secrethubby
Male
Long time anonymous reader here and I have literally no one to share my situation with.
My story:
I (38M) met my wife (36F) at work 10 years ago at work and we have been married for 7 years with a 6 year old kid. We are both your regular upper middle class, gym going successful New Yorkers. She is tall skinny blonde - does yoga type. I am a alpha in the boardroom and a cuck in the bedroom type. She had only 3-4 douchebag white guys before me and was pretty straight A girl before we met. I always had cuckold desires but she would always say no to swinger resorts or sex clubs or any notion of involving anyone else. But, over the years - our sex life went from once a day to once a month (stress, *******, jobs, finances) etc.
Around 3.5 years ago - she started being suspicious. Hiding her phone, spending lots of time with her phone in the bathroom (she would always leave her phone charging when showering before but now she would take it to the bathroom with her), working super late, traveling to "conferences", going out "with the girls" etc. I became suspicious. We share the same family cellphone plan and I could see she was spending hours on the phone (the times matched to when she went to the bathroom or when she was commuting but not during work) and thousands of texts to a single number from our cellphone bills online. It was easy to find the number belonged to a coworker of her's. But, strangely, on her phone - I found no evidence of calls or texts to the number at all - not even a contact! It only showed up in our detailed bill online in T-Mobile!
Turns out, she has been very good about deleting all her call history and texts (it was hard but not impossible to distract her and grab her phone when she went to pick up the mail or was in a conference call on her computer). I then ****** her to switch to an Android (she hated it but I convinced her saying its easier since I also have an Android) and thankfully, in Android, deleting your text from Google Messages makes it go to a deleted folder which she never clears.
Reading through her texts from her trash folder made my head explode. She has been fucking this coworker for a while it seems. She would fly to him during conferences or meet him in "day hotels" all over the town to fuck. This guy was an older (early 60s) fat black guy at her company who made less money than me - he was a lowly IT guy and my wife is an executive at her company. Why the hell would she pick this guy to fuck???
Turns out - this guy became friends with her at her company - helping her with IT problems. Then, when we had some dumb arguments, he was a shoulder to cry on. At some point shortly, they hooked up after work. Since then he is doing things with my wife I never knew she was into. Things slowly escalated between them from vanilla to a S&M type relationship. He would whip her, fuck her ass (she told me she did not like anal), give her "tasks" to do (like take off her panties at work or flash someone in public), invite his friends to the hotel room while she was tied up. I knew all this from deleted texts from her phone (they text and send pics a lot and discuss what they are going to do next). She would book hotels and pay for his flights to fuck him! And this guy has the largest horse cock I have ever seen from the dickpics he has sent her and she loves it!
I came to know about this about 6 months after she hooked up with the guy. Since I almost always knew when she was coming back from being fucked and dominated, it made me more horny and I would try to initiate sex when she would come home. Initially, she would deny me sex after she would come back from her hookups because she was afraid that I would discover her secret but she slowly let up. She would initially try to "freshen up" after coming home before having sex with me but I would just lie that "hey you smell horny; I want you; lets fuck" and she would slowly loosen up. Ofcourse her pussy would smell like sex or rubber (she fucks her guy bareback but when he invites other men she uses rubbers) but I would pretend I don't notice when I go down on her. Nowadays its almost a Pavlov's dog response - she comes home and I go down on her and find cum in her pussy and I pretend I did not notice and she thinks I don't know lol. She is even more hornier now when she comes home from her affairs. She has no clue I know!
But, strangely when I bring up cuck porn or BBC porn - she says she is not into it! She says she likes our usual "lesbian porn" that we sometime watch (hard to watch now with a kid in a tiny 2 bedroom NYC apartment). But, I know its not true - she raves about her lover's BBC in her texts! Whenever I suggest anything close to a cuck type thing, she shuts off...
So I let it be and just enjoy being the secret cuck that I am ... kinda hotter that way in some respects.
