I under stand same thing with meI began after my divorce. Nothing could have saved my marriage
I've got a friend who lived like that for almost 15 years. He went his way, she went hers...although they continued living under the same roof. The marriage deteriorated after their ******* was born . She said she hoped her husband and ******* would develop a closeness but it never worked. She finally divorced him when her ******* was 15.
All of this is interesting. My situation is slightly different. We both see others. Over the years we have become more of friends and less of a couple. We do things together but sometimes there is that feeling that the spark is gone. We once discussed divorce but then figured what we have works for us even if we dont exactly act as a traditional married couple. But the thought of going my own way does linger and I am certain she thinks about it too. Also sometimes it could be other priorities and maybe not the lifestyle. For example she has suddenly started talking about another baby. Oh no... Hell no way. I am done LOL.... Time will tell.
So who gets more action? You or her? Does she ever complain about her sex life to you?
15 years of being miserable. God damn. So did the wife just get with other guys the whole time? And she expected him to be cool with that?
Hmmm who gets more action. I honestly have never run numbers on it. She sees more people. I have a stable girlfriend on the side. So I tend to only meet her, more so given limited opportunities due to COVID. As for complaints... No, or none that I have paid attention to LOL
Unless.........there's another goal or purpose in mind.
I think sometimes it may be viewed from a 3rd party that way but I would guess that sometimes the idea from people actually IN the union is more like “fuck it, our marriage is probably going to fail anyway, what do I have to lose? Maybe I can fulfill a fantasy on the way out” There are many facets to having a good marriage and plenty of people who had great sex with their spouse end up getting divorced. I doubt sexual comparability is often a reason for divorce…people tend to know if that’s an issue before they marry. IMO anyway. It’s easier to push boundaries when you don’t give a ******* what the other person thinks.
You took the words right out of my mouth! Great response. I only love my husband more, if possible, for letting me have this adventure. We started in a pretty normal 30 year relationship/marriage… mostly all great still despite the ups and downs of life and teens… lots of love, friendship and trust. And now that I have one guy I see only, we communicate a TON about the jealousy he has never had before. And I understand… trying to figure out whether this is something he will try too. I’m open to it and then I might feel a little jealous (not normal for me either).
Although I agree more with @AnnieS on this subject, I have to say you do bring up a different perspective… especially that partners might push boundaries sexually when they don’t care if the marriage succeeds or fails at a certain point. And it could certainly go either way… Spice things up but maybe the couple realizes they do still want/need each other for companionship and friendship (or maybe raising their children civilly and with respect for each other); but likely the marriage will fall farther apart… but as you pointed out, sometimes couples are at the point where they don’t care anyway (they should at least know this ain’t the way to fix it)… but they might have a hell of a time going down with the ship.
Very well said. Non monogamy is an advanced level to take your relationship to, if you're already failing at the basics it's not going to be a successful endeavor to bring other people into your mess.
Which is?
Are you married? Or divorced?
Geecrizz was headed down the road that I was thinking. There's no way i believe the majority want a 3rd to save a marriage but to fulfill a deep seeded fantasy of seeing their wife perform live porn for them. Don't get me wrong, there are countless stories of how a couple "opened up" and their bond got stronger due to or through the experience. But in some cases as gee said, it may already be bad so might as well go for broke and push the experience not worrying about what it may due to the relationship.
My bad. Wasn't trying to speak for you but do agree with some points you made.
