shows.

 

[lisasparrows]

All I know is when we finally did what I was hoping we would do it was as awesome as I could have hoped. She had a great time and I never felt any less loved for it. If you're unsure you have to talk about it but it seems silly to put stipulations on how much enjoyment your SO shows.

When I posted this, my gut instinct was to ask for answers only from women. One should always listen to their gut.

 

[whiteshadoe]

If you click on 'Tools' you can edit the original post to specify that you prefer only female responses.

 

[lisasparrows]

If you click on 'Tools' you can edit the original post to specify that you prefer only female responses.

I tried that and it just I could add a poll. It's not that I don't welcome thoughts from the men, it's just that this website is not really the place to get the answer I was looking for, from men. If this site was all about fmf, then the guys views would be perfect for my question. My question wasn't about stipulations or not wanting the spouse to have pleasure. I was talking about people who were brand new at this. Like if a lady was very reluctant to do this (for a million reasons) , but she tried it, did she ever worry about showing too much enthusiasm? Keep in mind that this is a new thing for both of them, and she would be wondering if hubby might turn out to hate it. Fantasy is fantasy, and reality is reality.

 

[whiteshadoe]

You're absolutely right. Many men nag and nag until they get her to do it then freak out when she cums like Niagara falls. The ego is fragile and reassurance can be key. Go slow, communicate, and stay emotionally connected. The relationship is more important than the sex.

 

[lisasparrows]

You're absolutely right. Many men nag and nag until they get her to do it then freak out when she cums like Niagara falls. The ego is fragile and reassurance can be key. Go slow, communicate, and stay emotionally connected. The relationship is more important than the sex.

I'm thinking that the woman's fear would go away after a few times of trying this. On that car ride home she will be wanting to hear something very positive from her husband. If he tells her that it was really amazing to see that and that he hopes this will happen again soon, then I think it will. My question stemmed from some of the videos I've seen. I'm talking about the couples just trying it. I just wonder about some of the looks I see on the women. In the video that my friend and I were talking about, there could have been another factor that I should have thrown in. She was in a room with about five black guys. Her boyfriend was filming. They obviously planned to do this, because it's not like it happened by accident. So it wasn't the shock that suddenly there were all of these guys present. My guess is that she hated the camera. I can certainly see why. Her boyfriend probably promised her that nobody would ever see the video, and now a zillion people have seen it.

 

[whiteshadoe]

There are also some really bad boyfriends who pressure girls into doing things. The guy filming was either out to make a buck or fulfill his own fantasy without regard for her. Aftercare is a term people use and I think it is the most important part of the lifestyle. We have seen girls break down crying in the middle of a party. When the fantasy is fulfilled there is a lot of emotion that needs to be processed and that's where the love comes in. You mention the car ride home and that reminds me of our rides home from the clubs we go to. It's the most intimate part. I tell her how sexy she was and she tells me how it would not be fun if I was not there with her. It makes the night special.

 

[lisasparrows]

There are also some really bad boyfriends who pressure girls into doing things. The guy filming was either out to make a buck or fulfill his own fantasy without regard for her. Aftercare is a term people use and I think it is the most important part of the lifestyle. We have seen girls break down crying in the middle of a party. When the fantasy is fulfilled there is a lot of emotion that needs to be processed and that's where the love comes in. You mention the car ride home and that reminds me of our rides home from the clubs we go to. It's the most intimate part. I tell her how sexy she was and she tells me how it would not be fun if I was not there with her. It makes the night special.

I totally get that many guys pressure the girls to do this against their will. That's why I created a thread and asked are you doing this for her or you. (hopefully it's for both )

The guy I was talking to on here is very intuitive about these things, and he said he thought the girl really liked it. What I mean by that is, I pick up on very subtle clues, but he was much better at it than me. He notices things that I miss.

So in another video, the wife looks miserable. It's hard to tell if she hates it or is worried what hubby thinks. She is laying between both of them on the bed and rubbing both of their cocks. She never looks at the black guy. She just stares at hubby with these puppy dog eyes. It's pretty obvious that hubby likes it, because he keeps moving the camera position. He wouldn't get up and move the camera if he hated what was going on.

Eventually the black guy starts fucking the wife. At that point you can't see her face, but you can hear her. She could have been faking the moans, but when she puts both hands on the black guys ass, it seems to tell a different story.

We will never know if she had any interest in this in the beginning or if she will ever want it again.

So.......my question on the post was....wast she holding back because she didn't want to make hubby feel bad.

 

[oliver509]

I think I know what you mean. If a couple has never tried it, the guy could be wondering if his wife will hate it. He would be worrying about that beforehand. But I can also see a guy who is worried that she will like it too much. Some guys are wanting more humiliation than others. A stag wouldn't want to hear his wife say, "Gee, honey, this guys so 10 times better than you." I mean you would enjoy seeing her get pleasured, but there a limits to it. On the other hand, a cuck would probably LOVE to hear that. I suspect this is why so many people just let this remain a fantasy. I've started talking to my wife about just giving some guy a hand job. I've stopped pushing for the whole enchilada. I actually got her to say maybe! That's a damn good start.

