Stag Vixen (non-cuckold)

[Dblinsey]

It`s disillusioning how terms are being used, misused or reinvented. i`m already giving up on that one.
(referring to "hotwife", "cuckold", "bull", "queen of spades", ...)

Words are important, they help define us to others. When you hear 'Doctor' you immediately think of medical professional, but he may have a doctorate in physics! This is why we use the terms in this lifestyle and correct those who call my husband a 'cuck'

Terms we don't use are "Hotwife", "Cuckold", and "Queen of Spades" - However, I do refer to my Black lover as a Bull - he likes it, hubby likes it and I like it - besides, there isn't any other adequate term for the role he plays. I have used 'playmate' a few times as well, but it doesn't have the impact (IMO) that "Bull" has.

Another issue is the term for the woman. Already stated that we don't like 'Hotwife' or 'QoS' - but there must be something that's complementary to 'Bull' If anyone has ideas, I'm quite interested!

Finally, while we're on the topic of the importance of words.... I DETEST the words 'WHORE' and 'SLUT'!!!!

The guy begs his wife, who was quite content with her husband, to go Black. Then he starts calling her a whore or slut - the woman he supposedly loves; the woman who probably bore his children, yet he degrades her like that! Unless, as in all things, the woman likes it, then there isn't any excuse for it!

Okay, will get off my soapbox now.

Love all the recent comments!

Donna

 

[Wifelovesbbc10]

This is spot on in how we think about it too

100% agree... This is how we think...

 

[Jdingo619]

From the time I became active in the swing lifestyle as a select single male or a bull I have always believed that there were various levels to swinging and cuckolding. I am 100% straight and though after 10 years of being a bull i have never had a husband eat my load out of his wife I don't think that I would actually care either. I personally wouldn't find any pleasure in it but I wouldn't care either way. I have been contacted and invited by numerous bi couples to play with them and engage in acts that straight men do not participate in but always respectfully declined even though I would have really loved to fuck the ******* out of the wife. I have seen many cuckold videos of bulls participating in bi activities just to fuck the wife because she is hot but sorry if it's not in you to do it then you will not participate in such acts. Never had to humiliate anyone and don't think that I would either.

 

[Cleprcouple]

Hubby here I been in lifestyle for almost 20 years . I introduced my wife now to lifestyle. I’m a stag . I never understood the humiliation part of it but to each is own. As long as it’s respect loyalty in the relationship everyone wins

 

[DubbteeTX]

We have had a similar situation since we started. I will not tolerate a Bull who humiliates my husband - for any reason. My husband will not tolerate a Bull who humiliates me - for any reason. We are in this together, as equals. We endorse the Stag/Vixen lifestyle 100 percent!

I total agreement, that is exactly how we operate.

 

[James Moody]

We agree completely with this, as someone above said, I think that cuckold couples are actually a minority in this lifestyle, but they seem to dominate the online presence with their fantasies.

Seems every Swede and German woman/couple I see lately is sexy as fuck - and you are a prime example. Thank you for being in the lifestyle.!

 

[Dblinsey]

Okay, time for me to crawl back up on my soapbox again...

Humiliation goes both ways. While we tend to focus on the husband being humiliated, and most people on this thread tend to agree that they aren't into that aspect of the lifestyle, might I call attention to wife humiliation?

A husband may suggest to his wife that she try a black guy. All well and good. The ball is now in the woman's court; she can either agree to try it or refuse. Up to her, no problem.

Now, the husband brought up the topic and she agrees. She is subsequently "Blacked" shall we say, and NOW the husband refers to her as a 'whore' or 'slut!" What's up with that? She did what he suggested, now he's treating her like trash? I can say, if my husband or my Bull, were to call me that, there would be SERIOUS words!

A person can jokingly say that a 'slut' is simply a woman with a male sex drive, but still, unless she likes the terms, and uses it herself, the conduct (in my book) is inexcusable!

A woman is on a diet. Her husband gives her a cookie. Now he calls her a fat pig? Come on people, she is supposed to be the love of your life! There isn't any cause for that (IMO).

I have received e-mails from men in this forum and they've asked "How long have you been a Black Whore" or "Black Slut yet? Tell me about it"

Each and every one of those guys got a full page of how I thought about them and never responded again.

Okay, I feel better now. I don't call my husband a 'wimp cuckold boi' and he doesn't call me a 'BBC Slut' Respect goes in both directions!

<< Picture me crawling down off my soapbox, returning to my normal pleasant self>>

Donna

 

[James Moody]

Okay, time for me to crawl back up on my soapbox again...

Humiliation goes both ways. While we tend to focus on the husband being humiliated, and most people on this thread tend to agree that they aren't into that aspect of the lifestyle, might I call attention to wife humiliation?

