@jared7577768: No need to be frustrated or anxious about having sex with your wife. Understand that in love
and lust there are no rules. Throw out of the window everything you have learned or think you knew about sex.
Thoughts are private and they are free. No harm is done, if you're thinking of another man's, perhaps a Black man's dick inside your wife's precious vagina while you are giving her orgasms by whatever means.
Hint: If your penis doesn't cut it, use your tongue. If not your tongue, use your hands; if not your hands, use a dildo (a black/dark brown, penis-like one of course, but don't make the mistake it'd be huge, a neat "average" one is often the better choice
for a start); if not the dildo then use a vibrating toy instead (the magic wand clitoral stimulator is master class, not cheap but each and every penny/cent worth! Go for the cordless model. It has a greater number of stimulation patterns/"programs" to choose from and you don't need an e-outlet nearby whereever you want to use it).
Also you can add porn for your own and your wife's additional (audiovisual) stimuli and satisfaction; "dirty talk"; and/or roleplay different scenarios; etc. Be creative and - most of all - don't have expectations! You are not a sex worker and do not need to perform! Just do what feels comfortable without any pressure.
See where it will genuinely/naturally lead you. It is supposed to be fun, so find your way back to relaxation and enjoyment! Perhaps try different things, or let your wife surprise you with new ideas (of hers)! Good luck!