I loved meeting the guy once at her company's holiday parties. At the 2017 and 2018 holiday parties she would pretend that she does not know him at the party even though her company is small (around 90 people so almost everyone knows everyone). But, last year (2019 not 2020 since no covid holiday party) - she introduced me to him at the 2019 holiday party and I shook his hand lol - knowing very well that 2 days before he was fucking her in a day hotel.
The hard parts:
1. It is hard to straddle the fine line between "good guy" and "bad guy". When I am good to her like do chores around the house, or get her gifts or take care of the ******* or give her massages - she feels guilty and cancels on her lover (which I don't want lol). When I am "bad" - like we argue about stuff or when I ignore her or when I am selfish, she becomes more emotional than sexual with her lover - they just talk about her problems then (I just want them to fuck lol). I have slowly learned to be just the "right amount of good" where she still loves me and has sex with me but still goes to her lover for extra spice in her sex life. The secret formula here is to be generally nice but aloof and keep the sex vanilla with her. Ideally, I really want to be the good guy and still have her just cheat on me sexually but not emotionally.
2. I have also struggled myself simply not confessing to her that I know. I really want to tell her "its okay, I know and I approve". I am afraid that this whole arrangement would fall off and she would simply leave the guy and the hot part of this situation would no longer be hot for me if she cucks me because I want it and not because she wants it. Since its been 2+ years she may even take it completely wrong way that I knew it for so long and kinda kindled it all along.
3. I would love to be in the room or next room when she is getting fucked. But this is incredibly hard as even though I know what hotel they are going to meet at from her texts, I have no clue what the room number she is in as they only tell you when she checks in! Sometimes I follow her to the hotel and then she gets in elevator and I know the floor number if she is alone based on where elevator went. Then I take the stairs to the floor and wait for her lover to show up on the floor and figure out the room. Then I scramble downstairs and try to book the room next door. All this requires a lot of luck - me being free at the time, winters are easier (everyone wears a parka with face cover so easy to hide from her), she taking the elevator alone, her guy being late and room being available next to her. But, I have managed it twice in the last two years and jacked off while listening to her getting fucked the next door.
Anyone else in the same boat as me? Or am I just fucked?
My story:
I (38M) met my wife (36F) at work 10 years ago at work and we have been married for 7 years with a 6 year old kid. We are both your regular upper middle class, gym going successful New Yorkers. She is tall skinny blonde - does yoga type. I am a alpha in the boardroom and a cuck in the bedroom type. She had only 3-4 douchebag white guys before me and was pretty straight A girl before we met. I always had cuckold desires but she would always say no to swinger resorts or sex clubs or any notion of involving anyone else. But, over the years - our sex life went from once a day to once a month (stress, *******, jobs, finances) etc.
Around 3.5 years ago - she started being suspicious. Hiding her phone, spending lots of time with her phone in the bathroom (she would always leave her phone charging when showering before but now she would take it to the bathroom with her), working super late, traveling to "conferences", going out "with the girls" etc. I became suspicious. We share the same family cellphone plan and I could see she was spending hours on the phone (the times matched to when she went to the bathroom or when she was commuting but not during work) and thousands of texts to a single number from our cellphone bills online. It was easy to find the number belonged to a coworker of her's. But, strangely, on her phone - I found no evidence of calls or texts to the number at all - not even a contact! It only showed up in our detailed bill online in T-Mobile!
Turns out, she has been very good about deleting all her call history and texts (it was hard but not impossible to distract her and grab her phone when she went to pick up the mail or was in a conference call on her computer). I then ****** her to switch to an Android (she hated it but I convinced her saying its easier since I also have an Android) and thankfully, in Android, deleting your text from Google Messages makes it go to a deleted folder which she never clears.
Reading through her texts from her trash folder made my head explode. She has been fucking this coworker for a while it seems. She would fly to him during conferences or meet him in "day hotels" all over the town to fuck. This guy was an older (early 60s) fat black guy at her company who made less money than me - he was a lowly IT guy and my wife is an executive at her company. Why the hell would she pick this guy to fuck???
