Anyone else simply let their wife cheat on you without her knowing that you know it all?

[tdv]

My gf has been texting an ex of hers and other guys for years. She's doesn't know the ipad she thought she lost is still linked to her phone! It's hot knowing the ******* she does, but fucking difficult not busting her on it!

 

[Zsozo]

Long time anonymous reader here and I have literally no one to share my situation with.

My story:

I (38M) met my wife (36F) at work 10 years ago at work and we have been married for 7 years with a 6 year old kid. We are both your regular upper middle class, gym going successful New Yorkers. She is tall skinny blonde - does yoga type. I am a alpha in the boardroom and a cuck in the bedroom type. She had only 3-4 douchebag white guys before me and was pretty straight A girl before we met. I always had cuckold desires but she would always say no to swinger resorts or sex clubs or any notion of involving anyone else. But, over the years - our sex life went from once a day to once a month (stress, *******, jobs, finances) etc.

Around 3.5 years ago - she started being suspicious. Hiding her phone, spending lots of time with her phone in the bathroom (she would always leave her phone charging when showering before but now she would take it to the bathroom with her), working super late, traveling to "conferences", going out "with the girls" etc. I became suspicious. We share the same family cellphone plan and I could see she was spending hours on the phone (the times matched to when she went to the bathroom or when she was commuting but not during work) and thousands of texts to a single number from our cellphone bills online. It was easy to find the number belonged to a coworker of her's. But, strangely, on her phone - I found no evidence of calls or texts to the number at all - not even a contact! It only showed up in our detailed bill online in T-Mobile!

Turns out, she has been very good about deleting all her call history and texts (it was hard but not impossible to distract her and grab her phone when she went to pick up the mail or was in a conference call on her computer). I then ****** her to switch to an Android (she hated it but I convinced her saying its easier since I also have an Android) and thankfully, in Android, deleting your text from Google Messages makes it go to a deleted folder which she never clears.

Reading through her texts from her trash folder made my head explode. She has been fucking this coworker for a while it seems. She would fly to him during conferences or meet him in "day hotels" all over the town to fuck. This guy was an older (early 60s) fat black guy at her company who made less money than me - he was a lowly IT guy and my wife is an executive at her company. Why the hell would she pick this guy to fuck???

Turns out - this guy became friends with her at her company - helping her with IT problems. Then, when we had some dumb arguments, he was a shoulder to cry on. At some point shortly, they hooked up after work. Since then he is doing things with my wife I never knew she was into. Things slowly escalated between them from vanilla to a S&M type relationship. He would whip her, fuck her ass (she told me she did not like anal), give her "tasks" to do (like take off her panties at work or flash someone in public), invite his friends to the hotel room while she was tied up. I knew all this from deleted texts from her phone (they text and send pics a lot and discuss what they are going to do next). She would book hotels and pay for his flights to fuck him! And this guy has the largest horse cock I have ever seen from the dickpics he has sent her and she loves it!

I came to know about this about 6 months after she hooked up with the guy. Since I almost always knew when she was coming back from being fucked and dominated, it made me more horny and I would try to initiate sex when she would come home. Initially, she would deny me sex after she would come back from her hookups because she was afraid that I would discover her secret but she slowly let up. She would initially try to "freshen up" after coming home before having sex with me but I would just lie that "hey you smell horny; I want you; lets fuck" and she would slowly loosen up. Ofcourse her pussy would smell like sex or rubber (she fucks her guy bareback but when he invites other men she uses rubbers) but I would pretend I don't notice when I go down on her. Nowadays its almost a Pavlov's dog response - she comes home and I go down on her and find cum in her pussy and I pretend I did not notice and she thinks I don't know lol. She is even more hornier now when she comes home from her affairs. She has no clue I know!

But, strangely when I bring up cuck porn or BBC porn - she says she is not into it! She says she likes our usual "lesbian porn" that we sometime watch (hard to watch now with a kid in a tiny 2 bedroom NYC apartment). But, I know its not true - she raves about her lover's BBC in her texts! Whenever I suggest anything close to a cuck type thing, she shuts off...

So I let it be and just enjoy being the secret cuck that I am ... kinda hotter that way in some respects.

