My wife gets upset when I cant cum if we arent talking dirty about bbc. She feels like I am.not into.her but that is not true. Its just ao hot to share her
The only way my husband can cum is to the thought of me being blacked
- Thread starter destinybebe33
- Start date
nr.2 He can be turned on by u alone also..So, my husband introduced me to this lifestyle, as he calls it. He said that it all started when we were first together and both of us were on and off . During the times he were broke up we both were messing around with others just being dumb back then until we finally settled down together and quit all the games. He tells me that he obsessed on the thought of what the guys I hooked up with, were doing to me. I never gave him details and I didn’t want to know details on the women he messed with , so I figured it was just in the past and that’s where it would stay. Boy was I wrong !!!
Okay, so what my husband told me is that he pictured me having sex with others and it turned him on thinking of me having amazing sex and oral with them and even kissing and touching . He said the thought of all that made him hard just sitting at work or in the car driving or at home . Then he said he wondered who specifically I was seeing and hooking up with and his imagination went straight to Black Men . Why I asked? He said he wasn’t entirely sure but when he thought about it he said it’s probably because of the skin contrast that makes white women stand out more in interracial ! He explained to me if I was with a black man , I would stand out greater and look more beautiful and hot! He said it’s like a spot light would be casted directly on me or something. He said he would search for women in porn with the same look as me , hair color , even tramp stamp and other tats that I have . Also he would search for women with the same body frame and age and hopefully facial features. He said he’d search for porn women with my look and when he’d find one he would then see if they had interracial scenes. if they did , he would masturbate to the scenes and look at it as me having sex with the black guy or guys as if it was really happening! He told me that he loves the way I ride so cowgirl position was his favorite to watch in interracial porn . Anything I like to do in sex would turn him on more , if the porn girl did it with the black guy. So this is how it started , he told me . This he secretly did during our entire relationship from the beginning he said! I had no idea!
Now!!! Okay so we’ve been together for 15 years and just recently this past couple of years he’s been telling me he wants to see me blacked . He explained that he’s been fantasizing about it for so long he almost needs it fulfilled at this point . Needs? He said it’s constantly on his mind ! He said it would be the greatest turn on of his life . And now he’s telling me that when we have sex that 100% of the time he is picturing me with a black man . He said that he’s picturing the black guy looking at me and fucking me and turned on by me . Seeing my white body glowing and intertwined with his dark ebony skin and him touching and sucking on my big white titties as they’re bouncing in his face . He said he pictures how a black guy will have to grab my heart shaped booty as he’s deep inside of me . he’s imaging how good my tight white Pussy must feel wrapped around his big black dick ! These are my husbands exact words btw!! Lol He said that he thinks of all that every second during sex with me. He also said that he notices black guys checking me out and holds on to every moment when they try to flirt with me or elevator eye me in public . Those thoughts are also floating in his head during sex . He even thinks of the future possible sex that I might be having with black men . He said this is all engraved in his mind 100% of the time and it’s the only way he can cum . He said that without these thoughts he absolutely cannot climax or ejaculate! So I’ve tried to help him reach his climax by talking dirty as if I was with a black man things I might say . Like I’ll say .” Fuck this white pussy !” I’ll say, nut up in this white pussy!” And. Very rarely I’ll say ,” I need Black dick “ when I talk this way in sex, he cums almost immediately, but when I don’t it takes him way longer cuz I guess he’s picturing me in interracial sex concentrating on it in order to cum.
Okay so that’s all it in a nutshell so my question and concerns are these:
I want him to want me for me sometimes ! Not just me with a black guy . I want him to be able to cum with just the thought of me ! Is this even possible at this point or do I have to fulfill his fantasy first to get him to think this way ? My other questions are these :
1.) If I don’t fulfill his fantasy will he always need those thoughts in order to be turned on ?
2.) why can’t he be turned on by just me without the fantasy of me with a black men ?
3.) what if I do fulfill his interracial fantasy ? What will happen ? Will things always be this way ? Will he still need to vision me with black men in order to cum ?
I lovely hubby and that’s never gonna change and I obviously accept him for him so I’m just trying to understand all this and get an idea how far I need to go or how things need to progress and what’s normal and what’s not?
