General Advice

[lacbbc]

Hi

We've been off and on this site for ages now and I the hubby is jumping back on to ask for some advice.

My self and my wife love to roll play the bbc fantasy stuff but when we have talked about taking it to the next level, taking the dive to set up the real thing, she struggles and gets scared then kinda back tracks on the whole thing. Thats why we have been very on and off this site because of how she is feeling.

She would rather it just stay as a fantasy and has always said, maybe in the future it will happen for real but I can't say 100%

I am a typical bloke and when someone says I can't have something I want it more, this fantasy just keeps getting stronger the more I can't have it, she has an amazing slim body she has pale white skin and is blond and would look amazing with a huge black cock inside her, I bet she would have an amazing time and I would love to watch her experience that.

Its not like she's not interested because we are always playing with bbc dildos and she loves to feel a bigger cock deep inside her.

I dont really want to ******* this stuff on her because I've edge towards that kind of approach before and she backs off quite quick.

What do I do now because we watch IR cuckold porn, we play with big black dildos and she has crazy orgasams with everything we do but every time I ask her about setting the real thing up she struggles with it.

Maybe some of you ladies and gentlemen have been In similar situations and if so, is there anything you did to soften the jump or to make her feel more confident and confatable to try it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this looking forward to your responses.

 

[frankfortbull]

If you need a bull I’m here to fulfill your beautiful queen needs

 

[Bristolangela]

Your probably actually doing ok just taking your time, maybe try and back away a little from the ir porn and dildos, concentrate on building her confidence more. Reassure her and show you love more. Make her feel sexy and confident when you go out x

 

[lacbbc]

If you need a bull I’m here to fulfill your beautiful queen needs

Thanks for the offer Frank

 

[lacbbc]

Your probably actually doing ok just taking your time, maybe try and back away a little from the ir porn and dildos, concentrate on building her confidence more. Reassure her and show you love more. Make her feel sexy and confident when you go out x

Thanks Bristolangela for your reply, we have had this fantasy going for 3-4 years, maybe even longer but I love everything you have said so I will try even harder to compliment her in and out the bedroom and express my love for her even more.

Thanks

 

[OneAboutLife]

Hi

We've been off and on this site for ages now and I the hubby is jumping back on to ask for some advice.

My self and my wife love to roll play the bbc fantasy stuff but when we have talked about taking it to the next level, taking the dive to set up the real thing, she struggles and gets scared then kinda back tracks on the whole thing. Thats why we have been very on and off this site because of how she is feeling.

She would rather it just stay as a fantasy and has always said, maybe in the future it will happen for real but I can't say 100%

I am a typical bloke and when someone says I can't have something I want it more, this fantasy just keeps getting stronger the more I can't have it, she has an amazing slim body she has pale white skin and is blond and would look amazing with a huge black cock inside her, I bet she would have an amazing time and I would love to watch her experience that.

Its not like she's not interested because we are always playing with bbc dildos and she loves to feel a bigger cock deep inside her.

I dont really want to ******* this stuff on her because I've edge towards that kind of approach before and she backs off quite quick.

What do I do now because we watch IR cuckold porn, we play with big black dildos and she has crazy orgasams with everything we do but every time I ask her about setting the real thing up she struggles with it.

Maybe some of you ladies and gentlemen have been In similar situations and if so, is there anything you did to soften the jump or to make her feel more confident and confatable to try it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this looking forward to your responses.

Pretty common on here from what I’ve seen. I will offer some advice and hope it helps as we do have some parallels. First I’ve learned there are benefits to keeping it fantasy, especially if you are monogamous which it sounds like you are. We were monogamous our first decade plus married and it slowly but yet quickly changed. Understand your relationship WILL change drastically whether for better or worse. Again, from a monogamous foundation, this will change the positives that come from the Sharing of each other with each other. If that’s something you greatly value I say keep it fantasy.

With that being said, if that’s not of top value, there still are great, bad, and everything that comes along with it. Ultimately it complicates things this is for sure. I was very closed and reluctant at first, much like your wife. Mine pushed for it subtly then not so subtly after years and years of role playing. At first it was exhilarating. Six or so months later and it’s just complicating. At first we had great sex which happened during and after her other partners and when just us. Over time though it’s become less frequent as up until a couple days ago we hadn’t had sex in a little over a month. Prior to I could give her an orgasm if she vibed her clit. It eventually moved to anal with a vibrator. Now she can’t even come close to coming unless she has something very large inside her.

