Husband doesn't seem interested in sex

[BBW1977]

Lately, my 44 year old husband seems to have no interest in sex. He had surgery on his shoulder almost a year ago. He claims pain is the reason but it's been 11 months since the surgery. He does work kind of long hours but even after a 2-3 hour "nap" he is not energized for sex. We have had many kid free weekends and all we do is sit around. He used to say to me "find us someone to fuck." Not anymore. I am horny, all the time lately. There are some days all I can think about is a fat cock in my wet pussy and I even tell him straight up I am horny, yet he comes home, has dinner and promptly falls asleep on the couch. I thought maybe he was cheating but his routine has not changed, and his nephew now works with him so cheating would not be an option as they carpool together. I am frustrated and don't know what to do. I feel guilty asking to have a playdate instead of trying to entice him to fuck me but I am getting tired of always initiating things just to be turned down. I am too young to give sex up. I almost feel like cheating but I do not want the guilt. He is a good man. I just don't know how much more patience I can have for this situation.
Also, yes, I have talked to him about this, and he uses pain as his excuse or "You don't come to bed with me." He goes to bed very early and while that is true, there are many nights I go to bed with him, and nothing happens.

 

[Canning101]

Depression and stress can be a major problem do you think he has this ?

 

[BBW1977]

Depression and stress can be a major problem do you think he has this ?

It is quite possible but he won’t go see a doctor.

 

[Newcurious]

It is quite possible but he won’t go see a doctor.

Get what you need… we only live once…

 

[Darkjumper]

Lately, my 44 year old husband seems to have no interest in sex. He had surgery on his shoulder almost a year ago. He claims pain is the reason but it's been 11 months since the surgery. He does work kind of long hours but even after a 2-3 hour "nap" he is not energized for sex. We have had many kid free weekends and all we do is sit around. He used to say to me "find us someone to fuck." Not anymore. I am horny, all the time lately. There are some days all I can think about is a fat cock in my wet pussy and I even tell him straight up I am horny, yet he comes home, has dinner and promptly falls asleep on the couch. I thought maybe he was cheating but his routine has not changed, and his nephew now works with him so cheating would not be an option as they carpool together. I am frustrated and don't know what to do. I feel guilty asking to have a playdate instead of trying to entice him to fuck me but I am getting tired of always initiating things just to be turned down. I am too young to give sex up. I almost feel like cheating but I do not want the guilt. He is a good man. I just don't know how much more patience I can have for this situation.
Also, yes, I have talked to him about this, and he uses pain as his excuse or "You don't come to bed with me." He goes to bed very early and while that is true, there are many nights I go to bed with him, and nothing happens.

I know depression has been mentioned but it's possible that his testosterone levels have dropped. When last has he had his testosterone levels checked?

 

[BBW1977]

I don't know.

I know depression has been mentioned but it's possible that his testosterone levels have dropped. When last has he had his testosterone levels checked?

I don't know

 

[Mexicpl4bbc]

Lately, my 44 year old husband seems to have no interest in sex. He had surgery on his shoulder almost a year ago. He claims pain is the reason but it's been 11 months since the surgery. He does work kind of long hours but even after a 2-3 hour "nap" he is not energized for sex. We have had many kid free weekends and all we do is sit around. He used to say to me "find us someone to fuck." Not anymore. I am horny, all the time lately. There are some days all I can think about is a fat cock in my wet pussy and I even tell him straight up I am horny, yet he comes home, has dinner and promptly falls asleep on the couch. I thought maybe he was cheating but his routine has not changed, and his nephew now works with him so cheating would not be an option as they carpool together. I am frustrated and don't know what to do. I feel guilty asking to have a playdate instead of trying to entice him to fuck me but I am getting tired of always initiating things just to be turned down. I am too young to give sex up. I almost feel like cheating but I do not want the guilt. He is a good man. I just don't know how much more patience I can have for this situation.
Also, yes, I have talked to him about this, and he uses pain as his excuse or "You don't come to bed with me." He goes to bed very early and while that is true, there are many nights I go to bed with him, and nothing happens.

Go see a doctor. Be patient and remember, look over all things first.

 

[Voltaire68]

I don't know.

I don't know

.....its cheating time again baby.....you know what i'm talking about.....it's only a matter of time now

 

[Darkjumper]

Yes it's easy to use this as a reason to cheat and I won't tell you what to do. But I will say, don't let your moral compass steer you off course. You got married for better or for worse, so if this a test of that vow, don't fail it. Give it your best shot and support him. I know he seems stubborn, but don't pressure him because it will only make him rebel. Don't offer ultimatums either, you are a woman, outsmart him. Figure a way to get him to get a check up, by getting him to suggest it on his own so he thinks it's his idea. I wish you all the best.

 

[Darkjumper]

Something just came to mind, and while there could be a drastic drop in his testosterone, it's also possible he could be suffering from ED and not telling you. If it's the latter, him not telling you could just be due to shame and disappointment at feeling inadequate. You really need to be delicate with him, so please, approach with as much empathy as possible. You may have to be a bit creative. Wait till he is in the shower and just step in unless he locks the door. All I'm saying is fine ways to tease and tempt him when he is least expecting it. Again, good luck.

 

[Canning101]

Depression and stress can be a major problem do you think he has this ?

