Obligatory Sex

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DeeDeeinCO, Jan 21, 2015.

  1. DeeDeeinCO

    DeeDeeinCO Active Member

    Sex with your spouse is obligatory sex. It is something you do because you feel that you are expected to do so. It is not something you do because you enjoy it. Although sex with your spouse may be enjoyable, it is still obligatory sex. It is not something you do because it is fun.

    I believe a lot of women marry men who have small penises and settle with what their spouse has to offer. Other women who are married to men who have better, larger equipment too often do not show their husband's cock the attention it deserves. And that is okay by me, if I am getting sex from those women's husbands.

    I believe a lot of married men seek sex with other women because their wives do not appreciate them for what they have to offer. Far too many women, especially women married to men who are well endowed and are incredible lovers, fail to realize that sex with a man who is well sized can often be very enjoyable, especially if he knows how to use what he has.

    These same women may be a lot like me, in that although they may be married to a man who is well endowed and a great lover, their husband is still their husband and the sex they have with their husband is still obligatory. And obligatory sex is never as good as sex you have for fun.

    Men who seek sex outside of their marriage are the same way. They want sex that is fun, not sex they have to do because they are married to someone.

    How any man or woman can believe that one cock is ever going to be enough, or that one pussy is going to be enough, is beyond me. Why would anyone want just one cock or just one pussy for the rest of their life? How twisted is that?

    The reason you marry someone is because you want someone in your bed when no one else is available, or until someone else is.

    The traditional marriage vows promise each other to "love and cherish" or alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish and worship", while the bride to "love, cherish and obey" I am okay with the husband worshiping and I do obey. My husband wants me to be with other men.

    Traditional wedding vows often have gone like this . . .

    I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death do us part.

    The priest would then say aloud "You have declared your Consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen." then he has the groom and bride kiss.

    A husband or wife having sex with others does not divide a couple. More often a wife or husband having others for sex strengthens the marital bond by allowing the other to enjoy sex that is not obligatory.

    I kind of like . . . " ______________and____________________ life is given to each of us as individuals, and yet we must learn to live and love together. We learn to love by being loved. Learning to love is one of life’s greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life.

    But a husband and wife should not confuse love by worldly measures, for even if worldly success is found, only real, open, shared love will maintain a marriage.

    ______________________ and ___________________ as the two of you come into this marriage uniting you as husband and wife, and as you this day affirm your love for one another, I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as special and unique individuals with you own needs, that you respect the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not be jealous, and live each day that you may share it together – as from this day forward you shall be each others comfort and refuge, your marriage strengthened by your love that you share.

    Mankind did not create love; love is created by God. The measure of true love is a love freely given, shared and freely accepted, just as God’s love for us is unconditional and free. God does not love just one person. Therefore, we should follow his example."

    Why would anyone think that God didn't want married people to have other lovers? He made our sex urges as strong as they are. It is because God gave us the sexual urges that we have that we are able to seek and enjoy sex.

    The vagina is designed to stretch and contract. That way a woman can enjoy all cock sizes. And cocks come in many sizes so that women can have variety when they have sex with men. And because women have different sized vaginas, men can enjoy a variety as well.

    It is well known that women will often do more with their lovers than they ever will with their spouse. Why? The reason is that wives feel more relaxed and are willing to do more with a lover because there is no fear of failure. And because other men are not her husband, the other men have no fear of rejection. That is why sex with lovers is usually really, really good.

    I believe that any husband or wife who is not having sex outside of their marriage is settling and doing a disservice to themselves and their spouse. I know that sex is better with my husband after I have had sex with other men first. And I know this is not isolated to just me. I know I love my husband more after I have had sex with others first before having sex with him. I also know that when a man or wife has sex with another, outside of their marriage, that they are happier people with higher self esteems and a better self worth.

    To me the benefits of having lovers outside of your marriage far outweigh the downsides. When a husband or wife takes advantage of an opportunity to be with another, sexually, they are happier people. And those who regret having sex with others, just because the other is not their spouse, or are of another skin color, are cheating themselves. Why would you regret something so beautiful as two or more people enjoying each others bodies the way God intended?

