Okay so that’s all it in a nutshell so my question and concerns are these:
Is this even possible at this point or do I have to fulfill his fantasy first to get him to think this way ?
maybe. sometimes if you make the threat/risk factor high enough (bareback, fertile, ovulating, maybe even fall in love and leave you) it might shock/scare him back. then again, some don't respond until the act has happened and they're now sweating bullets waiting to see if you are indeed pregnant, or if you're falling in love and might leave him.
1.) If I don’t fulfill his fantasy will he always need those thoughts in order to be turned on ?
maybe not to be turned on, as you were focusing on hum actually cumming. that said, to actually cumm...it very well might.
2.) why can’t he be turned on by just me without the fantasy of me with a black men ?
there are many possible reasons... but something about being less then a beta male plays into this. also, it could be that he needs to imagine you being pleasured beyond his normal, perceived ability. it could also be a case of the "sperm competition" theory too.
3.) what if I do fulfill his interracial fantasy ? What will happen ?
if you do, it is likely to change YOU. i suspect it will forever be a part of your sexual psyche. you may find that you enjoy the experience so much, you're perfectly happy with him spilling his seed uselessly while watching...or just telling him about it.
then again, your instincts also will fully engage and override/overpower your mind.
remember too, that the shortest distance to a womans's heart is between her legs! hubby takes the long road, the BBC takes the sorter, more direct route!
this is always a risk. but to some sub-betas, itactually will set them off even harder.
Will things always be this way ? Will he still need to vision me with black men in order to cum ?
very likely. once he's wired himself sexually this way...its not usually undone.
I lovely hubby and that’s never gonna change and I obviously accept him for him so I’m just trying to understand all this and get an idea how far I need to go or how things need to progress and what’s normal and what’s not?
i'd NOT worry about what's normal. also, it really comes down to YOU!
what you should ask yourself is, how do YOU feel about the idea of having sex with a black man?
...with hubby watching and wanking off? ...or completely without him?
does the interracial porn (with a woman similar to you) actually turn YOU on?
...do you see yourself in it?
...does some part want to be her?
these are the sort of questions you should be asking...of YOURSELF!
what matters most here in regard to whether or not to make the fantasy real, is what YOU want.
so, what do YOU really want, if you cannot change him???