Please help me. I am desperate and need advice.

[NicholeB]

This is tough. I’d say you need to begin accepting that it’s over.

 

[STIFFBBC]

I am sitting here in the car in the parking lot of Target on my iPhone in tears. Just left our home after a two hour talk with my wife. My marriage is over. I didn't even have to confront her about cheating on me. I told her we needed to have a serious talk and she said, "Yes, we do".
We both sit down in the Florida room, each with a cup of coffee. I flat out asked her if she loved me. Her response: "Of course I do. I will always love you Mark, I am just no longer in love with you". To say this felt like a knife through my heart would be an understatement. I asked her is there someone else? She said, "yes, there is, and we are in love" She replies, "I never wanted to hurt you. It just happened. It wasn't planned" I tell her I know and understand.
I then ask her what she wants to do. She pauses for a minute and then asks me what I want? I told her I will do whatever I can to make this work.
Her response: "Mark, there is nothing to make work. I tell her that I understand. That I want her to be happy and fulfilled.
I then ask her, are you willing to be 100% honest with me about everything? I told her I needed the truth to move on. She said what do you need to know? I asked her who is he? Her response: She gets up and walks back into the kitchen. I follow her. I again ask, please, just tell me who he is.
She responds: You know him. And I reply yes I do. She nods and we both cry. To her surprise, I hug her and tell her I am sorry. This is all my fault. She said, no, it's not. Things just happen and they happen for a reason.
We then walk back into the Florida room and sit down again. This time across from each other. I tell her I am willing to stay married to her and she can see him as often as she wants to. She then starts to cry again, saying that it's not an option. My response is why? She said "because he's been pressuring me to come clean with you, but I didn't want to hurt you". My response: And he loves you? He's told you that? Her: Yes, he has. He told me first and wants a future with me. Me: I assume a future meaning marriage? Her: Yes. And do you want to marry him? She looks down to the floor and nods her head, yes.
I get up, walk out of the house and into my car. She follows me outside and asks me not to leave. She is worried about me driving. I told her I will be ok, just needed space.
This is where I am now. Still sitting here, unsure of what to do or where to go next.

Rough! Best thing you can do is move on as she seems not to even desire you as a cuck.

 

[Lyra]

She's made her choice now make your move. It all depends on your character as a man. You either move on or stay and get played. I feel sorry for her. Never leave your partner for a dick or a hole.

 

[BlackPeacock]

That is what happens when cucks invite other men to fuck their wives without thinking everything through. Their fetish created irreparable damage to his marriage. The only way out is to be like Dale Gribble from the animated "King Of The Hill" TV series and live with the results if you want to maintain any kind of relations with the wife.

In the series Dale was a secondary character who was a friend of the primary character Hank Hill. Dale Gribble long lost his wife sexually as she had sexual ongoing contact with a Native American, Johnny Redcorn, who was a mutual friend to both husband and wife. Johnny fathered a ******* that looks just like Johnny yet Dale is so inept he thinks his ******* is biologically his. Dale was cucked and shielded by his stupidity. Unfortunately you don't have the same privilege, but maybe you might be able to stay as the cuck if you allow your wife to continue to cheat? Even though you lost her as your (primary?) sexual partner.

Otherwise counselling, if that fails divorce.

It's sad Dale was too stupid to figure out he was cucked and Joseph wasn't his. They don't even have the same skin color...

 

[NicholeB]

I have sympathy for this guy. This can’t be easy and I wish him the best. I also though see this and empowering for her. She has made the clear choice.

 

[eyespy07]

I have to say this one of the saddest posts I've read on here for quite some time. I do kinda feel for the guy. His fear/hopelessness is palpable. To me, this is the trepidation that all bfs and husbands face before deciding to enter into this lifestyle. One thing is to have the fantasy in your head, it's quite another to actually have it come true.

