Please help me. I am desperate and need advice.
- Thread starter MarkH1983
- Start date
I appreciate everyone taking the time to reach out and give such detailed advice. I spent a week away from this site and the internet in general to give myself some time to really think about how things went wrong. The bottom line is simple. We have spent our entire adult lives together and only knew each other. I foolishly didn't think this through when I encouraged her to be with someone else, and obviously she found something she believes is far superior to me and more satisfying and she couldn't walk away.
I just hope for her sake that leaving me for a 29 year old guy, who's never been married, and who carried on an affair with a married woman doesn't end up biting her in the ass, but that is no longer my problem. She has chosen him over me and our marriage.
After paying $250.00 for one hour with a lawyer, I agreed to the unconstested divorce she offered and on Wednesday of this week, signed the papers. The Attorney who advised me said I would be foolish to reject this deal as she is walking away from everything, including our martial home which has equity in it, my 401K, and household furnishings. We have agreed to equally split our savings, and what monies are in the joint checking account. I am told by my lawyer that the divorce will probably happen in as soon as 30 days. Just waiting on a court date.
I still struggle and don't understand why she had to rush this. I was hoping for some time to try and work things out. I was even willing to agree to a separation to ensure this is what she really wanted, and give her time with him, but what's done is done.
I am now back in the house. She moved out after I signed the divorce papers. I asked her via text where she went but she ignored my question. I can only assume she is living with him. I do want to know though because it will make me feel better knowing she isn't alone.
I am devastated and heartbroken, and I will miss her in my life, but I have no choice but to accept the cards I have been dealt. I have an appointment next week with a therapist. I am going to need the guidance of a professional to get over this loss and the guilt I have to go along with it.
I want to thank everyone here who has reached out in the comment threads and by personal message. The support has helped me and my family is really stepping up to the plate as well. I also want to thank the group administrator for allowing my post. I do realize this is an unusual situation, and posts like this are probably not the norm, but posting here and receiving all the advice/support has helped me greatly and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just hope for her sake that leaving me for a 29 year old guy, who's never been married, and who carried on an affair with a married woman doesn't end up biting her in the ass, but that is no longer my problem. She has chosen him over me and our marriage.
After paying $250.00 for one hour with a lawyer, I agreed to the unconstested divorce she offered and on Wednesday of this week, signed the papers. The Attorney who advised me said I would be foolish to reject this deal as she is walking away from everything, including our martial home which has equity in it, my 401K, and household furnishings. We have agreed to equally split our savings, and what monies are in the joint checking account. I am told by my lawyer that the divorce will probably happen in as soon as 30 days. Just waiting on a court date.
I still struggle and don't understand why she had to rush this. I was hoping for some time to try and work things out. I was even willing to agree to a separation to ensure this is what she really wanted, and give her time with him, but what's done is done.
I am now back in the house. She moved out after I signed the divorce papers. I asked her via text where she went but she ignored my question. I can only assume she is living with him. I do want to know though because it will make me feel better knowing she isn't alone.
I am devastated and heartbroken, and I will miss her in my life, but I have no choice but to accept the cards I have been dealt. I have an appointment next week with a therapist. I am going to need the guidance of a professional to get over this loss and the guilt I have to go along with it.
I want to thank everyone here who has reached out in the comment threads and by personal message. The support has helped me and my family is really stepping up to the plate as well. I also want to thank the group administrator for allowing my post. I do realize this is an unusual situation, and posts like this are probably not the norm, but posting here and receiving all the advice/support has helped me greatly and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is, IMO, a beautiful woman. She educated, takes care of herself, and is educated and intelligent. Why man wouldn't want something like that?
Glad things are turning around for you and I hope you won't make the same mistake with your future SECOND wife. Moreover she was incredibly foolish for surrendering so much in the divorce. Perhaps money is meaningless to her if she comes from a wealthy family and/or have other assets and/or sources of revenue? And as I suggested earlier somewhere in the thread that Black guy will undoubtedly dump her disloyal cheating ass after fucking her as well as with her life when he gets tired of her. I'd suspect you won't need a calendar to count the days until they will split up but instead using a stopwatch.
If I was the lucky Bull that won her heart so completely that she wanted to remarry me leaving the cucked hubby in your sad decrepit state out of fair play and Karma I as that Bull would make sure you would be an eternal house guest for surrendering so much to me. Provided that you and the wife came to an agreement where the husband's status would change where the Bull would be the new hubby, and the original white hubby and the former wife could arrive at an amicable agreement where all 3 could live together with rules agreed to be all parties. Perhaps like a live-in example of the "King of the Hill" scenario I also mentioned previously?
https://www.blacktowhite.net/thread...te-and-need-advice.138699/page-3#post-2045470
https://www.blacktowhite.net/thread...te-and-need-advice.138699/page-2#post-2045433
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Crazy how fast it’s happening. I still either think she’s so infacturated with him or pregnant by him to be moving this fast! But divorces are so common these days that they go pretty fast and easy if they are uncontested! Will be interesting to see what happens with her but don’t dwell on it! Just because it’s happening fast definitely won’t mean you will be over her anytime soon. If you need to seek professional counseling and it sounds like your family is strong for support. Focus on you and as nice as the internet is, it’s not the best place for real counsel or advice! Especially this fantasy land site where 75% of the members are fake or have no idea what happens in the lifestyle! Sucks that you got burned the way you did! You lived out an fantasy and it went bad for you! Some of us have had that happen to them as well! Good luck with your future and remember there are plenty of women out there when you are ready to start dating.
