Why am I holding her back?

[Bristolangela]

My girlfriend and I have had another weekend of drunken debarchery, followed by an almost full night of tears and discussions last night. To cut a massive story short she now wishes to confess all to her husband of twelve years about exactly what we get up to on her monthly visits to my flat. Ordinarily I would say " go girl " but the black guy she's hooked with, and is now expressing her undying love for, is eight years younger, a serial seducer, a general hoodster and generally not the dependable type! There is no way he will change after her no doubt obvious life change when her hubbie finds out. He's a successful guy and she enjoys a comfortable lifestyle with him and their *******!
AGGGGHHHH
Help!

 

[GAVnGIN]

But why doesnt she move towards making her husband a supportive cuckold?
Rather than throw away 12 years of marriage!?

 

[Bristolangela]

But why doesnt she move towards making her husband a supportive cuckold?
Rather than throw away 12 years of marriage!?

I have suggested that but she says he'd never go for it,
She's not like us, and she's hooked and in love!
Managed convince her to hold off saying she may lose everything here even her lover.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Angela youre a good friend and why is it ladies like your friend are always with guys who they think would never go for a cuckold lifestyle. Nobody would ever guess Im of that nature. And its not until the subject is approached in a sensible fashion that she will find out if it is possible. I wish her well i really do.

 

[Bristolangela]

Angela youre a good friend and why is it ladies like your friend are always with guys who they think would never go for a cuckold lifestyle. Nobody would ever guess Im of that nature. And its not until the subject is approached in a sensible fashion that she will find out if it is possible. I wish her well i really do.

Thanks, but she hasn't a dominant bone in her body she's real girlie girl.

 

[TexasPervySage]

Only you can answer that. Not sure why you or her think fucking another man behind her family's back takes priority or even makes a remote comparison to over a decade of marriage and a family.

If her side piece cant deal with it, that's his problem. And judging by the last sentence, she cares more about maintaining a standard of living that only her husband can provide aka husband makes some good money more than maintaining the family bond.

Lastly, the husband isn't even aware that shes cheating, so why would one think he would be open to being a cuck? Unless hes a total pussy. Shes has already been unfaithful so it got off on the wrong foot anyway. Springing it on him like "I've been cheating on you for a while but now I want to include you in it as a cuck, you know....to strengthen our marriage". Even willful cucks and their wives have an understanding. Doing him wrong and then though to do damage control by trying to turn it into something "special" to justify the wrongdoing as well as maintaining the lifestyle is just selfish.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Then you are an even more valuable friend to her Angela. Figure out a plan to carefully get her husband into IR sex and I bet she suddenly wants more of him anyway. But theres a million steps to take and plenty ladies here to advise on what ways to make him an Alpha cuckold even. Plenty dom white guys simply love seeing their lady having a great time. There must be a way forward with this guy. Do you know him well???

 

[GAVnGIN]

Only you can answer that. Not sure why you or her think fucking another man behind her family's back takes priority or even makes a remote comparison to over a decade of marriage and a family.

If her side piece cant deal with it, that's his problem. And judging by the last sentence, she cares more about maintaining a standard of living that only her husband can provide aka husband makes some good money more than maintaining the family bond.

Lastly, the husband isn't even aware that shes cheating, so why would one think he would be open to being a cuck? Unless hes a total pussy. Shes has already been unfaithful so it got off on the wrong foot anyway. Springing it on him like "I've been cheating on you for a while but now I want to include you in it as a cuck, you know....to strengthen our marriage". Even willful cucks and their wives have an understanding. Doing him wrong and then though to do damage control by trying to turn it into something "special" to justify the wrongdoing as well as maintaining the lifestyle is just selfish.

But there are many many wannabe cucks would love to have had a cheating girlfriend suddenly talk with them about alternative lifestyles and having additional lovers. Because most have had girls cheat on them many times and then ultimately break up. Breaking up isnt always the best answer to a lady having a bit on the side for more sexual fulfillment. Theres always a better way forward.

 

[Bristolangela]

Then you are an even more valuable friend to her Angela. Figure out a plan to carefully get her husband into IR sex and I bet she suddenly wants more of him anyway. But theres a million steps to take and plenty ladies here to advise on what ways to make him an Alpha cuckold even. Plenty dom white guys simply love seeing their lady having a great time. There must be a way forward with this guy. Do you know him well???

Reasonably well I would say although I've only met him a few times.
Part of me feels he may already suspect things are going on and just turns a blind eye,
I have a certain "reputation" and he must know or have been told.

 

[TexasPervySage]

But there are many many wannabe cucks would love to have had a cheating girlfriend suddenly talk with them about alternative lifestyles and having additional lovers. Because most have had girls cheat on them many times and then ultimately break up. Breaking up isnt always the best answer to a lady having a bit on the side for more sexual fulfillment. Theres always a better way forward.

