This is getting serious!!!

[Seth1805]

Below this post will be a a letter I emailed my wife after she came home from work the other night and told me about something that happened with this black guy George she has been flirting with for several months. Yes, he knows she is married and she has even talked about me to him, but only the fact of me being retired military and whatnot.
You know our story by now, my wife works at a casino as a slot attendant and has flirted with black men since this all started but this guy is a frequent guest so she has gotten to know him personally. My wife noticed him awhile back and said he was a big man and really sweet and smells really good so she started giving him extra attention by showing up with his coffee and complimentary cigarettes before the cocktail waitresses could and then started greeting him with a hug. Those hugs she slowly turned into ones where she pushes her breasts into him to give him a good feel and she says he knows what she is doing.
Anyway she got home and said I need to tell you what happened today at work with George. She got into a nightgown and we sat of the bed and she said she was working and came around the corner and saw George standing by a slot machine and she walked up and hugged him and let out this long mmmmmmm sound and asked if he wanted his usual.
She said he said yes and said she hurried along and got his stuff and got right back to him and set his stuff down and said here you go and added this service comes with a hug and grabbed him around his waist and pressed her body into his. She said when she got done George jokingly said "makes me want to put a ring on it" and my wife said she held out her hand and showed him her wedding bands and said "there is already a ring on it but that does not mean I am not available." After that she said he laughed but she knew she had told him something that he wanted to hear, like it is okay to hit on me.
I asked her in shock "did you really do that" and she said yes and I asked "you showed him your rings" and she matter of factually said yes again. I asked her what happens next because you basically told him you want to sleep with him even though you are married and he is going to act on it one day. She said "I do not know" and I told her well you better be ready to at least engage in some banter with him to let him know it is a serious offer because at some point he going to proposition you but that you still want time to think about it at least.
The letter contains other things about the discussion we had and things she said to me, and one very graphic detail. It also talks of ideas on how to proceed.

My thing is I started this but all along it has been my wife out there alone initiating things with black men. And as you will read in my letter, I never once discussed this approach with her, she did this of her own volition.
And I can say without a doubt, her attraction to black men is why she started doing this. She said from the start if she was going to be with another man it was going to be a black man because she had no interest in white men and the only men she would consider are black men.
The things is I never in my wildest fantasies could see my wife being the one to initiate this because she is "faithful" to a fault so the thought of a hung black man making love to her must be overwhelming and very powerful for her to cross over this threshold. I always though I would have to find someone.
My wife does not play games so when she told George "she is available" I know it is not a question of if, but when she sleeps with him. Hell, she was late coming home from work tonight and it actually came across my mind that she might be talking to him on her off time.

 

[Seth1805]

Emailed letter to my wife. This is my way to coherently talk to my wife and get my thoughts out. I know it is odd but it works.

Hi there, Sending this hoping it is okay.

I guess it is "official" about us. If you can boldly tell a black man that you are married but that does not mean you are not available then there is no doubt where this is all going with you.
I must have struck a chord in you when I brought up the subject of you sleeping with a black man but never in my wildest dreams did I foresee you acting on this so intensely. It is obvious you find sleeping with a black man every bit as thrilling as I do, maybe more so now.
And what stuns me is that you were the one who actually initiated everything once I asked.. No discussion was had on how this happens, you just did it!! That must mean you have a very real attraction for black men and a desire to be taken by a black man I never anticipated. It tells me you you would not be doing any of this unless you felt you want this to go further.
George is an interesting situation and things could happen fast but I know "we" need time to figure out our next move now that you have said you are available. I can tell you are into him as a man by the way describe him as sweet so the chemistry is there. If you are indeed interested in having sex with him then let's talk some more.
If he starts propositioning you I suggest exchanging numbers and text with him to get more of a feel for him as a person but you need to stress that he must be discreet. By texting I believe you can find out over time if he is the man you want to sleep with. I think what is important here is taking your time and not feeling pressured, you can be up front with and tell him you want to take it slow so he understands that this is not happening quick if that is what you want.


Okay the following is me thinking out loud so bear with me. Of course tell me if I am incorrect or you disagree with anything I might say and tell me what you think.

