Not a chance.
N-word as a turn on : yes or no ?
- Thread starter Annasega
- Start date
Never.
agree!!
Comparing it to other black men, especially rappers doesn’t make sense. And saying blame Shane diesel like black people are all monolithic in personality doesn’t make sense. He isn’t the leader of black people, he’s a pornstar lol. Don’t be obtuse. It’s not for everyone and it never will! And that is okay. I personally have enjoyed it, but only with the right set of partners. Don’t confuse a use of endearment with use of arousal.
Damn, I can say I wasn't turned on by it until watching this video LoL. Seems hot, going to try it next time. Love dirty talk.
Selma Blair banged hard up against a wall by big dong
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Definitely not my thing. Some mild mutual "race play" is OK, but not the N word.
We've always felt that word was way out of bounds. We hate hearing people say it to marginalize people. But we've also been around plenty of black people who call each other that in friendly conversation, and figure it's not our place to tell others what they should or shouldn't be ok with. It's certainly not been a turn-on for us historically. It even sometimes feels awkward if it comes up too frequently in music playing during play time with men we are still getting to know, especially if it was one of us who started the streaming station and not him.
BUT, not too long ago we met a guy who's very into race play. He gets into the dynamics of power exchange and asked pretty bluntly how we felt about him having one or both of us do various things, one of which was using that word. Having a long discussion about it with him really made us think about it from a lot of different angles. I was nervous about the prospect of him wanting us to say it in the bedroom, but that situation hasn't come about so far. It certainly gave us a lot to think about in terms of how much power we place in certain words.
It can be pretty powerful when people reclaim a word that's been used in the past to take power away. A lot of people think there's not a dirtier word than the C word, but there's a whole section of the Vagina Monologues dedicated to reclaiming the word cunt and making it sexy and beautiful, and it's very woman-empowering. I know gay men who hate and would never use the word fag, and others who wear it like a badge or use it with each other in certain contexts, to be playful or assert some kind of role or identity.
I think that word CONTEXT, is crucial. Obviously it's not ok to use hateful words to describe an entire cross-section of people, especially in a derogatory manner. We'd never want to make a partner feel genuinely disrespected. But we've become more open to at least the idea that it has appeal to others in certain contexts. We've certainly enjoyed consensually playing at the edge when it comes to things like pain or various other kinks that probably aren't for everyone. I could see the use of this word in a similar light.
I'm noticing I'm still not even comfortable typing it here, even though I used those other examples without issue. That certainly goes to show how much power a word (and this word in particular) can have. It can be burned into people's consciousness as a thing you just plain don't say. But perhaps it's harder to say than the others in part because this is specifically an interracial site, or because I've programmed myself to consider it something a black person can say but my wife and I should be careful not to, which again speaks to context being important as well.
BUT, not too long ago we met a guy who's very into race play. He gets into the dynamics of power exchange and asked pretty bluntly how we felt about him having one or both of us do various things, one of which was using that word. Having a long discussion about it with him really made us think about it from a lot of different angles. I was nervous about the prospect of him wanting us to say it in the bedroom, but that situation hasn't come about so far. It certainly gave us a lot to think about in terms of how much power we place in certain words.
It can be pretty powerful when people reclaim a word that's been used in the past to take power away. A lot of people think there's not a dirtier word than the C word, but there's a whole section of the Vagina Monologues dedicated to reclaiming the word cunt and making it sexy and beautiful, and it's very woman-empowering. I know gay men who hate and would never use the word fag, and others who wear it like a badge or use it with each other in certain contexts, to be playful or assert some kind of role or identity.
I think that word CONTEXT, is crucial. Obviously it's not ok to use hateful words to describe an entire cross-section of people, especially in a derogatory manner. We'd never want to make a partner feel genuinely disrespected. But we've become more open to at least the idea that it has appeal to others in certain contexts. We've certainly enjoyed consensually playing at the edge when it comes to things like pain or various other kinks that probably aren't for everyone. I could see the use of this word in a similar light.