I would also say to make sure you guys are on similar wave lengths with responsibilities in life. This has been a bit of an issue with us. I’m a frequent traveler with a busy work schedule. My wife stays at home and is incredible at providing in that way for our family. I’m not saying it can’t work but having two different drivers in life can make it rough. I’m typically at the office by 5am in order to take part with my children’s extra curricular later. It can be a grind especially when I know my wife’s routine which involves leaving the gym and heading to a date with a Bull or bulls.

I’ll close by saying I hope this helped. I realize I laid out a lot that sounded negative but I think it’s best to err on the side of caution. Overall we do have a great relationship. My wife likened our situation to it being as if she didn’t get wet at all for sex and how that would feel for me. She said that’s the closest thing she can think of to relate to me having such a small dick. She said she gets the emotional and loving motivation for sex with me but the physical pleasure portion from her other partners. Right now it works unless the dry spouts keep occurring. Either way good luck and definitely be conservative in your approach.

 

[passion2n8]

We have been in the lifestyle (aging ourselves) for 21 years. Our suggestion is Keep Calm and Carry On. The Fantasy is always better than the reality. If you are obtaining intense results leave it there, because once you open Pandora's box the reality will always find its way to the Fantasy.
When you are no longer (both of you) obtaining the same results out of the Fantasy then broach the subject together.
One piece of advice we can not stress enough, you must be solid in your relationship, both of you must be able to communicate and discuss in an open forum your genuine feelings before, during, and many times after the encounter.

 

[BDG69]

I’ll keep it short and simple for you, because you 2 sound like a great, solid couple. Get some Black friendsShe’s obviously entertained by the fantasy..and I know there’s Black guys in the UK. Invite a mixed couple of guys(Black and white)over for a football match

(Arsenal fan here)

 

[lacbbc]

Pretty common on here from what I’ve seen. I will offer some advice and hope it helps as we do have some parallels. First I’ve learned there are benefits to keeping it fantasy, especially if you are monogamous which it sounds like you are. We were monogamous our first decade plus married and it slowly but yet quickly changed. Understand your relationship WILL change drastically whether for better or worse. Again, from a monogamous foundation, this will change the positives that come from the Sharing of each other with each other. If that’s something you greatly value I say keep it fantasy.

With that being said, if that’s not of top value, there still are great, bad, and everything that comes along with it. Ultimately it complicates things this is for sure. I was very closed and reluctant at first, much like your wife. Mine pushed for it subtly then not so subtly after years and years of role playing. At first it was exhilarating. Six or so months later and it’s just complicating. At first we had great sex which happened during and after her other partners and when just us. Over time though it’s become less frequent as up until a couple days ago we hadn’t had sex in a little over a month. Prior to I could give her an orgasm if she vibed her clit. It eventually moved to anal with a vibrator. Now she can’t even come close to coming unless she has something very large inside her.

I would also say to make sure you guys are on similar wave lengths with responsibilities in life. This has been a bit of an issue with us. I’m a frequent traveler with a busy work schedule. My wife stays at home and is incredible at providing in that way for our family. I’m not saying it can’t work but having two different drivers in life can make it rough. I’m typically at the office by 5am in order to take part with my children’s extra curricular later. It can be a grind especially when I know my wife’s routine which involves leaving the gym and heading to a date with a Bull or bulls.

I’ll close by saying I hope this helped. I realize I laid out a lot that sounded negative but I think it’s best to err on the side of caution. Overall we do have a great relationship. My wife likened our situation to it being as if she didn’t get wet at all for sex and how that would feel for me. She said that’s the closest thing she can think of to relate to me having such a small dick. She said she gets the emotional and loving motivation for sex with me but the physical pleasure portion from her other partners. Right now it works unless the dry spouts keep occurring. Either way good luck and definitely be conservative in your approach.

Thanks for your advice and it's always good to look at both sides of the situation, I'm quite an open minded person when it comes to sexual partners I could happily watch her with ether sex or even multiple people, we've been together for over 12 years and I think for some couples there becomes a time where you don't mind experimenting. But funnily she's happy with just me and hates the thought of me being with anyone else which I'm completely fine with my obsession is with her having the time of her life in some taboo situations. The idea of her getting so stretched that she can only orgasam with something big inside her turns me on loads and I'd happily use my tounge and dildos on her if that turned out to be the case.

If you can both lay down certain rules in place to avoid as many complicated situations then it all helps but at the moment we would treat the other person coming into our fantasy like a sex toy and get them out when we want to play and equalily have the fantasy put back away for the right time. (Or thats how you'd hope it to happen) have a block of time Friday night, next weekend or on holiday where we say let's have some fun and it's restricted to those areas and there are no burry lines. I think when sexual partners start to become involved in the relationship side it could be where things get tricky. But we have no experience in this and its all guess work but thanks for taking your time to explain your experience it's definitely made me think a little bit deeper into the possible issues and I hope you and your partner can find a sweet spot with it all.

