My hubby has erection issues that keep him from maintaining an erection. I would give it to him if he could keep his dick hard, but he can't. He has told me he gets off better watching than if we try to have sex, because there is no pressure to "perform" and he knows how much I get turned on by being in my black BFs arms. He eats pussy like a savage, though!
Your situation sounds so familiar—
Since my wife went black, sex between us became less frequent and I gradually accepted the fact that I could not compete with her black boyfriends. I can only last a few minutes and felt inferior. She did her best not to smile or joke about my diminishing performance. When I overheard her on the phone telling her girlfriend she “pity fucked” me the night before, I gave up any idea of having meaningful sex with her. She is very happy now and I am relieved that I no longer feel responsible for fulfilling her strong needs.
Sex between us now consists of me giving her frequent oral and she giving me handjobs.