A husband may suggest to his wife that she try a black guy. All well and good. The ball is now in the woman's court; she can either agree to try it or refuse. Up to her, no problem.

Now, the husband brought up the topic and she agrees. She is subsequently "Blacked" shall we say, and NOW the husband refers to her as a 'whore' or 'slut!" What's up with that? She did what he suggested, now he's treating her like trash? I can say, if my husband or my Bull, were to call me that, there would be SERIOUS words!

A person can jokingly say that a 'slut' is simply a woman with a male sex drive, but still, unless she likes the terms, and uses it herself, the conduct (in my book) is inexcusable!

A woman is on a diet. Her husband gives her a cookie. Now he calls her a fat pig? Come on people, she is supposed to be the love of your life! There isn't any cause for that (IMO).

I have received e-mails from men in this forum and they've asked "How long have you been a Black Whore" or "Black Slut yet? Tell me about it"

Each and every one of those guys got a full page of how I thought about them and never responded again.

Okay, I feel better now. I don't call my husband a 'wimp cuckold boi' and he doesn't call me a 'BBC Slut' Respect goes in both directions!

<< Picture me crawling down off my soapbox, returning to my normal pleasant self>>

Donna

I have absolutely no claim on this woman whatsoever but 'that's my girl!'

I've been catching up on this very interesting thread the past few days and am almost there. I see I'm no different than most on this thread: I'm gonna have a lot to say...

 

[Dblinsey]

I have absolutely no claim on this woman whatsoever but 'that's my girl!'

I've been catching up on this very interesting thread the past few days and am almost there. I see I'm no different than most on this thread: I'm gonna have a lot to say...

Looking forward to seeing your remarks!

Donna

 

[JohnEE]

My wife has taken a few lovers over the years, with very much my encoragement. For me its always been about her pleasure, and watching her use her skills on another man. There has never been any humiliation, and it would horrify her if someone tried. watching her make love, and orgasm with another man is our forepay.

 

[JohnEE]

Continueing .. I do love to suck and kiss her lovers cock .. especially the first time she is with a new lover .. its my way to show her I fully approve, just before he slides it into her body.. I don't clean up though . although may well eat her and target her clit when her pussy is full of his cock … Love brining her off multiple times on her lover ….

 

[JohnEE]

Continueing . so to answer yr question . it sounds as if you guys have found what works for you .. which is the manuthing . and yur chosen bull(s) are very lucky to be part of yur relationship.

 

[Dblinsey]

Continueing . so to answer yr question . it sounds as if you guys have found what works for you .. which is the manuthing . and yur chosen bull(s) are very lucky to be part of yur relationship.

I have always held the opinion 'that whatever works for you and your partner, then great!" If hubby likes the idea of humiliation, wonderful, no harm, no foul. If the wife likes to be called a 'whore' or 'slut,' far be it for me to condemn it. I was referring to men who just arbitrarily call their wives names or wives who seem to enjoy humiliating the man she chose to spend her life with. If everything is consensual, wonderful! Enjoy the arrangement!

I believe that if more relationships cater to what BOTH participants want, then the relationship will only grow increasingly stronger. And after all, isn't that the ultimate goal?

 

[c4mfmplay]

Hi guys, I know the whole cuckold thing is a whole genre of porn and a lifestyle. I really am interested in finding out some answers so don't go off and get all butt hurt.
What I want to know is where are the non cuckold couples. I personally would never want my man to be a cuck. If you are, then good for you. I would never want my man to do that and I think the Stag Vixen lifestyle is growing.

Bulls, why would you fuck another man's wife and want her husband to clean you up or even want to watch him eat your cum out of her? Doesn't that make you bisexual?

I personally love to have sex with other men. While I am the one with the control and can say no anytime, he can also say no anytime he wants. That means if I want a man but husband doesn't like him, he can nix it right there, and he has done it. Every guy must go through him to get to me. Is there anybody else out there like us? I must say we have some very respectful bulls.

We are. Hubby is straight and the purpose of our MFMs is to satisfy my desire for multiple cocks. Hubby is always present and participates or watches. I do a lot more one on one with the guests now and he is ok and I like him there to watch.

 

[mywayintermsofsex]

I have always held the opinion 'that whatever works for you and your partner, then great!" If hubby likes the idea of humiliation, wonderful, no harm, no foul. If the wife likes to be called a 'whore' or 'slut,' far be it for me to condemn it. I was referring to men who just arbitrarily call their wives names or wives who seem to enjoy humiliating the man she chose to spend her life with. If everything is consensual, wonderful! Enjoy the arrangement!