Of course there are plenty of wannabe cucks. She doesnt know if her husband is one of those though. Banking on him being a cuck is not realistic and it's still selfish. Like I said before, it's damage control. The best way forward is to stop seeing the side dude, come clean to her husband and then go from there. Plenty of people want to fuck around outside their marriage but dont do it. Fighting temptation is a part of marriage.

I assume she doesnt want to come clean because:

1. She doesn't want to lose the lifestyle she currently has
2. She doesn't want to be separated from her *******(depending on how the custody battle goes)
3. The shame of gettin served divorce papers for cheating amplified by the fact that her side dude was black. Society tends to consider white women damaged goods after messing with brothers.

Not to mention, if the side dude is fucking hot girl raw, that isnt fair to the husband.

 

[Bristolangela]

Of course there are plenty of wannabe cucks. She doesnt know if her husband is one of those though. Banking on him being a cuck is not realistic and it's still selfish. Like I said before, it's damage control. The best way forward is to stop seeing the side dude, come clean to her husband and then go from there. Plenty of people want to fuck around outside their marriage but dont do it. Fighting temptation is a part of marriage.

I assume she doesnt want to come clean because:

1. She doesn't want to lose the lifestyle she currently has
2. She doesn't want to be separated from her *******(depending on how the custody battle goes)
3. The shame of gettin served divorce papers for cheating amplified by the fact that her side dude was black. Society tends to consider white women damaged goods after messing with brothers.

Not to mention, if the side dude is fucking hot girl raw, that isnt fair to the husband.

Two things,,

She WANTS to tell her husband, I'm the one preventing her from doing so,
She's been having extra marital sex because since the birth of their second there has been little or none at home.
This is why I feel he may just be turning a blind eye.

 

[TexasPervySage]

Two things,,

She WANTS to tell her husband, I'm the one preventing her from doing so,
She's been having extra marital sex because since the birth of their second there has been little or none at home.
This is why I feel he may just be turning a blind eye.

Wanting to do and actually doing it are two separate things. If she cared enough, she would actually do it whether or not he turned a blind eye. Not sure why a friendship is that influential over a marriage. It's one thing to mind your business when it comes to your friend's marriage but to be a enabling factor in their wrongdoing is another.

It also sounds like you dont care about the marriage as much as you care about your friend maintaining her lifestyle as well. Breaking up isnt always the best thing to do but a man can only take so much disrespect. I would maintain that energy if the roles were reversed. Also, divorce isn't the end of the world for a family. It's all about how its handled afterwards.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Of course there are plenty of wannabe cucks. She doesnt know if her husband is one of those though. Banking on him being a cuck is not realistic and it's still selfish. Like I said before, it's damage control. The best way forward is to stop seeing the side dude, come clean to her husband and then go from there. Plenty of people want to fuck around outside their marriage but dont do it. Fighting temptation is a part of marriage.

I assume she doesnt want to come clean because:

1. She doesn't want to lose the lifestyle she currently has
2. She doesn't want to be separated from her *******(depending on how the custody battle goes)
3. The shame of gettin served divorce papers for cheating amplified by the fact that her side dude was black. Society tends to consider white women damaged goods after messing with brothers.

Not to mention, if the side dude is fucking hot girl raw, that isnt fair to the husband.

It isnt fair when anyone is cheated on. But it happens. And come on.... theres a fair amount of Bulls here that have capitalised on this, No?
All im saying is that thwres a way forward and he may not be a wannabe cuckold, but if the two of them suddenly find a way to communicate better, she may be able to make him realise that she has a deep desire for more and that it could be something they share.

 

[TexasPervySage]

It isnt fair when anyone is cheated on. But it happens. And come on.... theres a fair amount of Bulls here that have capitalised on this, No?
All im saying is that thwres a way forward and he may not be a wannabe cuckold, but if the two of them suddenly find a way to communicate better, she may be able to make him realise that she has a deep desire for more and that it could be something they share.

Here's the thing.... i'm not one of those bulls and they aren't even the subject of this thread. And some men dont want to be cucks or with a woman that cheats in them. Women get dropped like bad habits for cheating. It happens. Yes, he may on the off chance want to be voluntarily degraded by his wife deep down, but how will they ever get that point if she cant even start that communication? She made a big girl decision but cant follow through on being a big girl when othe decision isnt in her favor.

This wannabe cuckold thing is a reach anyway. The average man does want his wife fucking other men in any form. The average woman doesnt want her husband fucking other women in any form. That's really a hail Mary you're throwing.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Here's the thing.... i'm not one of those bulls and they aren't even the subject of this thread. And some men dont want to be cucks or with a woman that cheats in them. Women get dropped like bad habits for cheating. It happens. Yes, he may on the off chance want to be voluntarily degraded by his wife deep down, but how will they ever get that point if she cant even start that communication? She made a big girl decision but cant follow through on being a big girl when othe decision isnt in her favor.

