Is there a girl near your boyfriend that you are concerned about her being too friendly or close to him?Well, my photographer friend is wanting to use that guy and a few other guys from the last 2 shoots and me (along with another girl) for 2 shoots this weekend so we will all be together again and they are wanting me to go out with them after (we are in a group chat now lol) and even my own bf is telling me I should go out and have a good weekend instead of being a boring recluse and staying at home like I usually do on weekends
But I am very hesitant to do ANY of that stuff.
Hey, I'm Erica.
- Thread starter HeyItsEricaB
- Start date
Not at all. We have never had any of that kind of stuff.
You need a life lol go out and enjoy even your BF said soWell, my photographer friend is wanting to use that guy and a few other guys from the last 2 shoots and me (along with another girl) for 2 shoots this weekend so we will all be together again and they are wanting me to go out with them after (we are in a group chat now lol) and even my own bf is telling me I should go out and have a good weekend instead of being a boring recluse and staying at home like I usually do on weekends
But I am very hesitant to do ANY of that stuff.
Keith Lawrence
Male
Welcome and go with your heart, be safe and enjoy. Thank you for sharing.Hey, I didn’t plan on posting on here but I’ve gotten a few messages so I felt like I should introduce myself and say why I am here and answer some of the common questions I am getting to avoid disappointing people further lol.
I am Erica (my real name) and I am 21 (about to be 22!) My pfp is really a picture of me… I wasn’t going to do that at first but tbh it was kind of exhilarating to hitting upload. Idk why, lol.
I have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2.5 years. He is white like me and is unaware that I am on here. TBH we don't talk about anything like this.
I have only ever had 2 sexual partners — both were white — one was my HS bf and the other is my current bf. I am not wild and never have been so my s*x life will probably be veryyy boring to you.
To start off — this type of thing is really new to me and I came here to just explore from the “safety” of my computer after some recent stuff has left me kind’ve… curious I guess? And confused. idk.
So, to be clear I have zero experience and am not exactly seeking to gain any experience (yet?)
I have never fantasized about black guys and have never really watched porn or anything. I am not "this" kind of person usually so I don't want to lead anybody on or make you think otherwisee.
What happened was, around a month ago, I was doing some modeling for a photographer friend of mine (see PFP lol) — I just do it occasionally and mostly for the fun of it and a little extra cash. It is usually just styled shoots or clothing/swimwear. I have known him and worked with him since I was really young so it's nothing wild.
Anyways, around a month ago he called me super last minute to help him with a shoot and model and during that all the male models on the shoot were black men. I ended up overhearing them talking — in explicit detail — about wanting to “F*** the white girl” and saying all sorts of crazy sexual stuff.
I was kind’ve offended at first (i think?) if I am being honest. But later that night I basically had a sexual fantasy and they have been reoccurring just about every night since that day. Just different versions of dreams where I am around my boyfriend/my family/his family/my friends and there is this black guy that keeps flirting with me and trying to get me to sneak off with him and I like make random excuses to go to my room or outside and somehow he follows me and we start making out and he like takes my clothes off or just moves them out of the way and it is like he is just about to penetrate me for sex and then I ALWAYS wake up right at that point and am usually sweating like crazy with my heart racing and have to m*sturb*te just to get my heart to calm down so that I can fall back asleep.
It is SO WEIRD and confusing tbh… because I have never in my life had sex dreams really and definitely not so vivid.
Then on Wednesday (a few days ago) I did another photoshoot with my friend and a couple of the guys from a month ago were there so it was 3 of them and me and my photog friend and we were driving around out in the country for pictures. So there wasn’t a lot of privacy for changing or anything and I ended up having a (minor) wardrobe malfunction and flashed my butt several times because of wind really and so there were more comments made but this time to my face.
At the end of that I got a text from one of the guys (who got my # from the photog) asking if I wanted to go get drinks and hangout.
I didn’t respond that night and didn’t go but he and another one of the guys have texted me a few times since then…
But ever since Wednesday, it is like I keep thinking about what I am dreaming about and THIS stuff… so I am just trying to figure out what is going on in my head and everything from the safety of being alone on my computer lol
Which is why I came here because I thought the forum might be insightful… but I have kind’ve been afraid to explore too much.
So, I don’t have a previous interest in any of this, no experience, and no plans… just some curiosity and frustrating dreams and thoughts that I can’t make go away.
Yeah but he didn't mean what you mean. lol.
That was cool of your man though, he just wants you to have fun.