A bit about women... although we're living in a time of more female empowerment, at the biological level, women will always gravitate to a strong, Dominant man who can protect and provide for them. It's just how their brains work. So, when you introduce a 3rd person into the marriage who's not only young, fit, Dominant, educated AND can fuck really well then it's pretty much game over. After a few passionate fuck sessions, her mind and body became attached to the new guy. To me, it probably would have been safer to have met an IR swinging married couple and set up parameters from the get go. The OP mentioned he makes 70k per year, right? In most states (in the US) that's pretty damn good. I would definitely work to safeguard your assests as the talk of money will quickly change a person's mentality. Money will always do that. Anyways, that's my two cents worth. And OP if you're ready this, I wish you the best of luck. Take this as a "live and learn" moment. If you truly see yourself as a "submissive" or permissive man, this will only repeat itself. Do not let it happen again.

 

[MarkH1983]

Sad beyond words. I will be seeking out therapy as a means to deal with this. I am not hateful or angry. If anything, I blame myself. I am not only going to lose my wife of 2 years, I am going to lose someone I have known and been with since I was 17 years old. (half my life).
She loves him and she says he loves her. There is not a thing I can do about it. I cannot make her stay.
The bottom line is none of this would have happened had I not suggested this and inititally encouraged it. And the bizaree thing is she is with him because I found him.
Did she lie to me? Yes, but I have lied too. Not a good basis for a marriage.
I would encourage everyone here to learn from my mistakes. Dont push your wife into something like this unless you have fully thought it through. If you're wife is haven't sex with you, she is likely having sex with someone else. I suspected all along something was up and she was with someone else. Just didn't think it was him. I waited too long to address the elephant in the living room and gave them valuable time together to be with each other and build emotions.
I am sitting here at home alone wondering what I should do next. Dont really want to be here, so I may pack a bag and go stay at a hotel or with my brother. Haven't told my family yet.
And I want to talk to him. Not to get in his face or attack but to ensure his intentions are sincere. Not sure if he'll agree though.

 

[NicholeB]

Sad beyond words. I will be seeking out therapy as a means to deal with this. I am not hateful or angry. If anything, I blame myself. I am not only going to lose my wife of 2 years, I am going to lose someone I have known and been with since I was 17 years old. (half my life).
She loves him and she says he loves her. There is not a thing I can do about it. I cannot make her stay.
The bottom line is none of this would have happened had I not suggested this and inititally encouraged it. And the bizaree thing is she is with him because I found him.
Did she lie to me? Yes, but I have lied too. Not a good basis for a marriage.
I would encourage everyone here to learn from my mistakes. Dont push your wife into something like this unless you have fully thought it through. If you're wife is haven't sex with you, she is likely having sex with someone else. I suspected all along something was up and she was with someone else. Just didn't think it was him. I waited too long to address the elephant in the living room and gave them valuable time together to be with each other and build emotions.
I am sitting here at home alone wondering what I should do next. Dont really want to be here, so I may pack a bag and go stay at a hotel or with my brother. Haven't told my family yet.
And I want to talk to him. Not to get in his face or attack but to ensure his intentions are sincere. Not sure if he'll agree though.

Packing a bag and leaving is the best solution for today. A hotel or with your brother is best. You signed up for this and it’s going to be a tough thing to accept. Give her time to overcome the ending of her marriage and prepare for her new one. Times will allow her to make more rational decisions when you’re discussing the terms of your divorce

 

[MagicMikeATX]

