It was very hard to tell my wife about these fantasies and desires (I told her I’d love to be cucked and then a few months later that I’m bi) but once I did we have become so much more open in our relationship and we both have made comments that it has brought us closer. Even though she hasn’t cucked me since early in our marriage unknown to me(I had suspicions) and I’m not sure she ever will we can still talk about it openly and have done some role play and I can keep hoping!
unknowing wives
- Thread starter ptownwhitney
- Start date
I have been very fortunate over the 3 relationships that were lifestyle/sharing based but the best has been my current (and with any luck forever) lady.
Lifestyle Experience 1 - Ex-Wife
With my ex-wife we stumbled into sharing pretty much by accident. Neither of us knew the terminology, or anything like that but fairly early through storytelling and role playing she enjoyed both larger cocks (dildos) and the notion of other men and for my part was turned by the notion of her enjoying same.
We carried on like that for quite a while until I just came out and asked her if she wanted to make the extra partner(s) and big cocks a reality. There was no tact, no lead up, I just straight up asked. She was game and we made it a reality. For myself, the first time she took a much larger cock than mine was such a mind blowing turn on for me, I knew that this was a lifestyle I would really enjoy.
We ended up going or separate ways but it was in no way a result of our sex lives.
Lifestyle Experience 2 - Jess
My second lifestyle relationship initially started out like many of the guys here in that I knew what I wanted but I was to afraid of a negative outcome to speak up.
The opportunity came up when she was approached by a great guy while we were in Vegas. Nothing happened there (contrary to most fantasy writings) but it did allow the topic to come up. She had been concerned that I was angry and jealous. I explained a bit of my experiences with my ex and that I was “Wired differently” than most guys.
She didn’t believe me at first and also made the standard comment about me bringing it up as a way to have sex with other women. Several weeks of discussion here and there about it and some teasing about the topic on her part and she began to realize that I was dead serious about the whole thing.
After some ground rules were laid out, we enjoyed a few years of great play sessions. Again we went our different ways but by then I was MUCH more comfortable talking about what I wanted.
Lifestyle Experience 3 - Katie
Katie I initially met while racing and we dated for a bit and then she moved away. There was no lifestyle play at all at that point but the relationship was super fun.
When she moved back to Calgary she looked me up and as I was single and she was single, we agreed to pick up where we left off. Right off though she opened up to me that over the years she had discovered she was bi and didn’t want to give that up if at all possible.
For my part I told her that not only was that not a problem but that I was totally fine with her enjoying both men and women at her leisure. Again we discussed things, laid out some rules (most of which went out the window the more lifestyle involved we got) and she and I crossed off a TON of sexual related bucket list items.
She ended up meeting a great girl and they clearly had “THAT” connection. I stepped aside and as far as I know they are still together.
This brings me to my current relationship. When I met B it was clear to both of us fairly quickly that we were fantastic together. I had typically dated much younger women but B is closer to my own age.
When we got serious with each other I knew I wanted to be honest with her about my desires and the way I’m “wired” as I like to call it in regards to sharing and lifestyle.
I was absolutely scared shitless about how she might react because if it was negative and she called it quits on us, I knew I would be crushed.
She was (and is) important enough to me that regardless of the outcome I had to be straight up with her.
I told her about my past, the fact that I really enjoyed watching my partners with other men and usually much better endowed men.
Now because I said at the beginning of my post this was the best relationship I’ve had, you might be thinking she said “That’s great!” and we’ve had non -stop sharing play sessions since then.
Well that would be wrong. After I told her, she sat there for a bit, asked a couple of questions and then said straight out “That’s not for me and I’m not interested in that at all”.
She didn't freak out, or storm out, call me a freak, perv, or whatever. She simply said that wasn’t for her. She went on to say if that was what turned me on and I needed it to have sexual satisfaction then she was fine with that but I would have to get it from porn or us roleplaying in the bedroom but beyond that it was a no go.
So why the hell am I here you might ask. Well over the time we have been seeing each other, she began to ask some questions about how “IT” (sharing) works, what sort of things are involved, etc.
We have watched videos on the subject and I signed up here so we could browse together and she keeps asking more questions. For my part I can help answer real questions about being in the lifestyle (I’m not into feeding other guys fantasy material) and can stay “in touch” so to speak with the lifestyle elements.
She hasn’t expressed any further interest beyond asking questions and some bedroom role playing and at the end of the day I’m fine with that. IF she ever wanted to take things further I would be happy (of course) but if not, I’m good with that too.
I know I wrote a huge amount of text here but I felt it was important to share both the positive responses I have had in opening up to my partners about my desires as well as the initial negative response I received.
Ultimately though, I 100% do not feel I’m missing out on anything. Partly because of the fact I’ve already enjoyed so much but in large part because my girlfriend and I have been able to communicate with each other and that is SO important.
