The Line between being your Bull and being your Boyfriend

S

SirBAO

Male
Real Person
Gold Member
The line

I have been reading the threads for the past year and I have to ask "Where do we draw the Line between being a bull and being someone's second husband?"

I see people saying that their bull takes her out on dates without the husband or their wife stays at a bull's house for weeks and I am left to wonder is being a bull more than a sexual position or have these couples transferred their sexual desires into an emotionally dependent connection.

Women, how do you define the love you have for the bull and the one for your husband if you spend so much none sexual time alone with the bull.

Husbands, what is it about having her spend so much time alone with the bull that appeals to you?

Bulls, do you still feel like a sexual outlet for the couple or as a boyfriend with emotional responsibilities.

I've just been extremely curious about this as I've been reading a lot on it lately.
 
I’m nobody’s sexual outlet and I don’t want to be. There must be some level of good chemistry for the sex to be amazing. You simply can’t do with with just a penis. If any woman talks about love that’s my queue to exit the situation. No strings attached is the second most important rule after respect. On a side note, you really should narrow this question down to one thing because
 
Maybe i will be unpopular, but in my opinion Bull is a bull... Its not about dates, restaurants, movies and bla bla bla....
Bull comes, doing with wife what he wants and what he is alowed to do, and then go home or what ever...
Its not about love, its abaut fun... if you go to swinger party you dont search for love there, you searching for some good time with strangers, so having fun with bull its the same only with some fetish aspect...
Of course you can fall in love... but its not what we searching for.
 
i`d say it`s all about the mix. If i was offered to choose, i would`ve preferred a relationship with a Woman that`s about 20% physical/sexual and 80% emotional/romantic connection between her and me, and 80% physical/sexual and 20% emotional/romantic between her and her regular lover. ;) However i know that`s only a play with numbers and cannot be translated (easily) into a real-life situation. :(
 
I love my sec life and what hubby introduced me too. My bulls are my fuck dates or fuck boyfriends. That's it!!!! I may meet one at bar or lunch while hubby ar work then we go duck. I use him he uses me then head home to ******* and hubby. In most cases hubby is thier watching and join but that's it I love my man and his beautiful hispanic cock
 
SirBAO said:
The line

I have been reading the threads for the past year and I have to ask "Where do we draw the Line between being a bull and being someone's second husband?"

I see people saying that their bull takes her out on dates without the husband or their wife stays at a bull's house for weeks and I am left to wonder is being a bull more than a sexual position or have these couples transferred their sexual desires into an emotionally dependent connection.

Women, how do you define the love you have for the bull and the one for your husband if you spend so much none sexual time alone with the bull.

Husbands, what is it about having her spend so much time alone with the bull that appeals to you?

Bulls, do you still feel like a sexual outlet for the couple or as a boyfriend with emotional responsibilities.

I've just been extremely curious about this as I've been reading a lot on it lately.
Click to expand...
in my entire adult life time, I've had maybe 5 serious girlfriend relationships plus a marriage which produced two children, and a few accidental pregnancies with other women. Throughout all that I probably bang anywhere between 150 to 200 beautiful women. That included one night stands, friends with benefits, ongoing hookups, wives, girlfriends, full-time bull, threesomes, group fun, orgies, gamgbangs, Etc... most of those had nothing to do with love and emotions... but it gave me the chance to bang a lot of incredibly hot women.
Its an implied contract, a woman decides which guy gets to fuck her... Hopefully I'm that guy. No questions asked. Enjoy!
 
Blkgent97002 said:
I’m nobody’s sexual outlet and I don’t want to be. There must be some level of good chemistry for the sex to be amazing. You simply can’t do with with just a penis. If any woman talks about love that’s my queue to exit the situation. No strings attached is the second most important rule after respect. On a side note, you really should narrow this question down to one thing because
Click to expand...

To be honest man and with respect you are someone’s sexual outlet if you are fucking a married woman. A bull is the epitome of a sexual outlet because she isn’t getting what she needs our wants sexually from her husband so she is, for a lack of a better term using the bull to get what she’s missing.