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I appreciate your words, and I did ask her if she was pregnant by him and she said No, but she wouldn't give me a direct answer as to why she wanted to divorce so quick other than to say she is ready to move on with her life.
I have decided that once everything is final, I will be selling the house, paying off my student loan, and some bills we are jointly responsible for. Luckily, it's not a lot of money so I will have some left over in the event I want to buy something else.
I am trying very hard to keep my head above water, and stay positive, but it's very challenging. One minute I feel like I am moving forward and the next I am tempeted to text her, or check out her social media accounts to see what is going on in her life.
It's very hard to just walk away, but she made it clear what she wanted and I cannot beg her to stay with me.
Can't imagine dating at this point. Too be frank, my self esteem is in the toilet and I am not feel like I can trust woman. I hope I feel differently in the future.
I appreciate your words, and I did ask her if she was pregnant by him and she said No, but she wouldn't give me a direct answer as to why she wanted to divorce so quick other than to say she is ready to move on with her life.
I have decided that once everything is final, I will be selling the house, paying off my student loan, and some bills we are jointly responsible for. Luckily, it's not a lot of money so I will have some left over in the event I want to buy something else.
I am trying very hard to keep my head above water, and stay positive, but it's very challenging. One minute I feel like I am moving forward and the next I am tempeted to text her, or check out her social media accounts to see what is going on in her life.
It's very hard to just walk away, but she made it clear what she wanted and I cannot beg her to stay with me.
Can't imagine dating at this point. Too be frank, my self esteem is in the toilet and I am not feel like I can trust woman. I hope I feel differently in the future.
Dude, I just read through these comments and all I have to say is the minute you invited a black man into your wife's bed, that was the beginning of the end of your marriage, especially realizing you both didn't have much experience in your lives with other partners.
Another thing, if a black man wants your wife, nine times out of ten, he's gonna get her and your situation proves my point.
How do I know this? I was my wife's bull and we are now married with 2 ******* and a 3rd on the way.
Just scratch this off as a learning experience and understand that the white man cannot compete with the BBC in the bedroom. We win the woman every time.
Good luck to you.
Another thing, if a black man wants your wife, nine times out of ten, he's gonna get her and your situation proves my point.
How do I know this? I was my wife's bull and we are now married with 2 ******* and a 3rd on the way.
Just scratch this off as a learning experience and understand that the white man cannot compete with the BBC in the bedroom. We win the woman every time.
Good luck to you.
I know full well I screwed up and trust me, I blame myself daily and I am suffering because of it. And another thing, why does your profile say you're female?
Dude, not that I owe you or anyone else an explanation, but my wife and I share this account. I check it out from time to time to give encouragement to my brothers pursuing the white female. Just pick yourself, dust yourself off and be a man and stop the whining. She don't want you bro.
And another thing, I can almost guarantee you the reason she wanted to move so quickly is she is knocked up by him and isn't telling you.
Brothers aren't fans of condoms, and many of us love the idea of breeding white females. That's a reality check for ya'll
Again, if I already did not say it, I applaud your extreme bravery for airing your dirty laundry for all of us to see and I hope that this cathartic activity where you keep speaking of your bad luck will accelerate your emotional healing so you can continue with your life. As the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "That which does not ******* us, makes us stronger ".
https://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/what-doesnt-*******-you-makes-you-stronger/
But it seems VERY realistic nonetheless. High points to @MarkH1983 for airing what can happen, what probably does happen, what goes unreported, and what goes unfantasized.
You need to man up stop being a sucker
I couldn’t agree more, STIFFBBC. And kudos to the guy for being brave enough to vent it out. And please people, if you not going to help a man to get up while he’s down, don’t kick him either. You might find yourself in a similar situation one day
ChristyandJake
Couple
" the minute you invite a Blackman into your wife's bed..is the beginning of end of marriage.." when I got into this lifestyle i never thought I'd see my wife leave me for her black lover. I'm still trying to understand all this. Good luck
You turned her into a hoe...got no sympathy for you. You responsible for your actions.
Indian couple
Couple
They both are cheating on you out of joke one of my swinger freinds faced same situation like you but there bull was a gentleman he refuse to see her Untill her husband is aware of there meeting and matting and on further pursuing he called husband and told him that his wife calls him for getting together do you approve? That's too hurt husband a lot but still someone shown honesty
He pretty much has by agreeing to the terms, which are quite reasonable. At least he didn't get burned through the divorce. Emotional baggage aside, it shouldn't have taken 6 months to fully grasp that something wasn't right.
you ask for advice, get the most direct, best advice possible and then whine that it's harsh? accept your advice & quit bitching about what you get or keep your sad sack ******* to yourself.
I knew in my heart something was up during those 6 months. I realize now I was living in denial. She never once allowed me to touch her during that time. This is a woman I'd been having sex with since I was a teenager.
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