Any help from experienced people in this lifestyle would be greatly appreciated
But sometimes other men work harder to become sexual with an image in his head, so everytime he sees u his body remembers if there were any other men there in his mind that made an impression.. its really subtle and hard to notice or resist sometimes..
So also therefore extremely hard for men to explain it.
Its like he can work hard for 10 hours and this 1 man looked at him angry for 4 second too long..
BAM fantasy about that man with his wife 4 weeks later.
This is also partly why in some parts of the world it is war constantly.
The sexual ******* within us is extremely survival based reproductively also..
It forces us to submit to potential dangers either through war or submission..
The sex ******* inside us do not accept a compromise. It just sits there.. waiting for a conclusion.. closer and closer.. "Soon it will happen"
I tried coping with this by acting extremely aggressive towards women for 5 years straight on tinder..
Yes I got insanely good sex out of it..
But my entire life got destroyed in the process, suddenly I cannot watch movies play video games anymore because my emotional system is completely destroyed and sexualized after trying to imprint my body dominance on so many different women..
Yes I began to cuck men and some began to submit to me, but I am also white, and I partly did it to compete with blacks..
But still I have never been so far down in hell before as when I felt like a bull and almost vomited in disgust of my own behaviour after cucking a couple with the hottest babe.
Sitting alone in my moms basement for 5 years completely alone and lonely was 1000 times better than being a bull.
trust me.
The abillity to feel happiness feelings outside of acting like a psychopath vanishes.
You cannot smile or have fun with friends anymore, or joke around, the abillity vanishes,
the women I dated girl friends secretly confessed they were scared of me, and my voice scared them even when I just talked to be nice.
The jim carrey movie u watched 10 years ago that u loved, is now extremely annoying.
You cannot feel 1% laughter of the movie anymore.
You start to feel like an alien or some weird monster from another planet.
Zombies starts to feel like a more delightful human than you are. etc..
At the bus or other places you find yourself staring back with very dark eyes at random strangers, wondering why are they looking so terrified?
Also not to mention you abuse your own natural sexual system also..
its almost like ******* yourself.
forsing your natural sex cycle to perform at 1000% capacity to become as dominant as possible.
The only positive thing about all this is: Yes women suddenly stops whining and submits 100%
Along with their husbands
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And here I am wondering how the hell blacks survives being so extreme.
My thoughtsSo, my husband introduced me to this lifestyle, as he calls it. He said that it all started when we were first together and both of us were on and off . During the times he were broke up we both were messing around with others just being dumb back then until we finally settled down together and quit all the games. He tells me that he obsessed on the thought of what the guys I hooked up with, were doing to me. I never gave him details and I didn’t want to know details on the women he messed with , so I figured it was just in the past and that’s where it would stay. Boy was I wrong !!!
Okay, so what my husband told me is that he pictured me having sex with others and it turned him on thinking of me having amazing sex and oral with them and even kissing and touching . He said the thought of all that made him hard just sitting at work or in the car driving or at home . Then he said he wondered who specifically I was seeing and hooking up with and his imagination went straight to Black Men . Why I asked? He said he wasn’t entirely sure but when he thought about it he said it’s probably because of the skin contrast that makes white women stand out more in interracial ! He explained to me if I was with a black man , I would stand out greater and look more beautiful and hot! He said it’s like a spot light would be casted directly on me or something. He said he would search for women in porn with the same look as me , hair color , even tramp stamp and other tats that I have . Also he would search for women with the same body frame and age and hopefully facial features. He said he’d search for porn women with my look and when he’d find one he would then see if they had interracial scenes. if they did , he would masturbate to the scenes and look at it as me having sex with the black guy or guys as if it was really happening! He told me that he loves the way I ride so cowgirl position was his favorite to watch in interracial porn . Anything I like to do in sex would turn him on more , if the porn girl did it with the black guy. So this is how it started , he told me . This he secretly did during our entire relationship from the beginning he said! I had no idea!
