With
real cuckolding, the husband usually has no influence in the wife's decision to screw other men, so he's not the one in control. He can adjust to her random infidelities or not ... it won't matter to her.
In
voluntary cuckolding, the husbands often initiate and encourage the wives to seek other men to have sex, often so they can fulfill their own selfish, little fantasies. At least, initially, the husbands feel like they are in control of their wive's activities. Often, however, the wives have suddenly realized (because of their sexual activities with other men) just how poor their husbands were at sex, and they begin seeking out their own lovers. No longer do the husbands have control, and the husbands could, in fact, eventually feel their authority /control "threatened" or breached. Particularly if the wives have been foruntate to hook up with a gifted/talented black male, its often way too late to reverse course ... the damage done, the husbands become real cuckolds, and will either adjust to their wives frequent disappearances to seek sex with other men, or not; the wives, however, may not care one way or the other how their husbands feel, by then.