I would like to tell the stories of some of my wife's experiences

[seldomseen]

For those who've read much of what we've written about my involvement in interracial sex,I realize I'm repeating myself,but there was no decision necessary for me from the beginning,but I did make a decision after several years. I'll try to explain as briefly as I can.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that if I had been born and grew up a little farther north,I would be Canadian. I didn't have much contact with black people early in my life,because there were almost none nearby. I hadn't been out on my own for long when I met my hubby in a college town in the south,where there's also a significant military presence. My first sex with black men was with some of his buddies,and it didn't require much thought or any decision based on their skin color. People,and cocks come in various colors,and I loved sex. If I thought about skin color at all,it was only a passing thought,because I don't remember even thinking about it.

After moving to Georgia,coincidence and basic needs prompted me to sex with one black man,then another,because they were there,and we all needed sex. I'm sure Curt purposely engineered my going all black for the next three plus years. It actually took a little time for me to realize it,but when I started concentrating on it,I found it to be very erotic. It worked really well for me. The chemistry between most of the black guys and me was amazing. I appreciated it then,but not as much as I've grown to since.

Even after three years of practically living with black men around the clock,I thought that I would return to a more varied sex life,and for a while,maybe a year or so,I did. Even during that time,I would always gravitate toward black men. My two best friends were black guys. My libido went wild when I was pregnant,and it was sex with them that sustained me and kept me from losing my mind. In the months after giving birth,I decided that I wanted to go exclusively with black men. I've varied from it,but only a little bit. It just works for me.

So,there's my decision the way it happened for me. It came farther into it than what I read and hear with most people.

For those who're interested in knowing,Thanks again

 

[Janice K]

I'm having a really hard time getting things down like I want in my writing. Some feelings and moods are difficult to put into words,and I'm finding that too often when I read what I've written,it doesn't accurately depict how things really felt as it was happening. I'm really trying,and to those who've offered encouragement,Thank You!

One individual whose personality I'm having difficulty describing is Bonnie's husband. I'll call him Jimmy from here on. He wasn't all bad,all the time. I think he had issues within himself that made it hard for some people,myself included,to see much good in him. I don't think he had a good handle on his emotions. That's probably true with all of us at one time or another,but it was beyond what I would consider normal with Jimmy. He was always interested in what I was doing. I know this because he was constantly asking Bonnie questions about me,in spite of the fact that we barely got along. I wondered sometimes if he was envious of my hubby. He seemed to like some of the same things my hubby likes,but he wasn't emotionally prepared to deal with his own wife being taken by other men,so he concentrated his attention on me. I can't be sure that I'm making the correct analysis,but that's how it seemed to me.

Just from what little you've told us about Bonnie's husband (Jimmy) I'm having a hard time reading him also..Not sure if you've thought of it this way but this is what I'm thinking.. You mentioned that he's known about your past experiences with black guys and most likely knew that other than your husband, if you were going to have sex, you were black only.. and maybe he had a bad case of the HOTS for you and would have really wanted to have sex with you but because you only wanted Blac men, he knew you would most likely turn him down and because he couldn't have you, he just thought that by sending you all these black guys, he was trying to make you out as a slut and thinking it was degrading you so much that it might ruin your marriage or something to that effect..he just wanted to ruin your reputation as much as he can..

I sometimes can't find the right words to say what I'm thinking but do you think I might be right about him..?

 

[seldomseen]

Some people are harder than others to figure out,but I don't think so. If he had the hots for me,it was only in a voyeuristic way. He had a really hot wife in Bonnie,and he wasn't getting it done with her. I don't think he wanted anything from me in a physical sense,but he sure seemed to enjoy keeping up with what I was doing,including speculating on what I might do "if",and he sometimes interfered on my behalf.

 

[Janice K]

I know how much I enjoy recruiting other girls into going black, but once they go there, it's not necessary for me to keep sending more and more black guys her way..she does it all to herself...So because of that, I still can't understand Jimmy's infatuation for sending as many black guys as he can find..

 

[seldomseen]

I've spent considerable time trying to figure all that out. All I know for sure is that I'll never know for sure.