Your S.O. shares in every aspect of your life and if you genuinely call them your partner, how can you withhold something as deeply seated as your sexual desires/feelings/emotions.
If you don’t feel that your relationship has the strong foundation of trust that you need to be able to open up, then that is the first thing that needs to be addressed.
Ok I’m stopping now. Sorry for the hugely long text wall.
Cheers!
Lifestyle Experience 1 - Ex-Wife
With my ex-wife we stumbled into sharing pretty much by accident. Neither of us knew the terminology, or anything like that but fairly early through storytelling and role playing she enjoyed both larger cocks (dildos) and the notion of other men and for my part was turned by the notion of her enjoying same.
We carried on like that for quite a while until I just came out and asked her if she wanted to make the extra partner(s) and big cocks a reality. There was no tact, no lead up, I just straight up asked. She was game and we made it a reality. For myself, the first time she took a much larger cock than mine was such a mind blowing turn on for me, I knew that this was a lifestyle I would really enjoy.
We ended up going or separate ways but it was in no way a result of our sex lives.
Lifestyle Experience 2 - Jess
My second lifestyle relationship initially started out like many of the guys here in that I knew what I wanted but I was to afraid of a negative outcome to speak up.
The opportunity came up when she was approached by a great guy while we were in Vegas. Nothing happened there (contrary to most fantasy writings) but it did allow the topic to come up. She had been concerned that I was angry and jealous. I explained a bit of my experiences with my ex and that I was “Wired differently” than most guys.
She didn’t believe me at first and also made the standard comment about me bringing it up as a way to have sex with other women. Several weeks of discussion here and there about it and some teasing about the topic on her part and she began to realize that I was dead serious about the whole thing.
After some ground rules were laid out, we enjoyed a few years of great play sessions. Again we went our different ways but by then I was MUCH more comfortable talking about what I wanted.
Lifestyle Experience 3 - Katie
Katie I initially met while racing and we dated for a bit and then she moved away. There was no lifestyle play at all at that point but the relationship was super fun.
When she moved back to Calgary she looked me up and as I was single and she was single, we agreed to pick up where we left off. Right off though she opened up to me that over the years she had discovered she was bi and didn’t want to give that up if at all possible.
For my part I told her that not only was that not a problem but that I was totally fine with her enjoying both men and women at her leisure. Again we discussed things, laid out some rules (most of which went out the window the more lifestyle involved we got) and she and I crossed off a TON of sexual related bucket list items.
She ended up meeting a great girl and they clearly had “THAT” connection. I stepped aside and as far as I know they are still together.
This brings me to my current relationship. When I met B it was clear to both of us fairly quickly that we were fantastic together. I had typically dated much younger women but B is closer to my own age.
When we got serious with each other I knew I wanted to be honest with her about my desires and the way I’m “wired” as I like to call it in regards to sharing and lifestyle.
I was absolutely scared shitless about how she might react because if it was negative and she called it quits on us, I knew I would be crushed.
She was (and is) important enough to me that regardless of the outcome I had to be straight up with her.
I told her about my past, the fact that I really enjoyed watching my partners with other men and usually much better endowed men.
Now because I said at the beginning of my post this was the best relationship I’ve had, you might be thinking she said “That’s great!” and we’ve had non -stop sharing play sessions since then.
Well that would be wrong. After I told her, she sat there for a bit, asked a couple of questions and then said straight out “That’s not for me and I’m not interested in that at all”.
She didn't freak out, or storm out, call me a freak, perv, or whatever. She simply said that wasn’t for her. She went on to say if that was what turned me on and I needed it to have sexual satisfaction then she was fine with that but I would have to get it from porn or us roleplaying in the bedroom but beyond that it was a no go.
So why the hell am I here you might ask. Well over the time we have been seeing each other, she began to ask some questions about how “IT” (sharing) works, what sort of things are involved, etc.
We have watched videos on the subject and I signed up here so we could browse together and she keeps asking more questions. For my part I can help answer real questions about being in the lifestyle (I’m not into feeding other guys fantasy material) and can stay “in touch” so to speak with the lifestyle elements.
She hasn’t expressed any further interest beyond asking questions and some bedroom role playing and at the end of the day I’m fine with that. IF she ever wanted to take things further I would be happy (of course) but if not, I’m good with that too.
I know I wrote a huge amount of text here but I felt it was important to share both the positive responses I have had in opening up to my partners about my desires as well as the initial negative response I received.
Ultimately though, I 100% do not feel I’m missing out on anything. Partly because of the fact I’ve already enjoyed so much but in large part because my girlfriend and I have been able to communicate with each other and that is SO important.