Now!!! Okay so we’ve been together for 15 years and just recently this past couple of years he’s been telling me he wants to see me blacked . He explained that he’s been fantasizing about it for so long he almost needs it fulfilled at this point . Needs? He said it’s constantly on his mind ! He said it would be the greatest turn on of his life . And now he’s telling me that when we have sex that 100% of the time he is picturing me with a black man . He said that he’s picturing the black guy looking at me and fucking me and turned on by me . Seeing my white body glowing and intertwined with his dark ebony skin and him touching and sucking on my big white titties as they’re bouncing in his face . He said he pictures how a black guy will have to grab my heart shaped booty as he’s deep inside of me . he’s imaging how good my tight white Pussy must feel wrapped around his big black dick ! These are my husbands exact words btw!! Lol He said that he thinks of all that every second during sex with me. He also said that he notices black guys checking me out and holds on to every moment when they try to flirt with me or elevator eye me in public . Those thoughts are also floating in his head during sex . He even thinks of the future possible sex that I might be having with black men . He said this is all engraved in his mind 100% of the time and it’s the only way he can cum . He said that without these thoughts he absolutely cannot climax or ejaculate! So I’ve tried to help him reach his climax by talking dirty as if I was with a black man things I might say . Like I’ll say .” Fuck this white pussy !” I’ll say, nut up in this white pussy!” And. Very rarely I’ll say ,” I need Black dick “ when I talk this way in sex, he cums almost immediately, but when I don’t it takes him way longer cuz I guess he’s picturing me in interracial sex concentrating on it in order to cum.
Okay so that’s all it in a nutshell so my question and concerns are these:
I want him to want me for me sometimes ! Not just me with a black guy . I want him to be able to cum with just the thought of me ! Is this even possible at this point or do I have to fulfill his fantasy first to get him to think this way ? My other questions are these :
1.) If I don’t fulfill his fantasy will he always need those thoughts in order to be turned on ?
2.) why can’t he be turned on by just me without the fantasy of me with a black men ?
3.) what if I do fulfill his interracial fantasy ? What will happen ? Will things always be this way ? Will he still need to vision me with black men in order to cum ?
I lovely hubby and that’s never gonna change and I obviously accept him for him so I’m just trying to understand all this and get an idea how far I need to go or how things need to progress and what’s normal and what’s not?
Any help from experienced people in this lifestyle would be greatly appreciated
1- He’ll probably always have those thoughts, I had them before my wife started fucking other men and now that she does I still think of her with other men every time I jerk off
2-It’s not that you don’t turn him on it’s that he wants you satisfied and he knows you’ll be more satisfied sexually with another man
3-If you do fulfill his fantasy it will make him more into it and he’ll want you to do it again and again
J
Jellycapone
Guest
I think I'm personally happy at the fantasy me and my wife really enjoy it and it turns us on like hell. We been together 12 years and when she says she means what she says during sex like she would let a black guy fuck her or us have a threesome with a black guy she says after she means it during sex but after she doesn't think she could go do that to me and it could ruin our relationship and the reality won't be as good as the fantasy and I think we both feel comfortable at the stage we are at now .
could be right . enjoy the fantasy together and be happy .
i agree with her fantasy and reality is not same .
with my exwife we had a fantasy of meeting a dom . couple . it was a hot idea _ but we never met the right ones .
at last we gave it up .
J
Jellycapone
Guest
I think with the fantasy it's kind of more intense as she craves it and so do I and we don't want to make a reality then it be a disappointment. Then it will be ruined and then might make our relationship rocky . She says some really naughty stuff . I even said to her the other night would you let a black cock in your ass whilst we was fucking and she said I'd let him do whatever he wants. Was so hot . After we finished she said I wouldn't really let him in my ass . As much as this fantasy turns me on I don't think I'd like it in real life I only love you and I love it something we share and turns us both on I wouldn't do it with nobody else. We are soul mates so that's good enough for me . We got the black dildo as u can see in my media of her riding it ! I'm lucky enough for that
but she definitely gets super wet over talking about black cock she says it's my fault I got her into it 
i am happy for you guys . go on and enjoyI think with the fantasy it's kind of more intense as she craves it and so do I and we don't want to make a reality then it be a disappointment. Then it will be ruined and then might make our relationship rocky . She says some really naughty stuff . I even said to her the other night would you let a black cock in your ass whilst we was fucking and she said I'd let him do whatever he wants. Was so hot . After we finished she said I wouldn't really let him in my ass . As much as this fantasy turns me on I don't think I'd like it in real life I only love you and I love it something we share and turns us both on I wouldn't do it with nobody else. We are soul mates so that's good enough for me . We got the black dildo as u can see in my media of her riding it ! I'm lucky enough for that
J
Jellycapone
Guest
Thanks. Fantasys are a healthy thing so I think it's good to stay that way
I had something similar a while ago and didn't like that.So, my husband introduced me to this lifestyle, as he calls it. He said that it all started when we were first together and both of us were on and off . During the times he were broke up we both were messing around with others just being dumb back then until we finally settled down together and quit all the games. He tells me that he obsessed on the thought of what the guys I hooked up with, were doing to me. I never gave him details and I didn’t want to know details on the women he messed with , so I figured it was just in the past and that’s where it would stay. Boy was I wrong !!!
