Preferences

[spadedqueen4bc]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

 

[submisse]

I would say it depends on the QoS, if you want to set standards that is up to you. As a sub, I accept whoever my Husband gives me to. I don't have any idea about the ratios here. I chat with a few more women than men

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

I would say it depends on the QoS, if you want to set standards that is up to you. As a sub, I accept whoever my Husband gives me to. I don't have any idea about the ratios here. I chat with a few more women than men

If I was in a true sub position then I would accept whoever for sure...but haven’t been a sub in a long time...choosing a more proactive position now

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

Yes, Women should have standards!
Most men should have higher standards too

I feel like a lot of people think just because I say I’m a QoS that means I should sleep with any black guy but I still have to feel attracted to them???? I don’t just drop for anyone

 

[CoupleNewToIt]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

It makes perfect sense for the QOS and/or her husband to set the standards. We haven't been with that many BBC, but that has been a given from the beginning. We don't state a reason for not responding to a come-on, we just don't respond.

 

[PAWG4BBCs]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

In my experience I think we are both, my boyfriend is looking for a cock size and I the chemistry between me and the bull

 

[AnnieS]

I definitely have standards and guidelines. I won't be with anyone who is too young. I won't be with anyone who is photo shy or has demands that it be 1 on 1 and not with my husband or behind his back. I won't be with anyone who is not D&D. And most importantly I won't be with someone I dont find attractive or who disrespects me or my relationship. This is a respectful mutually enhancing situation not a one-sided dominated fuck party. Thats what ****** are for. If you dont want to abide by the boundaries I set or my husband, then move along. If you are respectful, fun, engaging and not full of ******* then we will have a very very good time.

 

[Mr&Ms TopCat]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

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[spadedqueen4bc]

Thanks to everyone for responding....just felt like lately my expectations haven’t been taken seriously and I’ve been made to feel guilty for not accepting men that don’t meet what i ask for. Thanks for the reassurance

 

[Jdingo619]

Everyone no matter what is allowed to have preferences and boundaries and also deserves to have them respected at all times period!

In the lifestyle everyone is also allowed to desire what they want and request and even screen for what they want period. Now with this particular point being said some people are full of ******* and it's better to just ghost them and not respond to them rather than call them out on being full of ******* because it's the nice thing to do.

Also if you request something or require something that is outside of the other person's boundaries or kinks then expect to get respectfully turned down.

For example: On a swinger site I have a profile and my profile says that I am a straight Man. I still get contacted by both couples and single men who are not the same orientation and want me to engage in activities that are outside of my orientation. To me those people are full of ******* and give the lifestyle a bad name.

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

Everyone no matter what is allowed to have preferences and boundaries and also deserves to have them respected at all times period!

In the lifestyle everyone is also allowed to desire what they want and request and even screen for what they want period. Now with this particular point being said some people are full of ******* and it's better to just ghost them and not respond to them rather than call them out on being full of ******* because it's the nice thing to do.

Also if you request something or require something that is outside of the other person's boundaries or kinks then expect to get respectfully turned down.

For example: On a swinger site I have a profile and my profile says that I am a straight Man. I still get contacted by both couples and single men who are not the same orientation and want me to engage in activities that are outside of my orientation. To me those people are full of ******* and give the lifestyle a bad name.

I do agree with your issues that’s just plain disrespectful. My biggest issue is height...I’m not sexually attracted to guys shorter than me but I’m tall for a woman...but they lie about their height and I show up to meet and I’m looking down at them...when I say something about it I’m supposedly in the wrong...even tho in it lifestyle accounts I make it clear I’m only interested in men taller than me abd I bring it up when we talk before we meet

 

[Jdingo619]

I do agree with your issues that’s just plain disrespectful. My biggest issue is height...I’m not sexually attracted to guys shorter than me but I’m tall for a woman...but they lie about their height and I show up to meet and I’m looking down at them...when I say something about it I’m supposedly in the wrong...even tho in it lifestyle accounts I make it clear I’m only interested in men taller than me abd I bring it up when we talk before we meet

There are men, women, and couple's floating around the lifestyle that are clearly of low quality and vibration, but I deal with everything on a case by case basis. What I do not do is allow those interactions and experiences dictate who I am or how I operate in the lifestyle.