I'm noticing I'm still not even comfortable typing it here, even though I used those other examples without issue. That certainly goes to show how much power a word (and this word in particular) can have. It can be burned into people's consciousness as a thing you just plain don't say. But perhaps it's harder to say than the others in part because this is specifically an interracial site, or because I've programmed myself to consider it something a black person can say but my wife and I should be careful not to, which again speaks to context being important as well.
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I never used to say the N-word until I had sex with him he ****** me to say it and it was the best sex I ever had
I love how much thought and consideration you’ve put into your reply. That goes along we with someone like me and for quality people in the LS in general. Great job
Thank you! I'm a lot wordier than my wife is, but we're both fascinated by the things that make people tick. We consider ourselves sapiosexuals, and always appreciate finding others who also like to explore the psychological side of sexual interaction.I love how much thought and consideration you’ve put into your reply. That goes along we with someone like me and for quality people in the LS in general. Great job
It took a long time for her to be ok with looking for black men in the first place. She never had an issue recognizing or talking about her attraction to many black men, but she struggled with the idea that she found more black men attractive than other men, and didn't like the idea of fetishizing any particular race. It was important to her that we not treat men like a commodity to use. But over time we've found lots of interesting dichotomies like that to explore and try to understand. We've been grateful for the people we've met who take the time to help us look at things like this from various perspectives.
We've heard cuckoldry described as the "intellectual's fetish." That might be a little pretentious, but there's at least a bit of truth to it in our experience. There's certainly been no shortage of facets to think about as we've explored interracial play, power exchange, one-sided non-monogamy, etc. At risk of sounding boastful, it's been super hot to watch my wife blossom and explore, to see how her sexuality evolves, and watch her experience lust and pleasure in situations that neither of us ever imagined. I still don't know that either of us will ever feel comfortable using the n word, but we can both completely respect that it might represent different things to different people in different situations.
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We agree with you on that. My wife enjoys big black cock. She also enjoys being around the rest of the man, and hates hearing it when others call men BBCs. We wouldn't put up with someone constantly referring to her as a white pussy, or reducing her to a piece of ass (I mean, context...), so why do people think it's ok to call men by an acronym for their genitalia?
And I’m not a fan of the term “BBC” either.
Some of you have gotten WAAAAY too comfortable using it as a catch-all term for black men. It’s gross.
We always try to be careful with terms like BBC, bull, Queen of Spades, etc. They can be useful in finding people of a similar mindset, but to us, it's important for people to understand our intentions and feel respected. In situations where people are intentionally letting themselves be a little crass, sure, it can be hot to hear a lady say, "I need to get me some BBC tonight, baby!" It's the same as saying, "man, I could really go for some pussy." But casually being like, "hey Becky, you totally have to meet this BBC I met and fucked the other day," like a well-endowed black man is some kind of walking dildo for white people to use? That crosses a line for us.
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My fantasy but hard to find a bbc that likes it
We've not found many penises to that have had much of an opinion to voice on the topic of the n word. In fact, nobody's cock, of any size or color, has ever told us how it felt about any word. There are clearly men, however, who have plenty to say about it. Some of them even have BBCs, too.
Those that call themselves the n word tend to carry themselves in a particular way; a way that leads to more contact with law enforcement. I like the police but I try to not have undesired contact with them. No matter how you pronounce the word or spell it, it means the same. So here is a learning episode for white people. I, as a black man, love having sex with white women. Also, not all black people use the n word and find it offensive when other black people do; but you do you.
I respect your opinion my guy but drawing a correlation between the type of slang or vernacular a certain person uses and how they behave, suggesting a certain level of criminality, is dangerous and you don’t speak for an entire group of people.
My immediate circle of friends all use this type of slang amongst ourselves and we are architects, lawyers and doctors, never getting arrested or attracting unnecessary attention from law enforcement. That’s just how we converse, nothing more or less.