 

[seldomseen]

My slutty reputation was the best thing I had going for me in Washington. I had toned it down to the point that I usually didn't look slutty. It was necessary. had a munchkin quickly approaching pre-K,and too much to get done. I was back in school,working on a four year degree that took me almost twelve years. Getting the occasional "knowing" look from a black guy that told me he knew I was a whore at heart lifted my spirits and gave me something to look forward to. I was really desperate for sex much of that time,and I would take it any way and any place I could get it. Being bent over in a friends bathroom was too common,but it was better than doing without.

 

[seldomseen]

I know I'm rambling now,but that's the way I think sometimes. I read most of the posts my hubby wrote on here,but apparently not all of them,because I learned something today,or was reminded of something I had totally forgotten. That is that we opened up in talking to a swinging couple early on in Germany about my penchant for black men. I had totally forgotten how it came to be that I had opportunity to be with black men again. It was weird there at first,and we stayed quiet for some time,because we didn't know if we could trust anybody. That's also another time when I was headlong into the books,trying to get caught up to where I thought I should be with my studies. I hadn't been able to keep my legs together for long enough to get a formal education. Then having a baby. Come to think of it,that required spreading my legs a lot too. Anything but study I suppose,but I finally got it done.

 

[seldomseen]

Tomorrow's a big day for me,for us. I haven't been really excited yet,but I will be as the time gets closer. I made the motel reservations a couple of days ago,and we're going straight there instead of meeting at the bar. Don't know who or how many will come. Some,or all of those guys we were with at the bar. All that matters to me is that it's good for everybody. I'm sure it will be. My energy and my libido ebbs and flows these days,whereas it used to be sky high all the time. Maybe it's better,because I'm more relaxed,and when the time comes,I'm still as slutty as ever!

 

[seldomseen]

Needless to say,I wasn't born yesterday. My hubby thinks it's his idea,suggesting that I wear "Hot Wife" stuff again,because the young black guys really like it. I was already planning to do that. It's still not really warm,so I'm wearing pants again with my boots and long denim coat. Instead of jeans,this time I'm going to wear tight yoga pants,going for the camel toe look that some men seem to like a lot. I'll wear "Built for Black" thongs that won't show,but as long as I'm going this way,why not? I have a tank top that says "Breed Me",but I'm not wearing it,no matter what he says. Michael bought it,and he made me wear it into an all black area. That was Michael,and he was with me. That's different. I'm going to wear a Black Bull "Lover" top. That's suggestive enough,and not tacky. Besides,the other one really isn't age appropriate for me. I can't get pregnant anymore. If I could,some things we discussed in the past might need to be brought up again. That's a dead end subject that doesn't matter now.

The reason I started this entry saying that I wasn't born yesterday is that I know he's going to get gas and want me to go in to pay for it.

I really do know what you're thinking most of the time,so just relax,sit back,and enjoy the show. That's what best suits you anyway.

Does anybody else have a hubby like him? If so,you're lucky. I pick on him a lot sometimes,but I really love him.

 

[Notsomeangene]

Please excuse me if I prying. I usually observe and remain mostly silent. I'm only wondering if you would mind elaborating on your mention of pregnancy,and it being a dead subject. I understood the point you made about your age,but is there more?

 

[cuckhappy]

I know how much I enjoy recruiting other girls into going black, but once they go there, it's not necessary for me to keep sending more and more black guys her way..she does it all to herself...So because of that, I still can't understand Jimmy's infatuation for sending as many black guys as he can find..

I must agree with you on this , I introduced Kim to black cock and she now find her own ,I believe once a white woman has indulged in black cock ,black men instinctively know they they are easy pray.

 

[seldomseen]

Please excuse me if I prying. I usually observe and remain mostly silent. I'm only wondering if you would mind elaborating on your mention of pregnancy,and it being a dead subject. I understood the point you made about your age,but is there more?

I don't mind at all,but getting into that would take more time than I have right now. I'll try to explain why I said that soon. I promise.

 

[seldomseen]

We're staying until tomorrow. Thought we might have to change rooms,but we're good. Trying to update in the fewest words,because if I get into a lot of details,I'll run out of time.

Three more last night,but two didn't stay late. This is becoming centered mostly on one man,the same one who was most interested in me the first time. I don't know if I've mentioned that I'm prone to infatuations,but I am. It's one of the risks I accept and deal with every time I've been able to live this freely. It's really sweet and enjoyable,and only risky if I let myself forget what it is,and I don't.

