We met a man almost a decade ago, - Darnell - and began a very serious, long term relationship. We already had two children. We had an accidental pregnancy with my man and decided to keep the babies (twins). We went on to have two more children with this man.
Even after many years in the lifestyle, and having Darnell in our lives for several years, it was very hard on my husband. In the beginning, the relationship with Darnell was just very, very sexual. The best sex of my life in many ways. After the twins were conceived, it evolved into much more. I came to love Darnell very much. I still loved jeff, but Darnell became very much the Man in our lives.
Jeff stepped up the counseling he was getting during that first pregnancy, and it helped him cope, but didn't really solve or resolve anything, because it didn't change any of the underlying facts.
In my third trimester, Jeff became impotent. That changed my husband a lot, but it also brought a lot of peace into our lives'. It placed him into "another category" so to speak and took a lot of pressure off of him and off our relationship and family. Since he can't do certain things, he doesn't try those things anymore and doesn't even broach those subjects. As a result, he is much more passive and either stays out of the way, or lends "assistance" in a much more congenial manner. He always was polite and respectful with Darnell, but since 2017, he has arrived at a new level of acceptance and harmony with my lover.