Once again, you are right, every couple are different, me and gf are 2 halves of a "whole" we never actively looked for ir lifestyle, but discovered it by chance, now we have, everytime we decide to engage, we both have to be in total agreement, I do not enjoy dominating or being dominated either, however, I do enjoy seeing my gf experiencing BBC and if that means seeing her with a bbc who maybe trash talking, or fucking her aggressively then great, but ultimately I am the one she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with. What I am trying to say is, if it works for you both, then its right.