I loved meeting the guy once at her company's holiday parties. At the 2017 and 2018 holiday parties she would pretend that she does not know him at the party even though her company is small (around 90 people so almost everyone knows everyone). But, last year (2019 not 2020 since no covid holiday party) - she introduced me to him at the 2019 holiday party and I shook his hand lol - knowing very well that 2 days before he was fucking her in a day hotel.

The hard parts:

1. It is hard to straddle the fine line between "good guy" and "bad guy". When I am good to her like do chores around the house, or get her gifts or take care of the ******* or give her massages - she feels guilty and cancels on her lover (which I don't want lol). When I am "bad" - like we argue about stuff or when I ignore her or when I am selfish, she becomes more emotional than sexual with her lover - they just talk about her problems then (I just want them to fuck lol). I have slowly learned to be just the "right amount of good" where she still loves me and has sex with me but still goes to her lover for extra spice in her sex life. The secret formula here is to be generally nice but aloof and keep the sex vanilla with her. Ideally, I really want to be the good guy and still have her just cheat on me sexually but not emotionally.

2. I have also struggled myself simply not confessing to her that I know. I really want to tell her "its okay, I know and I approve". I am afraid that this whole arrangement would fall off and she would simply leave the guy and the hot part of this situation would no longer be hot for me if she cucks me because I want it and not because she wants it. Since its been 2+ years she may even take it completely wrong way that I knew it for so long and kinda kindled it all along.

3. I would love to be in the room or next room when she is getting fucked. But this is incredibly hard as even though I know what hotel they are going to meet at from her texts, I have no clue what the room number she is in as they only tell you when she checks in! Sometimes I follow her to the hotel and then she gets in elevator and I know the floor number if she is alone based on where elevator went. Then I take the stairs to the floor and wait for her lover to show up on the floor and figure out the room. Then I scramble downstairs and try to book the room next door. All this requires a lot of luck - me being free at the time, winters are easier (everyone wears a parka with face cover so easy to hide from her), she taking the elevator alone, her guy being late and room being available next to her. But, I have managed it twice in the last two years and jacked off while listening to her getting fucked the next door.


Anyone else in the same boat as me? Or am I just fucked?

Don't change anything! If you tell her you know everything, she will almost certainly part with you. But at least she's not having sex with you anymore.

 

[tiny_tim]

For the OP... Maybe leave some BBC porn on your phone/computer for her to find. Admit you're into it, then let the conversation move from there.

 

[ontcpl]

That’s basically how our situation led to this...

 

[RegiousBull63]

Is hot as fuck. Especially wanting to add to the pleasure and be apart of it.

 

[superbetacuck1]

Kinda. I had my suspicions and kept them to myself. Got boners that I didn’t really understand. I was always the jealous type. Discovered cuck kinks. Long story short, when she finally confessed and my suspicions were proven true, I had to prove to her that I didn’t mind and I still loved her and wanted her. Kind of a mind fuck when you think about it. She cheated on me and I’m the one trying to prove to her that I’m still 100% committed. Obviously why I’m on this site.

 

[RandC]

My husband lets me make my own dates nowadays ..so I try to date my regulars

 

[RegiousBull63]

My husband lets me make my own dates nowadays ..so I try to date my regulars

I'm line for any new ones
I can imagine you're pretty sexy.

 

[BillWhite]

My wife dated guys behind my back before we got married. When I found out I was mad for a short time then realized that it was a turn on for me.

 

[jj3some]

Find out the best way for you both, that is one option if you both are subtle.

 

[Michaeldownya]

Yea man I could honestly say that's how I became a cuck.

 

[bigcowboy]

Is

You are,but.............(just shittin')It always could be much worse. She could have been cheating on you with full blown lesbians-and left you. That happened to a guy I know. You love her-you can turn it into an exciting thing.

happened to me, my 1st ex wife. Not shared her women with me.

 

[Marie125]

Husband told me later that he knew about it and that he was turned on by it. He was jerking off to my dirty panties in the hamper.

 

[JenNWayne]

Husband told me later that he knew about it and that he was turned on by it. He was jerking off to my dirty panties in the hamper.