    It is my hope that others will come to this mindset and become happier people because of it.
    cuckyboi4BBC likes this.
  2. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    If sex with one's spouse is considered "obligatory" ... then that person is in the wrong marriage. ;)
    Even after being together 20 years, I can honestly say I still look at my wife with the lust and desire as I did the first day I sank my "willie" in her. There's so much more to a marriage than the sex, however; I wish more people could see and realize that. Mac
    bm_from_southjersey likes this.
  3. bm_from_southjersey

    bm_from_southjersey Administrator Staff Member Real Person Gold Member

    [QUOTE, MacNfries, post: 626714, member: 1129"]If sex with one's spouse is considered "obligatory" ... then that person is in the wrong marriage. ;)
    Even after being together 20 years, I can honestly say I still look at my wife with the lust and desire as I did the first day I sank my "willie" in her. There's so much more to a marriage than the sex, however; I wish more people could see and realize that. Mac[/QUOTE]

    I couldnt have said it any better.
  4. DeeDeeinCO

    DeeDeeinCO Active Member

    The thing is that I am in love with my husband as much today as I ever have been. He is a wonderful man. No one has ever loved me the way that my husband does. Our live-in and other boyfriends of mine are incredible lovers, as well. And I love them, too, just as much as I love my husband.

    I have sex with my husband because I love him. Yet, I have sex with other men, too, because it is something I do that makes my husband feel most loved.

    Sex being obligatory doesn't make it any less enjoyable. It is just something that people expect married people to do. And too many people feel that they have to have sex with their husband or wife. You should never feel that you have to have sex with anyone.

    I believe that my husband is the perfect man for me. He loves me. He has never been jealous. My husband enjoys that other men want me and that I want to please them.

    My husband knows that I love sex, and that sex is important to me. The fact that he allows me to have sex with others makes my husband better than most.

    My husband is only 3.75" long when he is totally erect. And recently he hasn't been able to achieve a full erection. Our live-in is just over 9" long when he is totally hard. And he is able to get it up in a second's notice. I have sex with our live-in every morning and every night. Why? Because he is an amazing lover, and I love how I feel when I am with him.

    After I have sex with our live-in at night, I snuggle with my husband and our live-in snuggles with me. I love both of the men I live with. I don't think that is wrong. I don't see anything wrong with a married woman wanting to have, or having, boyfriends, either.

    Mac; When you said, "If sex with one's spouse is considered "obligatory" ... then that person is in the wrong marriage." I have to disagree. My first two marriages were horrible times in my life. I never felt that sex with either of my first husbands was obligatory, yet it was. And to be honest, sex with my first husband, now, is better than any time we had sex when we were married to each other.

    My husband's ex rarely let my husband watch her with other men when they were married. Yet, since they have been divorced, my husband has had numerous opportunities to watch his ex with other men. My husband's ex told me a long time ago that she never enjoyed sex with my husband because he came too quickly and he always apologized, for everything. I have experienced the same thing. He is the same man he has always been.

    My mother-in-law loved her husband more than anything in the world, yet today she lives with two Black Men and is happier now than she ever was when my father-in-law was alive. My mother-in-law told me that she hated sex with my father-in-law because he was so rough and called her dirty names. Yet, she enjoys the same kind of sex with the men she is living with now. Does that mean that my mother-in-law loved my father-in-law less? No. She just didn't enjoy the sex she had with him.

    Until my sister had sex with a man who wasn't her husband, she never really enjoyed sex, either. It was something that she did to make her husband happy. Why? Because she loved her husband. Why does she enjoy sex with other men, now? Because of how they make her feel, and how she feels when she is with them. My sister told me after she had her first "other man" that she never thought that sex could be that good. And since her first "other man" was one of my lovers, I was able to concur.

    To me, you are in the wrong marriage when you have wants and needs that can never been satisfied. Many monogamous relationships fit in that category. I feel that my marriage is the perfect marriage, for me. Why? Because I have a loving husband who loves to share me, and I love pleasing my husband by pleasing other men.

    When I have sex with our live-in and my other LTR boyfriends, I love it. And I know that I am loving my husband in a way that he feels most loved. I have been told that because my husband feels most loved when I have sex with other men that the sex I have with others could be considered obligatory. I agree, in a sense. The thing is that I love the sex I have with others mostly because of how much it pleases my husband when I do.

    If I didn't love my husband as much as I do, I wouldn't have sex with as many men as I do. I can't imagine a better marriage than the one my husband and I have. The fact that numerous lovers have told me that they wish their marriage was as good as mine and my husband's is says a lot.