First, I want to say before I proceed that I hope the admins here will allow a post from a brand new member that is seeking advice/help. My wife, my high school sweetheart and first love and I have been married 2 years after years of living together. Last year, we decided to spice up our sex life and discuss the possibility of her being with a black man. She was initially opposed and came around at my urging. I am, and have always been a bit on the sexually submissive side. I am of the mindset that black men, in general are superior to white men, especially in the bedroom. I wanted my wife to experience that.
We ended up meeting a really great guy off of a dating app. He had everything going for him. Handsome, educated, successful, muscular, and the BBC. The first time he was with my wife I watched them. I had never seen her behave in such a way when we had sex. He completely dominated her (In a non hurtful way) and she fully submitted to him. She appeared to love every minute of sex with him. After a few times, she informs me she didn't want to see him any longer. Because I always respected her wishes, I agreed. Whatever she wanted. Over the last 6 months, our sex life literally has become non existent. She won't let me touch her in any way. We get along fine and she is affectionate, but not like before.
I have asked her all along if she loves me and if she's happy and she says yes. I was suspecting her of seeing someone else, and I asked her if she met someone else and she has denied it.
So I set a trap for her because I needed to know the truth. Told her I was going to Jacksonville for business and that I would be gone 2 days. I checked into a local hotel and rented a car she wouldn't recognize and waited across the street from our home during the evening. On the very first night I am away, I see her pull into the garage around dinnertime and a black Cadillac Escalade pulled in behind. Who gets out but the black gentleman we met off the dating app. I waited about 20 minutes or so and get out of the car and run to the side of the house where our bedroom window is located. I can hear pretty much everything they are talking about because our windows are original, single pane windows that are in desperate need of replacement. Their conversation is pretty basic and then I begin to hear them passionately kiss and that leads to sex, in our martial bed. I could hear them talking to one another during sex, saying I love you, etc. I am sitting there, back to the wall of our home listening to everything, devastated. I get up, get in the car and head back to my hotel. I wake up early the next day, his SUV is still there. He spent the night. Mind you, I texted my wife around 11 the night prior telling her I was at the hotel relaxing. She texted me back a bit later telling me "I love you and goodnight".
Night two "away" I return to wait for her to arrive home from work. She arrives alone and about an hour or so later, he shows up again. I do the same exact thing I did the night before, sit on the side of the house, just below my bedroom window and listen to them have sex this time for about 2 hours. It concluded with him asking her if "he could cum inside of her" and she responded "yes, I want to feel you inside of me".
Now dont get me wrong, I am happy she enjoys being with this man in a way she never has with me. He is a good guy, quality person and I did inititate this originally, so I do share alot of the blame. I am just fearful I am losing her to him and eventually she is going to divorce me.

I return home from the "business trip" and everything is "normal" like before but no sex or intimacy between us whatsoever. I am also very concerned that she could potentially end up pregnant. Why do I say that? Well, when they first were getting together and I knew about it and was present, he had inititally asked if he had to wear a condom. My wife and I both agreed wearing a condom was a must as my wife has never been able to handle the side effects of the birth control pill. We always prevented pregancy in the past with me wearing one. He asked to cum inside of her that second night and she said yes. Why would he ask that if he were wearing a condom? Makes no sense, does it?

I am home tonight, sitting here and once again, head still spinning. I want to just come right out and ask her but I am fearful of her response.
Please, admins, I have literally no one else to talk to about this. If you can allow this post just long enough for me to get some advice, I would deeply appreciate it. I love my wife and just want my marriage to return to normal but I do not know how.

If anyone here wants to contact me, plz feel free to send me a private message.

Thank you so much.

Geezus Christ man... Pull your panties out of your butt Crack

This ain't no advice forum.
We're all trying to fuck too. Mostly guys fucking wives, or wives fucking other guys. When you say you Literally have no place to turn to, that's a crock of ******* lol

You LITERALLY have a few dozen other options instead of a fetish website.
If your wife left, she will probably leave you because you're just not smart. And acting like a sniveling worm
Not because of sex with a black guy.

 

[eyespy07]

Geezus Christ man... Pull your panties out of your butt Crack

This ain't no advice forum.
We're all trying to fuck too. Mostly guys fucking wives, or wives fucking other guys. When you say you Literally have no place to turn to, that's a crock of ******* lol

You LITERALLY have a few dozen other options instead of a fetish website.
If your wife left, she will probably leave you because you're just not smart. And acting like a sniveling worm
Not because of sex with a black guy.

Could be other things going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. Fucking that BBC just tipped the scales.