He knew his wife wasn’t wrong and wanted to share in her joy

 

[cuckandmilf]

My wife cheated early on, and it's all I masturbate to. She started going out with women after work, after we got married, before we had *******. She enjoyed the experience of going out and meeting men. She never looked to hook up intentionally, it just seemed to happen. She likes being hit on by sexy guys, not the pushy ones, and she likes dancing and kissing. Sometimes sex happened, I’m sure. I’m not an idiot. I know she wanted sex. She never had much of a libido with me after our first year together, new relationship energy gone, etc., although I was the first guy to make her cum. Years later, I found out she had a bit of a wild past. She started to make out of nowhere (for her) comments when she was drinking, like “sometimes a girl just needs to find a guy to bend you over and fuck you hard.” She made me stay home 90% of the time, especially on girl trips out of town, and I wasn’t ever allowed to clean her due to her guilt. She had permission and encouragement (after I suspected--correctly--she was already cheating), but denies anything ever happened. I suspect several make out sessions, at least a few one night stands, etc. Not sure of the whole picture. Obviously it started with her drinking with her girl friends, dancing, fucking random guys who hit on her. It really seemed to scratch some itch she had. I know the guilt or "shame" of cheating weighs on her, but she also seemed somewhat content during this period. The few times I was allowed with her, seeing her out at bars, were the few times she seemed actually horny. But when we got home, that quickly shut down. She just wasn’t horny for me… She also denied me sex completely for about the same five year period, called me her "roommate" instead of husband, and has kind of lost interest in sex with me since we resumed having sex and had *******. To be fair, I have a small penis, and am impotent and/or a premature ejaculator. I also remove most body hair and wear women's undies, which turns her off. Honestly, my penis feels lost in men's underwear.

I had cuck tendencies well before meeting my wife, but she fueled them, and then some, watching her get ready to go out hundreds of times, let alone the nights she was late or stayed out all night. I think about the cheating and cum instantly, even though she won't share details. Would like to hear the perspective of other women on why she won't share details now, years later, when I am clearly okay with it.

 

[Tinyteddy]

My ex cheated for years was to stupid to know I was aware of it . She worked at cell phone place pretty much went down on every guy that bought a phone

 

[cuckandmilf]

My ex cheated for years was to stupid to know I was aware of it . She worked at cell phone place pretty much went down on every guy that bought a phone

Did she say why? What was your reaction?

 

[Tinyteddy]

Just a dam where I guesa

 

[Staghubby40]

Dude i just red the end but, fuck yes, my ex wife fucked tiny white dicks when she cheated on me n it pisses me off they werent 12" black dicks. I seen her phone talking 2 some guy about it...so i would fuckher Everytime i knew she was going to cheat i would fuck her and nut on her tits and when she would just get done fucking him i would go and cum in her. I would t kiss her till the next day. I got off knowing how much dick she had to take so i wouldnt know. We split and she cheats on her new man with me. She makes me cum in her all the time. And she will even rub it on her and leave it, go home to him and make him eat my dried cum up. Hes not into it she just doesnt tell him. Now we talk alot about the dick she is taking im sad her pussy is still tight. That guy cant be that stupid. Lol

Wife was cheating on me for 6 years with BBC. Her best friend broke down and tole me one night as she was with her many times when it happened. I couldn't believe that while she was telling me about how some of the encounters went down, how rock hard my coxk was becoming. I let it go on for 4 more years before I confronted her about it.

 

[samuelk]

My wife works nights at a restaurant-lounge. Normally she gets off work around midnight, so since I go to work early in the morning I'm usually in bed when she gets home. One night around midnight our phone rang. When I picked up, and said hello, there was no reply. I was about to hang up, but then I heard my wife's voice, "Why are you looking at me like that?" There was a reply, a male voice that I couldn't make out, and whatever the guys said made her laugh, and she said, "We better not. What if someone comes in." Again I couldn't make out the reply, but she giggled again, and I then heard a guy say, "Here, let me help you with that." It was quiet for a minute, and then I heard her moaning, followed by her usual, "Oh yeah, oh yeah," which she does when she's getting oral. That went on for a while and then it was, "Let me suck that big cock." Then it was him, "Suck it good if you want me to fuck you, that's right. It wasn't long before I heard her getting fucked, and whoever it was, he was giving it to her good. She was going oh oh oh when the phone went dead.
About 45 minutes later, she got home, went in the bathroom briefly and then came to bed. I started to touch her, and she was still turned on. I tried to go down on her, but she stopped me and got on top, doing her cowgirl thing. It was pretty intense, and i didn't last very long.
We've never talked about it, but at the staff Christmas party I was able to figure out who it was. A young black guy who was a new assistant manager. It was pretty obvious the way they interacted with each other.