A detail from yesterday.....I couldn't get the outfit I described on here to work for my mirror,and when I was done,I wore almost the same clothes I wore last week except the top I wore was a black QOS tank top I had never worn before. The shiny spade on the black cloth worked for me,and when we got here,I was complimented on how I looked,my top being called "classy",and credited with being a good choice. All is well. One of the most noticeable differences for me with these soldiers in contrast to the crew I was with years ago is that these guys are very savvy on cuckolding,whereas the guys in my crew back then weren't. Of course,I wasn't either. The internet has made a big difference,changed expectations. I don't see it as better or worse,just different.

 

[seldomseen]

We tried to drop in on some family since we're here,but found nobody home. They have no idea we're in town,and it's just as well that they don't.

We have a dinner date with my main man,Shawn. After dinner,he's going to introduce me to another of his friends.

This has turned out to be a gorgeous day. After we didn't find anyone at home,we went for a long walk. I can feel how I'm being used with every step I take. I'm sufficiently sore to make me sensitive enough that sex is the best it can be. Hubby hasn't stopped smiling all day. I had to wait several times for him to catch up,because he's watching my ass as I walk,thinking about what I've had and what I'll be getting between my chops. I'm glad he's happy,because it's certainly working for me.

I love the way Shawn naturally takes me over from the second we get together. He holds my hand,and sometimes holds me close with his arm around me,and at breakfast this morning,it was Shawn who pulled my chair out for me. Strong humiliation isn't something that we need,but more and more,I'm liking black men to take charge to a greater degree when we're together in public. I think Michael got me headed in that direction.

Both beds got used last night. We slept in the driest one,and hubby got the one with the most wet spots

I want to take a minute to explain something I found necessary to tell Shawn,and that is that we don't always follow the common cuckold protocol in every respect. I'll start by explaining something my hubby should've,but I think hasn't explained on here,and I'll take it a step beyond what I told him,because this is where I sometimes lay things out that are otherwise strictly between us. My hubby isn't and doesn't want to be a cleaner. That's all I told Shawn. What I'll say here is that he's very sensitive to smell,and has always gotten turned on by my smell,especially when it's been stirred well by other men. I make sure he gets it on him,but it's always in private,after they finish with me. I put my sloppy pussy all over him,including in his face sometimes. I'm kinda forceful sometimes,but he could always stop me if he wanted to badly enough. He doesn't want it in his mouth,and I cooperate,sort of. lol! I don't think he gets much in his mouth In past years,he's avoided kissing me after I've had cocks and cum in my mouth. I used to have to be sneaky and surprise kiss him before he could think. I finally convinced him that he needed to get over that,and he has. After all these years,he's still a work in progress. I'll eventually get him trained properly.

I'm planning a little surprise for hubby for later tonight. It's not a big deal,but I think he'll like it.

 

[seldomseen]

Please excuse me if I prying. I usually observe and remain mostly silent. I'm only wondering if you would mind elaborating on your mention of pregnancy,and it being a dead subject. I understood the point you made about your age,but is there more?

I haven't forgotten your question,or that I promised to address it. I just haven't had time yet. What I can say right now is that my getting pregnant by a black man is something that we've talked about for a long time. We had to,because living like we have,the possibility has always been there,but it goes farther than just that.

I gave birth to one baby. I won't reveal anything about my baby,except to say that my hubby is positively my baby's *******,and I'm happy with every aspect of motherhood. If you ask the question I've asked myself many times,IF I knew long ago many things that I know now,if my baby might have one or more half black siblings,the answer is maybe. If I had had a crystal ball to see into the future long ago,that possibility might have been greater than it already was.

I realize that most people who read this forum are primarily interested in interracial sex,and understandably so. When I get time to get into all I might say about this subject,I might bore some people to tears. I understand,and I also know that many won't agree with my thoughts. That's OK too. I don't want to be argumentative. It's just something I've thought about a lot. If it's completely off the track or inappropriate,I can avoid it,but I don't think it is. Anybody who objects isn't obligated to read it.

 

[seldomseen]

I probably shouldn't attempt to communicate in any way when I'm in such a mood. Hubby's driving,and he's in deep thought. It's all good. I can tell. I didn't sleep much,so I'm likely to crash as soon as we get home.

There's so much to think about,and I'm committed to writing many of my thoughts on here.