Okay, so what my husband told me is that he pictured me having sex with others and it turned him on thinking of me having amazing sex and oral with them and even kissing and touching . He said the thought of all that made him hard just sitting at work or in the car driving or at home . Then he said he wondered who specifically I was seeing and hooking up with and his imagination went straight to Black Men . Why I asked? He said he wasn’t entirely sure but when he thought about it he said it’s probably because of the skin contrast that makes white women stand out more in interracial ! He explained to me if I was with a black man , I would stand out greater and look more beautiful and hot! He said it’s like a spot light would be casted directly on me or something. He said he would search for women in porn with the same look as me , hair color , even tramp stamp and other tats that I have . Also he would search for women with the same body frame and age and hopefully facial features. He said he’d search for porn women with my look and when he’d find one he would then see if they had interracial scenes. if they did , he would masturbate to the scenes and look at it as me having sex with the black guy or guys as if it was really happening! He told me that he loves the way I ride so cowgirl position was his favorite to watch in interracial porn . Anything I like to do in sex would turn him on more , if the porn girl did it with the black guy. So this is how it started , he told me . This he secretly did during our entire relationship from the beginning he said! I had no idea!
Now!!! Okay so we’ve been together for 15 years and just recently this past couple of years he’s been telling me he wants to see me blacked . He explained that he’s been fantasizing about it for so long he almost needs it fulfilled at this point . Needs? He said it’s constantly on his mind ! He said it would be the greatest turn on of his life . And now he’s telling me that when we have sex that 100% of the time he is picturing me with a black man . He said that he’s picturing the black guy looking at me and fucking me and turned on by me . Seeing my white body glowing and intertwined with his dark ebony skin and him touching and sucking on my big white titties as they’re bouncing in his face . He said he pictures how a black guy will have to grab my heart shaped booty as he’s deep inside of me . he’s imaging how good my tight white Pussy must feel wrapped around his big black dick ! These are my husbands exact words btw!! Lol He said that he thinks of all that every second during sex with me. He also said that he notices black guys checking me out and holds on to every moment when they try to flirt with me or elevator eye me in public . Those thoughts are also floating in his head during sex . He even thinks of the future possible sex that I might be having with black men . He said this is all engraved in his mind 100% of the time and it’s the only way he can cum . He said that without these thoughts he absolutely cannot climax or ejaculate! So I’ve tried to help him reach his climax by talking dirty as if I was with a black man things I might say . Like I’ll say .” Fuck this white pussy !” I’ll say, nut up in this white pussy!” And. Very rarely I’ll say ,” I need Black dick “ when I talk this way in sex, he cums almost immediately, but when I don’t it takes him way longer cuz I guess he’s picturing me in interracial sex concentrating on it in order to cum.
Okay so that’s all it in a nutshell so my question and concerns are these:
I want him to want me for me sometimes ! Not just me with a black guy . I want him to be able to cum with just the thought of me ! Is this even possible at this point or do I have to fulfill his fantasy first to get him to think this way ? My other questions are these :
1.) If I don’t fulfill his fantasy will he always need those thoughts in order to be turned on ?
2.) why can’t he be turned on by just me without the fantasy of me with a black men ?