 

[eyespy07]

Sad beyond words. I will be seeking out therapy as a means to deal with this. I am not hateful or angry. If anything, I blame myself. I am not only going to lose my wife of 2 years, I am going to lose someone I have known and been with since I was 17 years old. (half my life).
She loves him and she says he loves her. There is not a thing I can do about it. I cannot make her stay.
The bottom line is none of this would have happened had I not suggested this and inititally encouraged it. And the bizaree thing is she is with him because I found him.
Did she lie to me? Yes, but I have lied too. Not a good basis for a marriage.
I would encourage everyone here to learn from my mistakes. Dont push your wife into something like this unless you have fully thought it through. If you're wife is haven't sex with you, she is likely having sex with someone else. I suspected all along something was up and she was with someone else. Just didn't think it was him. I waited too long to address the elephant in the living room and gave them valuable time together to be with each other and build emotions.
I am sitting here at home alone wondering what I should do next. Dont really want to be here, so I may pack a bag and go stay at a hotel or with my brother. Haven't told my family yet.
And I want to talk to him. Not to get in his face or attack but to ensure his intentions are sincere. Not sure if he'll agree though.

Bro, I feel for you but you definitely have to man up. If you feel that you were truly meant to be a powerless cuck then you're playing up the bitch boi routine to a tee. No offense. Also, why should you pack up and leave your own house? Tell your soon to be ex to shack up with her lover. Gotta reclaim your manhood asap. Women the world over can pick up on weak willed men in a heartbeat, dude. Just know there is hope and you're life is not totally over. As the saying goes, "And this too shall pass..."

 

[TheBreeder]

What I dont understand is she knew I supported this from the get go and encouraged it. Why did she feel the need to tell me she didnt want to see him any longer, only to continue seeing him.? None of it makes sense to me.

Because she started to develop some feeling for him.

 

[TheBreeder]

Sad beyond words. I will be seeking out therapy as a means to deal with this. I am not hateful or angry. If anything, I blame myself. I am not only going to lose my wife of 2 years, I am going to lose someone I have known and been with since I was 17 years old. (half my life).
She loves him and she says he loves her. There is not a thing I can do about it. I cannot make her stay.
The bottom line is none of this would have happened had I not suggested this and inititally encouraged it. And the bizaree thing is she is with him because I found him.
Did she lie to me? Yes, but I have lied too. Not a good basis for a marriage.
I would encourage everyone here to learn from my mistakes. Dont push your wife into something like this unless you have fully thought it through. If you're wife is haven't sex with you, she is likely having sex with someone else. I suspected all along something was up and she was with someone else. Just didn't think it was him. I waited too long to address the elephant in the living room and gave them valuable time together to be with each other and build emotions.
I am sitting here at home alone wondering what I should do next. Dont really want to be here, so I may pack a bag and go stay at a hotel or with my brother. Haven't told my family yet.
And I want to talk to him. Not to get in his face or attack but to ensure his intentions are sincere. Not sure if he'll agree though.

Man, stop saying "half your life" like it is over. You still have roughly 2/3rds of your life to live. More than enough time to find another person and live a healthy loving life with them. This situation is probably the worst outcome that could happen, but I bet she's been wanting out for longer than your BBC experimented lasted.

 

[WICPL4BBC]

Throw this skank to the curb !!!

 

[Kuno]

It's like a job loss. "Oh, I gave them everything I had!" The fact of the matter is that they moved on b4 you knew what hit you. Same thing here. Get past that and prepare for next steps. Usually, advice threads aren't worth squat here, but most of this has been telling you exactly what you need to hear. Not sure that visiting this site is helping though, other than as an outlet to unload. Prepare to turn this around. Who knows? The dude may lose interest with changed set of circumstances.

 

[OwnMyAsian]

She was never like that before, but what I am really fearful of is this guy is the only man other than myself who has been with her. My fear is she has gotten a taste of something better and I am going to lose her.