Things that are going to come up in texts would be easy for you if you were single lol, but that is not the case and if you were single you would have already slept with him and the need for texts would not exist. I have no idea at what point or how the topic of you and him having sex will come up if you start texting with him but since you are married he might ask about me or either you are going to have to bring me up.
I am sure you have thoughts on what you might say to him, but like I said, you can tell him that I am not oblivious to what you are doing. Somehow you are going to have to ease in the fact we have discussed this and ask if he would be comfortable with me watching. (Suggestion Only) To that end, if he should ask who initiated this I believe it might be better if you said it was you. We both know I initiated it but since then it has been your desires that got us to here so I believe it is probably just as accurate, or more so, to tell him it was you looking to do this and that is how you spotted him.
You could say we watched an interracial movie together and that you found it erotic and told me so and things just snowballed after you said you had never slept with a black man (wording could be adjusted if need be if you do not want mention race) and hinted about doing it and that after awhile I gave in. Let's discuss this and find a way to keep it simple which I know you are good at.
If after all this he says he is uncomfortable with me being there then this all may be a moot, unless we can find some setting where he is comfortable. I do not know if suggesting if I watched from another room might work, but there might be options. If he says yes then the rest is up to you and him. Cannot believe I just typed that last sentence.
NOTE: You telling me you were "in your head" after you told him you were available and that you imagined getting off work and seeing him and you blew him a kiss........then you imagined him coming over to you and grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in and kissing you is some very strong imagery and I swear is as if you were telling me you want something like this to happen with him; like you want him to kiss you in way where it is unexpected and you never planned on it, it just happened. I could be wrong, but I think you want him to kiss you.
Not coaching you in this but you heard me say in bed if you and him talked outside after work in a "private" area you just might find yourself in this moment. And if I recall correctly, and I am paraphrasing here, you even alluded to the fact you do not think you could do it at "work" because it wasn't private; so if it was someplace else you would be comfortable with him kissing you?
And to be honest, and I hope I am not out of line here, and since you brought it up, if you had this in your head I could actually see you initiating a kiss with him. If you were next to him talking in a "private" area and found yourself in this situation where you both knew what you were thinking but you knew he was waiting for you tell him it was okay, that would be the moment I see you giving in to those emotions in your head and it just feels like you would go with it. I see it in my head and it is erotic as fuck.
Trust me though, if you should "see" George after work, like walking in the parking lot and stop to talk I am not going to object because I think it would interesting to hear what you talked about. Aaand, a tiny part of me is hoping that in that moment he makes that move you mentioned and starts to kiss you and you give in and let him. Is that too far or is that sexy?

Love Keith

 

[Seth1805]

I realize there is not much interest in actual couples working into this lifestyle, I would probably find it boring too. What throws me off me is the gross and unbelievable threads garner attention. If one actually believes there are wives out there getting gang banged by a bunch of dudes or interested in getting pregnant then who am I to say different.

I guess I use this place as a sounding board and to chronicle our journey in this. Having said that I can honestly say I am nervous now. During all of this I was always sure of this but now that my wife has someone out there whom she is interested in I have mixed emotions.
A part of me wants to say no but I won't because the other part of me is just sitting back and waiting to see where this all leads and if they decide to sleep together to just let it happen. My wife and him see each other without my presence so I imagine they have grown to know each other and that my wife puts a lot of focus on him. I remember how she was with me when we first met, very forward, and without a doubt I can see her being that way with him.
If she is the same with him as she was with me when we first met then I can assume at some point she is going to end up telling me she is sleeping with him. And because he is a black man I actually see her being more interested in having sex with him. And I am unable to say no because I got her emotionally involved in this and now that she has found someone I would feel like an idiot and a coward to ask her to back out knowing she wants to sleep with this guy.
And now that I've opened this Pandora's box of unforeseen outcomes, if I did ask her to stop there could always be this slim chance of her going ahead without me since I gave my consent and then got cold feet. My wife can compartmentalize with the best of them and rest assured if she feels she is doing no wrong because I got her into this and backed out she will have no problem setting aside any conflicting values over this.

Having said all that I still fantasize about her and him in our den or bedroom and seeing her giving herself up to him.

 

[Seth1805]

Thoughts???????????? And I have cold feet but in either case I am ready, I think lol

 

[Thecreature]

it sounds great man, i hope it go's well let us know!

 

[Seth1805]

it sounds great man, i hope it go's well let us know!

Thank you. I thought I would not have these mixed emotions but when you have been married to a woman for 34 years I found out that her coming home and telling me she likes this guy and told him she was available was surreal. This is not just cut and dry.