Not long ago,maybe as recently as two to three years ago,I had only a vague idea what the word "cuckold" meant,and now I realize that I've been living it for much of my life. I find it odd how terminology can make a person think differently about the same kind of situation or relationship.

I don't feel as unique anymore. Looking around on interracial porn sites has made me think differently. Newsflash! My "niche" is a popular lifestyle,and some of what I see and read seems foreign to everything I think and feel. But,some of it I can easily relate to.

Cuckolding wasn't part of my vocabulary or mindset when Curt and the crew were breaking me in,but that's exactly what it was at that point,and some might say to an extreme degree. For someone who considers herself to be a thinker,I certainly have failed to connect some of the dots.

With Michael and now Shawn,I'm fully aware of my role as it's seen by most people today. It's hard to describe,except that expectations are a little different,if not in reality,at least in my mind. I'm also reminded of a term I've long been familiar with,but didn't always give much thought. That term is "alpha black male". They really stand out,and I must admit that I feel naturally at ease with them. Maybe I'm a little surprised how effortless it is for me to fall into my place. Michael has purposely tested areas where I thought I had limits,and the truth is that I always do whatever it is he wants me to do. Shawn hasn't yet,but I can sense his potential.

On the lighter side of things.........I surprised and stunned my hubby last night. I got him good!

Shawn,my hubby,and I had dinner as planned,just the three of us. It was reasonably warm yesterday,so the coat and boots were in the motel room,and I was glad we brought some lighter clothes. Hubby had no idea what I had brought with me. The reason the yoga pants and top had frustrated me in front of the mirror at home was because they didn't look right with boots. I hoped it might get warmer,so I brought that outfit and a pair of red heels that did look right. I also brought the "Breed Me" top that he had suggested,and I refused to consider.

Of course I didn't wear that to dinner. Shawn had to go on post to fetch a friend who doesn't have a car there,so the plan was for us to meet back at the motel. When Hubby and I got back to the motel,I went into the bathroom and changed into the white yoga pants,making sure that I got a good camel toe effect,put on the red heels and the "Breed Me" top,and announced that we needed to go get gas as I walked out of the bathroom. He was stunned! I grabbed the keys and drove to a busy convenience store on the opposite side of the interstate,got out and pumped the gas myself,walked the length of the lot and went inside,took my time getting drinks and paying for everything,then walked back to the driver's side and got in. In all that time,he hadn't moved. I didn't start the truck immediately. Instead,I leaned into his face and asked him if that had made his dick hard,squeezing it gently to confirm that I had achieved victory as I kissed him. I know very well what will make him cum

I drove back to the motel,and I kept the outfit on until Shawn and his buddy got there.

 

[seldomseen]

Please excuse me if I prying. I usually observe and remain mostly silent. I'm only wondering if you would mind elaborating on your mention of pregnancy,and it being a dead subject. I understood the point you made about your age,but is there more?

It's obviously a dead end subject between us now,because it's too late for me to get pregnant again. I'm struggling with a way to answer the question about if there's more without approaching it chronologically,because I'm sure that will be boring. Let me try this. I'll just state some things that were, and that did and didn't happen,along with some of the reasons it happened as it did. That already sounds complicated,and I want to avoid that.

For the first five or six years of our marriage,I was on the pill. They're not totally reliable,but they work most of the time if you remember to take them every day. I remembered most of the time,but.........

I was able to get pregnant fairly easily,but due to some deficiencies in my reproductive system,staying pregnant for long enough to even know that I was pregnant wasn't usually possible without interference,mostly simple supplements. I didn't know that for years.

Not long after moving into the apartment beside Victor and Curt,we had some conversations about the possibility that I might get pregnant,and of course the odds were that the baby would be black. Hubby wasn't home much,and even if he had been,his sperm compared to all of them? Little to no chance it would've been his. I think I was more realistic about the possibility,and my hubby was turned on by the idea of me being pregnant by another man. Knowing his attitude about it gave me solace. If it happened,everybody there would know,but we would've probably told the people back home,his family,the adoption lie.

One reason why I didn't want a baby for several years is that I didn't want the responsibility. I was having a great time,and I didn't want anything to interfere with my fun. It wasn't until we'd been in Germany for almost a year that I got the baby bug.

If I hadn't had the issue inside my incubator,the odds of my having a black baby would've been close to 100% in Georgia,then again in Germany.