Are they all going to be black guys, in this shoot? Just wondered if your bf knew that, when he encouraged you to go lol.Well, my photographer friend is wanting to use that guy and a few other guys from the last 2 shoots and me (along with another girl) for 2 shoots this weekend so we will all be together again and they are wanting me to go out with them after (we are in a group chat now lol) and even my own bf is telling me I should go out and have a good weekend instead of being a boring recluse and staying at home like I usually do on weekends
But I am very hesitant to do ANY of that stuff.
YouWillNeverKn
Male
You are hesitant because you are worried about the consequences if you are caught, not because you don't want to do it.Well, my photographer friend is wanting to use that guy and a few other guys from the last 2 shoots and me (along with another girl) for 2 shoots this weekend so we will all be together again and they are wanting me to go out with them after (we are in a group chat now lol) and even my own bf is telling me I should go out and have a good weekend instead of being a boring recluse and staying at home like I usually do on weekends
But I am very hesitant to do ANY of that stuff.
Obviously be careful and make sure your boyfriend is happy at home etc (keep texting him regularly etc) and when you are with the 3-4 guys, just see what happens. You might end up doing something with one of them... Or... You may end up doing something with several of them (that's my bet).
Just be careful and noone will find out. You'll be fine.
You need to tell him you desire more and have needs. I know your other replies suggested you might not be into the idea of a toy, but they can be very realistic feeling. There's also the possibility of making him watch via FaceTime/video and telling him that's what you need. That could totally change his mind about things. I wouldn't suggest doing anything behind his back, it could wreck a relationship, now if it's fading and/or not working just end it, have your fun. But if that isn't the case you'll need to find ways to open his mind to it/get him on board.
He knows who will be at the shoot and who wants to go out afterwards but he also knows that I have said for my entire life that I'm not attracted to those type of guys plus he doesn't see those types of guys as a threat because of what I just said and his own beliefs. If it was a bunch of white model guys he wouldn't be so cool about it but to hm this is basically me saying "I'm going out with the girls this weekend."
Not really, because am really confident that I wouldn't get caught. That has nothing to do with it.
To be blunt I am worried that I am just extra h*rny lately because I haven't had s*x in a while and I think I am just more s*xual than my bf to where I would do it more regularly if I could. So, I am afraid this is result of it being so long since the last time and that as soon as I do anything this will go away and the feelings won't be as intense and then I will regret it for a lot of reason.
On the opposite side part of me does worry about this NOT being a passing feeling/thought and like what that could mean going forward.
But it has nothing to do with being worried about being caught my bf will be out of town from Thursday until Monday and then he is hopping on a flight with his family on Tuesday and will be traveling with them for 11 days beyond that. So, I know I could "get away" with anything... I am not worried about that.
I am worried about whether I want to do something that is against my character/beliefs and like I said up there... worried that this is just h*rniness making me feel this way.
You may not get caught in the act but you will get caught up in the guilt / lies of cheating. Go out and have fun.... enjoy the attention! Only you can answer the question about doing something aginst your character / beliefs.
This is just me thinking out loud and it will make me sound HORRIBLE and I am not saying that I believe this but I am just thinking... is it cheating if there are no feelings involved? Like if it is purely for pleasure and both people agree and see it that way. And no relationship or any emotional stuff happens.
Like, I go 1-2 times a week and get (professional) massages from a guy -- that is pleasurable for me but it isn't cheating because it is purely for the purposes of relief/relaxation/pleasure. I mean I am alone in a room with a guy and am n*aked (not exposed though) and he is rubbing all over my neck, back, legs, and feet... I know that is almost entirely different but ... idk doesn't it make sense what I am saying or does that just sound like I am the worst human being on earth?
Not saying I believe this or going to use this as justification... just something I have been thinking about and am now thinking out loud.
I think that it all makes sense to me now, but only you can make that decision.
You look amazing in it though.Agreed to do photoshoot this weekend =
Agreed to go out afterwards =
Randomly bought lingerie for the first time in my life today =
Planned on using on my bf too try to calm down my h*rniness only for him to bail on me and leave a day early for his trip =
P*ssed off =
thank you. glad somebody thinks so.
YouWillNeverKn
Male
Very nice btwAgreed to do photoshoot this weekend =
Agreed to go out afterwards =
Randomly bought lingerie for the first time in my life today =
Planned on using on my bf too try to calm down my h*rniness only for him to bail on me and leave a day early for his trip =
P*ssed off =
YouWillNeverKn
Male
Okay I would say don't do it only because you are p*ssed off... Do it because you want to do it. Anyway, let me (well, us) know how it went Sunday morning.Agreed to do photoshoot this weekend =
Agreed to go out afterwards =
Randomly bought lingerie for the first time in my life today =
Planned on using on my bf too try to calm down my h*rniness only for him to bail on me and leave a day early for his trip =
P*ssed off =
I’m waiting to see you get verified, because right now you sound too cliche to be real.