 

[geoffrya]

I realize there is not much interest in actual couples working into this lifestyle, I would probably find it boring too. What throws me off me is the gross and unbelievable threads garner attention. If one actually believes there are wives out there getting gang banged by a bunch of dudes or interested in getting pregnant then who am I to say different.

I guess I use this place as a sounding board and to chronicle our journey in this. Having said that I can honestly say I am nervous now. During all of this I was always sure of this but now that my wife has someone out there whom she is interested in I have mixed emotions.
A part of me wants to say no but I won't because the other part of me is just sitting back and waiting to see where this all leads and if they decide to sleep together to just let it happen. My wife and him see each other without my presence so I imagine they have grown to know each other and that my wife puts a lot of focus on him. I remember how she was with me when we first met, very forward, and without a doubt I can see her being that way with him.
If she is the same with him as she was with me when we first met then I can assume at some point she is going to end up telling me she is sleeping with him. And because he is a black man I actually see her being more interested in having sex with him. And I am unable to say no because I got her emotionally involved in this and now that she has found someone I would feel like an idiot and a coward to ask her to back out knowing she wants to sleep with this guy.
And now that I've opened this Pandora's box of unforeseen outcomes, if I did ask her to stop there could always be this slim chance of her going ahead without me since I gave my consent and then got cold feet. My wife can compartmentalize with the best of them and rest assured if she feels she is doing no wrong because I got her into this and backed out she will have no problem setting aside any conflicting values over this.

Having said all that I still fantasize about her and him in our den or bedroom and seeing her giving herself up to him.

don't think your on your own with those thoughts and reservations I know I was when I first agreed she could do it with my knowledge I kept wanting to back out

 

[Seth1805]

don't think your on your own with those thoughts and reservations I know I was when I first agreed she could do it with my knowledge I kept wanting to back out

Well that is good to hear. Ever since that night I have wrestled with these reservations. On the other hand, my wife is perfectly fine. She seems focused on them and what comes next.
And that time they spend together at the casino only serves to bring them closer together so the only thing I have to do is accept whatever comes.

 

[geoffrya]

by the sounds of it your ready to and have resigned your self to the fact she is going do it and your soon in sloppy seconds lol

 

[Seth1805]

by the sounds of it your ready to and have resigned your self to the fact she is going do it and your soon in sloppy seconds lol

I am ready, but the reality of it all is overwhelming. I do not care what others say, this is not as easy as a lot of people make it out to be, especially for husbands whose wife is getting caught up in another man. I envision a lot of things about my wife with this guy and her being passionate with him because he is a great lover is "scary." And the fact she has gotten to know him and likes him tells me she is already there with him mentally.
Sloppy seconds?

 

[beachguy20001]

Wow...good luck

 

[Seth1805]

Wow...good luck

Thank you. I do not know what happens from here. I am sort of waiting on what my wife decides to do. They see each other at her work so I have no idea what goes on.
I am nervous but if this does happen the one thing I am hoping for is he is this well hung stud in bed and my wife cannot help but acknowledge him as such. As much as she knows about him I am thinking she has some kind of idea about him

 

[jdflacpl]

don't worry about the cold feet, it happen's but trust me you will be fine. please keep us updated

 

[geoffrya]

I am ready, but the reality of it all is overwhelming. I do not care what others say, this is not as easy as a lot of people make it out to be, especially for husbands whose wife is getting caught up in another man. I envision a lot of things about my wife with this guy and her being passionate with him because he is a great lover is "scary." And the fact she has gotten to know him and likes him tells me she is already there with him mentally.
Sloppy seconds?

yes the first time you see her getting ready and the realisation that his cock is going be in the most intimate part of her body skin to skin and emptying his spunk in her will tear you apart with emotions and angst
the sloppy seconds are fucking her yourself in her already fucked pussy a feeling you will NEVER EVER FORGET If you can last 10 seconds inside her before you cum it will be a miracle, that's if you don't cum before

 

[Seth1805]

don't worry about the cold feet, it happen's but trust me you will be fine. please keep us updated

Easier said than done but thanks. I guess one the biggest thing is that I was in "control", at least so I thought, of all of this. I thought I was guiding my wife in all of this and that the flirting was her way of being titillated, I thought it was innocent.
I never realized just how serious my wife was and that her telling this guy she was available is a benchmark she set that I never counted on. Not being in control now makes me uneasy because I never know when this will happen and what to expect. I was expecting to watch but if this guy is not into that can I expect my wife just to walk away from this guy now that she has gone this far? I do have input but it hardly seems like i have the ultimate decision in this. She might modify our "rules" just to be with this guy and because she knows I like hearing about it when she flirts with black men she might be of the mindset she can tell me about him and her sleeping together after she gets home. Hell, she has already fantasized about him kissing her after work and that was never in our rules!!
Of course this is all conjecture on my part but it could very easily be my new reality.

