A long time ago...

...in a place far, far away.

I couldn’t get enough pussy, ass, and head. I loved sex. I was perpetually horny and hard. You see, I loved women. I still do. The way they look, the way they smell, the way they feel, the way they taste. You get the picture. And then I discovered the Interracial porn. And my world turned upside down.

I was a typical straight married white guy about 25 years ago, when it happened. My ex-wife took a job working nights. So every 2-3 weeks I’d go to the local video store (remember them) to rent some porn to jack off to. One day I’m in there and see a name I recognized. It was a chick I’d seen do several anal scenes. I thought I hadn’t seen any goos anal in a while, maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll do anal in this one. Well she didn’t. What I didn’t know was that she was also know for doing interracial. So I get the video home and plug it in. The first scene is a black man and a white chick. No big deal, I’d seen it before. There was an interracial scene in every 8-10 videos I’d watched before in mainstream, what I call white on white porn, videos. I wasn’t one of those white guys that would fast forward though interracial scenes. I didn’t see them any differently than any other porn scene. I just jacked my dick as I watched. The next scene was 2 white girls. Then another scene with a black man and a white chick. Then a white guy and white girl. And the last scene was 2 black men and a white girl. When it was over, I remember thinking, damn, that was hot. Then I thought, should I have gotten off on that as much as I did? Should I have really liked that, that much? After all isn’t this the kind of porn that that black men that like white girls like. And I’m a white guy, so I shouldn’t have liked it that much, should I have? But damn, it was hot. I came 3 times while watching it. Wait, usually I only cum twice when I watch porn videos. Sometimes I have to keep jacking after the last scene to get that second nut. So why did I cum 3times during this one. And as I thought about it more I realized I came at the end of each of the interracial scenes. Thinking about it more I realized the scene that turned me on the least was the scene with the white guy and girl. Damn, it was like I just got kick in the gut. Weird. But I let it go and went about my business.

A couple of weeks later I’m horny and looking for porn to get off to. I get a movie take it home. But this time it’s just not doing it for me. A couple weeks later, same thing. A few weeks later, same thing. A couple of weeks after that I’m in the video store bound and determined to find something that’s going to get me off. I’m looking closely at every box, front and back. About half way around the little room where they keep the porn, I see a movie that is obviously interracial. I think to myself, that last one that was mostly interracial was really good. Nope. I can’t rent that, I’m a white guy. The chick at the counter will think I’m some kind of weirdo (the chick at the counter could care less about what kind of porn anyone watches). I finish going around the room without making a choice. I go around the room closely checking each box 4-5 times more. Each time stopping at the interracial title and remembering how much I got off on the last one. 3-4 guys come and go, picking movies while I can’t make up my mind. Finally I get the courage to get the interracial video. I get it home and it’s better than the other one I liked some much. I’m perplexed. Why do I get off so much watching black men fuck white girls?

I try watching mainstream white on white porn 3-4 more times. But eventually I give up and begin to only watch interracial porn now. If the video store doesn’t have anything, I go to another store. I have memberships all over town. I eventually find a store that specializes in porn. Unlike other store that have a big room filled with G through R and games and such. With a little room in the back that has porn. They have a little room in front with regular movies and a huge room with nothing but porn in the back. And it’s on the “black side” of town. So they always have interracial titles. I’m in porn heaven. Now I find myself getting irritated when a video has a white couple or a white guy fucking a black chick. I find myself fast forwarding through those scenes.