 

[worshipu9]

Your probably actually doing ok just taking your time, maybe try and back away a little from the ir porn and dildos, concentrate on building her confidence more. Reassure her and show you love more. Make her feel sexy and confident when you go out x

Such great advice. Don't push her or she will probably go the other way.
Make her feel safe. Give her lots of love and tell her she is perfect for you, that she is sexy, that you can't live without her - really all the things a man should tell his soul mate anyway. But sometimes, we dont say those things enough.
If she feels loved and safe and is made to feel sexy (sexy as a woman needs nit sexy as un boneheaded men think sexy is!).
If/when she is ready she will take that all important first step.

 

[MacNfries]

I dont really want to ******* this stuff on her because I've edge towards that kind of approach before and she backs off quite quick.
What do I do now because we watch IR cuckold porn, we play with big black dildos and she has crazy orgasams with everything we do but every time I ask her about setting the real thing up she struggles with it.
Maybe some of you ladies and gentlemen have been In similar situations and if so, is there anything you did to soften the jump or to make her feel more confident and confatable to try it.
Thanks for taking the time to read this looking forward to your responses.

Have you sat down with her and just asked her 'straight forward' why she's reluctant?
Get her a bit relaxed with a few of her favorite alcoholic beverages and she may just tell you. She has a lot more to lose than you if this fantasy comes true and goes BAD, particularly if you have a full family at home.
I suggest you take her to a nice adult swing club (on their meet&greet hospitality night) and the two of you can talk to real people involved in "sharing sharing". I would have provided you a link of clubs near your location but you screen who can see your profile ... so, I don't know if you have done ANY kind of swinging at all, or if you have family, etc.
Simply call the clubs, or visit their website, get the info you need and take a virtual tour of the sites, then go ... see how the two of you react to simpy conversations with strangers. If all goes well, then take a bolder step.
It does take some of the "guess work" out of how a spouse might respond to being touched by strangers.

 

[OneAboutLife]

You’re welcome and it sounds like the right approach. We started off much like your end goal or intention and we lost that path rather quickly. That’s not to say though that the situations are just alike either. We entered our relationship on complete opposite ends of the sexual spectrum, me being very inexperienced and her the other extreme. I think similar backgrounds and definitely similar thoughts on sex would make for less ups and downs.

I think the other contributors who stress positive affirmation and love are spot on. My wife was the driver behind this and I was the reluctant one. The hardest time for us relationship wise with our lifestyle was when the lines between play and every day life were blurred, ie when we were in the midst of full cuckold which is very contrary to my personality. We’ve worked our way out of that and since talking and being completely open I’ve been the regular recipient of nightly blowjobs. It sounds overworked on here by the true knowledgeable crowd but communication, and a constant dose of it is the only thing that works and trust me it’s easy to fail at.

Ultimately it’s just starting slow and keeping the other person comfortable. I will say though that’s it’s difficult to say no if your wife would choose to or want to go outside of just get togethers where you are there, especially if you’re wife is really into it. I was adamant it would not happen with us and it turned contrary to that quickly. At first it was exciting especially when you get videos and pics. Before I knew it I realized with the busyness of life just can’t yield daily sex much less multiple times a day like my wife wants. It’s hard to describe as it’s almost like you feel that’s part of the sacrifice or a duly gift to have them happy. Either way just stay in the same page and stay firm in your boundaries.

And lastly yes you are right, it’s quite the feeling knowing my wife needs certain things and guys to get off. I’m not sure how much the genetic component plays but most guys all have some penis envy. When I watch my wife with a big black cock I feel a rush of emotions. First of all is damn I wish I had that. And second is seeing the pleasure she gets from it. Since June, and I know the hard numbers as she has a separate phone as we’re terrified one of our young ones will come across material, my wife’s had sex with 47 guys based on the contacts in her phone. I can say the excitement from watching has not at all subsided even though I’ve only been present for about half of those. We had a football watch party on Sunday which consisted of our couple friends who live a similar lifestyle, 3 of my wife’s bulls and 2 of the other friend’s bulls. From about 12:45 when they showed up until the last game was over at 7:15 my friend and I watched them get manhandled on and off. The excitement and pleasure from it is no less than it was the first time I saw it or the build up to it. To hear your wife talk about needing black dick, wanting to be treated like a slut, and calling herself a whore is almost as good as the actual act. If it’s right I hope it happens for you guys as there’s few things more beautiful than watching a white woman be dominated by black men.