This wannabe cuckold thing is a reach anyway. The average man does want his wife fucking other men in any form. The average woman doesnt want her husband fucking other women in any form. That's really a hail Mary you're throwing.

Women cheat men cheat. Youre just looking for an argument. And straying from what the OP has asked for help with.
What is the average man? What is the average woman? You are talking about what is perceived in both cases.
And words like voluntarily degraded!? Really!? Here???? Come on.... human sexual psychology is far too large a topic to be discussed here quickly. But one persons idea of degradation is different from the next and we SHOULD be trying to give suggestions of a way forward not criticise her behaviour. So please make some suggestions that might help. If you have any?

 

[TexasPervySage]

Women cheat men cheat. Youre just looking for an argument. And straying from what the OP has asked for help with.
What is the average man? What is the average woman? You are talking about what is perceived in both cases.
And words like voluntarily degraded!? Really!? Here???? Come on.... human sexual psychology is far too large a topic to be discussed here quickly. But one persons idea of degradation is different from the next and we SHOULD be trying to give suggestions of a way forward not criticise her behaviour. So please make some suggestions that might help. If you have any?

Looking for an argument? No. Straying? No. You're just trying to justify what shes doing and have her save her skin as much as possible. "People cheat, it happens" is about as far from a solution as you can get and served no purpose. And yes, degrading. Let's not act like its suddenly a foreign concept in cuckolding. We know what goes into it.

Thing is, rather than suggest they talk about further sex lives(maybe the husband wants to sleep with other women as well or go to swingers clubs), you assume that him wanting to be a cuck is the only option. No need to break down what average means. We know what average means.

Lastly, you might be the one looking for an arguement by completely ignoring my suggestion in my earlier post or you just skimmed through it, but here it is:

"The best way forward is to stop seeing the side dude, come clean to her husband and then go from there". As analytical you are about my post, it's funny how you ignored the solution. I stated it with different wording in several posts. The bottom line is just tell the truth.

Another suggestion i mention in this current post, they both should talk about what they want sexually. Maybe the husband wants to try things with other women or even bring other people into the bedroom. If you can assume he wants something as specific as a cuck relationship, you can assume he wants to do other things sexually. The "he may want to be cucked deep down" is just an excuse to legitimize her disloyalty.


If you miss my suggestions again, I dont know what to tell you.

 

[GAVnGIN]

Looking for an argument? No. Straying? No. You're just trying to justify what shes doing and have her save her skin as much as possible. "People cheat, it happens" is about as far from a solution as you can get and served no purpose. And yes, degrading. Let's not act like its suddenly a foreign concept in cuckolding. We know what goes into it.

Thing is, rather than suggest they talk about further sex lives(maybe the husband wants to sleep with other women as well or go to swingers clubs), you assume that him wanting to be a cuck is the only option. No need to break down what average means. We know what average means.

Lastly, you might be the one looking for an arguement by completely ignoring my suggestion in my earlier post or you just skimmed through it, but here it is:

"The best way forward is to stop seeing the side dude, come clean to her husband and then go from there". As analytical you are about my post, it's funny how you ignored the solution. I stated it with different wording in several posts. The bottom line is just tell the truth.

Another suggestion i mention in this current post, they both should talk about what they want sexually. Maybe the husband wants to try things with other women or even bring other people into the bedroom. If you can assume he wants something as specific as a cuck relationship, you can assume he wants to do other things sexually. The "he may want to be cucked deep down" is just an excuse to legitimize her disloyalty.


If you miss my suggestions again, I dont know what to tell you.

Your suggestion of coming clean may not be the best answer. What if she comes clean and he divorces her immediately??
What if he has a bit on the side too?? We dont know do we.
What if she comes clean and the whole family is torn up over it.
So...... theres no going back now. She has discovered the excitment and pleasures and she will likely want that forever. So a more careful and tactful approach to this is a good idea.
Im not saying he will become a willimg cuckold one day but he may be open to swinging or watching or just putting up with her having a lover on the side. He could be a closet knicker sniffer. We have no idea. But, what is wrong with her trying to approach the subject pf fantasies and throwing a mention of interracial in there? Whats wrong with her suggesting they watch a little IR porn? Whats wrong with her asking if he has ever fantasised about her with another guy or gal or horse or whatever. Im trying to suggest that sometimes just keeping the mouth shut about whats gone on so far is a better bet.
He could be just like me and may move forward with glee when she mentions bringing another into their sex lives or whatever she might suggest.
Or he could be scared to death hes going to lose her so thats reason for maybe stomping his feet with a firm No. But with re assurance from his girl he could come round to just about anything. Because it is all possible. Anything.
She knows him best. She can best decide how to move forward. But our suggestions might help her a little. That would be nice.

 

[sailorwife]

I just found and read this thread. Situation it sound very complicated to me. I would like to find out how it ended (if ended).