Turns out - this guy became friends with her at her company - helping her with IT problems. Then, when we had some dumb arguments, he was a shoulder to cry on. At some point shortly, they hooked up after work. Since then he is doing things with my wife I never knew she was into. Things slowly escalated between them from vanilla to a S&M type relationship. He would whip her, fuck her ass (she told me she did not like anal), give her "tasks" to do (like take off her panties at work or flash someone in public), invite his friends to the hotel room while she was tied up. I knew all this from deleted texts from her phone (they text and send pics a lot and discuss what they are going to do next). She would book hotels and pay for his flights to fuck him! And this guy has the largest horse cock I have ever seen from the dickpics he has sent her and she loves it!
I came to know about this about 6 months after she hooked up with the guy. Since I almost always knew when she was coming back from being fucked and dominated, it made me more horny and I would try to initiate sex when she would come home. Initially, she would deny me sex after she would come back from her hookups because she was afraid that I would discover her secret but she slowly let up. She would initially try to "freshen up" after coming home before having sex with me but I would just lie that "hey you smell horny; I want you; lets fuck" and she would slowly loosen up. Ofcourse her pussy would smell like sex or rubber (she fucks her guy bareback but when he invites other men she uses rubbers) but I would pretend I don't notice when I go down on her. Nowadays its almost a Pavlov's dog response - she comes home and I go down on her and find cum in her pussy and I pretend I did not notice and she thinks I don't know lol. She is even more hornier now when she comes home from her affairs. She has no clue I know!
But, strangely when I bring up cuck porn or BBC porn - she says she is not into it! She says she likes our usual "lesbian porn" that we sometime watch (hard to watch now with a kid in a tiny 2 bedroom NYC apartment). But, I know its not true - she raves about her lover's BBC in her texts! Whenever I suggest anything close to a cuck type thing, she shuts off...
So I let it be and just enjoy being the secret cuck that I am ... kinda hotter that way in some respects.
I loved meeting the guy once at her company's holiday parties. At the 2017 and 2018 holiday parties she would pretend that she does not know him at the party even though her company is small (around 90 people so almost everyone knows everyone). But, last year (2019 not 2020 since no covid holiday party) - she introduced me to him at the 2019 holiday party and I shook his hand lol - knowing very well that 2 days before he was fucking her in a day hotel.
The hard parts:
1. It is hard to straddle the fine line between "good guy" and "bad guy". When I am good to her like do chores around the house, or get her gifts or take care of the ******* or give her massages - she feels guilty and cancels on her lover (which I don't want lol). When I am "bad" - like we argue about stuff or when I ignore her or when I am selfish, she becomes more emotional than sexual with her lover - they just talk about her problems then (I just want them to fuck lol). I have slowly learned to be just the "right amount of good" where she still loves me and has sex with me but still goes to her lover for extra spice in her sex life. The secret formula here is to be generally nice but aloof and keep the sex vanilla with her. Ideally, I really want to be the good guy and still have her just cheat on me sexually but not emotionally.
2. I have also struggled myself simply not confessing to her that I know. I really want to tell her "its okay, I know and I approve". I am afraid that this whole arrangement would fall off and she would simply leave the guy and the hot part of this situation would no longer be hot for me if she cucks me because I want it and not because she wants it. Since its been 2+ years she may even take it completely wrong way that I knew it for so long and kinda kindled it all along.
3. I would love to be in the room or next room when she is getting fucked. But this is incredibly hard as even though I know what hotel they are going to meet at from her texts, I have no clue what the room number she is in as they only tell you when she checks in! Sometimes I follow her to the hotel and then she gets in elevator and I know the floor number if she is alone based on where elevator went. Then I take the stairs to the floor and wait for her lover to show up on the floor and figure out the room. Then I scramble downstairs and try to book the room next door. All this requires a lot of luck - me being free at the time, winters are easier (everyone wears a parka with face cover so easy to hide from her), she taking the elevator alone, her guy being late and room being available next to her. But, I have managed it twice in the last two years and jacked off while listening to her getting fucked the next door.
Anyone else in the same boat as me? Or am I just fucked?
