Does BBC enhance a lady's confidence?

NEHIGHLANDER

Couple
Gold Member
#3
Too complicated an issue to have a simple answer. I know my wife has issues with self esteem and though she is very beautiful and sexy she seems to keep seeking validation. Beware of outward appearances, just because a woman seems confidant and willing you just don't really know what's going on inside. What her motivations are can be many and just because she is willing to have sex with many men doesn't necessarily translate to confidence, it just might be the opposite. A woman may choose to make love only one man and still be VERY confident, sexually and otherwise.
Amie is a Southern girl and was brought up in a racist family that tried to teach her that black men were subhuman and that no self respecting white girl would never have relationships with them. For some reason she became fascinated by black men and unknown to her family, she has had many sexual encounters with them. Early on she didn't think of herself as attractive (she knows better now) so the question is was she drawn to black men because she thought she deserved only them? Of course she had heard all the stories about black man sexual prowess but when her and I talk about it she is evasive and I get multiple answers from her.
When she was young she told me that she always felt bad about herself and guilty after she had sex with black men. That feeling has mostly gone away for now. One thing is certain is she is deeply satisfied by her black lovers when they make love to her. I have watched her with them and she totally surrenders to them and it is amazing to watch. Afterwards she sometimes apologizes to me even though I was the one that encouraged her to screw them. Like I said, it can be complicated.
 
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Ann4BBC

Female
Real Person
Gold Member
From
UK
#4
Can only talk about ourselves, our marriage has definitely improved! There was nothing drastically wrong with it before but I always felt my hubby was in control and I felt a little powerless and lacked confidence.
He convinced me to start this lifestyle, going with black guys, and have fully embraced it, my shyness going and confidence growing.
Now I'm getting the attention, I'm more in control, hubby has to play along with me instead the other way round. Our dynamic has definitely shifted.
We're getting on really well now, I've become more of the decision maker on a lot of things. I think we ladies have to become quite strong in this lifestyle, to meet a guy and have sex with him within a very short time and know not much about him. You have to take control straight away!
 

Usnluv

Couple
Real Person
Gold Member
#7
Can only talk about ourselves, our marriage has definitely improved! There was nothing drastically wrong with it before but I always felt my hubby was in control and I felt a little powerless and lacked confidence.
He convinced me to start this lifestyle, going with black guys, and have fully embraced it, my shyness going and confidence growing.
Now I'm getting the attention, I'm more in control, hubby has to play along with me instead the other way round. Our dynamic has definitely shifted.
We're getting on really well now, I've become more of the decision maker on a lot of things. I think we ladies have to become quite strong in this lifestyle, to meet a guy and have sex with him within a very short time and know not much about him. You have to take control straight away!
We totally agree. This lifestyle has not only improved her confidence and self-value, it has only helped to enhance our already strong bond and marriage.
 

Usnluv

Couple
Real Person
Gold Member
#9
For years my wife hid her desire for strong dominant Black men.. Now, not so much. All her friends know and support her. She often will have her Bulls over the house, or go to dinner in our town with them. Public displays of affection are a big turn on for her.

All our children are grown and on their own. If she has plans and they stop by, so be it. lol
 
#13
My wife seems to derive some confidence in the mere fact she could one day be with a black man. She has perked up a lot and I get the sense she wants to seek the validation and approval of a black man, something she never much concerns herself with other men.
I think she views this guy she likes, Isaac, as a man she wants to impress and it seems like she believes to be with him is something special, like other women may hear she is with this well endowed black man and will be envious of her.
 

WIcouple

Couple
Real Person
Gold Member
From
WI, US
#14
I was self-conscious about my weight, especially my big fanny; however, black men made me feel sexy. When I feel sexy, I am more out-going, more confident. The second aspect is that I was having incredible sex, which I doubt the majority of women will ever experience, this further made me feel special.
It's true... black men seem more appreciative of a womanly body versus the expectation that a woman should look like Barbie in order to be attractive. I feel they are more attentive. How could that not instill more confidence in a woman?
 
#16
Good Thread. There no doubt that having BBC has made Nat more self-confident. I can't say she was shy or had any body confidence issues before, but certainly she radiates confidence and sexiness when in company of black guys and for some time afterwards. She tells me she loves the freedom to be able to do this and teases me afterwards that I have naughty wife. For us it's like escape form normal life routines & responsibilities. All should try it!
 
#18
When I feel sexy, I am more out-going, more confident.
This right here is the key folks!

Regardless of being in the lifestyle or not, every husband, boyfriend, FWB, playmate, etc. needs to make sure that the women in their lives feel this way.

It's not just the words you say but the thing you do everyday that help your special lady feel sexy. The confidence comes very quickly and strongly and it's fantastic to see and experience.

So many guys ask how to get their ladies into the lifestyle. They look at tricks, techniques, suggestions, etc. I say start right here with Beth's comment and you will certainly be on the right track!
 
#20
When I feel sexy, I am more out-going, more confident.

This right here is the key folks!

Regardless of being in the lifestyle or not, every husband, boyfriend, FWB, playmate, etc. needs to make sure that the women in their lives feel this way.

It's not just the words you say but the thing you do everyday that help your special lady feel sexy. The confidence comes very quickly and strongly and it's fantastic to see and experience.

So many guys ask how to get their ladies into the lifestyle. They look at tricks, techniques, suggestions, etc. I say start right here with Beth's comment and you will certainly be on the right track!
That quote is so spot on. I'm really good at being a provider, I'm reliable, faithful and my wife can count on me, I know she loves these qualities about me. What I'm not necessarily good at is flattery, I'm horrible at fawning over my wife even though I know she thrives off of it. I do pay her compliments when she dresses sexy or wears a negligee for me but I get uncomfortable with adulation or sweet talking her even though she certainly deserves.

That's where this talk of my wife being with a black man has made my wife blossom. When this all first came about I told her she had a body black men would adore, and how lucky a black man would be to have her. I could tell initially she wasn't buying this because she is not used to me going on about her but I told her I was only able to tell her these things because I was convinced she would look amazing in the arms of a black man. After awhile she was all ears. Now when we talk about her being with black man you can see her confidence. I talk about her long blond hair, her perfect skin and how emotional she gets in bed and she loves it.

That isn't the whole story though. While I was doing this she had held back a "secret" about this "charming, older, good looking, tall black guy" she worked with. He came up after I asked if she knew any guys she might like and she told me about him. She said they worked together for about three years, he was her escort on the casino floor, and that he was a very nice guy. I prodded her and she said he was a flirt and that whenever he saw her he would always be smiling say something like "hey gorgeous" or "you're looking good today."

She said it soon became obvious he was favoring her because when she called for an escort he would show up first or call everyone off and say he was taking her around. She said when they walked the floor he always praised her whether it was her hair, makeup, or jewelry, she said he went out of his way to make her feel good. I asked her if it worked and she nodded yes and said he always made me feel good about myself. I asked if that's why she found him interesting and she said yes, that and him being so tall.

The way she talks we both know she "likes" him and I brought up the fact she enjoyed being around him because he makes her feel good as a woman. She agreed by saying she loves the attention and that he makes her feel sexy.