I believe that if more relationships cater to what BOTH participants want, then the relationship will only grow increasingly stronger. And after all, isn't that the ultimate goal?

ImO respect (including self-respect) is the basis of any non-abusive relationship (including marriage as well as a ONS).
But where's the difference between consent and voluntary engagement?
And what does equality mean in terms of a D/s type of relationship or engagement where the dynamic is sometimes (and maybe wrongly?) described as "power imbalance"?

(Note: The cursive terms used in this post not only refer to words in the English language but also to some of the "criteria for identifying sexual behavior" in the "flagsystem".)

 

[raf]

Stag/Vixen here
View attachment 3275638

Wow! Your so fortunate to have found each other!

 

[tanadata]

Okay, time for me to crawl back up on my soapbox again...

Humiliation goes both ways. While we tend to focus on the husband being humiliated, and most people on this thread tend to agree that they aren't into that aspect of the lifestyle, might I call attention to wife humiliation?

A husband may suggest to his wife that she try a black guy. All well and good. The ball is now in the woman's court; she can either agree to try it or refuse. Up to her, no problem.

Now, the husband brought up the topic and she agrees. She is subsequently "Blacked" shall we say, and NOW the husband refers to her as a 'whore' or 'slut!" What's up with that? She did what he suggested, now he's treating her like trash? I can say, if my husband or my Bull, were to call me that, there would be SERIOUS words!

A person can jokingly say that a 'slut' is simply a woman with a male sex drive, but still, unless she likes the terms, and uses it herself, the conduct (in my book) is inexcusable!

A woman is on a diet. Her husband gives her a cookie. Now he calls her a fat pig? Come on people, she is supposed to be the love of your life! There isn't any cause for that (IMO).

I have received e-mails from men in this forum and they've asked "How long have you been a Black Whore" or "Black Slut yet? Tell me about it"

Each and every one of those guys got a full page of how I thought about them and never responded again.

Okay, I feel better now. I don't call my husband a 'wimp cuckold boi' and he doesn't call me a 'BBC Slut' Respect goes in both directions!

<< Picture me crawling down off my soapbox, returning to my normal pleasant self>>

Donna

To me it's always been more like, I give my wife a cookie, she eats it up with a big smile on her face, and I think and tell her, "I'm so glad you fed your appetite instead of worrying about what 'society' and everybody else thinks about your appetite. My heart is so full of love for you and it thrills me to see you so happy!" That's what I mean by the term BUT I think you are one of this site's greatest assets, and I hear what you are saying, and I've changed my perspective for the message board. My wife and I have an understanding of its meaning, but you're right (as usual!); it's not the same for everybody else.

 

[Dblinsey]

ImO respect (including self-respect) is the basis of any non-abusive relationship (including marriage as well as a ONS).
But where's the difference between consent and voluntary engagement?
And what does equality mean in terms of a D/s type of relationship or engagement where the dynamic is sometimes (and maybe wrongly?) described as "power imbalance"?

(Note: The cursive terms used in this post not only refer to words in the English language but also to some of the "criteria for identifying sexual behavior" in the "flagsystem".)

Voluntary engagement is de facto consent. I can't see how it could be regarded as something different.

In a D/s situation, the sub is consenting, otherwise it's abuse. The sub is in control of the situation at all times (i.e. Safe Words). If that dynamic is changed, then it's abuse.

Power imbalance may appear to be in the hands of the Dom, but the sub is actually in charge. If not, then it's abuse.

If you look at all three movies of '50 Shades of Gray' (okay, stop the groans) you'll see the power imbalance shift from Gray to Anna. By the end of the series, she is in total control. A good example of this shift is what she says to the Design Consultant in the middle of the second movie. Here is this mild, meek Anna (up until now) ripping the head off the Design Consultant for flirting with Gray. This marks the shift in the power dynamic that they are living through.

 

[Dblinsey]

To me it's always been more like, I give my wife a cookie, she eats it up with a big smile on her face, and I think and tell her, "I'm so glad you fed your appetite instead of worrying about what 'society' and everybody else thinks about your appetite. My heart is so full of love for you and it thrills me to see you so happy!" That's what I mean by the term BUT I think you are one of this site's greatest assets, and I hear what you are saying, and I've changed my perspective for the message board. My wife and I have an understanding of its meaning, but you're right (as usual!); it's not the same for everybody else.

And that's how it should be

 

[Dblinsey]

Stag/Vixen here too. I love to share my wife and she loves the freedom and she loves the attention from other men that turns her on and it drives me crazy! No humiliation although I do like her to make me a little jealous sometimes. Our sex has never been better. We’ve been together for 10 years

Whatever works for you, that's great! If you enjoy something and she is willing to provide it, congratulations, you found an individual that loves you!