The chemistry part I understand you wouldn’t fuck her if you didn’t have chemistry. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about wives who spend more non-sexual time with their bulls like a week away from their husbands and family or just goes on dates with the bull. In those cases is he a bull or is he more?

And you never finished your statement on why I should narrow my question you ended at “because” don’t leave me on a cliff hanger man lol
 
RIC226 said:
Fuck no. What is wrong with you? They hoes.
Click to expand...

Lol I’m just trying to understand the point of views of these individuals I’ve been reading these forums and I’m just surprised by the entire concept. Personally after the interaction is done it’s time to go home but some folks want to stay and play house.
 
BlackFantasy said:
Maybe i will be unpopular, but in my opinion Bull is a bull... Its not about dates, restaurants, movies and bla bla bla....
Bull comes, doing with wife what he wants and what he is alowed to do, and then go home or what ever...
Its not about love, its abaut fun... if you go to swinger party you dont search for love there, you searching for some good time with strangers, so having fun with bull its the same only with some fetish aspect...
Of course you can fall in love... but its not what we searching for.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. It’s a sexual relationship that you go into as adults knowing that it ends once all parties achieve their sexual needs. Unfortunately I look at those who attach the whole dating and week long sabbaticals with their bulls as individuals who may actually not be satisfied with their hubby beyond the bedroom
 
mywayintermsofsex said:
i`d say it`s all about the mix. If i was offered to choose, i would`ve preferred a relationship with a Woman that`s about 20% physical/sexual and 80% emotional/romantic connection between her and me, and 80% physical/sexual and 20% emotional/romantic between her and her regular lover. ;) However i know that`s only a play with numbers and cannot be translated (easily) into a real-life situation. :(
Click to expand...

I can see that and seems fair enough
 
heaven said:
I love my sec life and what hubby introduced me too. My bulls are my fuck dates or fuck boyfriends. That's it!!!! I may meet one at bar or lunch while hubby ar work then we go duck. I use him he uses me then head home to ******* and hubby. In most cases hubby is thier watching and join but that's it I love my man and his beautiful hispanic cock
Click to expand...

I can appreciate that I personally get uncomfortable when husbands ask me to take their wives on dates. I’m like that’s not my job she’s in love with you I’m here to do the unadulterated pornographic nastiness lol
 
MagicMikeATX said:
in my entire adult life time, I've had maybe 5 serious girlfriend relationships plus a marriage which produced two children, and a few accidental pregnancies with other women. Throughout all that I probably bang anywhere between 150 to 200 beautiful women. That included one night stands, friends with benefits, ongoing hookups, wives, girlfriends, full-time bull, threesomes, group fun, orgies, gamgbangs, Etc... most of those had nothing to do with love and emotions... but it gave me the chance to bang a lot of incredibly hot women.
Its an implied contract, a woman decides which guy gets to fuck her... Hopefully I'm that guy. No questions asked. Enjoy!
Click to expand...

i get that but this was more geared towards those couples who ask a little more of their bulls than the sex
 
“Women, how do you define the love you have for a bull...”

As a woman who has had experience with just one “bull”, I’m not sure I could define the love i had for him with just a title...though I’m sure that’s not what you’re searching for.

I never had a boyfriend. That sounds strange I’m sure, but I met my husband when we were both in elementary school and never had another relationship outside of him...that is until about 3 years ago. My “bull” was my first “boyfriend”, other than my husband...but it didn’t start out that way.

At first, he was my “bull” in the classic definition of it. It was purely sexual. That’s not to say there wasn’t chemistry. I agree with the poster above that there has to be some level of chemistry in order for the sex to be as good as it can be. But our time together was strictly within the bounds of sex.

As our chemistry continued to build, he became more than my “bull” and at some point became my “boyfriend”. We no longer restricted our dates to my or his house, but started going out on dates and even weekends together away.