3.) what if I do fulfill his interracial fantasy ? What will happen ? Will things always be this way ? Will he still need to vision me with black men in order to cum ?
I lovely hubby and that’s never gonna change and I obviously accept him for him so I’m just trying to understand all this and get an idea how far I need to go or how things need to progress and what’s normal and what’s not?
Any help from experienced people in this lifestyle would be greatly appreciated
I totally relate to your husband in this post. Unfortunately as a white man once you see the beauty of a white woman with a black man, you realize there is nothing hotter and more special between the contrast, the size, and the passion that interracial couples have. Even watching porn the same girl with a BBC cums 1000% harder than she did with a white guy, no matter his size. It’s just a fact of nature that we have come to accept it and appreciate. Your husband being turned on by seeing you with a BBC is a huge compliment since he thinks you deserve the ultimate pleasure which can only be given to you by big black cock! You take it any direction you want to with him and make sure you are the one who is happy with the result
lmao sometimes I wonder how I get so creative with my posts
We have been in this lifestyle for over 3 years. It has become normal for us. Anything different is abnormal. I developed my preferences before I met her. She is my second wife. I only dated women who had openly dated black men previously.
Yes. It will always be this way. It's the only way I am satisfied. It is also the only way she is satisfied. Yes, I want her for her, but I'm only attracted to women who have relationships with black men anyway.
This is our normal, everyday life. If she skips a night, our marriage is off balance.
Hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Yes. It will always be this way. It's the only way I am satisfied. It is also the only way she is satisfied. Yes, I want her for her, but I'm only attracted to women who have relationships with black men anyway.
This is our normal, everyday life. If she skips a night, our marriage is off balance.
Hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Ok, as a self-identifying cuckold who loves his wife very much and lives in a chastity cage nearly 24/7/365, I feel like I need to say PLEASE IGNORE ALL THESE REPLIES SAYING THINGS LIKE:So, my husband introduced me to this lifestyle, as he calls it. He said that it all started when we were first together and both of us were on and off . During the times he were broke up we both were messing around with others just being dumb back then until we finally settled down together and quit all the games. He tells me that he obsessed on the thought of what the guys I hooked up with, were doing to me. I never gave him details and I didn’t want to know details on the women he messed with , so I figured it was just in the past and that’s where it would stay. Boy was I wrong !!!
Okay, so what my husband told me is that he pictured me having sex with others and it turned him on thinking of me having amazing sex and oral with them and even kissing and touching . He said the thought of all that made him hard just sitting at work or in the car driving or at home . Then he said he wondered who specifically I was seeing and hooking up with and his imagination went straight to Black Men . Why I asked? He said he wasn’t entirely sure but when he thought about it he said it’s probably because of the skin contrast that makes white women stand out more in interracial ! He explained to me if I was with a black man , I would stand out greater and look more beautiful and hot! He said it’s like a spot light would be casted directly on me or something. He said he would search for women in porn with the same look as me , hair color , even tramp stamp and other tats that I have . Also he would search for women with the same body frame and age and hopefully facial features. He said he’d search for porn women with my look and when he’d find one he would then see if they had interracial scenes. if they did , he would masturbate to the scenes and look at it as me having sex with the black guy or guys as if it was really happening! He told me that he loves the way I ride so cowgirl position was his favorite to watch in interracial porn . Anything I like to do in sex would turn him on more , if the porn girl did it with the black guy. So this is how it started , he told me . This he secretly did during our entire relationship from the beginning he said! I had no idea!
