Getting my wife over the hump?

[Armor31]

I know, I know this has probably been asked a million times but here goes, flame away if you must but know that I am honestly trying to get on top of this, excuse the pun. I am a 49 yo white male and my white wife is 45. Since this is about getting her into the lifestyle she is 5”9, 140lbs with legs and an ass that still defy gravity and 3 grown children. We have/had an active sex life that has tampered off over time. I introduced her to the idea of wife sharing early in our marriage, we have been married for 24 years now. She was Not interested at all, of course I was a novice and clumsy when I did this plus there were not sites like this available to give me guidance. Hell the internet was barely available. She will occasionally, especially when she has been drinking or smoking Watch IR porn as well as using a black dildo we bought in New Orleans during playtime. She is up to 8 inches wet on the 10 inch dildo and cums every time. The next day she will not discuss what she enjoyed about our experience. I have been working on getting her comfy with the idea of black cock for a little over a year. Now what, do I give up, do I turn up the pressure, I am so confused and would love to move our relationship to the next level? Any input would be helpful!? Sorry if the question is too long just wanted to give everyone some background.

 

[Torpedo]

You need an honest discussion for starters. Tell her your fantasies and tell her that if she wants to expand her horizons you are supportive. Before Covid I would recommend starting at a swingers club. It is generally the safest place. Most clubs have mixers a few times a year and most are no pressure. If she wants to expand her horizons she my not want to start with a large black man, she may want an average white male. The most important thing to remember is that the choices are hers to make.

 

[steveh]

yes, take her to a swingers club first, that will get her going when she sees all those dicks

 

[MacNfries]

Any input would be helpful!?

Notice you've been a member here only a short time but already have a "well written" profile of yourself & wife. Kudos for doing that!
Having read what you've posted, thus far, I'm thinking that you possibly know less about your wife's sexual desires/feelings as you should at this point in a marriage. Just from reading your bio your wife sounds hot ... hope at some point you'll feel comfortable posting a few photos of her.
• It doesn't sound like you know much about her own sexual fantasies; it might be good to explore deeper into what she thinks of, when you're not around, that makes her "wet". Sometimes its not easy to extract that info without inducements ... my wife responds well to tequila and my top shelf margaritas. But, it only makes sense to find out what SHE is interested in, and approaching her from that direction. She'll be more inclined to listen.
• You don't mention "family" or her moral standards, but often women are protective of both of these topics. By the way, just curious ... "have you ever watched her masturbating without your involvement?"
• After all the years of marriage, she's possibly protective of her marriage as well ... she has a lot invested in you.
• She's taking all the risks ... marriage, injury, STDs, attachment, etc ... if when these come up be ready to address them confidently.
• I wouldn't be forsing conversation on her ... once she's ready to talk & open up, then pull out your "fishing equipment"
• Reassure her that you expect no reciprocation from what you want her to do. Hey, this really IS your fantasy, not hers. Start by admitting THAT.

With all that said, as has been mentioned, take her to a few established "Lifestyle" clubs. Best time to go is usually their Hospitality Night when people show up to consider memberships, etc. Everyone is clothed, initially, to the few I've been to, and no one will be "hitting on her". The two of you would be there as guests to observe/survey the establishment. The owners will most definitely want to put their best appearance forward.
So, lets say you've visited a few, decided to join one. These establishments are useful in providing you prospective, private "swing partners". You're wife and you hit it off with someone, you invite them to party privately with you. He may be white, he may be black, etc ... but the idea is to "open her up" to sharing herself with other men and to confirm that what she does is not only OK with you, but turns you on. By the way, the first few times you see another man sexing your pretty wife, you'll get a big rush of adrenaline & mood swings. And the next time you have sex with her, both you and her will screw like RABBITS ... with those fresh memories in your head.
Maybe invite her prospective partners over for a cookout to allow everyone to become comfortable with each other, again, after the original meeting.
I, for one, have a little difficult time springing up an erection at a minute's notice. I need a bit of time to get relaxed, otherwise, I'm gonna need some hot lips encouraging my "noodle" to rise. LOL So, that's what these little cookouts are for ... some casual conversation with drinks & burgers to get everyone in the mood.

 

[Armor31]

Your are awesome! Thank you so much for replying to my profile. I may come to you for more guidance in the future.

it is funny but I hear of so many fakes and falsehoods on this site. I am not one of those people, what you see is what you get.