Something just came to mind, and while there could be a drastic drop in his testosterone, it's also possible he could be suffering from ED and not telling you. If it's the latter, him not telling you could just be due to shame and disappointment at feeling inadequate. You really need to be delicate with him, so please, approach with as much empathy as possible. You may have to be a bit creative. Wait till he is in the shower and just step in unless he locks the door. All I'm saying is fine ways to tease and tempt him when he is least expecting it. Again, good luck.

I have spells of depression or not feeling well etc coupled with us both being in our 50 s we may not shag for a month or so plus with family commitments it can be tough for sex
How old is he mabe a good chat will help as I say he may have issues mentally which is blokes don’t say and hide it away

 

[BigDick8181]

That’s crazy! Wish I had a woman like you who likes to fuck

 

[Marco3311]

Lately, my 44 year old husband seems to have no interest in sex. He had surgery on his shoulder almost a year ago. He claims pain is the reason but it's been 11 months since the surgery. He does work kind of long hours but even after a 2-3 hour "nap" he is not energized for sex. We have had many kid free weekends and all we do is sit around. He used to say to me "find us someone to fuck." Not anymore. I am horny, all the time lately. There are some days all I can think about is a fat cock in my wet pussy and I even tell him straight up I am horny, yet he comes home, has dinner and promptly falls asleep on the couch. I thought maybe he was cheating but his routine has not changed, and his nephew now works with him so cheating would not be an option as they carpool together. I am frustrated and don't know what to do. I feel guilty asking to have a playdate instead of trying to entice him to fuck me but I am getting tired of always initiating things just to be turned down. I am too young to give sex up. I almost feel like cheating but I do not want the guilt. He is a good man. I just don't know how much more patience I can have for this situation.
Also, yes, I have talked to him about this, and he uses pain as his excuse or "You don't come to bed with me." He goes to bed very early and while that is true, there are many nights I go to bed with him, and nothing happens.

Talk to him.
Tell him your frustrations. Tell him you cannot live without sex. Tell him you need sex.
Just talk and let him know how bad the situation is and that it needs to be solved.
It is that simple.

 

[Jdingo619]

There are times that men need patience when their wives lose interest in sex and now I see that wives need patience when their husband's aren't interested in sex!

You gotta tell your man "I love you and will help you and be there with you through whatever you are going through but I need you to tell me what's wrong or if you don't know we need to go find out, because doing nothing is not acceptable because I am not if you are not happy"!

Or you can just come straight out and say "look man as your wife I need some dick, so I need you to treat this pussy like your job and go to work"! LOL

 

[Ram197340]

How sad. You may need to have him checked out by a medical professional. Mental and physical to see if he has an issue.

 

[BBW1977]

Something just came to mind, and while there could be a drastic drop in his testosterone, it's also possible he could be suffering from ED and not telling you. If it's the latter, him not telling you could just be due to shame and disappointment at feeling inadequate. You really need to be delicate with him, so please, approach with as much empathy as possible. You may have to be a bit creative. Wait till he is in the shower and just step in unless he locks the door. All I'm saying is fine ways to tease and tempt him when he is least expecting it. Again, good luck.

I won’t cheat on him. I have had thoughts of it but I cannot bring myself to do that to him. Thank you so much for your insight and support. I will definitely keep all you said in mind!

 

[Canning101]

I won’t cheat on him. I have had thoughts of it but I cannot bring myself to do that to him. Thank you so much for your insight and support. I will definitely keep all you said in mind!

Us blokes are good at hiding problems I don’t tell my family when I have issues which can be wrong as don’t wish to worry them
Temporary maybe some adult toys if you have any ?

 

[Mypete]

I won’t cheat on him. I have had thoughts of it but I cannot bring myself to do that to him. Thank you so much for your insight and support. I will definitely keep all you said in mind!

You are a good wife,hopefully you can find a solution to the issue. Maybe he might want to watch you fucking someone else, that way he can still be involved. It also may excite him to the point where you can have reclaim sex after he watches someone else fucking you. Personally I prefer freshly fucked pussy myself.

 

[BBW1977]

You are a good wife,hopefully you can find a solution to the issue. Maybe he might want to watch you fucking someone else, that way he can still be involved. It also may excite him to the point where you can have reclaim sex after he watches someone else fucking you. Personally I prefer freshly fucked pussy myself.

I asked him about being a cuckhold last night and he said he would be willing to give it a try. He did sit back and watch one time, but he had already participated beforehand so not truly a cuck. We will see.

 

[Mypete]

Maybe with his drive falling off some,and his pain issues this might be what he needs to get him aroused enough to get back into sexual situations and relations with you! Nothing I ever experienced was hotter than seeing my wife taken by another man. If it works, then try telling him that you want him to reclaim his wife every time you cuckold him. I personally loved cleaning my wife's well fucked pussy,and fucking and filling her again and cleaning her again. Cuckolding can help reignite the sexual fire in a marriage too. Please let us know (every sorted detail ) of how it works out for you. It sounds like you truly love your husband, so give it a try. It is far better than cheating, as lost trust can not ever be regained! Including him wholeheartedly and hopefully you will find great results,and Something wonderful you can enjoy together for many years to come. Do it now before the lack of intimacy allows you to grow apart.