What if the Wife Turns Up Pregnant?

Darkjumper said:
She just pretty much told you indirectly that you are you are not a real man. That last sentence about you not being assertive or virile enough, if you are comfortable with it, oh well. But something tells me you have concerns because you didn't expect to be sharing. Basically you gonna be just the financer it seems. True you will get to play 'daddy' when the real ******* is not around, but you are gonna get emotionally hurt trust me. You will build a bond with that baby since you will be around more than him, but you will have little say in his life.
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Yep, I worry about sharing. But in a way I have already shared my wife. It's only that I don't like that guy around in a different capacity. And I don't want him to "connect" with my wife at an emotional level. She loved sex with him a lot. I'm also worried she might be seeing me differently since I brought her into the lifestyel. I understand she wouldn't like the kid to be a cuck, but a strong man like his biological *******. To some extent, I agree that I do things in bed that not every straight man does. She may be fine with that but not for her kid. When I asked what if the kid is mine (most probably) she said he had me and if necessary my family, incl. my sister's husband if we need backup. Didn't like that bit but hey... And there's the cultural, ethnic side as well. None of us is black, and there she's right. My biggest fear is that this guy could start fucking her at a different level. I don't want to loose her.
 
ctcougar said:
Let's see you are not virile or assertive enough to be a ******* figure to a baby but somehow magically are virile and assertive enough to bring home enough coin to pay the bills. Or is this super virile and assertive bull going to pay?
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The baby would be the fruit of our sexual lifestyle, that is if it's the black guy's kid. It's an innocent human being that we would love as much as if he were our boy and not just hers. Let's put it this way: if he and I were thick friends, or if he were gay I wouldn't mind him being around us.
I get your drift. But, I won't bring in the payroll into the discussion with my wife though, unless it's necessary.
 
Goliathc said:
Yep, I worry about sharing. But in a way I have already shared my wife. It's only that I don't like that guy around in a different capacity. And I don't want him to "connect" with my wife at an emotional level. She loved sex with him a lot. I'm also worried she might be seeing me differently since I brought her into the lifestyel. I understand she wouldn't like the kid to be a cuck, but a strong man like his biological *******. To some extent, I agree that I do things in bed that not every straight man does. She may be fine with that but not for her kid. When I asked what if the kid is mine (most probably) she said he had me and if necessary my family, incl. my sister's husband if we need backup. Didn't like that bit but hey... And there's the cultural, ethnic side as well. None of us is black, and there she's right. My biggest fear is that this guy could start fucking her at a different level. I don't want to loose her.
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Goliathc said:
Yep, I worry about sharing. But in a way I have already shared my wife. It's only that I don't like that guy around in a different capacity. And I don't want him to "connect" with my wife at an emotional level. She loved sex with him a lot. I'm also worried she might be seeing me differently since I brought her into the lifestyel. I understand she wouldn't like the kid to be a cuck, but a strong man like his biological *******. To some extent, I agree that I do things in bed that not every straight man does. She may be fine with that but not for her kid. When I asked what if the kid is mine (most probably) she said he had me and if necessary my family, incl. my sister's husband if we need backup. Didn't like that bit but hey... And there's the cultural, ethnic side as well. None of us is black, and there she's right. My biggest fear is that this guy could start fucking her at a different level. I don't want to loose her.
Click to expand...
Man I am reading this and trying not to be mad, but I will respond objectively. Not to rub salt in a wound, but I'm one for hard truths. There is always a risk of all sorts of endings when you either get into or bring someone you love into a sitch that involves a third party sexually. Now, there is no going back because you can't put the milk back into the bottle, so all you can do now is prepare. Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum. Let me ask you this please. What is more important to you right now and for the future especially if he is yours? Do you want to be a cuck or not? I'm not saying either is bad for him, but you need to decide what kind *******, and more importantly what kind of man you want him to emulate. Those concerns you mentioned, if they mean that much to you then, I hate to say it, it's time to man up and handle it. Because when it's all said and done, you have to live with YOU. When you translate what I wrote, you will see what I mean, so I repeat, Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum.
 
My ex and I laughed about how she would tell guys to wear a condom or pull out because she wasn't on birth control and almost every time the guy would finish inside of her. We talked about what would happen if she ended up pregnant since nothing was 100% effective. Since we both embarked on this journey we decided that we would be in it for the long haul if that happened.
 
I think playing in this lifestyle and trying to involve an innocent baby can be a dangerous game. Not saying that it won't or can't turn out good, but it can be bad too. And of or when it does, I hope all involved accept responsibility and can be strong for the baby. It's one thing to do something planned like surrogacy or adoption for example, but when you go around just having unprotected sex and then get pregnant not knowing who the ******* is, that is never a good thing. ******* ask questions and I hope all are honest when the conversation of why they look different comes up.
 
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