Your S.O. shares in every aspect of your life and if you genuinely call them your partner, how can you withhold something as deeply seated as your sexual desires/feelings/emotions.
If you don’t feel that your relationship has the strong foundation of trust that you need to be able to open up, then that is the first thing that needs to be addressed.
Ok I’m stopping now. Sorry for the hugely long text wall.
Cheers!
THANK YOU this is exactly the point I was trying to make!!!! if you have made your S/O that then why hide a huge part of who you are?? it my not happen but its out there in the open and either way its better than hiding and keeping secrets,, I honestly feel bad that he felt that he could not tell me that part of his desires but also understand because I reacted exactly how he feared but now its amazing how we have grown and more open to eachother now
lets bring this back to the top
Great thread
Lots of sensible advice
Lots of sensible advice
None of you guys have once mentioned some very important details....telling her how much you love her and that this is an experance you want to share with her, your not turning her out on the street or into a whore ( Altough if you're lucky or she's like me......) you love her dearly and this is just another experance you would like both of you to have.. When you tell us you want us to fuck someone else it hurts most the time even if we've thought of it because it's like you don't want us and are trying to be rid of us...you must approach it slowly and carefully except for those women who are chomping at the bit to be blacked..so slow down...bring home flowers for no reason...even a cheap card shows you're thinking about her even if you're not...hold us and most of all make sure we knows you will love us after....k
I do not know if I mentioned it here in this thread but I know I've talked about my love for my wife and how this could only work because my feelings are so intense for her. But I think your reminder is a good thing for men to remember.
I have my wife on a pedestal and only want the best for her so there is no way I would want this to happen unless I was certain a well endowed black man could make her feel special as a woman and make love to her in ways she has never experienced. It's probably trite to say this but this is a gift to my wife, and admittedly myself too.
For me it is an expression of intimacy. I am forgoing my ego in that I am offering her a lover that exceeds my own abilities with her in hopes she has a man that can give her a newfound appreciation for sex.
I have been hinting to have my wife to extend her sexual desires and encourge her to dress sexy and flirt with others even if Im in the same room, she's done a great job in completing those tasks. Where we stall is the next level, I have read several advices on the site, and understand the communication part and not asking for others to solve my issues, but a median that would take us over the hump. Things happen easy for some couples than for others, we are in the " other " department and Im okay with that, I could tell the honest post from the I wouldn't even dare have my wife go thru that post, crossing that level of security where we both are having fun is a goal that keeps our relationship fun and strong. Great thread.
Mine was brought out in the open by a friend who worked on my computer and saw what I had on there and told my wife and she confronted me and I got it out in the open
how has it been since?
AvgWhiteJoe
Male
I'm in the camp of "my wife knows my fantasy but has no desire to pursue anything". We had an open lifestyle a few years ago and she loved it. It was then I realized my desire to for her to experience bbc. A really close friend of hers was very encouraging of the open lifestyle and of her going black. It seems like everything I did only made her not want to do it. I tried the IR porn, the BBC dildo, even her best friend took her out bar hopping and clubbing without me and still nothing. We are in our mid 30s now. If my wife is ever going to go black I dont think it will happen till shes in her 40s and sex has just become an after thought. My wife knows she has free reign yet does nothing. And our sex life has went from a 7 out of 10 to a 2 since she stopped seeing her lover. Ironic that all I want is for her to fuck other men yet she has no desire to.
have you talked to her about it? why did things end with the other? and is there a lot of stress or something change in the household sometimes stress will ******* a sex drive.
One shouldn’t keep sexual secret desires from your lady. If thats the case then perhaps she isnt the one that you should be with. A healthy sex life is very important. Even if you dont have the cuckold desire, its still a good idea to keep the relationship strong, otherwise what the fucks point.
AvgWhiteJoe
Male
Yes I have confessed several times my desire for her to fuck other men and encouraged her to go out and "let loose" but she's set in her ways I guess. Things ended with her lover of 2 years because he fell in love and wanted her to leave me. We were "open" at the time but I found I got much more pleasure out of her escapades than I did pursuing other pussy. So it became a pseudo-cuckold situation and it was working very well. I would get her pussy warmed up and send her out. She'd stay at his place for an hour or two and then come back and we'd have sex. Sometimes she would film them fucking for me to watch and jerk off to later. We used to fuck back then about 5 times a week in addition to the 3 or 4 she and her lover would do. Now its about once or twice a month.
very true thoughts it is a very complecated path for all
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it has been fine she says when we are out she said when she is ready she will go for it keeps thinking no one would be interested in her I tell her she will be surprised once they are aware she is available
A lot of great information and input on this thread Well worth a read and follow . Open to learn all I can from it
ohh
(((((((((((((
need to bring this back to life
A very deep to the point thread ..