 

[Drillher4me]

I know, I know this has probably been asked a million times but here goes, flame away if you must but know that I am honestly trying to get on top of this, excuse the pun. I am a 49 yo white male and my white wife is 45. Since this is about getting her into the lifestyle she is 5”9, 140lbs with legs and an ass that still defy gravity and 3 grown children. We have/had an active sex life that has tampered off over time. I introduced her to the idea of wife sharing early in our marriage, we have been married for 24 years now. She was Not interested at all, of course I was a novice and clumsy when I did this plus there were not sites like this available to give me guidance. Hell the internet was barely available. She will occasionally, especially when she has been drinking or smoking Watch IR porn as well as using a black dildo we bought in New Orleans during playtime. She is up to 8 inches wet on the 10 inch dildo and cums every time. The next day she will not discuss what she enjoyed about our experience. I have been working on getting her comfy with the idea of black cock for a little over a year. Now what, do I give up, do I turn up the pressure, I am so confused and would love to move our relationship to the next level? Any input would be helpful!? Sorry if the question is too long just wanted to give everyone some background.

It was a quick and short trip to get my wife, Pam, to fulfill my fantasy, which by the way was to see her get laid by a black guy! We were on a combined vacation/convention trip at the time. The night prior to the start of the convention we attended a cocktail party and met up with a long lost old university roommate of mine, Edwin. I introduced him to Pam and the following night he introduced her to her first ever BBC! It was simply a matter of being in the right place at the right time with the right guy, from there on Pam set the ground rules, of which there were few (if any)!
P.S. Did I mention that to get to that night it only took almost eight (8) years!

 

[Drillher4me]

It was a quick and short trip to get my wife, Pam, to fulfill my fantasy, which by the way was to see her get laid by a black guy! We were on a combined vacation/convention trip at the time. The night prior to the start of the convention we attended a cocktail party and met up with a long lost old university roommate of mine, Edwin. I introduced him to Pam and the following night he introduced her to her first ever BBC! It was simply a matter of being in the right place at the right time with the right guy, from there on Pam set the ground rules, of which there were few (if any)!
P.S. Did I mention that to get to that night it only took almost eight (8) years!

P.P.S. Pam just corrected me, she says she secumed to BBC after almost nine (9) years of marriage!
Who am I to argue?

 

[Cleprcouple]

yes, take her to a swingers club first, that will get her going when she sees all those dicks

How do you know that she will

 

[steveh]

How do you know that she will

she won't be able to resist at least mine wasn't

 

[MagicMikeATX]

I know, I know this has probably been asked a million times but here goes, flame away if you must but know that I am honestly trying to get on top of this, excuse the pun. I am a 49 yo white male and my white wife is 45. Since this is about getting her into the lifestyle she is 5”9, 140lbs with legs and an ass that still defy gravity and 3 grown children. We have/had an active sex life that has tampered off over time. I introduced her to the idea of wife sharing early in our marriage, we have been married for 24 years now. She was Not interested at all, of course I was a novice and clumsy when I did this plus there were not sites like this available to give me guidance. Hell the internet was barely available. She will occasionally, especially when she has been drinking or smoking Watch IR porn as well as using a black dildo we bought in New Orleans during playtime. She is up to 8 inches wet on the 10 inch dildo and cums every time. The next day she will not discuss what she enjoyed about our experience. I have been working on getting her comfy with the idea of black cock for a little over a year. Now what, do I give up, do I turn up the pressure, I am so confused and would love to move our relationship to the next level? Any input would be helpful!? Sorry if the question is too long just wanted to give everyone some background.

Yeah, this is AWKWARD AS *******.

it's not going to go as expected and here is why...
She didn't do it when she was younger and 'hotter'(and way more active sex drive) and those years are steadily drifting away. Most women sex drive DECREASES dramatically as they get older. But then they hit that '3rd Act' and they get sexually active again. So at that point you MIGHT have a 55-60 yo Nympho. but I doubt it.

YOU on the other hand, have a serious fetish issue lol projecting it onto your spouse ain't helping.

 

[Armor31]

MajicMikeATX, Thank you for your reply. Back in the day when we were younger in the south btw the lifestyle was not like it is today. Hell there was practically no social media. I will reevaluate my situation. As I said in this thread I am not one of those guys who spreads BS so I hope if you have any tips they would be appreciated.

 

[Chuchipower]

She is giving you a hint with the colour of the dildo:if she picked the colour when you bought it,that's a signal

 

[neataxis]

We are an older couple and with so many places closed we have not been out socializing. My wife has not had BBC but has dated others but I do think in the right situation she would immediately go for it.

 

[Armor31]

Ok all, not that this is a big surprise but Me and the wife are separating, not what you think may be the reason but because of baby issues. My ******* and I are moving in together so I can be more of a positive influence in his life, so the lifestyle thing will go on the back burner for now. I will still enjoy and comment on the website. I will not be one of those fake members who tries to pass himself of as a woman or anything of that sort but as a white guy who learns something new from this website every time I log on.