Now!!! Okay so we’ve been together for 15 years and just recently this past couple of years he’s been telling me he wants to see me blacked . He explained that he’s been fantasizing about it for so long he almost needs it fulfilled at this point . Needs? He said it’s constantly on his mind ! He said it would be the greatest turn on of his life . And now he’s telling me that when we have sex that 100% of the time he is picturing me with a black man . He said that he’s picturing the black guy looking at me and fucking me and turned on by me . Seeing my white body glowing and intertwined with his dark ebony skin and him touching and sucking on my big white titties as they’re bouncing in his face . He said he pictures how a black guy will have to grab my heart shaped booty as he’s deep inside of me . he’s imaging how good my tight white Pussy must feel wrapped around his big black dick ! These are my husbands exact words btw!! Lol He said that he thinks of all that every second during sex with me. He also said that he notices black guys checking me out and holds on to every moment when they try to flirt with me or elevator eye me in public . Those thoughts are also floating in his head during sex . He even thinks of the future possible sex that I might be having with black men . He said this is all engraved in his mind 100% of the time and it’s the only way he can cum . He said that without these thoughts he absolutely cannot climax or ejaculate! So I’ve tried to help him reach his climax by talking dirty as if I was with a black man things I might say . Like I’ll say .” Fuck this white pussy !” I’ll say, nut up in this white pussy!” And. Very rarely I’ll say ,” I need Black dick “ when I talk this way in sex, he cums almost immediately, but when I don’t it takes him way longer cuz I guess he’s picturing me in interracial sex concentrating on it in order to cum.
Okay so that’s all it in a nutshell so my question and concerns are these:
I want him to want me for me sometimes ! Not just me with a black guy . I want him to be able to cum with just the thought of me ! Is this even possible at this point or do I have to fulfill his fantasy first to get him to think this way ? My other questions are these :
1.) If I don’t fulfill his fantasy will he always need those thoughts in order to be turned on ?
2.) why can’t he be turned on by just me without the fantasy of me with a black men ?
3.) what if I do fulfill his interracial fantasy ? What will happen ? Will things always be this way ? Will he still need to vision me with black men in order to cum ?
I lovely hubby and that’s never gonna change and I obviously accept him for him so I’m just trying to understand all this and get an idea how far I need to go or how things need to progress and what’s normal and what’s not?
Any help from experienced people in this lifestyle would be greatly appreciated
"you need to take control of him"
"Be in Charge and Take Control"
"you should put his sissy-clit in a cock-cage"
There is an unbelievable number of sweaty, sexually deficient, cuckold-wannabe men who are so bloody obsessed with their feminization/emasculation fantasies that they preach it like it's gospel, and like anybody who deviates from the archetype in their wet dreams is doing it wrong or something. Anybody who starts sentences like, "ALL white bois need to be..." or "You need to control him by..." is fantasizing. There's nothing inherently wrong with fantasizing, but anyone acting like there's only one type of couple out there and one-fantasy-fits-all is stuck in the same kind of feedback loop your husband is in. They're excited to read about a married white woman who might start fucking black men and they short circuit. The fantasy just doesn't get them off unless your reality looks exactly like the extreme way they imagine it in their fevered incel brains.
As a few have pointed out, the real question here is what actually works for you and your husband? Does he WANT to be a cuckold, or even submissive to you in any way? And if so, is that something YOU want to entertain? Maybe the so-called stag/vixen thing is more your speed? Maybe becoming swingers who look for interracial couples or black males? Do you like the idea of being with black men, or is it something you'd only consider to make your husband happy? If the latter, do you have any ground rules for how things should play out in order for you to be comfortable? Are there things YOU fantasize about that you also want to fulfill as you start this adventure?
For me and my wife, the journey started as an open relationship, so strict monogamy wasn't ever really our M.O. We were people who dated but sometimes played with others, we became swingers (as a couple), went through various phases where one of us took more advantage of our sexual freedom than the other, then kind of focused on femdom themes, dabbled in chastity, found her libido rising after losing most of the baby fat that came with birthing our children, she decided she wanted to hookup with a hung black guy (and loved it WAY more than she expected to), she took an interest in the BDSM themes that have excited me for ages, but only wants to be dominant with me, and wants lovers she can explore being submissive to, and here we are. All of this evolved organically. It's only worked because we communicate very openly and honestly about our feelings and desires. We check in with each other constantly, and we let things develop in a way that adds to our happiness and the strength of our marriage. We both consider ourselves extremely lucky to have each other.