 

[lisasparrows]

I think I know what you mean. If a couple has never tried it, the guy could be wondering if his wife will hate it. He would be worrying about that beforehand. But I can also see a guy who is worried that she will like it too much. Some guys are wanting more humiliation than others. A stag wouldn't want to hear his wife say, "Gee, honey, this guys so 10 times better than you." I mean you would enjoy seeing her get pleasured, but there a limits to it. On the other hand, a cuck would probably LOVE to hear that. I suspect this is why so many people just let this remain a fantasy. I've started talking to my wife about just giving some guy a hand job. I've stopped pushing for the whole enchilada. I actually got her to say maybe! That's a damn good start.

You could even make a game out of it. Like if she wins the bet, you have to do this, and if you win the bet, she has to do that. If she gets upset and asks why you'd want that, just say you don't know why. You just saw a couple do it in a video and they seemed like they really had fun with it. Just keep it light. You already got your maybe, but she's going to want you to try harder to persuade her.

 

[bobbertsmithert]

The extra guy doesn't mean *******. Look at your man and read him. He is the only guy that matters. His eyes will tell you.

 

[JenNWayne]

If I were to allow my husband to have a fmf, I would be upset if he seemed to enjoy her a little too much. I know that sounds selfish, but that's just the way it is. I would think a smart guy would tread lightly in those situations. He could enjoy it as much as he wants, but don't be too obvious about it.

When I watch videos of woman trying this out for maybe the first time, a lot of times they don't appear to like it. I discussed this with a member on this site, and I sent him a clip. We both think she liked it, but she did have some strange facial expressions that would lead you to believe otherwise. My friend and I had a good discussion about it, and then it hit me; maybe she just hated the camera aspect.

A few days later I had a different thought. What if she was just afraid to show how much she liked it. I can totally understand a woman trying to hold back her enthusiasm. I guess I'm mostly talking about the beginning of the lifestyle. The conversations that go back and forth between couples, can be pretty scary. Does she think I'm a freak? Will he think I'm a slut?

So when you took the plunge, was that going through your mind?

Your honesty is refreshing and i totally understand, we have a similar 'double standard', in that Jennifer dates, but i really don't.

 

[lisasparrows]

Your honesty is refreshing and i totally understand, we have a similar 'double standard', in that Jennifer dates, but i really don't.

I would have thought that guys would be more possessive about this than the women, but I'm learning that it's the other way around. In your case, I'm not sure if you even want to date or just that it's not an option.

When I created this thread, it would have been better if I would have posted the video that my friend and I were talking about. It's not so much this video, but the concept that I'm curious about.

So if you watch this video, tell me if you think the girl is liking what's happening, or is just tolerating it.

 

[JenNWayne]

I would have thought that guys would be more possessive about this than the women, but I'm learning that it's the other way around. In your case, I'm not sure if you even want to date or just that it's not an option.

When I created this thread, it would have been better if I would have posted the video that my friend and I were talking about. It's not so much this video, but the concept that I'm curious about.

So if you watch this video, tell me if you think the girl is liking what's happening, or is just tolerating it.

I think she's definitely playing along more so than a woman should have to, at least. WHat is beautiful is when it brings the woman to new heights of passion and it just comes natural for her to be totally enraptured by the sex she's having

 

[lisasparrows]

I think she's definitely playing along more so than a woman should have to, at least. WHat is beautiful is when it brings the woman to new heights of passion and it just comes natural for her to be totally enraptured by the sex she's having

At some points she seems to like it, but then at other points she doesn't look so happy. I think it could just be the camera she hates. I sure hope that's it. I'm still looking for a video that would be a better example of what I'm talking about.

 

[JenNWayne]

At some points she seems to like it, but then at other points she doesn't look so happy. I think it could just be the camera she hates. I sure hope that's it. I'm still looking for a video that would be a better example of what I'm talking about.

I love seeing the stud making the wife just build and build EXPLOSIVE torrents of *******, and her cuckold looking at her with love, desire, and acceptance, and SUPPORT, no matter how much shes making him wish he were where the lover is! Between her sweet legs

 

[Khrises4u]

If I were to allow my husband to have a fmf, I would be upset if he seemed to enjoy her a little too much. I know that sounds selfish, but that's just the way it is. I would think a smart guy would tread lightly in those situations. He could enjoy it as much as he wants, but don't be too obvious about it.

When I watch videos of woman trying this out for maybe the first time, a lot of times they don't appear to like it. I discussed this with a member on this site, and I sent him a clip. We both think she liked it, but she did have some strange facial expressions that would lead you to believe otherwise. My friend and I had a good discussion about it, and then it hit me; maybe she just hated the camera aspect.

A few days later I had a different thought. What if she was just afraid to show how much she liked it. I can totally understand a woman trying to hold back her enthusiasm. I guess I'm mostly talking about the beginning of the lifestyle. The conversations that go back and forth between couples, can be pretty scary. Does she think I'm a freak? Will he think I'm a slut?

So when you took the plunge, was that going through your mind?

The way my wife articulates it to me - when I am in the room, she feels like she has to "perform", and it shifts the dynamic from her pleasure as the focus to my pleasure as the focus. That mental state shift is why she enjoys being 1:1 with her Bulls and enable her focus on the pleasure they make together...

In general she knows I want her to enjoy herself and be pleasured, so she doesn't tend to "hold back", it definitely has more to do with the logistics of focus and distraction of "performance"