This is in the early-mid 90s. I didn’t have internet yet. I thought I was the only white guy in the world that loved watching black men fuck white chicks. But I couldn’t help myself. Around 1997 I got internet. I had AOL (remember them). I quickly discovered the chat rooms. And then the specialized chat rooms for black men and white women. I began to enjoy professing my love for interracial sex to black men and white women in these rooms. Some would want to chat with this weird white guy that got off on interracial sex, but had no skin (dick) in the game. The white women would tell me how much bigger and better black men were. How white guys just can’t satisfy them anymore. The black men would tell how they liked taking “our women” from us. How much they got off fucking some white guy’s wife. They I began to discover other white guys that were also into interracial sex. Either porn, or actually watching their wives with black men. My little white dick was as hard as a rock. Not only was I not the only white guy in the world that liked interracial porn, but now I began to think about my wife getting fucked by black men. Suddenly I couldn’t get off with I had sex with my wife unless I was imagining her having sex with black men.

Years went by and my wife was working another job. This time she was working with a couple of black men. She told how they would flirt with her. I told her it’s all in fun and to enjoy it. Secretly I was hoping she would fuck both of them. My wish became only partly true. She did have an affair with one of them. But she never told me about it. I was in the Army and went to Korea for a year. She stayed home. Half way through the year she told me she wanted a divorce. She got some black dick, which is what I wanted. It just didn’t work out the way I hoped. After the divorce was final, she and I were talking. I had a new girlfriend, she had him. We were talking about our new relationships and eventually sex came up. She admitted to me that she never knew sex could be that good. Talk about getting kicked in the teeth. But I knew it was true. The thing is even with my new girlfriend, I still couldn’t get off unless I thought about her getting fucked by black men.

Fast forward to about 10 years ago. I discover cuckold porn. I didn’t realize what it was. But it summed up everything that turned me on. Alpha black males, slutty white women, and weak beta white males. I knew instantly that was who I am as a person. I knew I wanted to eat a black man’s cum from a woman’s pussy. Eventually I realized I want to to suck a black man’s cock. Even take it in my ass. Even though I admitted these things to myself, I still considered myself straight. After a few years though, I did find myself at an adult bookstore on my knees with a black man’s cock in my mouth. Not long after that I took one in the ass. Eventually I had to admit my bisexuality. Now a few years later, and at least a dozen black men having came in my mouth and 5 different black men having fucked my ass, I find myself in new territory. I still love women, and want to have a serious relationship with one. But I have no drive to fuck women anymore. The only thing I want to put my dick in now, is my hand, or maybe a chastity cage. Women’s bodies, their mouths, pussies, and asses are for black men. I’d much rather watch a black man fuck a woman, and jack off, than fuck her myself. I will cum more and harder this way. It’s the best sex I can have. I still want to eat pussy an ass. I just want it to be freshly fucked and filled with a black man’s/men’s cum. As for men, they must be black and they must be tops. I have to be the bottom bitch. I want to be used for black men’s pleasure. I don’t need to get off.it gets me off, to get black men off. Even if I don’t cum.

So that’s my dilemma. Have I become completely gay now? The only straight sex I want now is to eat women’s pussies and asses. And even then I want them to contain black men’s cum. I don’t want my penis to penetrate anything. Yet I want black men to penetrate me. Is this typical of cuckolds? Or am I just another faggot?
 
This is a whole lot to read and i guess it must have been on your mind to come out with that. Now that you have made the effort to write it i read it. To answer your last question, without judgement i would say you have become gay. Or maybe 99%. ;) i honestly can`t say if it is typical for cuckolds, but when you read through the forums here you will find many that are about on the same page. So it is definitely "out there". Anyway it shouldn`t be a dilemma. Accept your sexuality and enjoy it. There are people "out there" who match your needs. :)
 
After reading that I truly believe you are gay. But then again you already know that, right? ;)
 
Not gay 100% if you still like women somehow, even while they are getting fucked by others. Now, not all cuckolds quit sex with their partners. On the other side, your homosexual fixation is oriented towards black men only, isn't it?
 
Not gay 100% if you still like women somehow, even while they are getting fucked by others. Now, not all cuckolds quit sex with their partners. On the other side, your homosexual fixation is oriented towards black men only, isn't it?
Yes. When it comes to men, I only want to be fucked by black men.
 
Back
Top