.....That's why its so important to discuss parameters of these events BEFORE actually doing them. If a girl doesn't want to be kissed in the mouth, then you don't kiss her in the mouth just as if she wants her ass licked and the black guy says I don't do that ... then no licking the ass.
Don't like the parameters ... you don't get it together and no one gets upset.
.....Many girls look at this even as "dirty sex" ... going beyond the norms and doing something that they know would be forbidden by her upbringing. She wants to get wild a few times a year and let her hair hang down and just make everything animalistic SEX. You don't see two dogs kissing each other while they have sex ... its SEX, no love, no emotion ... just the overwhelming feeling of good intercourse. One might say "they're just being used" when they won't kiss ... well, congratulations, that's EXACTLY what is happening, usually. Enjoy it your mates way and she/he might want to get it on with you once again, and again.