During the first year in Georgia,I had some issues with cramps and minor ******* several times. I was fucking day and night,and thought that maybe it had gotten a little too rough,because each time it happened,I would be OK again very quickly,pretty much the next day as I remember.

I missed my period sometimes,but that came back too,so I wasn't concerned.

I only left Georgia one time without my hubby in the time I was there. I went to Florida with my friend,Andy. We were gone for more than a week,and my pills were where they always were,at home on the shelf in the cabinet next to the fridge. His homies passed me around for the entire time we were there,making the most of the time we had to be together.

A few weeks after that,my period hadn't happened,and I was getting morning sickness. I knew I was pregnant,and the kicker was that it wasn't any of the guys I was normally with who got me pregnant,unless it was Andy. I figured it was one of his homies,and I felt good about the fact that all of them were really good-looking. I made an appointment to see a doctor on post,and was prepared to go through with it. I was even fantasizing about which of them was the *******. I had two favorites in the group,and I was trying to guess the moment when one of them impregnated me.

Before my appointment with the doctor came,I got up one morning with cramps that got worse after I was up for a while. It was like the times before,only more dramatic and painful. That's when I knew that I had had several miscarriages.

Several years later,in Germany: We hadn't been there long,and I was busy taking classes. I had sex with a couple husbands in a swinger's group,and my hubby was there a lot,but I was also having sex with too young black guys who were becoming my best friends. I was closer to thirty than twenty by then,and they were both barely into their twenties. It's almost comical now,but I thought of them as my young studs,my boy toys,like the five or six years between our ages was significant.

I missed my period and started having morning sickness again. I saw a doctor,and everything checked out OK. The timing wasn't good,and there was no way to know who the baby's ******* would be,or whether it would be white or black. Still,I was happy and excited about having a baby. It just felt good,and I was an emotional mess when I miscarried again. I told the doctor about my past miscarriages,and they ran some tests to determine what my problem might be. There didn't seem to be anything seriously wrong with me,but I was low on several counts that they thought might be solved with some supplements. I started using condoms,except with my hubby,and I was soon pregnant again. Not only was it successful that time,but my pregnancy and the next couple of years after were the horniest years of my life.

After my hubby invited the black men on post to fuck me as much as they wanted,the only condition being that they had to respect the fact that I was a mom to a baby,everything went perfectly. That was the best period of my life. I had one or more black men with me virtually every minute,day and night. I was getting even better sex than I had gotten in Georgia,and they were really considerate with my baby. Some of them were fantastic with my baby,doing everything short of changing diapers. I was extremely horny,and I the thought of being pregnant again was on my mind a lot. I wanted to have a black baby,and if we had been able to stay another year in Germany,I would've almost certainly been able to have a black baby. There was no guarantee with the methods they used to prevent miscarriage,but it had worked once already.

After we came back to the states,life got more stressful and serious. I lost interest in having another baby,and I never did.

 

[Notsomeangene]

Thank you. Interesting story. At the end of the time you were in Germany,you weren't using any birth control?

 

[seldomseen]

None I started taking the pill again after I gave birth,but not for long. I had changed since the first miscarriage in Germany. My libido was over the top before the end of the first trimester of my pregnancy. It stayed elevated throughout the time I was pregnant and it wasn't long after I gave birth before I was wanting to be pregnant again. Call me crazy,but being pregnant felt good most of the time.

During different periods of time,having a baby,and particularly a black baby would've affected our lives differently. I was OK with the idea in Georgia,but I knew I wasn't really ready for that much responsibility. In Germany,I was ready. I knew that I wanted my second baby to be black,and I was already thinking about a third,also black. In the end,it was just fantasy. I think it's like that for more people than not,but I thought I was sure then.

 

[seldomseen]

During my pregnancy,my best friends,the two young black men were with me a lot. Everybody thought that I was pregnant by one of them,so when I had my hubby's baby,it was actually a surprise to some people. I don't think gossip could've influenced my thinking,except that maybe the fact that everybody including us talked about me being black pregnant might have planted the thought in my mind. Whatever the case,I was seriously wanting it then,and I still wish we could've stayed the one more year in Germany. I think it would've been almost certain to happen if we had.

Two of our nieces are married to black men and have children. I've looked closely at those *******,asking myself if our adoption story would've been believed,and the answer is no. They look like both of their parents. The truth would've been known.