I agree with you, I do not have an issue with people having fantasies but they should not lead others on or mistake fantasy for reality. Once your wife fucks another man it is to late for second thoughts and when you invite another man to fuck your wife he has his own desires and wants
I remember a guy sending me personal a private pictures without his wifes consent and I cut it off with him bc he never told me that his wife was aware of him giving out her pictures nude or x rated. It really bothered me that he did that bc he clearly violated her trust. I think if ur to join this lifestyle you need to be clear and on the same page about it.