We have both achieved our goals. Husband is now participating at the same level with me. But I feel I am so changed: on a scale from standard housewife and professional bookworm, I was close to the latter. Now, my main sexual partner is not my husband, and I'm thinking about sex with my black boyfriend 75% of the time. My perspectives have changed. I wanted to continue with my professional development. But now I feel worried about it stopping me from seeing him as often as I want. I'm now more concerned about my looks and about being desired by men other than husband and specially my black 'bull'. Husband likes the way I look now and that I'm more conscious about my body and getting curvier. But sometimes I feel I have betrayed my objectives and wonder whether I could find the way back.