Obviously, your path will look very different from ours. But the ingredients for success are the same, in my opinion. You and your husband will have to figure out what excites both of you, and evaluate what is only of interest to one or the other of you. For the stuff that's really more his fantasy than yours, you'll have to decide how far you want to go to fulfill his fantasy, and what kinds of things you need in place to keep it mutually satisfying and not one-sided. As far as ways you might consider testing the waters, maybe go to a night club where there are frequently lots of black gentlemen, and try dancing with them while hubby sits at the bar and watches. Maybe it goes further, or maybe that alone gives the two of you plenty of fodder to go home and hump like bunnies, recounting how hot it was with you grinding on strong black men at the club. Or, maybe talk to your hubby about what kind of man you might *consider* hooking up with. Play it up as a fantasy, but let him go on this site or any of the various swingers sites or dating services, make a profile, and have him start to create a list of people he thinks you might be interested in meeting. Let him interact with or "vet" them, to whatever degree works for you. Maybe look at a few profiles he's identified before the two of you have sex. If/when one of the prospects excites you, take your hubby to the bedroom and tell him all the things you would do with the man he just showed you. Maybe you eventually reach out to one of them, or have your hubby arrange an introduction using Kik or WhatsApp or something similar, so you can see what the guy is like and whether you vibe with him. Maybe you eventually schedule a meet up at a local bar, to see if there's mutual chemistry and everyone involved wants to take things further. If you eventually schedule a playdate, maybe you want your husband present every time you hook up. Maybe having him there the first time makes you feel safer and more secure, but after that you find you're less inhibited going on playdates solo, and sending hubby pictures or video clips. Or maybe you just make him sit and visualize it while you're out playing, coming home to tell him the story while the two of you reconnect. Will you offer him "reclamation" sex in the form of sloppy seconds, or will tell him you're spent, and make him try to fall asleep next to a wife who's just had her brains fucked out by another man? All those details are things you and your hubby will probably want to discuss, and unlike what much of the so-called advice here would have you believe, there is no right or wrong way to do any of this.
It's really fun to see a woman thinking about this stuff, so I get where a lot of the overzealous advice comes from. I too am anxious to read about how things develop, and hope you'll keep us all updated. But certainly don't do things you're not comfortable doing, or worry that you can't try certain parts of this without jumping full-speed into chastity, ****** bi or feminization play, or anything else that may not appeal to you. At the very least, it seems you're husband wants you to have the freedom to experience great sex with others, and it seems like the ball is largely in your court in terms of how you choose to explore that. My advice is to talk as frankly with your hubby as you can about ways you might enjoy exploring that freedom, buckle up, and enjoy the ride together!
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That is such a toughtful and enlightning answer. Its truly great to see that kind of intelligent writing and I'm in awe with your own journey Jemma&Herbie. Real advice from experienced People like yourself in this Lifestyle is a treasure.
I just want to add that to destinybebe33 that you could also test the Waters by going out on a gurls Night out with your girlfriends.
While fantasies can get carried away, it’s important to know that it has to be built on top of an existing solid foundation. If this fantasy is all a couple has in common and if for whatever reason one loses interest in the kink, relationship is over. But if you have other things you connect over first like hobbies or whatever, this should really more like the icing on the cake sorta deal
Exactly how it should be. Would love to have him do just anything u tell him
Who decides "how it should be?" Internet randos? She didn't even say her husband is (or wants to be) submissive to her.
I also just realized that in my haste to excoriate the sea of wannabes projecting their own obsessed fantasy on you, and give you more realistic alternative ways you might explore your husband's fantasy, I didn't directly answer your questions. At least not fully. Sorry about that, let me try again.
I hope that's at least a little bit helpful in understanding your husband's thoughts and desires, whether you decide to explore this "lifestyle" or even just open yourself up to an isolated experience or two. I still recommend talking to your husband more about specifically what kinds of things he wants to see, and see if you think they'd be enjoyable, or perhaps propose a compromise that might work better for you. It's all about making sure your relationship is in a solid place and deciding what the two of you want to explore together.
