Close - need advice on next move

[lilhenny04]

I have been after my wife for years on turning her into a hotwife and suddenly, something changed the other night. I had her try a bigger dildo (8" length, 6" girth) the other night and something clicked. I talked to her afterwards and you could tell she was holding back on how much she liked it. Finally I,said its okay, its not going to hurt my feelings, I just want you to feel good and she said she really enjoyed the size of it, that she wanted me but wouldn't be oppose to using the bigger dildo more. And while nervous as ******* with the next step, I went for it, I told her that I was into porn where wives were the husbands pornstars and I told her there are husbands out there that want to see their wives have sex with other, hung men. Her answer really threw me, she immediately looked turned on, like she would like that too but then said no, that she only ever wanted one person and that was me. I finished in her after the larger dildo and could barely feel her. I knew she realized the size difference and came almost instantly from the thought of her being spread open like that. I know she likes it and feel so close to making her a size queen but feel like she could shut down on it should the next step not be right. Would love advice from everyone on what we should try or do next.

 

[wifesfirst]

always make it about her
dildos got me thinking

 

[lilhenny04]

always make it about her
dildos got me thinking

Dildos got me thinking? What do you mean?

 

[JerseyGirl]

You said that you told her that you'd like her to have sex with "other hung men" and you think she looked turned on by the idea. But nowhere did you mention that you wanted her to have sex with hung BLACK men. What is it that you're wanting to accomplish here? Is it just that you want her to have sex with other men who are larger than you irregardless of their race? Or do you want her to only have sex with black men? One might assume that since you're posting here in the BlacktoWhite message boards that you in fact only want her to have sex with black men.

Does your wife even like black men? Does she find them attractive? Is she curious about whether it's true or not? Would you be happy if she decided that yes, she would like to have sex with "other hung men" but only if they are white?

I think you need to talk to her some more and find out what really turns her on before you push this any further. If you really want her to be happy then you'll make her dreams come true; not ******* your dreams on her.

 

[lilhenny04]

You said that you told her that you'd like her to have sex with "other hung men" and you think she looked turned on by the idea. But nowhere did you mention that you wanted her to have sex with hung BLACK men. What is it that you're wanting to accomplish here? Is it just that you want her to have sex with other men who are larger than you irregardless of their race? Or do you want her to only have sex with black men? One might assume that since you're posting here in the BlacktoWhite message boards that you in fact only want her to have sex with black men.

Does your wife even like black men? Does she find them attractive? Is she curious about whether it's true or not? Would you be happy if she decided that yes, she would like to have sex with "other hung men" but only if they are white?

I think you need to talk to her some more and find out what really turns her on before you push this any further. If you really want her to be happy then you'll make her dreams come true; not ******* your dreams on her.

I've never discuss it as black only but again we are just getting to that point. Both of the dildos we have been using are black and the porn we have watched is interracial. She says she isn't attracted to black men but I just want to see how open she is to this. I think/hope it will spice up our sex life. Just her response to when I told her about men getting off on watching their wives have sex with other men. It was like a light went off, like she considered it for a split second but didn't know how to respond or if I might get upset if she said she would like that. She knows that black men are larger (on average anyway). And I know not to ******* things on her as I love her and respect her opinions and wants. I just feel like it is something she would enjoy but is scared of how I would react if she said she would be into it. Again, based where we are now, I'm curious what the next step would be, just continuing to use the dildo or is there something else that could help us?

 

[dunacouple]

I've never discuss it as black only but again we are just getting to that point. Both of the dildos we have been using are black and the porn we have watched is interracial. She says she isn't attracted to black men but I just want to see how open she is to this. I think/hope it will spice up our sex life. Just her response to when I told her about men getting off on watching their wives have sex with other men. It was like a light went off, like she considered it for a split second but didn't know how to respond or if I might get upset if she said she would like that. She knows that black men are larger (on average anyway). And I know not to ******* things on her as I love her and respect her opinions and wants. I just feel like it is something she would enjoy but is scared of how I would react if she said she would be into it. Again, based where we are now, I'm curious what the next step would be, just continuing to use the dildo or is there something else that could help us?

Hmmmmm

>Not Attracted to black man
>Watches IR porn



Not many women will watch porn with men they do not find attractive. It might be that she is simply a normal white woman. She finds well endowed men attractive, including black men. She might even like it more because she would never marry a black man... Most people, of any race, are ethnocentric. Pretty much from birth. They want to reproduce with people who are of the same ethnic group.

Women think about the future. When you talk about potentially relationship killing tier issues, you will get the safe answers. I am not attracted to black men = I want ******* with someone from my own race.

There is nothing racist about that. Statistically it's the safest/easiest option. If we did not do that races would cease to exist pretty darn quickly.

Now this all might seem a bit off topic but the underlying issue is what is at the base of your entire 'mission' too. Women in general have paradoxical needs. A caring ******* and high quality sperm/dna. Some women can use that in the way you would like: have sex with alpha males while having a caring man at home. Most women tho will (initially) be turned off by beta men wanting to share their wife. So, as a women is instinctively thinking about her future you must always be aware of how she perceives you.

Want to make sure she feels safe with your commitment? The answer is easy: make sure she knows you love her, every day. The more opaque part? finding out how your wife handles the afore mentioned paradox.

 

[lilhenny04]

Hmmmmm

>Not Attracted to black man
>Watches IR porn

View attachment 1240425

Not many women will watch porn with men they do not find attractive. It might be that she is simply a normal white woman. She finds well endowed men attractive, including black men. She might even like it more because she would never marry a black man... Most people, of any race, are ethnocentric. Pretty much from birth. They want to reproduce with people who are of the same ethnic group.

Women think about the future. When you talk about potentially relationship killing tier issues, you will get the safe answers. I am not attracted to black men = I want ******* with someone from my own race.

There is nothing racist about that. Statistically it's the safest/easiest option. If we did not do that races would cease to exist pretty darn quickly.

Now this all might seem a bit off topic but the underlying issue is what is at the base of your entire 'mission' too. Women in general have paradoxical needs. A caring ******* and high quality sperm/dna. Some women can use that in the way you would like: have sex with alpha males while having a caring man at home. Most women tho will (initially) be turned off by beta men wanting to share their wife. So, as a women is instinctively thinking about her future you must always be aware of how she perceives you.

Want to make sure she feels safe with your commitment? The answer is easy: make sure she knows you love her, every day. The more opaque part? finding out how your wife handles the afore mentioned paradox.

Thank you for your post. Yeah, the IR porn was never her idea but she warmed up to it. At first she wasn't into it only because the sex seemed staged, not because she wasn't attractive to the black men. Once I found more amateur IR she has seemed okay with it. But again, it wasn't her idea to watch the IR porn and she has never really been into porn outside of me suggesting it as a way to spice up our sex life.