I experienced something very similar. I convinced my wife to try bbc. She was hooked after the first time. Unfortunately she didn’t want to share her experiences with me by letting me watch. We fought about it and for a time I thought she was done with it. Then I discovered a second cell phone she was using to communicate with her bull. When the respect for each other was gone, the marriage was basically over. She too was a very conservative sexual woman when we married but after bbc, she was a totally new person. Unfortunately it brought out the worst aspects of her character. Even if your wife splits with him, she’ll find someone else eventually. You’ll never be able to trust her again. Move on and find someone who will share everything with you. I was lucky to find my hot little Asian gf and I’ve never been happier.

 

[STIFFBBC]

I experienced something very similar. I turned wife into trying bbc. She was hooked after the first time. Unfortunately she didn’t want to share her experiences with me by letting me watch. We fought about it and for a time I thought she was done with it. Then I discovered a second cell phone she was using to communicate with her bull. When the respect for each other was gone, the marriage was basically over. She too a very conservative sexual woman when we married but after bbc, she was a totally new person. Unfortunately it brought out her worst aspects of her character. Even if your wife splits with him, she’ll find someone else eventually. You’ll never be able to trust her again.

In a way you married guys are making me glad I never married? It's very hard to find loyal single women to marry especially in my area.

 

[Nymedic81]

Man, stop saying "half your life" like it is over. You still have roughly 2/3rds of your life to live. More than enough time to find another person and live a healthy loving life with them. This situation is probably the worst outcome that could happen, but I bet she's been wanting out for longer than your BBC experimented lasted.

Well said I had to start over at 33 after losing several years with my ex. Hit the gym, work some OT, hung out with awesome friends and family! Spent more time on hobbies and learned to ski! Then hey I met a hot ass chick that’s about 9yrs younger then me! Have been with her for awhile, own a big house and go on vacations! I’m 37 going on 38 and the only thing I’m missing is *******, which I don’t think is a bad thing! I’m glad the OP doesn’t have ******* which I find strange after being together for that long but some people just aren’t ready for them! The first 6 months to a year until the divorce is settled and some time as passed is the toughest! Don’t go out dating 3 girls at once after the split, that ******* was rough lol! Oh yeah I also went to therapy since we tried couples therapy a few months before we split! Therapy helps and you need to get your confidence and manhood back! It’s ok to be some what submissive and some women like that but most don’t.

 

[slinky1]

If the trust is gone, then its time to move on. My ex-wife cheated on me so many times I lost count. I would check her underwear drawer when i'd get home from work and see if her lingerie was still how I folded it a particular way. if she came home late and went straight to the shower before coming to bed it usually meant she'd been with someone that night, because other nights she'd just jump into bed.
On the nights she'd shower first, i'd go down on her (because sadly I was still super horny knowing she'd just fucked someone) but she never knew, and I never told her that no matter how much she washed her pussy, you could always taste the condom. She thought by using condoms, there'd be no evidence. I hated the lying, and the secret text messages, and the bullshit. Even after we split, I took her old mobile phone as I was paying the bill, and it was full of mens phone numbers i'd never heard of and endless text messages of when they could meet, or thanking for the fuck they had. Its a ******* existance living with that crap in your life.

 

[STIFFBBC]

If the trust is gone, then its time to move on. My ex-wife cheated on me so many times I lost count. I would check her underwear drawer when i'd get home from work and see if her lingerie was still how I folded it a particular way. if she came home late and went straight to the shower before coming to bed it usually meant she'd been with someone that night, because other nights she'd just jump into bed.
On the nights she'd shower first, i'd go down on her (because sadly I was still super horny knowing she'd just fucked someone) but she never knew, and I never told her that no matter how much she washed her pussy, you could always taste the condom. She thought by using condoms, there'd be no evidence. I hated the lying, and the secret text messages, and the bullshit. Even after we split, I took her old mobile phone as I was paying the bill, and it was full of mens phone numbers i'd never heard of and endless text messages of when they could meet, or thanking for the fuck they had. Its a ******* existance living with that crap in your life.

To a cuck would your scenario would be heaven? As you did exhibit a cuck trait liking your woman to fuck another guy? Right?