It's hard to say for sure. I know that I was fantasizing about my wife getting fucked much harder, deeper, and for longer than I was able to fuck her myself, pretty much constantly. I knew my wife liked looking at black men, and the vast majority of porn that showed women getting fucked the way I wanted to see my wife get fucked was interracial. So I almost always fantasized about seeing her with a black man. It was fortunate that when I brought it up, she found it a sexy thing to imagine as well. We talked about the beauty in the contrast between fair and dark skin tones that you and your husband have talked about, and I found lots of gorgeous professional shots of gorgeous people, in artistic but erotic poses (and of course lots of filthy hard-core interracial internet porn, too). She was obviously turned on by what I showed her, and as she was beginning to explore her sexuality again after something of a hiatus during childbirth, she decided she wanted to try being with a strong black man. To this day, I still mostly fantasize about seeing her with black men, because every time I have witnessed it, it's been amazing and intensely erotic. After about 3 years of her having exclusively black lovers (besides me), I am able to sometimes fantasize about other scenarios, but when we take a short break from chastity or when it's been awhile since she's had a black lover, it never takes long for that to be what I'm imagining again. All that is a long way to say that this can be a very powerful kind of mental image. If my wife had never decided she wanted to try it, I have a feeling I never would have totally gotten over wanting it and imagining it. And even now that she has, I don't think I'll ever stop wanting it for her. Obviously your husband could be different, but let's just say I understand the kind of obsession you're describing, and can tell you it can be very difficult for a man with these proclivities to reprogram himself.
Just because he pictures you with black men when he's excited doesn't necessarily mean you aren't turning him on yourself. For me, the whole allure was seeing how powerful hung, black men look and how completely the women they are with get fucked. I know it's a stereotype, and I know it doesn't always look like it does in porn (though we've been fortunate to have had some pretty amazing bulls who really can fuck her for hours on end and make her cum over and over again). But the point is, I love my wife more than anything. I think she's the sexiest creature on the planet. Yes, I was always fantasizing about the interracial imagery I found online, but it's because I wanted to see the love of my life, who turned me on more than anything, get to experience sex in a way I just literally can't give her. I'm of average endowment, but men with much bigger cocks hit places inside her and give her sensations I never could. I have average stamina (or less, after long periods of chastity play), but when she's not looking for a life partner, she can take lovers who are naturally more athletic than I am, or who spend most of their free time in the gym or fucking, and keep themselves in the kind of shape I can't. To put it crudely, she loves taking a huge cock for hours at a time. I can't do that. Similarly, I will always be white, and I come from the same whitebread communities she does, so black men will almost always be interesting for her to get to know. I won't ever be able to give her that exotic feeling or the contrast in skin tone, body type, background, etc. that black men can. So it's never been that my wife can't turn me on by herself, or that she's not sexy enough for me without a fantasy like this. For me, it's just that she turns me on so much and I love her so much that I want her to have the best, most exciting, arousing, and fulfilling sexual experiences possible. And she's even MORE sexy and desirable when she's released all her inhibitions and letting herself feel pure, unbridled, naughty pleasure. For us, strong black men provide more of all that than most other men can, whether for strictly physical or also psychological reasons.
Again, I can't speak for everyone who's ever pictured his wife getting fucked by black men, but for me, the fantasy didn't go away as soon as my wife tried it. If she had said, "well, that was hot, but now I want to try a Latin man," or, "you know what? I think it's high time I fucked an Italian guy," I am sure I would have been able to move on with her. For me, it's all about her not being tied down to only one man, having the freedom to do things women in our society are programmed starting at an early age not to do. Her health and happiness have increased since we started exploring this, and from the beginning, my desire came from wanting to see her fucked in a way I never could. If she was finding that outside of exclusively black men, I could maybe learn to fantasize about whoever was doing it for her instead. But as it stands, this is what I envisioned, she agreed that it was something she wanted to try, and I still fantasize about it because it's fucking hot when she does it.
I hope that's at least a little bit helpful in understanding your husband's thoughts and desires, whether you decide to explore this "lifestyle" or even just open yourself up to an isolated experience or two. I still recommend talking to your husband more about specifically what kinds of things he wants to see, and see if you think they'd be enjoyable, or perhaps propose a compromise that might work better for you. It's all about making sure your relationship is in a solid place and deciding what the two of you want to explore together.
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RedheadedWife
Couple
Here’s a suggestion , on YouTube there is a woman who has several videos that explain all aspects of this fantasy/fetish called cuckold. She particularly goes into the interracial aspect. She is very non biased and explains it well check out her YouTube channel. Mistress Nurture. If you search for cuckold on you tube she will definitely come up. Good luck