 

[Seth1805]

yes the first time you see her getting ready and the realisation that his cock is going be in the most intimate part of her body skin to skin and emptying his spunk in her will tear you apart with emotions and angst
the sloppy seconds are fucking her yourself in her already fucked pussy a feeling you will NEVER EVER FORGET If you can last 10 seconds inside her before you cum it will be a miracle, that's if you don't cum before

I get the angst stuff. I never talked of having sex with her immediately after being with another man so I would not know what that would be like for me. I do not know if she would want that but you never know

 

[geoffrya]

its only something unless you have had that experience you will find so equisite
its absolutely mind blowing so silky and smooth and totally addictive

 

[Seth1805]

its only something unless you have had that experience you will find so equisite
its absolutely mind blowing so silky and smooth and totally addictive

It is mind blowing alright. I never knew my wife was going to be the one to go out and find someone,

 

[KRG]

First, kudos to you for actually communicating with your spouse about opening up your relationship.

Very refreshing.

The fact that you have some anxiety and angst around the “the first time” is completely normal. The reality of that is that you won’t know if going down this rabbit hole is a good or bad thing for you both until you actually do it.

Important thing is to keep the communication going (in whatever manner works for you both) on all fronts. Chances are your spouse may have some anxiety about it, how you will feel afterward and all that good stuff.

It can be overwhelming and trying to cover all the bases beforehand is pretty much impossible.

What has worked for me and my partners was to set some initial guidelines (I didn’t like calling them rules) and then agree to talk about situations as they come up.

Some things will happen that may surprise you (and her) but if you’ve already laid down the groundwork to communicate and “debrief” as it were, it should help things go more smoothly.

Again, using this framework worked well for me and my relationships but might not work for you so take what works, shape it to be your own and have some fun!

Cheers!

 

[Seth1805]

First, kudos to you for actually communicating with your spouse about opening up your relationship.

Very refreshing.

The fact that you have some anxiety and angst around the “the first time” is completely normal. The reality of that is that you won’t know if going down this rabbit hole is a good or bad thing for you both until you actually do it.

Important thing is to keep the communication going (in whatever manner works for you both) on all fronts. Chances are your spouse may have some anxiety about it, how you will feel afterward and all that good stuff.

It can be overwhelming and trying to cover all the bases beforehand is pretty much impossible.

What has worked for me and my partners was to set some initial guidelines (I didn’t like calling them rules) and then agree to talk about situations as they come up.

Some things will happen that may surprise you (and her) but if you’ve already laid down the groundwork to communicate and “debrief” as it were, it should help things go more smoothly.

Again, using this framework worked well for me and my relationships but might not work for you so take what works, shape it to be your own and have some fun!

Cheers!

I love it when someone posts a well thought out response that can actually be of help!!!

I am lucky my wife was receptive to it all. I hear from a lot of husbands who have the same desires but are afraid to ask their wives because it might ruin their marriage.

Going "down the rabbit hole" is going to be scary as hell because, like you said, seeing my wife with another man might be harder than I anticipate but I am going to have to deal with it. I am a detailed oriented person and I've tried to cover all the bases but as you said it is pretty much impossible. There are too many variables that comes with another man with my wife and how he takes care of business in the bedroom.

We have guidelines but my wife has already strayed from them by telling this black guy she is available and I am not going to call her out since I was the one who encouraged her to enter this lifestyle. I assume she felt as though she was at liberty to put herself out there in this way since I have relinquished my position as her sole partner.

We have talked about "surprises" and my wife was the one that emphasized I better be sure I can handle this because she might be "different" with a black man. She cautioned me I cannot get upset by the way she responds because I did not expect it.

Thank you for the feedback!!!!!!!!!