I did love him...though it was largely less than my love for my husband. I think its hard to define love. If not for my husband, I would have chosen to be with him...in reference to free time and to “love”.

I may have just muddied the waters :)
 
MagicMikeATX said:
"Bulls, do you still feel like a sexual outlet for the couple or as a boyfriend with emotional responsibilities."

I gave an expanded answer to that question.
Click to expand...

Umm no you didn’t, you just basically told us you get a lot of pussy... you didn’t address if you’ve been in a situation where they, being a married couple, asked you to do more than just have sex. You didn’t say if you were ok treating her as if she was your woman and not just your sex partner so I don’t mean to call you out but you didn’t answer the question at all.
 
Sands1984 said:
“Women, how do you define the love you have for a bull...”

As a woman who has had experience with just one “bull”, I’m not sure I could define the love i had for him with just a title...though I’m sure that’s not what you’re searching for.

I never had a boyfriend. That sounds strange I’m sure, but I met my husband when we were both in elementary school and never had another relationship outside of him...that is until about 3 years ago. My “bull” was my first “boyfriend”, other than my husband...but it didn’t start out that way.

At first, he was my “bull” in the classic definition of it. It was purely sexual. That’s not to say there wasn’t chemistry. I agree with the poster above that there has to be some level of chemistry in order for the sex to be as good as it can be. But our time together was strictly within the bounds of sex.

As our chemistry continued to build, he became more than my “bull” and at some point became my “boyfriend”. We no longer restricted our dates to my or his house, but started going out on dates and even weekends together away.

I did love him...though it was largely less than my love for my husband. I think its hard to define love. If not for my husband, I would have chosen to be with him...in reference to free time and to “love”.

I may have just muddied the waters :)
Click to expand...

Best answer!
 
AlphaRyder said:
Warning: Long post - hopefully helpful.

Like most dynamics in the lifestyle, many have become diluted, and the classical definitions lost as terms become part of colloquial vocabulary.

The term “Bull” in the lifestyle context came from the holistic description “Cuck and Bull”. The term Cuck deceives a specific dynamic. And the term Bull similarly something specific.

Namely, the Bull describes a man that both the husband and wife acknowledge is both mentally and sexually dominant. The female acknowledges this by surrendering to the Bull and finds both sexual and holistic nourishment from basking in his dominant energy. The male acknowledges this by: (i) supporting both the Bull and his wife, (ii) finding his own sexual satisfaction by the surrender of his wife to the Bull, eschewing social norms.

Before people go ballistic - let me be clear. That IS what a Bull is. And that IS what a Cuck is. Period. Again, it’s a clear dynamic that’s hundreds of years old.

So what happened?

Well as swinging, polyamory, and non-monogamy became more prevalent, people started wife swapping, sharing, and inviting others into the bedroom.

Eventually, it morphed into any guy who fucks another man’s wife is a “Bull”. And any husband who allows his wife to get fucked by another man is a “Cuck”. Both are incorrect.

So the punchline? The answer is yes to every scenario. In short, it’s up to THE BULL, what being THE BULL means. The only criteria for being THE BULL is that BOTH husband and wife agree that THE BULL is the dominant male - sexually and mentally. If the holistically dominant bull wants to bang her out twice a year. That’s cool. If he wants to do dinner and drinks once a week. That’s cool too. As long as both parties in the couple acknowledge that dominance - He is THE BULL.

If there is not that buy-in about THE BULL’s dominance. Then, sad to say, he IS NOT A BULL. A guy in that case is just a guy (JAG) that fucks another dudes wife. Some couples back in the day call it “stunt dick”. Others may call him a friend or lifestyle partner. Or. BBC in the interracial world.

Over the years - Bull became incorrectly synonymous with a man other than the husband who fucks a wife.

Point is - acknowledged dominance is the key.

I was verbose, but hope it was helpful.
Click to expand...

This was a great post man. Definitely opened my eyes to some intricacies of the evolution of the lifestyle
 
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