My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. My boyfriend is the best thing that has happened in my life. He's a bit nerdy, but very sweet, respects me, and loves me so much. Call me stereotypical, but I love it when he buys me flowers and tells me he loves me. He ever writes poetry for me.
I grew up as a very conservative Christian, so I was really hesitant to have sex. However, it became too hard to control myself and my boyfriend and I finally decided to have sex. As he took his briefs off, he told me he was a bit small, but that penis size doesn't matter. He told me that the size of his heart matters and that is very big. Me, never having sex before and in love with my boyfriend, said that I didn't care about his penis size. Looking back at that moment, I was very tight, but I still could barely feel him. His penis smaller than the size of my index finger. Moreover, he could only last two minutes going at a slow rate. When he pumps even a little bit faster, he cums.
This continued for 6 months. We had sex almost every night, but I never once came close to orgasming. I was sexually frustrated, but I thought this was normal cause I hadn't had sex with anyone else before. However, one day I was in a rush when going to the gym and I accidentally walked into the male locker rooms. I gasped and quickly turned around as I saw my African American trainer naked with his penis hanging down. It was so damn big! After I left the gym, I went online and watched porn. I never watched porn before because of my religious beliefs, but I wanted to see what other penises looked like. I watched videos of big penises, and the women moaning. They looked like they were in intense pleasure. My boyfriend never made me moan. To cut a long story short, I had sex with my trainer and it was the best experience of my life. I can't even begin to describe the level of physical pleasure I experienced.
However, I feel super guilty for cheating on my boyfriend. But his big heart can't make me orgasm like a big dick. My trainer is pretty douchey and I know he doesn't respect me much, but he makes me enter another world with his penis.
I later figured out about cuckolding. After I read about it, I realized that it's totally natural. In all species, the alpha male dominates the beta males and has sex with the females. It makes total sense to strengthen the species.
I was wondering how I can cuckold my boyfriend? I love him so damn much, but I can't go back to having sex with only him after experiencing an alpha male. However, he loves and cherishes me so much. He fulfills my emotional/intellectual needs while my trainer fulfills my physical needs. Any advice is appreciated.