If I read a womans or couple's profile or add on a swinger site and half of their introduction is them complaining about their bad experiences and what they don't want I automatically pass them up or delete them because as far as I'm concerned they are damaged goods and its showing right there through their very profile.

Say what you want and thoroughly screen out what you don't want. For example if you tell the guys "you gotta be 6' fervor taller to ride this ride"! You also tell them "please don't waste my time because if you do not fit the description or if you lie about it then you will be blocked or you will be rejected in person with no exceptions!

During the time when you chat that when you say "hey man I'm not kidding about the height thing if you're really not 6'4 like you said I am not interested and I will walk in person. This is none negotiable with me. I just hate when people make a whole portion of their profile literally a rant about their bad experiences.

 

[DiscreetGent]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

The lifestyle is a bit harder when you have standards but definitely worth it. Don’t settle for anything less than you know you deserve.

 

[tdv]

Standards? She's a sub and she trusts me to set her standards for her and that's a dominering BBC over 9 inches

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

There are men, women, and couple's floating around the lifestyle that are clearly of low quality and vibration, but I deal with everything on a case by case basis. What I do not do is allow those interactions and experiences dictate who I am or how I operate in the lifestyle.

If I read a womans or couple's profile or add on a swinger site and half of their introduction is them complaining about their bad experiences and what they don't want I automatically pass them up or delete them because as far as I'm concerned they are damaged goods and its showing right there through their very profile.

Say what you want and thoroughly screen out what you don't want. For example if you tell the guys "you gotta be 6' fervor taller to ride this ride"! You also tell them "please don't waste my time because if you do not fit the description or if you lie about it then you will be blocked or you will be rejected in person with no exceptions!

During the time when you chat that when you say "hey man I'm not kidding about the height thing if you're really not 6'4 like you said I am not interested and I will walk in person. This is none negotiable with me. I just hate when people make a whole portion of their profile literally a rant about their bad experiences.

I pretty much wore it like you said, looking for black men that are 6 foot or taller only, but I don’t drag on about it, just make sure that expectation is in my profile...but some still think I don’t mean it I guess And I also still get messages from white guys tooSo I guess ppl either just don’t read or don’t care what I asked for

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

Standards? She's a sub and she trusts me to set her standards for her and that's a dominering BBC over 9 inches

If I was a sub I would obviously trust my Dom to get me what I need.

 

[Jdingo619]

I pretty much wore it like you said, looking for black men that are 6 foot or taller only, but I don’t drag on about it, just make sure that expectation is in my profile...but some still think I don’t mean it I guess And I also still get messages from white guys tooSo I guess ppl either just don’t read or don’t care what I asked for

Oh they read alright, and they actually do care about what you asked for, but they are just hoping that they can change your mind because you haven't been with them and experienced how spectacular they are and they think you are missing out!

 

[spadedqueen4bc]

Oh they read alright, and they actually do care about what you asked for, but they are just hoping that they can change your mind because you haven't been with them and experienced how spectacular they are and they think you are missing out!

1000% true!!!

 

[Decadence]

Is it wrong for a QoS to have set standards for the type of guy she prefers? Is it okay to expect certain things in the men she seeks?
Also, is the ratio of white women to black men in this lifestyle heavier on the men or women side? Do women get to be more selective on their partners or do men get to?
just curious to everyone’s thoughts and experiences...

They deserve absolutely whatever they want.

 

[Chuchipower]

I feel like a lot of people think just because I say I’m a QoS that means I should sleep with any black guy but I still have to feel attracted to them???? I don’t just drop for anyone

In my case when going out,the fastest group of BBC in noticing that i'm on the hunt,get me as their prize